


Niall One Shots

by jamesniallar



Category: 1D - Fandom, Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), niall horan - Fandom
Genre: Cute Niall, Dom Niall, F/M, Famous Niall, Frat Boy Niall, Hurt Niall, Innocent Niall Horan, Kinky, Niall Horan - Freeform, Niall smut, Punk Niall, cuddly niall, daddy - Freeform, niall au, niall fluff, niall imagines, niall one shots, niall thirst, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 119,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4072156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesniallar/pseuds/jamesniallar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can find more on my blog: jamesniallar.tumblr.com . As well as imagines, one shots, and preferences !</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Love That Makes it Better

After a particularly long day at work, you come home almost in tears.

You find yourself leaning against the door, trying to control your rapid breathing, fighting the tears from pouring out. Your bottom lip trembling, hand knotted in your hair.

Ever since you and Niall were getting more serious and living together and being a bit more public about it-the hate from your coworkers hit you hard.

Niall had heard the door open but didn't think much about it since you were expected home. "Hey babe!" He called out without taking his eyes off of the football match on the television screen.

After he didn't hear you call back or really any noise happening in the house, "Babe?" He calls out worriedly.

He gets up from the couch and sees you sitting on the floor against the door, your eyes bright red and and tear-stained tracks on your face.

Niall frowns and comes to you immediately, "Oh Y/N..." He leans against the door with you and pulls you into his arms. "What happened?"

You shake your head, not really wanting to talk about it because you know how he got, rather protective of you he was. Also, talking about it at this point would probably make it hurt more.

He held you tighter against his chest, his hand smoothing out your hair, "Oh sweetheart, I am sorry your day was bad." He spoke softly, kissing your temple gently.

You sniff softly and just let him hold you for awhile, you slowly feel yourself drifting off in his arms and the fact he is playing with your hair is not helping your current state of exhaustion.

"Up we go, princess." He says softly, carrying you bridal style towards the bedroom.

He puts you down onto the bed and you don't let go of him, forcing him to lay in bed with you.

"I love you Ni." You sigh sleepily, resting your forehead against his.

"And, I, Y/N, love ya." He spoke softly, brushing a soft kiss against your lips. His fingers trailed up and down your back tenderly, causing you to shiver slightly.

You open your eyes to find his bright blue ones all ready on you.

"Hey." You whisper with a soft smile, running your hands through his messy hair.

"Hi." He smiles softly, his hand sliding underneath your shirt, tracing mindless patterns into your back.

You close the small gap between your lips with a heated kiss. You bite and pull on his lip and he moans softly, immediately opening his mouth up to you. His tongue pushes into your mouth and he explores your mouth with his tongue.

You whimper at his familiar taste, tangling your tongue up with his. You shift so you are straddling him to the bed. His hands come to rest on your ass, gripping it roughly.

Niall groans as you're pressed against his hard on, loving the feel of you on him. His hands tug eagerly at your top.

You break the kiss and pull off your top quickly, bending down to put your lips back on his.

He turns his head and it causes you to sit up, the fear of rejection coursing through you.

"Just want to look at ya for a moment, that's all." He says softly, his eyes raking up and down your body. His hands ran the length of your waist before going to unclip your bra, pulling it off your body. "Don't think I've told ya how beautiful ya look lately... Clothes on or off." He smiles softly, cupping your breasts, the pads of his thumbs rubbing over you nipples causing them to stiffen.

You sigh at his touch and he grows harder when he sees that he is turning you on. He pinches your nipples and you let out a soft whimper.

He bites his lip and moves so he could peel off his own shirt. Your fingers delicately trace up and down his toro. Niall shivers, shifting his hips upwards slightly.

You can feel his hard on through the fabric of your jeans.

You bite your lip and move so you're sitting in between his legs. You unbutton his trousers and pull down the zip.

Niall gasps in anticipation.

You pull down his boxers further, your hand gripping him at his base.

His hands come to your shoulders, "Baby, wait. Wait." He gasps out.

You pout, "Yes?"

"You were da one upset, let me pleasure ya." He shifts and pulls off his jeans and boxers off, discarding them over the side of the bed.

You chew on your lip.

"Babe, lemme treat ya." He spoke softly.

He hovers over you for a moment before tugging off your jeans and thong. He puts himself in-between your legs.

His fingers trail over your opening gently, "So wet for me baby..."

You sigh softly. His cold fingers press against your warm center, kneading your clit gently.

Soft noises come from you, your hands gripping the comforter.

Niall smirks at your reactions, his fingers slowly entering you. His mouth trails sloppy, wet kisses down your thigh until he sucks on your clit.

You start coming undone slightly beneath him. His name coming out of your mouth in sharp gasps, your hands moving to knot in his hair.

More whimpers come from you and he sucks a bit harder, his fingers curling.

As you're about to cum, he pulls away from you.

"Any position ya want?" He asks, trailing kisses up your body, biting softly when he gets to your nipples.

"I want to ride you." You say, breathlessly, writhing beneath him.

He nods and lays next to you. You straddle him to the bed and slowly slide onto him with a loud moan. He groans on your name, his hands gripping your hips.

You slowly start moving your hips up and down, riding him slowly at first. His eyes are on yours until the slowly travel downwards.

Niall's eyes are glued to your chest for a few moments while he watches you bounce up and down. But finally he makes it down further where you two are joined. He watches himself go in and out of you and he moans at the sight.

"Fuck baby..." He groans out.

Your nails dig into his chest and you increase your speed.

His name is being whispered by you like a prayer, over and over again. His fingers find your clit and massages you tenderly.

"Niall!" You scream out.

Niall starts to ram his hips up into you and your moans turned into screams.

"Cum Y/N, just release." Niall growls.

You do as he says, screaming out his name. He cums right after you do. You keep up your movements, riding out your orgasm with him.

"I love ya baby." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead.

You smile and kiss right under his chin, your hand resting on his damp chest, "I love you. Thank you." Your voice cracks slightly.

You loved Niall so much and you knew he loved you. This evening making evident that he did. Not that you doubted it.

He pulled you onto his chest and you snuggled into him.

"Ya know, naked cuddles are the best?" He said softly, playing with a piece of your hair.

You nod slightly, "With you, they are absolutely exceptional." You glance up at him.

He smiles down at you and kisses your forehead again, "Are we going to order in tonight?"

"Whatever ya want." You smile softly.

Niall nods, "Chinese it is."

You smile, Chinese is your favourite and here he was, choosing it for you.

"I love you Ni." You press your face in his chest. "So much."

"I love ya more Princess." He held you tightly. "But we need ta get dressed if take out is gonna be delivered.

You nod and pull on the tshirt he was wearing earlier and a pair leggings with fuzzy socks. Pure comfort.

He puts on a pair of sweats and a new shirt.

You start to go out towards the living room when he charges you from behind and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder.

You scream while laughing, "Niall! Put me down!" You tap on his butt playfully.

"Nope, gotta help my Princess to the couch." He tosses you onto the couch and jumps on you, "Hiii."

"Hey." You kiss his forehead, "I love you."

"I know." He teases and gets up to go to the kitchen.

He returns with a glass of red wine and a beer for himself.

"Football?"

You nod, "Football."

You two had opposing teams, but the love for the sport was real.

"Food is on its way as well."

"How did I get so lucky?" You smile softly.

Niall gazes at you, "I ask myself the same question."

You get up and kiss him for a long while, your hands tangled in his hair, tugging just the way he liked it.

The only thing that stopped you two was the doorbell rang. He broke the kiss and hurried to the door, "Love you!" You yelled out to him.

He laughs and answers the door. He comes back and puts all the food on the coffee table. "All right, here we go. Date night."

You laugh, "One of the best so far."

"Can't say I disagree." He kissed your cheek.

Your feet are tucked under you and you two watch each other while you eat, making causal conversation. About the upcoming album, about your work and who you've had to deal with.

The farthest thing from your mind though is how awful your day was. And the fact that it was all Niall that made you forget.

After the alcohol was drunk, food was ate, and the football match was on the television on low, you curled up next to him. Your head resting on his chest, arm around his waist.

His face resting in your hair, his fingers tracing your spine.

"Thank you Niall... you have no idea how much I needed this."

"I did." He said simply with a shrug.

You press your face in his chest, "I love you."

He kissed the top of your head, "I love you my princess. And remember, it's love, that makes it better."

That little piece of wisdom came from him and you thought about it for a moment. He spoke truth. "It does." You smiled at him.

You two stayed like in that position, the occasional sweet nothing being murmured ever so often.

Eventually his fingers stopped and your jaw slacked, you two both managing to fall asleep.


	2. It's About Teamwork

A soft cry from the monitor wakes you up. You groan and Niall shifts and rolls over to look at you. 

"You know he's  _your_  son?" You glare at him. 

"Oi, he's yers too."

"Only by default." You tease before pecking his lips. 

"Jus' like yer my wife, by default." He raised his brow and you hit his chest playfully. 

Niall laughs and pulls you into his arms, holding you close, his lips kissing up your neck. 

You shiver softly until the baby screams a little harder. 

"Ni, I have to go take care of Baby Craic." You sigh.

Charles Robert Horan was only a few months old, looked similar to Theo and was the sweetest baby. He usually slept through the night, ate well, and both you Niall were absolutely in love with your guys' little Craic. 

He shakes his head, "No, sweetie,  _I_  'ave ta go take care of Baby Craic, get some sleep." He kisses your forehead. 

"Love you."

"'N I love ya, my beautiful baby mama." He gets out of bed, just wearing his briefs, and goes down the hallway to Charles' nursery. "Little Craic Charlie, what's wrong bud?" He picks up little Charlie, cuddling him close to his chest. Charlie calmed down some.

Charlie had a bit of hair and it stuck up in every direction. His onesie had little elephants on it and his diaper was soggy. 

"Oh, yer diaper." Niall murmured. 

You listened carefully to the monitor before turning on the camera that you and Niall had set up in the nursery. You watched your two favourite boys on the camera quietly. 

Niall took Charlie out of his onesie and started to change him. He struggled for a few moments before letting out a triumphant noise. "Look at dat! Freshly changed, powdered, and perfect." Charlie punched his little fists in the air his bright blue eyes looking around the room, "Aw, my little Craic going to be a boxer?" Niall had yet to put the onesie on and sat with him on the rocking chair that was in his room. He rested Charlie against his naked chest, you knew Niall had seen you do that. 

When he had asked you about it, you simply said you read somewhere it was best for bonding-skin to skin contact for long amounts of time. 

Charlie let out a few coos and Niall smiled softly at him. "Who's me handsome, handsome man?" He kissed the soft spot on his head. 

The media had a field day when you and Niall got married, when your pregnant belly started showing, and when Charles came into the world. You two argued the name for a bit but Charles seemed like a strong name and Robert for Bobby. You and Niall had to be careful when taking him out, getting mauled. Of course Niall was all ready stressed due to his claustrophobia and then you with the baby in your arms, screaming because he's hungry, needs to be changed, the constant flashing of cameras... It was madness and stressful. 

But you would not trade Niall for another man in the world. He was yours and you were his, end of it. And together you brought in the sweetest baby boy, and hopefully more little Horan's, to the world. 

You hear Niall start to sing softly to Charlie. You lay back onto the covers and listened to your husband's voice and your son's cooing. 

You glanced at the clock and it had been close to thirty minutes since Niall had been out of bed. You know you weren't going to fall asleep until he was back in bed with you, so you just laid in bed listening. 

"Okay Charlie-boy, back into yer onesie." Niall laid, a now almost asleep, Charlie on the changing table. He carefully put his little arms and legs through the correct holes. He kissed his head gently again, "Daddy loves ya Charles, so much." He rocked him in his arms, humming until he fell asleep. 

He gently placed him in the crib, "Love ya son." He whispered before covering him up with his baby blanket that Niall's mum made for him. 

Niall made his way back to your guys' room. 

"Hi daddy." You smile softly up at him, teasing slightly.

Niall crawls into bed, laying on top of you, "Hi mummy." He teased right back.

"That was sweet..." You say softly, your eyes watching his, you move a piece of hair out off of his forehead. 

He shrugged, "Baby, dat was nothing." He kissed the tip of your nose. 

"Well you make a fantastic daddy to our little boy."

"Oh so he's ours now?" He winks and you can't help but roll your eyes with a smile. 

"He will always be ours, Mr. Horan."

"I would like ta t'ink so, Mrs. Horan." 

You kiss him gently and he returned the favour. However, the gentleness quickly grew into something else. 

His long fingers snapped the thin straps of your thong and your short, silk night gown was hastily discarded along with his Calvin Kleins. 

The sex between the two of you was sweet and slow. Perfect and in rhythm as usual. 

You were usually accustomed to screaming, but since you two were cleared for sex, that was a no go due to the baby. Usually that meant Niall would wake up with bruises from you biting him to keep from screaming out. 

You laid on his chest, your breathing heavy, your fingers tracing mindless patterns on his chest, "I love you, Niall." You spoke softly. 

His fingers danced up and down your spine tenderly, "I love  _ya._ " He kissed the top of your head, also trying to control his breathing. 

Sleep came for you two quickly, tangled up in each other's arms. 

However, the next time Charlie started crying Niall didn't even stir, his light snoring still filling the room. You roll your eyes slightly with a soft smile. 

This is what parenting was, teamwork. 

You sat up and searched for you nightgown and then found your fuzzy robe that Charlie loved snuggling into. 

You quietly made your way down to the nursery and picked him up, "Hey my big man. Shh, shh, you're okay." 

You turned off the monitor so Niall could sleep peacefully. 

You took down the strap of your gown and started breastfeeding, you close your eyes while he feeds. You murmur sweet nothings to him and stroke his soft head. 

Charlie finishes and you start to burp him, praising him when he gets them out. "Let's go wake up Daddy." You whispered to his smiley happy face after changing him. 

You carry him to the bedroom and sit in bed next to Niall with Charlie resting on your legs. 

"Daddy, wake up..." You stroke his hair gently and after a few moments he opens one eye. 

"Me favourite people." He grinned widely and leaned over the bed to find his underwear. "How'd our little Craic do?"

"He's been fed, changed, and just wanted some time with daddy before mummy goes for a shower." You smile at Niall, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Good morning sweetheart."

"Mornin' baby." He smiled up at you and took Charlie out of your lap. "Go enjoy your shower. Boy bonding time right here." 

You lean down and kiss him, "Thank you." 

He nods and shifts his attention to Charlie. 

You raise your brow and drop your robe to the ground, "Hey Niall?"

"Hm?" He glances up at you. 

You drop your night gown, "That's all." You wink and go off towards the shower. 

"Not fair!" He groaned out towards you. 

You take time with your shower, relishing in your "me time". You get out and walk into the closet with a towel wrapped around you. 

You choose your outfit mindlessly, knowing very well it will get spit up and throw up on it. 

Niall sat with Charlie for a bit before going to get some clothes on. A simple black shirt and grey skinny jeans. He stripped Charlie of his nighty onesie and laid him down amongst the white covers only in his white diaper. He smiled down at him, "Now don't move." Niall went down the hallway to grab Charlie a fresh change of clothes. 

You walked out of the bathroom, in a fresh change of clothes and see a half naked Charlie kicking and punching the air. 

You grin widely and finish rolling up the sleeves of your button down. You lay on the bed, your fingers running up and down his belly, "Hi handsome." You lean down and kiss the tip of his nose. 

"Hey baby, how was your shower?" Niall comes up behind you and sits on the bed. You shift so your resting somewhat in his lap, your hand resting on his thigh. 

"Perfect, thank you." You turn your face up to him and kiss under his chin. 

"You missed." He pouted and put his lips on yours, "Much better. Isn't that right Charlie-boy?" He leaned forward and let Charlie grab his finger. You smiled softly and left one hand on Niall's knee, letting Charlie grab your finger as well. 

"Is this is what parenthood is about?" You sigh happily, not taking your eyes off of Charlie. 

"No. It's about teamwork and us growing together and becoming better parents fer him." He kissed the top of your head. 

You nod slightly, "It's all about teamwork." You say softly.

Charlie let out a soft coo and you smiled widely. Niall grinned as well, "See, our little Craic agrees as well!"

You and Niall sat that way for awhile, Charlie holding onto your guy's fingers, your hand firmly gripping Niall's knee. Simply admiring the little man that had stole your hearts. 


	3. A Blow Job to Feel Better

__   


He had come home, tense and upset. Doors were slammed, curse words flew from his mouth as he stomped around. 

You had tried to calm him down, but that seemed to only cause him more irritation. 

"Fer godsake! Leave me alone! I jus'-I don' wanna talk about it!" He slammed yet another door. 

"Niall! You yelling and cursing at me to stop trying to comfort you is not going to help anything!" You yelled back. "I wasn't asking you to talk about it!" You said quietly. 

He opened the door and gave you a look. "Really?" 

You pushed your way into the room, shoving him against the wall. 

"Bloody hell?" He grumbled. 

You got onto your knees, your fingers fumbling with his belt. 

"Y/N-no, it's-" His words were cut off by a sharp intake of breath when you gripped him. 

You move your hand up and down slowly, "I fucking told you that I wasn't trying to talk to you about it, I was trying to relax you." 

He nodded, his eyes watching you, chewing on his lip. 

You kissed the tip of his dick, your tongue flicking out. 

A hiss came from Niall and all you could do is smirk, "You all right Ni?"

There was a slight nod before he shut his eyes closed. 

Your hand begins to pump a bit faster, you spit a bit in your hand to add lubricant. 

"Shit..." He groaned out. 

You smile softly, "Does that feel good?" You whisper, your hand moving faster. 

"Y-yeah." He nods, his eyes opening to meet yours. 

You bite your lip and raise your brow. Not taking your eyes off of his, you slowly bring your mouth down onto the head of his dick, sucking softly, running your tongue around it. 

His hips bucked forward, trying to have have more of him in your mouth. You pull away from him, "Patience."

Niall groans in frustration and you bring your mouth back onto his head. You're sucking hard and keeping your hand moving up and down his length, tightening your hand as you go. 

"Fuck." He pants out. 

You gradually take more and more of him into your mouth until he hits the back of your throat. 

You gag slightly and he moans out, "Fuck, love it when ya choke." 

You take a slight breath before hollowing your cheeks and sucking hard, your head bobbing. 

Niall knots his hands in your hair, his hips starting to move forward in rhythm with your bobbing, "Fuck baby, dat feels so good."

You suck harder, your teeth grazing your his dick slightly. 

 _"Oh fuck."_ Niall moans, his hands guiding your head to go a bit faster, trying to draw himself over the edge.

Your hand comes up to massage his balls gently, wanting him to cum. To go over the edge. 

" _Oh. Oh fuck!"_  He gasped out, his head going back, eyes fluttering shut. His hips moving forward, pushing your head further down onto his dick. 

Niall began to cum into your mouth and you swallowed every drop. You pulled off with a pop, you ran your thumb along your bottom lip, cleaning up your mouth a little bit. 

He leaned up against the wall, breathing heavily. "Whoa..." 

You smile and lean back, resting on your heels. "How's my favourite man doing?" Your eyes search his. 

Niall smooths your hair out, "A lot better, thank ya baby." He leans down and kisses your forehead. "I love ya." He helps you up. 

"I love you, even when you're pissed off at the world. You don't need to take it out on me..." You wrap your arms around his waist. 

"I'm sorry baby." He kisses your forehead, "Lemme repay the favour  _and_  make it up ta ya." He brought his lips down to yours, kissing you roughly. He scooped you up and put you down onto the bed. 

He began to tug your jeans off...


	4. Autumn Dates

There was a fervent knock on your door and you hurry out to answer it, not knowing who could be at your flat. 

You peek through the peephole, a wee bit wary, since you and Niall started to become a bit more public about your dating the paparazzi have found you. They have been keeping close watch on you, annoyingly enough. Not only that, you weren't dressed for the paparazzi. You had your hair pulled up into a sloppy bun, sweats, overly large jumper that was Niall's, and no make up.

But it wasn't some guy  pointing a camera at the door. It was your blonde tipped, Nando's loving, pale, Irish man. 

Niall Horan. 

And he was looking ever so hot. His white tshirt fit him well, he had a grey zip up jumper and black beanie on with just a swoop of blonde hair sticking out. Finished off with a nice pair of black skinny jeans. 

You open the door quickly, a huge grin painted onto your face, "Hi handsome!"

"Hey beautiful." He kisses your forehead.  

"Ni-"

"Hush, ya look beautiful. As ya always do. And yer look rather sexy in dat jumper." He leans down and presses a light kiss to your lips. 

"Thank you." You say softly. You shut the door after him, "I don't mean to be rude, but why are you hear?" 

He laughs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you down onto the couch, "Well, Y/N, I wanted ta surprise ya wit a date, but I couldn't surprise ya completely because I knew ya would wanna get ready…" He smiles softly at you, cuddling up to you. 

You run your fingers through his soft hair with a slight nod, "You're so thoughtful."

He hums softly, "Well, go get ready!" He taps your bum lightly and you giggle as you run off to your room. 

You decid on blue skinny jeans, brown boots that went to your knee, a cream coloured jumper with an orange scarf. You fix your hair into loose waves and go with a natural look with make up. You grab your purse and exit your room. 

"How do I look?" You turn in a circle for him. 

"Perfect." He comes up to you and presses a light kiss to your lips. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You bite his bottom lip and pull at it slightly. 

He hisses and wraps his arms around your waist. 

He pulls you so you were pressed up against him and your fingers move to knot in his hair, tugging at it. 

Niall breaks the kiss, "Love, I have a date planned ya know." 

You blush and nod. 

He kisses your forehead and intertwines your fingers with his. "Let's go. Der's an event that is going on so hopefully all the paps will be there and leave us alone."

You nod , "Okay." You kiss the back of his hand, knowing if they all started crowding you and Niall, he would get anxious and you didn't like knowing that he was feeing stressed. 

He leads you down to his Range Rover and opens the door for you, helping you up into it. 

"Thanks." You say, buckling your seat belt. 

He gets in and kisses your cheek, "Ready?"

"Always." You say with a grin, you put your hand on his thigh as he starts to drive. 

"Where are we going?" You ask excitedly. 

"It's a surprise love." He smirks and glances at you. 

After a bit, you find yourself in farm land and not near anything you know of. "Ni?"

He puts the Rover in park and takes your hand as you get out. 

You see a giant sign, "Pumpkin Patch".

"Really?" I say, squealing. 

He wraps an arm around you, "Yes!" 

You two walk into the pumpkin patch, there are a lot of little kids around and you look at him, "We should have brought Theo." You kiss his cheek. 

"Dat's all right, Greg took him all ready." He smile and kissed you softly. "Thanks fer thinking of him."

"Of course. Now which one are we going to get?" You bite you lip and look at all the different pumpkins. 

"The biggest, orangeiest, roundest, most perfect pumpkin!" He declared, he started to wander about the patch and you did the same. You two split up. 

"Ni, what about this one?" You call out. 

Niall shakes his head, "No. Too oval!"

You nod and keep looking. 

"Y/N, what about dat one?" He points to one across the field, when you see it you meet his eyes and nod seriously. 

"Think ya got it babe!"

You both race over to the pumpkin. 

"I think this is it." You say, looking at him. 

"I think you're quite right."

You go to lift it and fall back on your bum and Niall laughs his loud happy laugh and you roll your eyes.  "Ha, ha mister. If we could get some help with it." You say seriously before winking and giggling. 

Niall lifts it with ease and you put your hand on his back, "You're so strong."

He winks at you, "O'course I am." 

You and Niall load the pumpkin in the back of the Rover and Niall goes to pay for it. 

"All right sweetie, we're going to go back to yer flat and we are going to carve it and make pumpkin seeds and make it super spooky."

You sigh and lean against the seat, "Of course we will. Don't forget the scary movies either Mr. Horan."

"Of course not baby. How could I?"

* * *

 

You two are curled up on your couch, a scary film playing. Your jack-o-latern on your porch. You and Niall are snacking on pumpkin seeds.

"I love you, Niall. Thank you for such a fun date." You glance over at him.

"You're welcome. Thank ya for letting me take ya." He leans over and kisses you gently.  "This Halloween is gonna be the best yet…" Niall speaks softly. 

You nod, "Of course, we are together, how could it not be?" 

He shrugs and brings his lips back to yours. 


	5. It's Just A Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This IS triggering in regards to Self Harm! Please do not read if you are triggered!!

The flashes were going off  constantly. They blinded you, even with sun glasses. You kept your head down, but no matter what you did the flashes still disoriented you. 

You whimpered softly and the body guard did his best to push them away but they were still in your face. Screaming at you about the dirty lie that had started that you were cheating on Niall. 

Nothing had been farther from the truth. You had had lunch with a male friend that was  _gay._  Niall knew about it because he had asked what your plans were and your plans were that day.  _And_ you had checked if he was okay with you seeing your friend.

You thought you wore large enough glasses, your hat down low enough, the collar on your shirt had been popped up, and you went to a random café to merely catch up with a friend that you went to college with. 

"Is it true that Niall and the other man got into a fight over you?"

"How could you do that to Niall?"

These questions weren't anything compared to what was being said on the social media websites. How much of a slut, whore, how undeserving and ungrateful I am… 

You are put into the back of the Range Rover and they take you straight to Niall's house. 

You enter the quiet house and bite your lip, feeling the entirely unworthy and entirely broken. 

Depression was something you struggled with for awhile, but since Niall, it was easier to suppress it.

Even then… With the sunshine that he seem to bring with him everywhere he went- you couldn't always manage to hide the depression. 

Especially after this whole "scandal" that is taking place. 

You're depression started plaguing you and taking over your mind. 

Self harm came to mind quite often these days. These paps were getting uglier and meaner and more hurtful. 

"Baby… just ignore it." Was all that Niall had to say in regards to the situation. Niall didn't really know how badly it hurt nor how much you were suffering. He really didn't know that because you hid it and you hid it well. 

But how could you ignore it? It was on the talk shows, every magazine, and you had people following you asking questions. 

It was a constant. 

You go to the kitchen and sit at the bar for a moment, your head resting in your hands. 

The tiny voice in your head whispered to you,  _Do it. A couple little ones_.  _No one will know._  

You were familiar with this voice, it was your best friend and your worse enemy. 

After a few moment of silence you force yourself to stand up, heading for the bathroom. 

You looked for your razor, knowing that you could break it open and take the blades. 

Or you could burn-no. That wasn't an option anymore. You swore that off. Cutting… not so much. 

You glanced at your watch. Niall wasn't supposed to be home for at least two hours. More than enough time. 

After a moment you grab your razor and break it open carefully. Five little blades fell out of the plastic and you took all of them back to your room, throwing away the plastic. 

You shut the door and put on music. For some reason, your clothes are becoming suffocating. It's much too hot, they are causing you to feel trapped. 

The clothes came off so you were only in your bra and thong. You laid on top of the white, down comforter against the pillows. You dropped four of the five blades into your bedside table. 

You chew on your lip for a moment before sitting up. Your hands shake slightly as you trace your thighs lightly, causing red stripes of blood to come up. You did six even stripes on either leg. 

The blood dripped down your leg and all you could do was watch. After a moment, you did the same to your stomach, making them a bit deeper. 

Sighing, you lay back onto the bed, feeling the blood trace your body. 

Holding up the razor again you slice your wrist. Just the one. You do so quickly and evenly. 

Tears traced down your face, before you know it you are sobbing. 

After a few moments you calm down and find the exhaustion from the day is becoming overwhelming. 

You fall asleep, snuggled into the comforter. 

"What in da bloody hell is this?" Niall says as he walks into the bedroom. 

You jerk awake, "Hi baby." You say brightly, not entirely remembering that you were almost naked and covered in cuts. 

"Don't 'hi baby' me what in da bloody fuck happened ta ya?" His eyes were round with disbelief, searching yours. 

You wave a dismissive hand, "Oh nothing."

His eyes searched the room, his eyes fell on the blood stained comforter and saw the razor, "Y-ya… ya did dis ta yerself?" Niall bit his lip. 

You don't meet his eyes, you bring your knees up to your chest. 

"Answer me!" He yelled. 

You close your eyes and nod, "I did." You voice was small. 

"Oh my god." His hand ran through his hair frustratingly. "Why, why would ya do dat?" Niall's voice broke. 

Your eyes opened in surprise, "Niall, it's just a cut."

He frowned, "No they aren't, 'just cuts'. Ya did dis ta yerself on purpose. Why? And I want an answer." He crossed his arms. 

You kept your eyes closed and you felt a single tear trace down your cheek. "I couldn't take it anymore." You finally open your eyes and meet his. "I am sorry Niall."

"Sorry?" Niall scoffed, "What're  _ya_  sorry for? There is obviously some things that we need ta talk about 'ere!" He sat on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands, "Was dis my fault?"

You crawl to him and put your hands on his shoulders, "No, no, baby. This isn't your fault, not in the slightest. This was all me." You rest your head on his shoulder. 

He glances at  you and you're shocked to see tears in his eyes. 

"No, don't cry Ni…"

disY/N, I-I love ya and I am here for ya. I shoulda been here fer ya when dis happened. I wasn't. H-has this happened before?" His voice was soft, tears escaping his eyes. 

You chew your lip, "Might as well come out with it now." You take a deep breath and explain everything. Everything from your depression, to the burning and cutting, and finally to the current situation. 

"All you would say was, 'Just ignore it' and Niall…" You sigh deeply, "It doesn't work that way." 

Niall nods, "I'm so sorry. If I knew dat or really any of dis, dis could have been avoided." He bit his lip and shook his head. 

"Niall, honest, there would have been nothing you could have done I-"

"Stop sayingdatthat! That's not true! If I just could have-"

"We are just arguing over this now, do you realize this?" You search his eyes, your hands resting on his cheeks. 

He nodded, "Baby, I am so sorry. I love ya and I want ya ta be able ta talk ta me about dis. I am seriously gonna deal with dis. We're gonna ta deal with dis together." 

You nod slightly, "Okay…" 

His eyes searched your eyes and you sighed in relief. You knew he wasn't questioning you, nor was he angry nor judging. The look in his eyes was still one of adoration. "How often does dis happen?" His voice was quiet. 

"This was the first time in a long time Niall, I swear." You kiss his cheek. 

Tears started to trail down his face, "Y/N, I only want-" He took a deep breath, "I only want da best fer ya. I shoulda been direct and acted on dese things when I saw how dis affected ya."

You sigh and wipe the tears from his cheeks, "Don't. I am not the one that needs to be comforted in this." You search his bloodshot eyes, the blue in his eyes standing out. 

He takes you in his arms and holds you. You find yourself starting to cry again and he tightens his hold on you. "It's okay baby. Yer gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay." Niall rocked you slowly back and forth. 

You eventually finish crying and you look up at Niall, he pushes his hair out of your face, "Yer beautiful baby." He laid you on the bed, he kissed your wrist then moved to kiss your stomach and upper thighs. "Dis is merely another swerve in our relationship. I love ya. So much." 

You nod, tearing up, "I love you." You cuddle into his side, face pressing in his neck. 

He starts humming, his hand running up and down your back to relax you. Your eyes drifted shut and he kissed your forehead. 

Niall pulled the covers over you and sat on the edge of the bed, his head in hands. He felt like a failure. Failure as a boyfriend, friend, and your lover. 

He shifted to look at you, loving how serene you looked. He went to the window and contemplated on what to do, there had to be something. 

You go to snuggle into him but he wasn't there, you sit up, "Niall, come to bed please."

He jumps and goes to you, pulling off his shirt and jeans. He gets into the bed with you. You snuggle into him and wrap your arms firmly around him. Niall holds you to his chest and kisses your forehead. 

You sigh and relax against him. You close your eyes and he starts to hum. You laid there until you knew he was asleep. 

You knew how upset Niall was about this, you traced his facial features gently. "I love you more than you know silly man." You snuggled into him and closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep. 

You both knew in the morning that this would be discussed and things would change  with the two of you for the better. 

It may have been just a cut, but it was so much 

 


	6. You'll See

Niall had been begging to start trying for a baby for the last few months and you just-you weren't terribly ready for that yet. You enjoyed the married life with just the two of you.

"Baby, please." He begs, searching your eyes. "We've been married for a few years now. I just want one or two." Or three, or four, or five, but he wasn't going to say  _that_  out loud. 

You just shake your head, "Niall, I am not ready yet." You say simply. 

He pouts, "But babe-" 

"But babe nothing!" You kiss him, "I need to get ready for work." 

Niall pouts further, "Fine. You'll see honey." 

You laugh and walk towards your guys' room. 

He smirked to himself because Niall had his own plans. 

As you were leaving you kissed him goodbye, "Bye love have a good day!" You call out as you go out the garage. 

Niall waited thirty minutes after you left and pulled out the bag that he had hidden. In the bag were a bunch of baby clothes that he had picked up.  Both boy and girl clothes. 

He hid them all throughout the house, knowing you'll find them eventually. 

You came home, exhausted and laid on the couch, "Home." You called out quietly. 

 Niall came in with two cups of tea, "For my favourite girl." He kisses your forehead and 

hands you the cup of tea. 

Tied to the cup was a baby blue pacifier. You give him a look, "Really?" You stick your tongue out at him. 

He shrugged and laughed softly.

You drink your tea and stand up, "I am going to shower, would you like to join me?" You straddle his lap. 

"I would baby, but management called and I have to go to something tonight with the lads. But I should be home my eleven or so." He grips your hips tightly, holding you to him. 

You out, but nod, "All right, I guess I'll see you later." You kiss him hard and bite his lip as you pull away. 

"Not fair when you tease!" He calls out to you as you go to the shower. 

Niall waited by the door for a moment. 

You strip down for and step into the walk into the  shower. 

As you turn the knob there are baby swim trunks and when you straighten there is a little one piece bathing suit. 

"NIALL JAMES HORAN!" You yell out in frustration and humour. 

This was going to go on for awhile. 

Niall laughed to himself as he heard you scream and left for work. 

You got out of the shower and had the towel wrapped around you. You pulled on Niall's t-shirt and a thong. 

You go to the bathroom to blow dry your hair. You opened the drawer and there was a little dress was resting over your hair dryer. 

With a sigh you shake your head and put the dress aside. 

You finish up with your hair and go lay in bed and when you pull the sheets back, two sets of footie jammies are waiting for you. You roll your eyes but can't keep the smile from your face. 

These jammies were so cute. One looked like a little lion and the other was all pink. 

You also set these aside and laid in bed thinking for awhile. 

What was truly keeping from you wanting to starting a family.  _Sex life goes down the drain, it all becomes about the child, it must be hard being married to a pop star-it will only get harder when the youngens get in the picture._ All the voices that told you this repeatedly start to filter through your mind. 

You frown and cover your eyes. You were scared. And that was that. 

You knew that they would be protected no matter what, that they would never go without. That was not the problem though, it was everything else. The children being papped,  _that_  could present a safety issue. Would your and Niall's marriage start to become all about the children? You didn't want that. You wanted your husband and you wanted to have your husband wanting you. 

But was it really that fair that you shut Niall down so hard when he so desperately wanted children? You knew there were going to be a lot more clothes through the house. 

Sleep wasn't going to happen anytime soon. You lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what would be best for both of you. 

Did you want children? Oh god, yes. How could you not reproduce with such a beautiful man? 

You sigh deeply and groan loudly. "Guess we are going to start trying." You whisper into the darkness, knowing no one is listening but you. 

Niall walked through the garage door and went straight up to the room. He strips down to his boxers and crawl into bed. 

 His arms wrap around you tightly and he presses his body against your back, his nose brushing your neck. He presses a light kiss to the back of your neck, "I love you. G'night." His eyes fluttered shut and fell asleep, wrapped around you. 

The alarm goes off and both you and Niall groan and you cuddle into him. 

"I don't want to get up." You mumble. 

"Me either." His voice is thick with sleep. 

You both sigh and turn off the alarm and you tangle your leg with his. 

After an hour or so, you woke up again, "Breakfast?" You ask quietly. 

"Sounds good."

You both roll out of bed and stretch and make your way towards the kitchen.

Niall starts the coffee and you start the eggs. 

He comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?" You turn around and wrap your arms around his neck. 

"Perfect." Niall smiles and leans down and kisses your lips briefly. 

"I love you." You say softly. 

"And I," He kisses the tip of your nose, "Love you."

He sets the table and you dish the plates for both of you. You reach into the medicine cabinet and grabbed your pack of birth control. 

Niall saw you do so and let out a soft, sad sigh to himself. 

You sit at the table with the pack in your lap. 

After eating for awhile you clear your throat. 

He glances up at you, his brow coming up. 

"I-uh-I have been doing some thinking." You say quietly. 

He frowns slightly, "Yeah?"

"I think we should try for a baby." You say quietly, your eyes glued to table. 

"Wait, what?" His brow raised. 

You took a deep breath, "I think, I should go off birth control and we should stop using condoms and we should try to start a family." You glance up and meet his eyes with a soft smile. 

"Really?" He grinned widely. 

You nod, "Yes, really." You show him the birth control pack and stand up and go to the sink. Popping them out and dropping them down the drain. 

Niall gets up quickly and picks you up in a tight hug. He sits you on the counter and presses his lips hards against yours. 

You moan softly, wrapping your legs around his waist and knotting your hands in his hair. 

"We are going to try." He said as he broke the kiss, kissing down your neck, "Let's try now."

He carried you to the kitchen table and pushed the dishes aside. 

You tear off the tshirt that you're wearing and he snaps the thin lace straps of your thong. 

Trying for a baby was the last thing on your mind. 

Niall. It was only Niall. How he planned on fucking you. How it was going to feel. Not the fact that you skipped birth control this morning. Not the fact that you would have, hopefully, a small blonde chubby chid running everywhere. 

He pulled off his boxers and spread your legs widely. His fingers trailed over your wet opening, "God, you're all ready so wet for me." 

You moan softly and he teases your entrance with the head of his dick. 

"Ni, please." You beg. 

Niall leans down and sucks roughly on your nipple. 

"Shit." You gasp. 

He slowly starts to slide into you, "Fuck, you're so tight." He moans softly. 

You let out a whimper of pleasure as he pushes into completely. 

Niall doesn't waste anytime in moving in and out of you, his thumb massaging your clit gently. 

Moans and whimpers grow louder from you. You force your eyes to stay open and you meet Niall's eyes. 

The raw lust in his eyes made you shiver. You knew that you were the only thing on his mind. 

Niall groaned out as you met his eyes. He saw the loving nature of your eyes, however with every thrust going deeper than before, they began glaze over. 

Watching that happen only pushes him to go harder and wanting to make you cum. 

He angles his thrust just so it's hitting your spot and you start to tighten around him. You start to scream out his name and that makes him go harder. 

You vision blurs and the pleasure takes over, "F-fuck, Niall!" You moan out, your words breathless. 

Niall starts to go harder and you sit up slightly, "God, yes Ni. You're so big, cum for me baby." You egg him on, wanting him to cum as well. 

You recognize that face and he thrust deeply once and moans out your name loudly. "Shit." He gasps out, his thrust slowing down exponentially. 

He pulls out and you sit up completely, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

"That was amazing." You whisper. 

"Thanks." He kisses your neck softly. "Are we really going to be trying for a baby now?" There is a soft, exhausted smile on his face. 

"Yeah. I want to have your babies." You say softly, kissing his lips softly. 

Niall smiles and nuzzles your neck, "I'm glad."

"Me too." You worries and fears were still there, but the happiness you felt with him right now outweighed those. 


	7. Something About the First Snowfall 1/5

You woke up around one in the morning- _freezing_ , understandably so since you were just wearing his tshirt. Niall’ arms were loosely wrapped around you, your teeth were chattering from how chilly it was. Your eyes went to the window near your guys' bed. You sigh softly, there was nothing but stars, not even a cloud in site.  

Winter was closing in on the little town of Mullingar. The temperature dropping but still no snow, it was surprising how late in the year it was that there was no snow.

 You snuggle closer to Niall and pull the covers tight around the two of you. Your eyes staying glued to the window, wishing for snow. After a bit though, you felt your eyelids growing heavy. Just when the sleep was about to overcome you, you saw white little puffs coming from the sky. 

You get out of the bed and padding to the window and watching in an admirable silence. Yes, you had seen snow before but there was nothing like the first snowfall. 

You press your fingertips against the window glass, smiling as the little flakes made it to the ground. 

Niall felt you get out of bed but didn't move, thinking you were just getting a glass of water, but when you didn't come back to bed he sat up a bit. He admired the way the pale moonlight bathed you. He felt so lucky to have you and you were wearing his favourite thing to see you in, his clothes. He got out of bed and wrapped his arms tightly around you, his head resting on your shoulder. 

You lean into him sigh happily, “Look Niall, the first snowfall of the year. Isn’t there something magical about it?” Your arms rested over his. 

You two sat there for a moment before you turn around to face him. His hair was tousled and sleep was still in his eyes, and he had a soft, loving smile on his face. “I love you Ni, more than you can possibly know.” You moved to your tip toes and brushed your lips against his.

Niall kissed you back and smirked, "Would ya like ta do something in bed?" 

You laugh and raise your brow, "When don't I want to?" 

He leans down and presses his lips forcefully against yours. He gripped your hips and lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around his torso and he carried you to bed. 

Your tshirt was lost on the way to bed as was his boxers. You move so you're in between his legs, slowly pumping him, causing him to harden significantly and let go of filthy moans. After a few moments you take the tip of his dick into your mouth and suck softly. 

Niall moaned loudly and jerked his hips up, and you smirked. You pull away and straddle him. You slowly begin to sink down onto him with a loud moan. 

"Fuck, Ni!" 

He smirked, "Does Daddy feel good?" He gasped softly. 

"Yes." You whine out. 

He spanks you harshly and you moan again as you start to bounce up and down on his dick. 

His fingers dig into your hips as he guides you in your movements, his whimpers turning into moans. 

You start to moan out his name and your moans turn into screams. 

His lets you ride him without guiding anymore and moans at the site of your tits bouncing and him going in and out of you. 

After a moment, he starts to rub your clit causing you to tighten around him and eventually cum, screaming even louder. He sighs as he feels the warmth of your orgasm around him. 

You keep moving to draw his climax out and with a loud grunt and harder thrusts, you feel him cum inside of you. 

He makes you keep bouncing for a moment longer before letting you pull off of him.

You rest on top of Niall, completely breathless. “That was fucking hot.” Your words were gasped out. 

He pulls the covers over the both of you and he kisses your forehead, "Love ya baby."

"I love you Niall." You hid your face in his neck. 

After a moment you both turned to watch the snow fall. As time went on, your breathing began to slow, you were warm in Niall's touch, and frankly, utterly exhausted.

* * *

 

You wake up and Niall was still sleeping. You sat up and hold the covers up to your chest. You looked around the edge of the bed until you fin his t-shirt and pull it on. “If you’re awake-don’t leave the bed.” You whisper to him and kiss his forehead.

You go out to the kitchen and make a biscuit and gravy breakfast for the two of you. Instead of the tea that you usually make for the morning, you make hot chocolate with marshmallows. 

You run to the bed and jump on Niall. He groaned but that soon turned into laughter as you covered him in kisses. "First snow fall! You know what that means?! A snow man!” You kiss him gently, "Stay here, I am going to bring us breakfast." You nip his neck, drawing a gasp from him, before running away.

You two talked softly over breakfast, talking about the other four boys and their girls and the snow and your future together.

After awhile though, you two went to the bathroom for a quick shower.

* * *

 

After getting bundled up in your warmest jackets, gloves, scarves, beanies, and snow boots, you two were ready to go build your annual snow man. 

Niall opened the door for you and you grinned widely at him before kissing in him in thanks.

He intertwined your gloved fingers and lead you down to the front yard. 

"Babe, watch me!" He let go of your hand and jumped in the snow, making a snow angel. 

You giggle and lay next to him, making one too. 

You both stand up and he wraps his arm around you, "Perfect." He kisses your temple. 

You two spend the better part of the afternoon building the snow-man. Just when you were ready to put the snow man together Niall tackled you into the snow. 

You scream out in surprise and laugh loudly, pulling him down to kiss you roughly. You grab a handful of snow and smash it into the side of his face. 

"How dare ya!" He yelled teasingly and kissed you roughly before pinning you to the snow. 

The snow fight lasted for almost thirty minutes before you two end up making out heavily-which needed to stop because, one, you were in the middle of the yard in snow and two, the snow man needed to be finished. 

After laying the snow for a moment to catch your breath, you get up to finish the snow man. 

You watch Niall lift the middle onto the large bottom and you pushed the top to him. "Okay my muscly boy, you got this one too." You giggled and watched him lift it up before turning around and flexing. 

You go up and wrap your arms around him, kissing him roughly, "God, yer so sexy."

He smirks, "Thanks gorgeous."

"So I think we should have sex in front of the fire…" You trail off, your arms around his neck.

"And I t'ink yer right." He smiles and kisses you gently, "But let me make us some tea first, yeah?"

You two start back towards the house, "That sounds wonderful my love. You're so good to me."

"Says the woman that makes me breakfast, loves me unconditionally, and supports me regardless of what I do? You too, are very good to me." He opens the door for you and you two get down to just your jeans and jumpers. 

"Go turn on some music, I'll be in in a moment to start the fire."

You smile and nod and pick soft Christmas, instrumental music to play. You sit on the couch and he comes in to start the fire. 

He sits next to you while he's waiting for the kettle to whistle. 

You snuggle into him and just sit there, staying quiet. After a moment the kettle whistles and he comes back with two mugs of tea and gestures for you to sit in front of the fire with him. 

You do so and there is soft conversation over the tea before you press your lips to his. 

The warmth from him and the tea is on his lips and you sigh happily. 

He wraps his arms tightly around you, "I love ya." 

"I love you." You smile back. 

"If so… WIll ya marry me?" He shifted so he was on his knee and opened a Tiffany Blue box, revealing a beautiful, sparkling ring.

"Yes!" You practically scream, throwing yourself on, your lips on his.


	8. A Tree For A Smile (

"Baby! Will you please hurry, we are going to be late!" Niall walked into the room, adjusting the tie with his white shirt. 

"Niall Horan, this is our  _engagement announcement dinner_  on  _Christmas Eve._  Because  _you_  had to have it then, I said, wait until after the holidays, but noooo, "Baby, no! What else is a betta time than Christmas eve to tell our family?" I believed you." You don't move from the mirror and keep fixing your lipstick before going to your jewelry box to find the diamond earrings and tennis bracelet Niall gave you for Valentine's day. 

You were wearing a knee length, black dress with a deep V in the back of the dress with a bow and the base of the V. You wore the Loubotins  you bought when you two first got together. 

"Y/N you look fine! Can we just, leave! Please?"

"Niall, I will be ready in the next five minutes, I swear it." You put in the earrings and go to him, "Please help me with the bracelet." You gave him puppy eyes. 

"Fine, yes. Okay." His long fingers delicately held the bracelet and clipped it on. 

"Thank you handsome." You caught his hand and held it to your face for a moment, "Now let's go. It's okay, we're fine, it's our party anyways." You say softly.

"But we still haven't gotten a tree or-" Niall starts. 

"Ni, baby, we will get one, it's okay." You take his hand and lead him downstairs to the car. 

* * *

 

"All right, everyone..." Niall stood up and used his knife to tap on his champagne glass. 

You took the ring out of your clutch and slide it on your left hand's finger. 

"Okay, so you know Y/N and I have been together for a long while and I have only grown to love her more and more everyday... With that being said, I very much have intentions of marrying her. And she just happened to have agreed to that notion."

You stand up and look in all the faces of your family and friends and just... Everyone. 

You smiled and kissed his cheek, "So, I said yes when be got on his knee." You look up at him fondly, "And this is basically our engagement party..." 

Everyone cheered and one by one came up to say congratulations. 

Bobby came up and embraced you both, "I am so proud to be able to call you daughter." He hugged Niall, "You picked a good one son." 

Greg and Denise came by with a sleeping Theo and Niall kissed his head. "We are so proud of you two." Denise smiled widely as she spoke. 

Greg shook Niall's hand, "Good job. See you two soon." He winked and they left. 

Your parents were next and were ecstatic. 

After the last people congratulated the two of you, you and Niall hurried to the car. 

"So, Ni, I have a surprise for you." You smiled widely and got in the drivers seat. You start the car and he frowns getting in. 

"You know I like driving..."

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise babe." You wink and drive to a small forest. 

"I put our snow boots in the back, coats, and an axe... Let's go get our Christmas tree." You climb over the back of the seat and squeal when you feel Niall spank you as you climb over. 

You handed him his boots and coat. You pull on your boots in the back and zip up the coat over your dress. "All right handsome." You jump over the seat again. "Are-"

Niall interrupted you with a hard kiss, his hand on your face, "Thank you so much for doing this." 

Since you and Niall got engaged, Christmas just seemed to take the back seat, planning this dinner became the most important thing for the time being. Yes, you had gotten his gift. And yes Niall had gotten yours. 

But decorations, tree, everything... it was all pushed back for the engagement dinner planning. And you knew that it really bummed Niall out. But throughout all of this, you were able to plan on doing this little thing for him. 

"Well, let's go! We need to get a tree!" You got out and immediately your body was over taken by goosebumps, your coat was warm, but the chill went straight to your bones. 

Niall got into the back of the Rover and he sighed, "You even brought a tarp to protect my baby. Thank you." He kissed you gently. 

Of course you knew Niall would freak out to have a sappy, wet pine tree with his leather interior. "I do my best sweetheart."

"You're so thoughtful babe." He picked up the axe and you two went trekking through the snow. 

You two argued multiple different trees. Either it was too big, too full, too small, not full enough. 

"Niall! My tits are going to fall off if we don't pick one." You whine. 

"Y/N! As much as I love your tits, we need a great tree…" 

"Niall James." You growl.

"Okay, okay." He hurried his steps and came across a tree, "How's this baby?" He grinned at you. 

"Perfect Ni, just hurry." You were jumping up and down to try and get warm. 

As you watch him chop, you are oddly turned on. Every grunt from him hitting the tree with the axe, to him panting from dragging the tree… It was all incredibly sexy. 

You help him load the tree up as well as you can before getting in, letting him drive. You turn the heat on high and shiver in your seat until you feel yourself get warm. 

Niall was grinning and singing Christmas carols on the way home. You kept your hand on his thigh, happy with how happy he was. 

"Okay, okay. Let's go set it up." He kissed your cheek and ran inside. You laugh and get out, pulling down the tree decorations from the garage and bring them inside. 

Niall is dressed in a jumper and jeans and just socks. He runs back out and goes to the car, bringing the tree inside. 

You help him centre the tree and you say you're going to go change. He pulls out the lights and nods, "Yeah, okay, I'll be here." 

"Will you start a fire Ni?" You say as you walk up the stairs. 

"Yeah, yeah, of course babe." He says distractedly. 

You dig in your lingerie drawer for the fun Christmas lingerie you bought for him. It was Christmas themed with bells on it and on the bottoms. You put it on and put your hair down and pulled on one of Niall's longer jumpers and knee high socks. [[x](https://dm.victoriassecret.com/product/404x539/V417069.jpg)]-ignorethemodel

You went down stairs and sat on the couch, "Babe, the tree looks great." You smile at the lights on the tree. 

"Just a few ornaments." He mumbled and you cross your legs.

"Can I help?" You ask, standing up, jingling a bit. 

He looks over at you, "Oh, honey you look so cozy." He hands you a few ornaments and you start to hang them up. 

"Y/N, are you... are you jingling?" He looks to you and you hold deadly still. 

"No." You lie but can't keep the smirk off your face.

"Why are you jingling princess?" He smirks and comes up to you and puts his hands on his waist, "What are you wearing under that?"

"Nothing." You shake your head and force the smile off your face. 

Niall raised his brow and set aside the Christmas ornaments he was holding and carefully took yours out of your hand. 

You ran away, jingling the entire time screaming when he starts to chase you. 

"WHY ARE YOU JINGLING, ARE YOU THE CHRISTMAS SEX GODDESS?" He yells, slipping in his socks. You run back into the living room and he tackles you onto the couch. "YOU'RE JINGLING AND I NEED TO KNOW WHY!" He demands and pulls up the jumper. "Aw, baby." He grips your boobs and shakes them slightly, "I love it." His eyes went down to the ties on your panties and ruffled them as well, laughing softly. "Did you wear this for me?"

"Of course I did, I had to do it for my man who loves that loves Christmas so… That's why." You smile and cup his cheek and he kisses you softly. 

"Would you mind just wearing that while we finish the tree?" He asks softly, with a giant smile. 

"Of course." You push him off of you gently. You pull his jumper off and toss it to the side. He looks you up and down when you do so and meets your eyes. 

"You are so sexy." He nods and hands you the Christmas ornaments again. 

You and Niall finish the tree within the next hour or so. There was soft Christmas on and you were jingling with every move. 

"Baby, before we put the star on I want to sing you a song and for you to help me sing it…" He smirks. 

"Okay?" You raise your brow. 

"Ready?"

"Ready."

" _Jingle bells, jingle bells…"_  He starts, giving you a slight look, "You're not helping."

You laugh and shake your head, "Start over."

" _Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way."_

With every "jingle" you shimmy for him. He bites his lip before starting up again and starting the song over. 

"Okay, okay, that was awesome, and your tits look great when you shimmy." He nods. 

"Well, that's nice and all, but Ni, I would like to put on the star so we can have hot, in front of the fire sex." You give him a suggestive look. 

His eyes widen, "Oh yes, of course." He hands you the star and he grips your hips, "Ready?"

"Ready." You grinned and did a little jump so he could lift you up. 

You put it on and you stand away from it to look, "It looks great, what do you think?"

"I think it looks perfect." He murmurs and looks to you, "Thank you again sweetheart."

"You're welcome." You smile softly and wrap your arms around his neck. 

He brings his lips down to yours and you slowly go up to your tip toes. 


	9. Plus Signs on Christams

 

You lay with your head on Niall's bare chest and Niall's arms loosely wrapped around you. Soft snores come from you both. Sex had been wild and basically all over the house. After that you and Niall had only managed to put the presents under the tree before collapsing in bed, utterly exhausted. 

Niall wakes up first, stretching in his spot and tightening his arms around you, "Baby girl…" He murmurs kissing your forehead. 

You whimper and press your face harder into his chest. 

"Princess, it's Christmas, wake up." He plays with your hair and you sigh. 

"Happy Christmas handsome." You say sleepily, yawning.

"Happy Christmas beautiful." He says in return, chuckling as you yawn, "You're so cute." He smiles softly. 

You giggle, "Thanks baby." You put your head back on his chest and sigh happily, "Would you like me to make hash browns and bacon for breakfast?"

"With Irish morning?"

"Of course."

"I would love that, I'll build the fire?"

"Yeah." You nod and kiss his chest, "What time are we going to Denise's?"

"Around two-thirty, your mum and dad going?"  He glances down at you. 

"Yes, but we are leaving with them to have dessert with my grandparents, remember?" You raise your brow. 

"How could I forget?" He scoffs. 

"You tend to do so on occasion." You say softly, teasing him. 

"Babe, that was like, ONE time!" He pouts. 

You move upwards to kiss his lips, "Twice actually, but who's counting?" You giggle and sit up, "Shit, I am sore." You groan as you stretch out your legs. 

Niall smirks, "Did we go too hard?" His brow came up. 

"No. Not even." You raise your brow in return. 

You stand up and stretch, Niall's jumper riding up a bit so the bottom of your bum was on display and Niall whistled softly, "What I love seeing first thing in the morning." He winks. 

"I thought it was these." You lifted up your jumper to show him your chest and he moans softly. 

"Yes, I lied, those are." 

"I bet you got coal in your stocking for lying just then Mr. Horan." You pulled the jumper back down. 

He pouted, "Well future Mrs. Horan, I just like all of you and get distracted easily, okay?"

"Well-" Your witty remark was lost as a wave of nausea came over you. "Bloody fuck." You ran to the bathroom and threw up a little into the toilet and moaned, throwing up a bit more. 

Niall got out of bed when you ran to the bathroom, holding your hair back, his hand rubbing your back soothingly. 

"You okay?" His voice was soft and concerned. 

You sat there for a moment longer, the nausea passed. You nodded, "Yeah, that was so weird. Let's go make breakfast and open our gifts." You stood up and brushed your teeth.

"Babe, we don't-"

"Niall, I am okay, let's go." You kissed him and honestly you still felt a bit nauseous but nothing that wasn't manageable..

"A-all right, if you're sure my princess." He bit his lip and lead you downstairs. You went to the kitchen to start breakfast and Niall built the fire. 

As the smell of bacon and hash browns formed another wave of nausea came over you and you barely made it to the sink. 

"What in the bloody hell is going on?" You murmur to yourself. What did you have to eat at the dinner last night… Your mind went through the food-you had the same thing as Niall, so it couldn't have been food poisoning. Unless…

You shook your head, you couldn't be, you've been on birth control for  _years_  now. But the nausea that came out of nowhere… You chewed on your lip and finished breakfast for Niall and made yourself a fruit smoothie to drink because it didn't smell repulsive. 

"Ni, baby, breakfast!" You called out, pouring hot water into two mugs for yourself and Niall. 

He came in with a grin before frowning, "Only one plate?" He looked to you. 

You nod slightly, "Yeah… Still a bit nauseous is all." You smile and peck his lips gently, "Let's go eat in front of the fire."

Niall frowns slightly and still follows you. You sat next to him, your head resting against his shoulder. 

You sip at your smoothie and Niall starts to eat, "Babe, these are so good! Want a bite?" 

You bite your lip, hash browns and bacon is your favourite but with all of this nausea… "No Ni, it's okay. Thanks though."

You started doing the math in your head, you've been on birth control for years, you knew that there were the placebo pills… You should have had a period. 

Twice. 

 _Oh god_. You felt the blood drain from your face. Why-why didn't you remember that-oh god. "Niall…" You say in a broken whisper. You two weren't even married yet! It would be a shot gun wedding!

He glances over you and shifts to sit in front of you, "What is it?"

"I haven't had my period for two months." You whisper, your eyes shifting to meet his. 

"Well, you're on the pill." He says like it's obvious. 

"No, Ni, with the pill plan I am on, I get a light period for a week then it goes away. I haven't gotten one in a couple months now." You say seriously, "And I am nauseous out of nowhere? And the smell of bacon, which I love, is repulsive? I think I'm pregnant." 

Niall went through several emotions in that small span of sitting there. Confusion, fear, anger, surprise, happiness, and ended on joy. "Well, should I get someone to bring us a pregnancy test?" He asks, a soft smile on his face, 

"Please." You say, no smile on your face. 

You and Niall hadn't even been able to enjoy the married life or much of life just life being together. And here you two were, adding another person to your life. 

Niall springs up and makes a call to one of his "people" to bring you a pregnancy test for today.

*                    *                   *

You were staring into the fire, the presents unopened, your smoothie melted, Niall's food gone cold. Niall wasn't able to sit still, he kept walking around the house smiling and whooping. 

"So if it's a girl, Lily is a good name, yeah?" He grinned to himself, "I like the name Charles for a boy, what do you think babe?" He looked over to you.

"Sounds great." You murmur softly, your eyes not shifting from the fire. 

"Babe-"

Tom knocked on the door and Niall hurries to the door, "Tom! Happy Christmas!"

"Happy Christmas to the papa to be!" He handed to grocery bag over and Niall hugged him. 

"All right, go love on your wife and grandkids, you have the rest of the day off."

Niall handed you the pregnancy tests with a large smile, "Here you go my love." You nod and do not say more than two words to him as you start to go to the bathroom. 

"Y/N, wait, what's wrong baby?" Niall stopped you, his hands going to hold yours. "You've been quiet all morning and not nearly as excited…"

You nod slightly, "Niall, I'm fine-"

"Don't feed me that bull shit, what's wrong?" Niall moved to put his hands on your hips and pulled you to him. 

You lean forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, face burying in his chest. You know your tears are soaking through his shirt but don't care, "I-I don't want to be pregnant yet Niall."

His hands are rubbing up and down your back, "Why?"

"Because having a baby means we can't really enjoy our life together and I'm not ready to be a mum, I'm not ready to be taking on the responsibility of this life, what about my career? What about yours?" You pull away and look up at him with bloodshot eyes and sniffling. "Niall, I'm scared and not ready for this. We aren't even married! The press is going to have a field day with this! What are my parent's going to say, your parents? My nana? It's going-"

Niall interrupted you with a kiss, not a hard and rough one, but one that was gentle, sweet, passionate, and comforting all at the same time. His hands pulled you closer, his lips still perfectly molded to yours. 

He pulled away, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, "Y/N, don't you think I am afraid too? That I haven't thought about all of this?" His piercing blue eyes, that you loved so much, searched yours, "But, honey, I have never wanted a family with anyone more than you… And I am so stoked for it. Our own little brown haired child running around the house, screaming for you and me. I am going to be home on every off day to be here, Denise will help us… You don't need to work and you know that." 

"Ni-"

"I promise it will all be okay and our wedding will be set for February, okay? If you're right, you'll be four months along…"

"Simple math proves I was pregnant before."

"Well, fuck them all to hell, yeah?" He kisses the tip of your nose, "And we don't even know if you're actually pregnant yet. So get in there, piss on the bloody stick and come out and we will deal with whatever we must, and we are going to do it together." He kisses your lips gently, "Go my love."

You nod and go to the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You take the test out with shaky hands and go to the toilet. 

After a moment you stand up and wash your hands, letting the test sit on the counter. 

"Princess, can I come in?" Niall taps on the door lightly. 

"Not yet." Your voice cracks. 

You sit against the tub, tears filling your eyes.  _C'mon, pull yourself together._ You took a deep breath and splashed your face with cold water. You didn't look at the stick and opened the door to see a very nervous looking Niall pacing the floor. 

"Well?" He walks to you, chewing on his upper lip. 

"I-I dunno." You held the stick out for him to see. 

You watch the shift in his face and you knew it. 

"Take a look." He says softly. 

With a deep breath you look at it and your eyes see the little pink plus sign and your stomach to drops in dread and your heart flutters in anticipation and excitement.

"I'm pregnant." The words were foreign coming out of your mouth. Niall whooped in excitement and hugged you before kneeling at your stomach, kissing it. 

"Daddy loves you." He murmurs and looks up at you, "And I love you." 

You run your fingers through his hair, "And I love you."

Niall moves your hand to rest on your stomach. 

"And I love our baby." You say softly. 


	10. A Kiss for the Future

She saw you watching her, but she didn't look over to you. You watched her fidget, the way her leg bounced up and down, the way she picked at her nails, the way her hands would knot in her hair for just a moment and then rake through her unruly hair. 

"Princess, settle down." You grabbed her smaller hands in yours, kissing the back of it. "This is just to make sure."

"But Ni-" 

"But Ni nothing, we will make sure there is a bun in the oven and then we have to catch our flight. In and out." You kissed her cheek and settled next to her.

The, what you were hoping, baby thing had been kept a secret from your family. Yeah, of course she had a few bouts of nausea during the two different Christmas parties that you and she ended up going to. But all of that was manageable. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Horan, we are ready fro your now." The doctor smiled warmly at the two of you and you held her hand firmly as you two walked into the back. Niether of you bothered to correct him, because, she would be your Mrs. soon enough.

 You watched her get onto the table and pull up the hem of her shirt and undo her jeans, pushing them down slightly. 

Your eyes trailed down from her exposed skin down to her jeans that were tight all the way to her ankle that lead to her favourite pair of black heels with the red soles. 

You bit your lip and rest your hand on her knee when the doctor began to rub the goop onto her stomach. You saw her tender flesh break out in goose bumps and you squeezed her leg, smiling warmly and confidently at her. 

Her smile waned slightly and you kissed her knee. The doctor pull out the wand and ran it over her belly, your eyes are glued to the screen. 

The black and white image is fuzzy and you can't see anything. 

"You won't be able to see anything yet, but we are searching for the heartbeat." The doctor smiled softly and paused for a moment. 

You felt her tense and you couldn't help but do the same. 

Your hand tightened and the room was deadly silent, you could hear your own breathing and heart beat in your ears.

Wait-that wasn't  _your_  heartbeat that was-

"Is that the baby's?" Her voice was quiet in awe. 

The doctor nodded, not saying anything. 

You closed your eyes and smiled softly. You let the heartbeat go on. 

The doctor cleared his throat and wiped the goop off of her stomach and helped her sit up. "Okay, so there are going to be a few things that you two are going to have to do, especially you." He nodded to her and you both listened intently as he explained what the diet, exercise, special pills should betaken. Everything. 

* * *

You walked out of the GP's, holding her hand tightly, you didn't say a word, knowing there were always listening ears. 

You two waited until you got into the car before glancing at her, "So, are you feeling any better about this situation since Christmas?"

The two of you haven't really talked about the baby or anything. 

She shrugged, her eyes watching the scenery passing by. 

"Oh for godlike." You growl and pull over. 

You cup her cheek and force her to look at you, "Baby, please talk to me." You wipe the stray tear that started it's way down her face. 

Her big, round eyes searched yours. The glassy nature of them let on more than she was willing to tell you. "Niall, it's the same thing… I just, I just don't know if I am ready is all."

"Baby, baby." You leaned over and kissed her cheek, "We are in this together." You bit your lip. "If-if you want, we can, um, we could abort it." You shifted your eyes towards the window, away from her. 

"Niall James Horan! This is  _our_  baby, one that  _we_  made, I am not just going to get rid of it like that!" She said, anger flaring in her eyes. 

You loved it, the passion she held and the love she did as well. She loved this baby just as much as you did. She was just… scared. 

"Then, Y/N, what's to do about all of this then?" You asked softly, searching her eyes. 

She shifted forward, "We are going to be late for our flight, just, start driving."

With a heavy sigh, you did as she asked of you and chewed the hell out of your lip. 

"We, we are going to not tell anyone we are expecting… just-we will get married, keep it under wraps until I am showing then we will have the baby and figure it out, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay." You say softly, parking at the airport. You didn't want to argue, but you didn't want all of this drama when you had a show in New York for New Year's Eve. 

It was all just, starting to become over-whelming. 

* * *

You kept a firm arm wrapped around her, walking into the airport, heads down, sunglasses on, your snap back low. 

Now that she was pregnant, the closeness of the people could lead to trampling or something bad that could happen to her or the baby. He couldn't have that. 

You two got settled into your first class seats, separated from everyone else. She was resting against your chest, head pressed into your neck. 

You knew that she knew you were somewhat upset, but neither of you addressed it head on. You both were too tired for it now. 

You reached into your pocket for headphones and she stayed close to you. You popped in your headphones and closed your eyes, wrapping your arms around her. 

* * *

_New Year's Eve_

"Are you bloody kidding me Niall?" She said in a harsh tone, slamming the door to the other end of the suite. 

The fights between the two of you were escalating and getting worse with each day that you two spent together. 

This never happened before. 

Well, it  _did_. But not for this long or this intense. 

"I'm fucking leaving, if you go, fucking go. If you don't, fucking don't. I do not care, don't act like going is doing me a bloody favour." You leave, slamming the door behind you. 

She sat in the other room, crying, upset. Whether it be the damned hormones, or the fact that she was legitimately upset, she hated making you upset. 

While you caught the Escalade with the rest of the boys, she waited just a bit longer before dressing in her silver cocktail dress you had gotten especially for her. 

She spent some time on her make up before calling management to make sure to send a car your way. 

Lou spent a bit longer on your hair than usual, mainly because you were venting to her about the entire issue at hand, obviously omitting the fact that you two were expecting. 

But none the less, you and the boys had to go out. All five of you were standing on stage and you searched the crowd for her and just when you thought she wasn't there… She got of the car, her coat wrapped tightly around her, scarf on, and her legs looked amazing. 

You sighed in relief as she made her way to the front as you started to perform. Yes you were still fucking pissed, yes, you weren't planning on partying with her particularly because who knew how she was being. 

When you were done performing, you didn't bother looking for her and went straight to the after party-which you assumed where she would go too. 

She had searched for you though, she waited a tad longer until she noticed everyone leaving. What about the New Year's kiss? She had so much to tell you and so much to just… talk about. 

She slowly made her way back to the car and let it take her to the party you two had RSVP'd for. 

You were a couple beers deep, but feeling awful. You basically had ditched her and the clock was getting closer and closer to midnight. 

The New Year's kiss. 

That was your guys' thing for the last few years now. You start the kiss at 11:59 and end it 12:01. To end the year amazing and to start the year amazing. 

And in love. 

But these feelings now, weren't "in love". They were work, hard, and hurtful. 

All of this apart of a relationship and marriage. 

* * *

 

She started to panic, the clock was at 11:55, and you were nowhere to be seen. She forced her way through the crowds and all of these A-List celebrities and all of the people that just could not get out of the way fast enough and it drove her crazy. 

11:56. You decided to search for her, how could you not do the kiss? That would basically be the world's shittiest thing not to do. 

11:57. Tears pooled in her eyes, no matter how many people she pushed through, no matter how many rooms she went into. You were never there. 

11:58. You were starting to give up and stepped outside to watch the ball. Hopefully, she would forgive, but how could you give up so easily? This is the love of your life, your best friend, the mother to your child and the woman to your everything. With a sigh you turned around to search for her. 

11:59. She went to the balcony in a last ditch attempt and say you. Her heart fluttered and she did not think twice when she went to you. 

She pressed her lips hard against yours, one hand going to the back of your head, her fingers threading in the hair and her other holding the nape of your neck. 

You knew who it was instantly, those lips that were so familiar but gave you a new sensation every time they touched yours. Your hands rested lightly on her ribcage. 

You heard everyone counting down, but you didn't dare break the kiss or open your eyes, the countdown was a three minute thing. For the past, present, and future. 

People cheered and kissed at 12:00 but you two didn't stop. 

Her tongue pressed into your mouth and you massaged your tongue with hers. There was a slight whimper from her. 

She had missed this, you had missed this. This was something that could easily be looked over. ALl of these problems? Discussed and talked out. 

New Year's was about a new year, this year it was about the two of you. 

She rested her forehead against yours, breathing heavily, "I love you Niall, more and more every day and I am sorry."

"And I love you my sweet, beautiful financé, so goddamn much." You nuzzled her cheek, "And I am sorry."

"I'm just-"

"Baby, I'm scared too. So scared, but we can do this. I love you, you love me, we'll be married sooner than later." I smile. 

She nodded slowly, "I am so sorry though. LIke…" She shook her head slightly after a moment. 

"I know my princess, but that was last year and this is this year. That was a kiss for the future." You murmured softly, your hands cupping her cheeks before pressing a light kiss on her lips. 

"I love you." Her eyes closed and she hugged him tightly. 

"I love you." You say quietly, keeping her close, face buried in her hair. 

This year was going to be big. For her, for your, for the two of you, for One Direction. New Year's was about starting new and renewing, and that is one step and and one kiss at a time.


	11. Blue Bundles

"Holy fuck, Niall! It fucking hurts!" You screamed out, your eyes screwing shut. You writhed in the hospital bed, the epidermal not kicking in yet.

Niall held your hand tightly but you squeezed his hand even tighter, your knuckles turning white. The pain was something that was other-worldly. Black dots danced a crossed your vision and you screamed out again as another contraction hit you. 

You arched off the bed and bit your lip.

The doctor came back in, "Okay, we will give her a half dose to see if it  will hurry the process of the anesthetic numbing her."

Niall growled, "Well stop fucking standing there and fucking do something about it."

The doctor paled and nodded. The nurses rolled you on your side and you hissed as the needle went into your lower back.

You still felt the pain in your lower abdomen, but as time went on you couldn't feel the lower half of your body.

Your grip loosened on Niall's hand and you sighed in relief. Niall kissed the back of your hand, "How are you feeling princess?"

He pushed your hair sticking to your face, back. You nodded, still heavily breathing, doing your best to recover from the pain.

"So much better Niall. Thank you." You rested against the bed and Niall kissed your forehead.

After New Years… you and Niall sat down-once you got home in Mullingar of course.

But you two had talked about what the next year would look like, with the baby, with your relationship, work, all of it.

No nannies, you and Niall were firm on that decision. You would put a pause on your career as a journalist because that was more realistic than Niall taking a break from being in the boy band, obviously. But that didn't make your break any easier, but once he was able to go to school, you'd go back part time.

Little Robert Charles Horan needed at least one parent home. Niall told you he would be home in between every concert if he was able to do it and go about doing it.

Your hand rested on your stomach, Robert was only a week late, but it was a week that kept Niall on edge.

Niall would barely let you get out of bed, he hated it when you tried to do anything in regards to bending over, picking anything more than two pounds up, and stretching too much. He had hired a special dietitian for you and the baby and eventually a special private trainer so you wouldn't gain too much baby weight.

Even though he insisted he wouldn't care, you would and did. So he just took care of it like the good daddy-to-be he was.

You two were married in Mullingar, it was a rather large wedding, with family, friends, everything and everyone. It was… it was crazy and you weren't showing yet. You started showing at five and half months more noticeably.

You decided a spring wedding would be best so you would be able to fit in the dress of your choice. Granted, it was a little further at the stomach and the rags were obviously able to do simple math and they had a field day with the fact that Robert was conceived out of wed-lock.

Though it was none of their business and none of their concern, but this was what happens when you marry a world wide sensation.

Your life, is suddenly theirs. And this is what worried you for Robert, what happens when you go out into public with him? Niall promised more security but it was more about privacy. But you gave that up for Niall. Willingly, happily, and would do it over and over again.

The doctor entered the room again, "Okay Mrs. Horan, we are going to have you start pushing and we are going get your little boy out into the world." He smiled at the two of you.

You nod and Niall grips your hand, "I love you baby, so much. I am so ready for this."

You searched those blue eyes that you got lost in so often and those blue eyes had a new gleam. You weren't too sure what it meant but you knew it had to do with the baby on the way.

His nursery was set up. Green and orange with footballs and Derby County jerseys everywhere.

A Derby family through and through.

"I'm ready." You breathed out.

* * *

After a few more hours in labour and pushing and tears and trying.

Robert Charles Horan was born. He was 16inches long, weighed 7 pounds and had a full head of dark hair.

They wrapped him in a blue blanket and handed him to you.

You pushed the hair that stuck to your forehead in the sweat back and cradled him in your arms.

Niall stood behind you slightly, arms around your shoulders. You gazed down at your son.

How could you ever doubt-ever question your love or question if you were ready. You held this blue little bundle tight in your arms. His eyes open, looking up at you.

"We make great looking kids." Niall murmured softy, his long finger gently tracing Robert's face.

You nod, "Yeah. You were a great coach baby." You glance up at him and Niall smiles at you, leaning down to give you a gentle kiss.

"You were amazing. You got him out." Niall winked and you held Robert up to Niall to take him.

He took him and searched his face, "God, he is so precious." You scoot over so Niall can get into bed with you. You rest against him as he cooed sweet nothings to Robert.

“We made this…” Niall murmured to you. You hummed in agreement and leaned against Niall, utterly exhausted.

Eventually, sleep overcame you and knowing Robert was in the right arms and just Niall’s presence in general and how well Niall took the father role it just… It gave you the comfort where you were able to go to sleep easily. 


	12. You're More to Me Than That

**|| Dual POV ||**

**Your POV**

You sat at home, bored and just a tad lonely. Your parents were on vacation and you were stuck at home, “taking care of the house” and “making sure everything at home was going accordingly”.

Load of bull shit that was. 

You were scrolling your twitter feed and saw one of Niall’s tweets and smiled to yourself. 

You’ve known Niall since forever, he was your best friend and even in the fame and the glory of being in a boy band-he was still your best friend and you two did everything together and you loved him like he was your brother.  

This was a guy that you knew you could rely on whenever you needed him. 

Last week he had brought you Chinese food at three in the morning just because of your craving.

It was simple, Niall was your best friend. 

You call him up quickly, “Hey Ni!”

"Hey Y/N! How is it going?" You could hear the smile in his voice.

"Boring as fuck, care to join me on an unknown adventure?" You smile as you speak. 

"What type of question, when would I turn down an adventure with my favourite girl?" You could hear him chuckle on the other end.

"And this is why you’re my best friend. You’re the absolute best Niall Horan! I will see you in a bit yeah?" You smile when he says yes and hang up. 

Niall’s POV 

I hang up the phone, feeling discouraged. There was that word again “best friend”. 

I loved her. 

Plain and simple. 

I watched her through the years dating different douchebags and always being the one to comfort her, bringing her ice cream, holding her, taking her to the cinema, bringing her damned chinese at three in the fucking morning. 

I just wouldn’t do that for anyone, but i would do it for her. Over and over again. No regrets. As long as it meant she was happy and I saw her smiling.

I got into the Rover and drove to her house and she was already out the door, bounding to the car. She got in and hugged you, “Hey Ni.”

"Hey." I smile softly. 

"So, I was thinking we could go to the castles and wander around for a bit?" She looked at you excitedly-how could I say no to that face?

"Of course." I start towards the castles. 

**Your POV**

You loved driving with Niall.

 He loved driving and you loved watching him do it. You settle against the soft leather and smile softly. 

You lean forward and turn up the music and start to sing along to the radio. Niall glanced at you and smirked at you, “Really love, go try out for the X-Factor, I see great things happening for you.” 

You give Niall look, your voice was terrible. “You’re so mean.” You pout. 

"No, sweetie, I am listening to you sing and I love it." 

"You know I am awful." You look out the window. 

Niall put his hand on your thigh in comfort, “Hey, I love it when you sing because it makes you genuinely happy. And I like seeing you happy.” He parked at the castles and looks hard at you, “I promise I am not lying.” I murmur. 

You blush lightly, “T-Thank you.”

Niall stared at you a beat longer and you got out of the car, feeling awkward. 

Niall met you on the other side, staying next to you as you two hiked the the hill up to the castle.

"After you my dear." He gestures for you to go first. 

You nod and jumped the small fence that was there, going towards the castle. 

**Niall's POV**

I watched the fearless nature of her. She would be down to do anything always. Whatever it was, whatever it was climbing on top of the castle and hanging your feet over, jumping off the cliffs into the water, or being in tight, closed spaces. She was always brave. 

Fearless. 

That was only one piece that I loved. There was so many other things that you could go on about. The way she titled her head back when she laughed, the way the sunlight would catch the natural highlights in her hair. Or the tender nature of her eyes. 

I sigh and follow her further up into the castle, the stairs getting narrower. I put my hand on the small of her back to keep your balance as well as hers. “Thanks Ni.” She turns and smiles back at you. I smile back softly in return. God, that smile did things to you. Unspeakable, crazy things. I loved it. I loved her. Of course I tried to forget her. Dating the super models and celebrities, sure. But as more dates happened, you couldn’t help but compare them to her. Or find little things that were like hers. A similar upper lip, a similar nose. It drove me crazy. I wanted to be over her, done. But it was easier said than done. “Niall, could you give me a slight boost?” She turned and pouted slightly. Those all ready pouty lips looked that much kissable. “Of course. Got to get your short arse up there some way, don’t I?” I tease lightly. She punches my arm lightly and i put my hands on her hips. I grip them tightly, “Ready?” “Yes.” She nods, her hands holding tightly into the bar above her. “One. Two. Three.” On three I push her upwards and she pushes her way to the top. I smirk and put my hands on her bum to give her more lift upwards. She finally is out of sight. “C’mon singer boy.” She teases. I roll my eyes and pull myself up. 

**Your POV**

You sigh as you look over the view. It is gorgeous. The sky is twinkling with stars, the moon just on the other side, providing more than enough light. Niall pokes your sides, causing you to squeal slightly and push him away, “Enjoy a moment, yeah?” You chide him with a smirk. He sticks his tongue out and looks around with a slight smile. “Beautiful, yeah?” “Yeah.” You nod. “Thanks for getting me out of the house for a bit. Mum and dad left for the weekend and though it would be best it I were the house sitter.” You shrug and he drapes an arm lazily over your shoulders.

 “Anything for you.” The way he says it is so… Serious. It makes you feel awkward. 

You loved him. Of course you did. He was your best friend. Niall has always been there and you knew, would always be. But the way he said this… It just. It didn’t sit right with you. You nod slightly. “Thanks Ni.” You casually shift away from his arm around you and sit on the edge, your legs hanging off. Niall sits next you and lays back, looking at the sky. You follow his lead and sigh as you train your eyes on the sky. 

"This is nice. Getting away from anything.” Niall speaks softly. You keep your eyes on the sky and hum slightly. 

“It gets… Exhausting to have to constantly watch your back with the paps. Constantly signing autographs, taking pictures, being mobbed at every corner. It’s nice to get away from it all for a bit.” 

“Do you regret any of it?” You ask softly, knowing he loved his job. 

“Oh god no. Never I would never give this up.” He turns his head to look at you, “Being up on stage, singing and doing what I love… Not many people can say that.” 

You turn and look into his blue eyes. The moon reflected off them, making them look darker. This was one of your favourite features of him. They were always so kind.  

"I just sometimes would like to walk out into my backyard naked, and not worry about the paps, you know?” He sighs, looking away. 

You bite back a giggle, keeping this was serious. “I understand, you are more than welcome to use my backyard whenever.” 

He chuckles softly and shakes his head. 

**Niall's POV**

That moment was so perfect to kiss her. But I would put at risk an entire friendship. This friendship I couldn’t just get rid of. “Oi. A certain singer boy is starving. Let’s head back.” I stand up and help her up. I go through the roof first and catch her on her way down. I put some space between the two of us as we walk down to the car. 

I wanted to kiss her. But- 

“Should we pick something up or should I cook-” 

“I’ll cook.” I interrupt her. “Still like chicken fajitas?”

 “Only yours.” She smiles softly and I open the car door for her. “Well you’re in luck then.” I smirk and go to the other side and get into the drivers side. 

**Your POV**

You hummed along to the radio until you got back to your house. After you graduate from uni, you would get your own flat and that was sooner rather than later… 

Niall followed you inside and started to cook straight away. “I’m going to change!” You call out, heading to your room.

You pull on little pyjama shorts and a tank top. You take off the make up from earlier in the day and throw your hair in a sloppy bun. “Nialler!” You call out in a sing song voice as you make your way downstairs.

“Y/N!” He calls back, setting the table. “Aw, I was going to do that. Thanks.” You smile in thanks and sit at the table. 

**Niall's POV**

Those little shorts. Hot fucking damn. She looked so hot in them and made me want her that much more. 

Her eyes brightened for a moment, “Want a beer?” She gets up and starts to pour herself a glass of wine.

“Sounds bloody great.” I say with a nod. She brings it to me with a smile and sits down, starting to eat. 

She moans softly, “God Niall, this is amazing.” 

I sip my beer and eat, nodding slightly. “You’re welcome. I aim to please. Always.” I wink and you see a faint blush works it’s way up her cheeks. 

The rest of the meal is eaten in an easy silence with soft conversation here and there. I ended up having three beers and she had just as many glasses of wine.

 Whether it was the alcohol that made you speak or it was the fact of you just being done with hiding your feelings… 

“I need to tell you something… Serious.” I start off. 

She nods, heading towards the living room.

 “Look at me.” I say quietly.

 She freezes and turns around. “Yes?” 

“I-I… I love you, Y/N. I have loved you for a long time…” I sigh and wait for her reaction. 

**Your POV**

"Niall, you’re drunk.” You say seriously. He didn’t love you. How could he? He is your best friend. You were his best friend. He couldn’t love you. 

He frowns, “No I am not. I love you. You are my best friend and you’re more to me than that.” 

“Niall please stop.”

 Anger flashed in his blue eyes and he picked up the pillow, his knuckles turning white from holding it so tightly. “Do you think I bring just ANY FUCKING ONE CHINESE AT THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING?” He started off calm but ended up yelling. 

“You don’t.” You say seriously, but calmly. 

He throws the pillow across the room, knocking over your lamp and you hear it shatter. But your eyes are on his. He closes the distance between the two of you in a few long strides. You gasp and find yourself flinching away. You have never flinched from him before.

 It’s in your flinch that look in his eyes cool. His hands cup your cheeks, “Don’t be afraid of me. I am sorry. I am just… I am in love with you and I want you to know that.” With each word his lips get closer and closer to yours and after he finishes speaking he’s still.

 His lips meet yours before you can register it or really say anything. Niall’s lips on yours felt right. They moulded against yours perfectly and you sigh softly against his lips. You loved him too. But you denied it to yourself for so long… 

Niall broke the kiss, “I will talk to you later.” He starts towards the door.

You shake your head and follow him, catching his hand. “I don’t want you to go.”

 “Why?” He looks at you, puzzled.

“Because… I am in love with you too.” 

 


	13. And I Write Again, I Love You

“Niall. I am sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I-I have to go.” You run your hands through your hair, your eyes glistening over with tears.

You refused to cry in front of him. Not because you didn’t love him, but because you did and this was all ready painful enough you didn’t need his tears either. You didn’t want him to change your mind. You needed to stay strong through this. You’ve thought about this for a long time. It was the single hardest decision ever.

“You can’t do what, Y/N?” Niall demanded, his voice wavering.

You didn’t answer him, you went straight to the bedroom, you pulled out your duffel bag and started to throw clothes in it. You would speak and he would do everything in his power to convince you to stay.

Niall followed you, “You can’t just leave without giving me a reason!” He growled out shutting the door to the closet. He stood in front of it, arms crossed.

“Please get out of my way.” You almost begged, tears starting to trace down your cheeks. Your chin trembled slightly and you bite your tongue to try to keep the tears at bay.

Niall shook his head, “No.”

“Fine.” You clenched your jaw and shut and picked up your bag-half packed. “Good bye, Niall.”

“No, Y/N! Please, I love you…” His voice broke and you kept walking.

You shut the door behind you for the last time. That was the single hardest thing for you to do—shut that door. Because you weren’t just shutting the door on Niall, you were ending a chapter in your life.

* * *

He watched in astonishment as you shut the door.

The click of the door seem to echo throughout your guys’—well now, _his_ —quiet flat.

He knew that you two had your issues.. What couples don’t have their issues? You two always got over them. You two always worked through them and never had it get to the point of you walking out on him.

The tears that were streaming down his face were originally out of sorrow but now, they were out of anger. The shift from the sadness to anger was almost unexpected.

But how could you walk out on three years together?

His arm shoots out to punch the wall, his knuckles connected with a satisfying crunch. He pulled his arm back and punched it again. That wasn’t enough, Niall full on started to fight the wall. His fists made several holes, but he didn’t care.

Niall punched the wall until he was exhausted. But the pain still wasn’t enough to distract him. He examined his knuckles and they were starting to turn a violet colour form the bruising and they were bleeding scraped.

He made his way out of your guys’— _his_ — bar, rummaging through it, hunting for the hardest alcohol the two of you— _he_ — had.

Tequila.

He sat on the couch and start to take long chugs right out of the bottle. He got pretty deep in when things went fuzzy. His anger was more palpable now. He throws the almost empty bottle against the wall, shattering not only the bottle but also the picture of the two of you that was hung up.

It didn’t stop there. He picked up one of the chairs and slammed it down onto the coffee table with a yell, breaking both the glass coffee table and a couple legs off the chair. He turned and knocked down all the photographs and kicks the lamp down. The shattered glass decorating the entire living room.

That helped, a lot. He felt guilty that he ruined the entire living room basically. And he ruined the memories that the photographs had. He stumbled to your guys— _his_ —room and dropped in the bed. But he couldn’t. Your scent was in the sheets and clung to the pillows. He pushed himself out of bed and went to the hallway with a fresh blanket from the linen closet.

 

He woke up with a killer hung over, the light blinding, his alarm from his phone screaming. Niall was praying that when he woke up it would all be a nightmare, that you would be there with fried eggs and toast for his hang over.

No eggs. No toast. No you.

And now, the anger was gone. The heart ache and heart break was setting in, burrowing in his heart. He forces himself up and headed to the kitchen, pulling the juice out of the fridge, drinking it from the carton and sitting at the breakfast bar. He pulled the notepad to him, along with a pen.

Niall knew that you wouldn’t listen to him with his words. So he was going to do what he did best to reach you.

Writing.

He sighed and tapped the pen against the counter, his right hand running through his hair. _I can do this,_ He thought to himself. There was no reason he couldn’t. He wrote countless songs, he could write you.  

_Dear Y/N,_

_I start this with I love you and an apology. I know that we haven’t had the best communication the last few months, hell maybe even year. Touring and all of that had and has gotten the best of me. Honestly? You slipped from being a number one on my list to who knows where. I am so sorry for that. When you love someone, that shouldn’t happen._

_I put your problems beneath mine and ignored your troubles because they “weren’t as big” as mine are. This is only one more thing that added to the pile of you leaving me._

_I am not going to lie, you leaving hurt me more than I thought it ever would-because, well, I never thought you would. You were always supposed to be there. You were always supposed to be my number one support. Not ever were you supposed to leave me._

_I understand why you did, I do not blame you. I definitely have some shit to work on and maybe someday we can try again or something. A_

_nd I write again, I love you. I always will, being a first love does that to a man. I hope you can forgive me and I am truly, very sorry._

_With all my love,_

 

 

 

 

_ _

 

He ripped the paper carefully before sealing the letter in an envelope. He addresses it with your name in his sloppy cursive. He rested his head against the counter and cried. He cried until he fell asleep again.

When he woke up, the hang over was even worse if that was possible. With a loud groan, he made himself get up and go pick up the disaster he left the living room.

 

It took most of the morning to take care of it, but he did it. After that, he pulled down a few suitcases and started to pack your stuff, crying silently through it. Niall packed your clothes, photographs, all the stuff that was yours within the shared flat. He would write you a check for the things the two of you shared.

Niall piled the suitcases by the front door, putting the letter on top of the clothes in one of the suitcases and zipped it up again. With a breath, Niall pulled out his phone.

_Hey darling, you can come to the flat and get what you need. I promise I won’t be here._

With that, he grabbed his phone and keys and left.

* * *

You were dreading going to the apartment, worried that Niall would be waiting for you. You couldn’t handle that. You would listen to him then, you would sit and let him make you feel better.

Hell, his tears nearly broke you into staying.

Your shaking fingers pushed the key into the door and unlocked, and just as promised, the apartment was empty and there was your stuff. You walked in to pick through a few different things and frown when you see the holes in the wall with dried blood on it. There were a whole lot less pictures in the living room as well as a missing coffee table. You sighed and shake your head a bit.

After grabbing a few more things, you take the suitcases to your car, one by one. After packing your car up, you came up. You lean against the wall, looking into the shared flat. So many happy, loving memories. But those memories were outweighed by the other feelings in your heart.

You left, locking the door and putting your set of keys in the secret spot. Tears were streaming down your face again, this time due to the finality of what you were doing.

This was it. This was done. You two were broken up. It was over.

After getting back to your parents’ house, you dragged all your suitcases up to your old room and started to unpack. You unpack mechanically, tossing random things into drawers, other things into boxes to put into storage. You see the envelope as you open the next suitcase.

You pull it out and sit cross legged, leaning against your bed. You take a deep breath and run your fingers over your name he wrote—the hand writing you knew so well.

With a shake of your head, you finishing packing away some things and putting away the rest of your stuff—the letter waiting for you on your bed. You avoid it further by going to make tea and eat crackers. It was all you could get down at this moment.

But when it came down to bed time and you were all showered, hair dried and straightened. The letter was still on your bed.

You took a big breath and lean against your headboard. You opened it slowly, pulling out the single page of his scribbly hand writing. The tears were all ready stinging your eyes.

The tears escaped your eyes as you read the letter. He was right—at least he knew what he did wrong.

_And I write again, I love you._

Your tears fell onto the paper, blotching the ink, causing it to smear slightly.

You loved him, but love fades.

And with him, it will. With time.

You hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to this is found in Chapter 53, Even Though You Don't Mean It


	14. Be a Good Girl

"Niall-"

"Sh." His lips connect with yours with a low growl and you can't help but fold into his demands.

Because you wanted it just as much.

You knew everyone was in the room next to you but the two of you couldn't help it. Niall seemed to be horny 24/7 and you were always more than eager to help.

Niall pushed you roughly against the wall, his hands finding the end of your pencil skirt and roughly pulling it up.

You whimper slightly at his rough movements and push his jacket off his shoulders. He pulls his tshirt off in one fluid motion and you carefully undo the buttons on your blouse.

As soon as your tits are exposed, Niall buries his face in your cleavage, his mouth open as he pulls the cups of your bra down his lips connecting with your nipples. He sucked roughly and carefully placed your nipples between his teeth and pulled.

"Fuck!" You cry out before he brings a hand to cover your mouth.

Niall needed you. The way your cute little arse looked in the tight black skirt and the way your tits seemed to be swollen and a simple eye magnet. He needed you in a way that was primal and instinctual.

He looked up at you, eyes dark with lust, his breathing heavy, "Now now, no noises are allowed to come from you. We don't want everyone to know..." God, he loved being dominant with you. And you were so good at following orders.

You nod and pull his hand away to kiss him. "Fuck me hard..."

"With pleasure." He smirks and kisses you roughly.

Your fingers struggle with his button but you get it done and pull down his jeans and boxers both at once.  

His dick was half up and you were surprised, he was usually ready.

"Ni..." You pout.

Niall wanted to feel embarrassed that it was only half up, but believe him-what he had, even half up was more than enough... "Get sucking." He says with a smirk and a raised brow.

"My favourite." You murmur, gripping his dick at the base, taking the soft head in your mouth. "Remember no sounds." You start to move your hand up and down slowly, your tongue massaging over his head.

"Oh fuck, Y/N, just like that." Niall moans out and you did your nails into his thigh.

"No fucking noises, remember?" You growl out, kitten licking his tip.

God, the pleasure running through Niall was almost too much. "Good point." He tightens his hand in your hair and makes you stand up.

Niall's eyes searched yours. Your purples were dilated, breathing heavy… He trailed his fingers across your opening.

"Soaking…" He murmurs, putting his fingers in his mouth-god you tasted so good to him. One of his favourite things to do for you was to eat you out. But right now, you would be too loud for that.

"Just fuck me." You whisper in a whine. Niall smirks, he loved it when you were desperate like this. Wet in desire and needy..

He turns you around and makes you bend over, your face pressing against the wall. "Oh fuck." You murmur. Niall reaches his hand forward and covers your mouth.

With a quick thrust, Niall was in you and you moan loudly. But it was muffled.

"Kitten, hush." He whispers out, trying to keep from moaning himself.

"Just fuck me." You mumble against his hand. Niall does as you demand, biting his fist to keep from making noises.

It was so hard, you were so tight and so hot… This was his second favourite view. His first was watching your cum face. Second was taking you from behind.

His thrust were becoming erratic and you reached down to rub your clit, whimpering against his hand.

"Good girl." He moans softly and you feel yourself coming undone with his thrusts and your own fingers. "Fuck!" You whine against his hand and you bite down on his hand as you cum. You start to pant as he kept thrusting.

"Cum Ni." He knots his hands in your hair and pulls your head tautly back.

He keeps his movements rush and hurried. "Keep quiet!" You growl as he moans at a normal sound level. You lean back a bit and lick your hand and reach back to massage his balls with every thrust.

Niall pulls your hair more tightly on your hair as he starts to cum. He pulls out and cums on your bottom and you moan softly.

You reach back and wipe it away and lick your fingers and he smirks. "That's sexy."

You straighten and turn to look at him. "Good, because it tastes delicious." You pant slightly.

Niall raises his brow and shoves a stick of gum in his mouth and pulls up his jeans and puts his tshirt back on. "Meet you out there. Give you a moment to gather yourself and meet you out there." He winks at you and kisses your forehead, "Love you. And thanks for being such a good girl."

He leaves and takes a seat with the other guys who seemed to have not noticed anything. He leans back and runs his hands through his hair slightly. But Niall couldn't seem to get rid of his sex hair. Not that he cared.

You ran you fingers through your hair to smooth it out. Unlike Niall, you cared. You fixed your skirt and buttoned your blouse. You take a deep breath and walk out with a slight smile.

Niall smirks at you and looks away before mouthing to you, "Be a good girl." Of course he expected it. You do like what was expected of you-you go sit on his lap.

His arms come to wrap around you, face pressing into your neck. "Good girl."

You shiver and giggle. "I love you." You run his hands through his fluffy hair.

"And I love you." He murmurs back.


	15. Being Wet... For Tim Cahill

You were patiently waiting backstage for Niall, he had performed so well and that yellow jersey was new… And you had noticed all of the signatures on it.

He runs into the back, "Y/N! C'mon, come with me, you're meeting my idol!" Niall grabs your hand and pulls you through the backstage area until you're in front of a man in a black tshirt with dark hair and tattoos.

 

The way Niall's eyes were light up and big and round, you knew how stoked he was for this. You hold his hand but then he lets go to shake his hand, "Good to see you again sir. Um, this is my girlfriend." He gestures to you.

You lean forward and shake his hand, "Pleasure." You smile, "Niall and I watch all of your games-"

"Yeah, you're bloody amazing." Niall interrupts and bites his lip slightly. "You're a fantastic football player." He nods and you do as well, rubbing Niall's back slightly.

"Bro, you're a great singer, keep it it up. And treat your girl well." He nods and smile softly.

"Always Mr. Cahill, thank you." Niall smile softly at you and you nod slightly at him.

"Tim please." Tim spoke nicely, "Now, I must be off, the wife and kids are waiting. But please, the two of you, before you leave, come have dinner with my family."

If Niall looked amazed and awed before-nothing like he was now… he looked like he came in his pants and you wanted to laugh but knew it would be entirely inappropriate.

You step forward, "Thank you so much, I will have Niall let you know and we can coordinate." He nods and shakes our hands before walking out, going to a car most likely.

Niall looks at you-the astonishment still on his face and you can't help your grin. "I will be in your dressing room." You wink and walk off.

He comes bounding in after a moment.

Niall bounces on his toes, excitement clear on his face. "Baby, baby, baby, baby! It was Tim Cahill!" He runs his hand through his damp hair.

God that hair reminded you of a night of long sex, nights in hot tub... Nights in the pool... Shower sex... You bite your lip.

He was so sexy. And you remember pulling his hair and the-

"Y/N! Are you even listening to me?" Niall whines slightly.

I nod and smile, "Yes, yes, Tim Cahill. I know you wore his jersey for the show. I was front and center and I met him too." You giggle before chewing on your lip for a moment, his hair was ready for a good pulling from a good fucking…

"But, it's not just that! We are going over to his house for dinner later!" He runs his hands through his hair again, "He is one of the best football players and he is my idol! Do you not see my yellow jersey! With  _alll_  the signatures!" He starts to pace the room.

All you can think about unfortunately is pulling that hair and jumping him. It reminded you of good times and you wanted those with him right-

"Y/N, what day works for us for dinner?" He looks at you excitedly.

You shake your head and put your hands on his shoulders, shoving him gently against the wall. "All  _I_ can think about is you. And me. And how much I want you to make me pull on your hair. I am soaking wet for you right now." You voice is low and your words hushed, but the desire was clear in your eyes.

You saw the desire growing in his eyes as well… "Oh… What is making you-"

"You and your sexy fucking soaking hair." You interrupt and he smirks.

He cups your cheek gently and brings his lips down to yours and you run your hands through his hair.

Finally.


	16. Sweet Surprises

Lonely. Adjective. 1. affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome. 2. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support. 3. lone; solitary; without company; companionless 4. remote from places of human habitation; desolate; unfrequented; bleak.

You. But also, seemingly, Niall.

Niall had been on tour for what seemed like forever. However it really only started. He and they boys had just started the American leg of the tour.

He made it home when he could.

The amount of times that that happened-you could count on one hand. And that honestly, probably, only made the pain of missing him that much more great.

Your heart ached for him. His tea mug still sitting on the bar, untouched from when you two last had tea...

You slept in his clothes that he left behind when he would trade them out. They still smelt like him, but that was soon fading like the memory of the gentle and loving, mindless caresses, the romantic baths, and crazy breakfast times when you two would be waltzing around each other trying to outcook each other but it ended in a flour fight.

His side of the bed was cold every night and the entire flat was quiet and ultimately, very, extremely lonely.

But heavens forbid you tell Niall that.

It wasn't so easy on him either.

Being away from you physically seemed to take him down a few hundred pegs. You two haven't tied the knot, but the two of you sure have talked about it. When you helped him pack you sprayed your perfume on every piece clothing that he would wear. He tried to wait as long as possible before washing his clothes. Being with the guys was great, but being with his girl was that much better. And it was that much suckier to know that.

Sometimes he'd wake up from nightmares about you but he would turn his face into the blanket that you used and would breathe slowly and fall back asleep.  

All of that goes without saying, phone calls and skyping happened but those were scarce as were the texts. If he wasn't performing he was doing sight seeing and meeting fans. And the time differences were killer.

Either you woke up super early or he stayed up too late. Either way, loneliness seem to seep into every conversation... Like the one you had a couple weeks ago.

"Baaaaaaybaaaaay!" Niall grinned so widely and brightly-you could have been blinded.

"My love!" You squealed, happy to see him. "How are you?" You searched his face and smile.

It seemed too bright and too forced.

"I am great." He nodded.

"Good." You said, feeling a slight ping in your heart. Maybe he didn't-

"But I miss you." His voice had broke as he spoke.

You pressed your finger tips onto the screen, "Oh, handsome..."

"Petal, I miss you more than anything." His eyes had grown glassy and you but down hard on your lip to keep from tearing up.

You needed to be strong for him. And you would.

"Oh Ni... You will be home soon." You kept your smile hard.

He shook his head, "They added another show." He said simply.

"Well what can I do baby?" You pressed.

But Niall couldn't answer. Because the only thing he needed was you but it was all ready hard and you didn't need to hear that.

"Niall." You said gently but firmly.

"I need you." He almost whimpered out.

That Skype call ended shortly after that. The guys yelling that it was time to go.

You sat in the window seat, looking over the city of London, the conversation running through your mind. Over and over again.

The raindrops traced down the window pane and they were memorising. You had texted him earlier and still no response.

There was a knock at the door and with a great sigh, you pull yourself up to go answer it.

It was your friend from uni, holding a giant vase of flowers. "These were at the lobby." She giggles and holds them out.

You tear up and take them. You read the note, "Sweet surprise for my sweet girl. Love you my petal-have a few yourself. All my love, Niall x

A single tear traces down your cheek, you take a picture and post it on instagram, thanking him.

But it is not the same them as Niall being here and giving them to you himself.

He knew that you loved flowers and he felt guilty he couldn't make it home like you two had planned. And it sucked.

Niall moped around a bit and the others didn't really understand. Because their girls came frequently.

"Well, I just wanted to come check on you and say hello!" She grins.

You shake your head, "I am fine."

"No you're not." She pulls you into a hug and you start to go into a full rant and tears about how much you miss Niall and you need him more than you realised. 

"Well, why don’t you just go? You surprise him and just show up.”  Her fingers wiping away your tears.

You study her eyes for a moment, "Oh my god, that is… that is brilliant!" You hug her. "I love that idea!"

She stayed for a bit longer before you called Liam. "Hey! Li? I need a favour…" You bite your lip.

Niall was miserable, he sent you the flowers and saw the instagram post. But it was nothing like you squealing and hugging him and kissing him and just loving on him.

He decided, he would leave the moment after the concert-be home for one day to only leave that same day. So be it.

"Hazza, bud, you're going to need to cover for me with management…" Niall went along to go on and explain his plan.

After you hung up with Liam, you decide to call Niall up while shopping for plane tickets to Los Angeles.

"Aw, my lover!" He grins as he answers, in a lot better mood.

"My boy band member!" You say with a giggle. "Thank you so much for my beautiful flowers-I love them so much!"

"Many petals for my petal." He murmurs.

You hum, nodding, "Love you..." You say distractedly as you buy tickets for Saturday evening. You would be arriving as soon as the show ended and you would be waiting on his bed in his hotel room in very sexy lingerie.

"Baby are you listening?" Niall asks.

"Yes! You're going to have a lot of fun shopping!" You knew that a purse or new jacket would come out of it. But you were more focused on being there.

Niall smiles, "Well I gotta run... I miss you." He says softly, he did his best to keep his voice from breaking. He would be seeing you in less than a week.

"I miss you too…" You sigh, "I love you."

"I love you. Bye." He hags up and buys his ticket to Dublin first thing before leaving with the guys.

* * *

Your weekend bag is packed, airport bag ready, and passport ready to go. You had been in contact with Liam a couple of times and he kept it a secret-just notifying the guards that you were on your way. Liam is going to be sending a car to pick you up.

Niall is also ready to go. He didn't even bother packing a bag-it would cause too much attention. And Harry knew how he was going to cover. 

It was all going accordingly so far.

The plane couldn't be any slower, but as you landed, it was the middle of the show. Which gave you more than enough time to prepare the room and prepare yourself for him.

Niall couldn't get through the show quickly enough, you were excited to get to Dublin, even if it was for one full day before you have to return back to LA to go to the next show.

You text Liam that you were at the hotel and was safely in his room. You sprinkled the flower petals, lit candles, and shower to freshly shower your legs. You dress in brand new, rather expensive lingerie. 

Liam texts you back, saying the show is over, that Niall just got into the car to go back quickly.

You squeal and lay on the bed, patiently waiting for him.

However, he ended up not showing up or going.

Niall was at the airport, practically running through check in. The flight would take 12 hours, so it wasn't terrible.

You waited and waited before calling Liam again, "Hey, he's not here."

"He's not with us anymore…" Liam grew a bit nervous. "Let me check with Harry!" there was muffled talking and the explaining of your plan and Harry groans loudly.

"Y/N? You're really in LA?" He asks, biting his lip.

"YES!" You you say, exasperation colouring your tone.

"Oh god, he is on his way to Dublin as we speak!"

"Oh bloody hell." You rub your eyes and sigh softly, "Okay. I gotta go." You hang up.

Niall gets to the flat and sees it abandoned, seeing a copy of the tickets on the counter. His phone buzzes and answers, "Baby, where are you?" He says seriously.

"In Los Angeles, waiting to surprise you." You had gotten dressed and were hanging out with the guys.

"We botched this… Yeah?" He chuckles softly.

"We did, now get your Irish arse on the next flight to LA so we can spend the next few days together, I took school off." You laugh, but can't help the feeling of sheer stupidity of the situation.

You kept your company with the guys for the next day, but told them you were going to wait in his room for him. You shower and change back into the lingerie. 

Niall slept as much as he could on this flight, this whole situation shitty but funny but not. He couldn't put his finger on it.

He eagerly looked for you when he got to the LA but you were nowhere to be found. But Harry was there with a smile. "I am a bloody idiot." Niall shakes his head.

Harry laughs, "We should try to get another person in on this next time you and Y/N decide to surprise each other."

"Where's my girl at?" Niall raises his brows.

"At the hotel…" Harry shrugs.

You get a text from Harry saying he's almost there and you get nervous and excited all at the same time. You lit the candles and lay on the bed-waiting for him.

Niall ran to the elevator, ignoring the fans at the hotel and leaving Harry in the car.

The elevator was going mind numbingly slow, he paced the small pace like a trapped cat, not being able to wait to see you. Feel your skin against his.

He fumbles with the key and walks in, sighing when he sees you. "Y/N…" He murmurs softly.

"Hey Ni." You sit up and smile gently.

Niall closes the space between the two of you and pulls you into his arms. "Oh god, baby. I've missed you." He whispers, burying his face in your hair.

Your arms go around his waist tightly, "You gave me a sweet surprise, it was only fair. Even if we botched it." You speak quietly, looking up at him.

"Even if."  He cups your cheek and brings his lips down to yours with a sigh of relief.

Together. adverb 1. into or in one gathering: to call the people together. 2. into or in union, contact, as two or more things. 3. into or in relationship, as two or more persons. 4. taken or considered collectively or conjointly. 5 into or in a condition of unity.

You and Niall didn't have to worry about being lonely. For now, you two get to be together.


	17. Not Alone in Comfort

You were sitting at the table, cup of tea to your left, laptop open, with soft music playing, and papers of interviews and all of that spread out. You had the interview done, but you just needed to finish the article and get it submitted to your boss.

The door bangs open and slums roughly. You jump in shock your eyes turning to see Niall storming up the stares. Where the bedroom door slams. You stare at the door, "Niall? Sweetheart?" You say softly and stand up.

You had barely seen Niall all week, either you were busy or he was busy. Most of the time-you were all ready in bed or he was all ready in bed…

After a brief moment of contemplating, you gingerly make your way to the bedroom. With a deep breath you knock lightly on the door and open it, "Ni… You okay?" Your eyes land on his figure, standing in the window.

Niall shakes his head, not answering.

Cautiously, you make your way towards him, "Baby, what's wrong?" You tentatively rest your hand on his back, trying to look up at him.

His head drops down and his shoulders start to shake, he was obviously crying. You wrap your arms around his waist and you rest your head against his back. His sobs only growing.

"Niall, talk to me, please." You kiss between his shoulder blades.

He shakes his head and sniffs, wiping his face, "Doesn't matter. It never does."

Your heart breaks as he speaks. You tighten your arms around him and move to stand in front of him, your heart shattering further as you take in his glistening cheeks.

Wiping at his tears, you keep your hands on his cheeks, "It always matters. Especially to me." Your eyes stay on his… His blue eyes that had a metallic glint from the tears. "I'm sorry you're hurting." You whisper, kissing under his chin.

Niall presses his face into your neck and you hold him more tightly. "Talk to me." You whisper to him.

"I just… I can't deal with any of this." He sobs and you hold him more tightly. "The amount of stress, the people that are constantly surrounding me, the rumours, and baby-it's all getting to me." Niall presses closer and you pull him to the bed.

You stay standing and hold him to your chest. This was seemingly normal, every once in a while, something would trigger Niall and he would break. And you were there for him every step of the way. "Let me go get you a nice cuppa to settle you down." You whisper, kissing his forehead.

After you put the kettle on, you hurry to go meet up with him as soon as you have his mug. You set it on the bed side table for him.

Niall was laying on the bed, on his side and you got up behind him-being the big spoon. "I love you Niall… So much." You whisper, kissing his neck lightly.

He nods slightly, sighing. He was emotionally drained and really all he needed was you.

"Ni… You're not alone in this." You speak softly, rubbing his back lightly. "I am here for you… Always."

Niall turned and pressed his face into your chest as you ran his fingers through his hair. "I love you." He whispers, his eyes closing.

You smile and keep rubbing his back and you watch his face slacken and his breathing slow. Niall was exhausted, mentally and emotionally.

It was easy for him to push off everything and "laugh it off" and put on that happy face-because well, he had to. But you were his safe harbour, you were his safety net, and you were his comfort.

He didn't have to worry about coming home and you not being there to support him. You were his constant and his love, and for that he couldn't be more relieved.

You fell asleep shortly after Niall did, pressed close against him and face buried in his hair.

Niall woke up before you did and pulled away, yawning softly. He smiled softly at your sleeping figure and sighed.

He was so lucky. Niall keeps his eyes on your sleeping face.

After awhile, he carefully untangles himself and goes to wash his face. He stares long and hard at himself in the mirror. "I'll be okay." He whispers to himself.

Which he would be… As long as he had you, he would not be alone in comfort.

You wake up to the empty bed and you heard him in the bathroom. You tip toed to the bathroom and hugged him from behind, causing him to jump. "You always will be Ni. I promise."

"As long as I have you." He says, turning to kiss you lightly.


	18. Strip Tease Study

Math was literally your worst subject. You had tried seemingly everything, the internet was no help nor were tutors. 

Niall on the other hand was majoring in accounting and minoring in theory of mathematics. Because he was a bloody genius.

“Niall! This is impossible!” You whine on the phone as you leave the library. “I have to pass this class because I’ve all ready failed it twice and can’t take it anymore! I need this for graduation!” You were almost in tears. 

“I’ll be over. I’m going to be your tutor.” He says curtly, “I’ll be in your room after I eat.” He hangs up and you frown at the phone and sigh. Niall seems irritated and you hated that. But you really needed him and he knew that. 

Niall ate quickly, waving off his four best friends. You needed him and he knew he needed to be there for you. He made his way across campus, his mind three steps ahead, all ready in your dorm room.

There was a sharp knock on the door and you jump up to go answer it. You were wearing simple leggings and a tank top. You didn’t need to dress up for studying.

Niall pushed his way into the room, “So I had time to think about this on my way over.” He puts a piece of gum into his mouth and chews it a couple of time before looking at you. “We are going to make this count while I am here.”

You nod and open your mouth to speak and he puts his finger on your lips. “Let me finish.” His brow came up and you nod. “Great.”

He clears his throat before starting, “All right babe, each time you get a question right. You will take a piece of your clothing off.” He nods with a smirk before working the gum in his mouth. “Because, as much as you want to pass, I want to make this fun for me too.” He takes your study guide and winks at you.

Instead of the feeling of dread, you felt the heat grow in-between your legs. Dammit. How he managed to turn you on for the simplest things still baffled you. “Yes, Niall.”

“Glad that’s clear.” He winks at you and gives you a brief kiss. “Now, let’s get this thing started. 

* * *

 

Almost two full hours had passed and you’d only had your socks off. “Ni!” You whine, “My toes are going to fall off because they are freezing!”

Niall had also grown rather frustrated, he had hoped you’d be naked and understanding the math that was thrown your way... But there you were, barefoot and had not picked up anymore math than when he had walked through the door.

“Okay, Y/N, let’s do this together.”  He sits with you at the desk, his own pencil in his hand. He figures the math problem and waits for you to finish it. 

He seem to finish it quickly while you struggle through it. But after what seems like an eternity, you finish. “Okay, maybe I got it?”

Niall takes the paper and compared the work, step by step and, “That’s it! My love! You got it!”

You squeal and wiggle in your seat in glee, “I did it!” You turn to face Niall and kissed his lips.

“Ahem.” His brow comes up and a smirk is on his lips. 

“Oh, right.” You flush red for a moment before pulling off your leggings, leaving you sitting in a bright red lace thong. 

“Good girl. Now, we have quite a few more chapters to go through to make sure you understand it all.” He tugs playfully at your pony tail before focusing his best on explaining the next concept.

* * *

 

You were sitting in just your bra at this point-Niall was having a hard time concentrating and you had a hard time concentrating with the bulge in his jeans.

“D-Did I get this one right?” You bite your lip. You were uncomfortably wet and turned on. 

Niall has to focus on his breathing and keeping his eyes on the papers and not your chest or stomach, or legs or anything that was revealed. So he keeps his eyes on your face and the math.

He did the math and wanted to groan, “Yes. You know what that means?” He smirks.

Biting your lip, you nod and reach behind you unclasping the bra. You pull the straps off your shoulders slowly and look up at Niall as your bra falls to your feet.

A soft sigh comes from him. “Fuck math.” He mumbles and closes the distance between the two of you, his hands knotting in your hair and your hands go to back, your nails digging into his flesh.

He hisses against your lips and pushes you back onto the small bed, he was shoving his jeans and boxers down as he goes. You pull off his tshirt and he reaches over to the box on the side of your bed, fishing for the condoms.

You pluck it from his fingers and straddle him, “Thank you for helping me study.” You whisper and carefully balance the condom over the head of his dick. Your mouth comes over the condom and pushes it down all the way to the base of his cock.

“Fuck, I love it when you do that.” He moans out. You giggle and sit up, your fingers intertwining with his as you sink down onto him. 

“Oh fuck.” You whine out and pause once you reach his hips, squeezing his hands. 

Niall watches you, biting his lip. Slowly, you started to move up and down, before you start to bounce.

A soft whimper left your lips as he started to move his hips up. “Oh fuck.” You whine out and go a bit faster.

His eyes met yours and you two were in sync with each thrust and hip roll. His fingers loosen in your grip and goes to rub your clit roughly.

He finds your gspot and with his fingers rubbing your clit-you came undone, tightening around hims with a loud moan. Your free hand went behind to massage his balls lightly, still pulsing around him as you tried to keep your hips moving.

Niall jerks his hips up once and with a loud moan, he cums. You both sit there, panting and sweating.

“W-What’s the Pythagorean theorem?” He pants out, his eyes on yours.

Your mind scrambled. Fuck. That was when you lost your sweater. “a2 + b2 = c2.” You nod as you breathe out the answer.

He smirks and pulls you down for a kiss, “You’ll do fine baby. I am sure our strip tease study has been more than helpful.”

You nod, “Only because I have the best tutor.” You whisper and kiss him lightly.

 


	19. Don't Be Sad It's Over, Smile Because It Happened (Zayn's Farewell)

Zayn takes a deep breath, “Yeah, mates, I love you all. You’re my best friends and the last five years have been utterly amazing.” He was tearing up, the tears blurred the four guys staring, dumbfounded at him. “But, I got to do it... I have to do it for me.” He sniffs, wiping at the tears that slip down his face. 

Niall took a step forward, “Zayn, do it for ya.” The rest of the guys nod, tears trailing each of their faces. Why couldn’t management see what this was doing to them? Zayn bad boy, Harry being portrayed as the playboy, Niall the good boy, Liam the leader, and Louis the snarky sweetheart... They lost their bad boy-their mystery. Zayn was pressured into too much. He admired the other four for pushing forward and going through with it all. Management was sucking every last drop out of them like the cash cows they have become... His own mental health became at risk and chose himself over the death or addiction that could come from all of this. 

Their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders and huddled, “All right boys. Our last huddle.” Niall says, looking at each tear stained face. Louis nods, “I’m going to have to grab Harry’s nuts to get him to reach your notes, team zap.” Harry snorts before pouting, “Who’s going to be my partner in the “Long Hair, Don’t Care” sqaud?” Liam bites his lip, “My super hero buddy...” Niall sniffs before speaking, “WeeeEEEEEee will always be together.” 

They stayed that way for some time, pressed into each other’s arms, tears going down their faces, but they didn’t care. 

“Okay, I gotta run.” Zayn is almost inaudible, this was it. It was becoming real. All of this. Leaving the band, leaving his mates to finish the job. He felt like shit, he had a commitment and a promise to millions of people all over the-

“Zayn, you do you man.” Harry grasps his bicep. “We love you and we will take care of those Zayn girls as well as we can.” He had seemed to read Zayn’s mind. He pulled Zayn for a hug and kissed his cheek before letting him go. Harry bites his lip and studies his face for a second and taps his cheek, “You got this.” 

Louis comes up and hugs Zayn from the side, “It’s our job, as your best mate and your band mates-we have your back.” He nods, “And I’m going to miss our deep philosophical moments when we were stoned out of our mind.” Louis chuckles. This was his best friend-first he breaks it off with his girlfriend now his best mate is to go? He sniffs and hugs him tightly before letting him go. 

Liam bit back a sob and hugged him. “Who is going to watch all these bloody Marvel films with me? Who is going to pretend to be a super hero with me?” Liam breaks the hug and Zayn bites his trembling lower lip. “It’s okay, we live in the same city.” Zayn tries to console him and hugs him again. 

Zayn turned to look at Niall, “No more beep beep boop.” He pouts before hugging him tightly. “Okay mate, get better and go get yerself together. We four are ‘ere for ya, now and forever.” Zayn nods and pokes each pec and Niall’s stomach. Niall laughs and does the same. 

 

After one last group hug, Zayn left the room with a wave and a sniffle, “I know you will continue to be the best band in the world.”. The others stared at each other. 

“I-uh-I gotta go.” Liam mumbles and walks out of the room. The other’s disappeared as well, leaving Zayn’s room empty. 

However, as it got later one by one they went back into Zayn’s room, sitting on his bed. Niall was the first one in there, just sitting on the bed, crying. Harry came in next and hugged Niall, they were trying to comfort one another. Louis was next and they all laid on the bed, crying. Liam finally found his way in, tears coming down fast. 

It would never be the same... But they had a promise, a promise to Zayn and to their fans. And right now, they needed each other-so that’s what they did, as much as a break was needed and they wanted. Management still pressed-no matter what they asked. 

Now they must do their best to cope. 

**"Do you think it would be the same if one of us left?”  
** **“No. Definitely not.”**

  


 

 

 


	20. The Luck o' the Craic

You and Niall had gone to bed a little early. You were wearing four leaf covered short and a white tank top to bed, your Crazy Mofos tank top. [[x](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/353391901982938983/)] Niall wore his four leave clover boxers and curled himself around you. Your nails were painted green, Niall was going to put temporary dye in his hair. Everything was planned. 

And you had your own plan in the evening. When you both were well enough drunk...

You woke up before Niall. You knew that this day was going to be fucking crazy, start to finish. And you planned on making it the most well celebrated holiday you possibly could with him. 

You put your hair up and started to pull out all the ingredients for a full Irish breakfast. It took you awhile to cook and you were surprised that Niall was still asleep. The plate was set up and you put a green carnation on the breakfast tray with a strong mug of Irish Breakfast-three sugars. [[x](https://www.google.com/search?q=traditional+irish+breakfast&espv=2&biw=1238&bih=545&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dqoZVZbHIILUggT30oLwCA&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#imgdii=_&imgrc=jl3-MIy9ih13zM%253A%3Bha_SRhC5rHjqKM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi49.tinypic.com%252Fnqojrs.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fpixshark.com%252Ffull-irish-breakfast.htm%3B640%3B480)]

Niall on the other hand, was wide awake. After you had been gone for thirty minutes, this was his favourite holiday, St. Patty’s Day, how could it not? He had gotten you a small something and he was wrapping it up but he was going to give it to you over dinner, at the pub. Not the most romantic place but- He heard your footsteps up the stairs and he hauled ass to bed, putting the gift under the bed. 

“Ni...” Your soft voice rang out as you pushed into the room. And, bless him, he was still sleeping, cuddled into your pillows. “Baby.” You grinned and set the tray on his bed side table. “It’s your favourite holiday! Let’s go.” You straddle his “sleeping” figure to the bed and start to kiss down his neck. 

He grins as he “wakes up”. “Hey baby, happy Patty’s day.” Niall looks up at you and cups your cheek, “Gonna need a kiss, ‘cause I’m Irish, ya know?” His grin turns into a smirk. You lean down and kiss him roughly. 

“Yeah, I do know.” You murmur and kiss him again before sitting up and reaching over for the tray. “Traditional Irish breakfast for my traditional Irishman.” 

* * *

 

The pub was crowded and everyone was pressed against one another. Niall couldn’t breathe. This was a bad idea. He had a table reserved, he refused the offer of going through the back. Why? He couldn’t tell you. 

You saw the sick look on his face and sheer panic that was slowly starting to set into his eyes. Your hands cupped his cheeks, “My eyes, watch me Horan, watch me.” You breathed slowly in and out for him to mimic, but then the crowd pressed again and he stumbled towards you, pressing against you, you could feel him shaking. 

There was nowhere to go, to escape. Your eyes searched quickly as you tried to shove your way through the crowd, you had Niall put his fingers through your belt loop. 

Pushing your way through, the two of you ended up in the ladies’ restroom. You put the can in front of the door so no one else could get in. You take a few steps away from Niall and bite your lip. “Breathe baby.” You murmur gently, leaning against the stall. 

Niall was severely lucky to have you with him in that moment, he honestly wouldn’t have known what to do. He would have had an attack right there in the middle of the crowd. He took a few deep breaths. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t, it’s my job to make sure you’re okay.” You murmur and go over to kiss his cheek when you notice that he had settled down. 

Niall hugged you tightly and reached into his pocket. “I know da ladies’ loo isn’t da  _most_  romantic place. But I wanted to give this to ya for St. Patty’s Day and I-I think it’s ri’ after something like dat.” He handed you the small wrapped box. 

You giggle at the poor wrapping job and open it. You looked up at him when it revealed the black velvet ring box, “Ni...” You would have thought he would have planned something a bit more extravagant for an engagement. 

“’S’not. Just open it.” Niall knew where your mind went. “I’d plan something much more.” He murmurs. 

You nod and open it. The ring was gorgeous. “Oh Niall.” The stones were green and the metal was a white gold. [[x](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/220113500514541860/)]

“I think it’s a nice promise ring... Ya know?” He smiles as he comes up to put it on your left hand ring finger. 

It fit perfectly. 

You nod, tearing up, “I love you.” You whisper and hug him tightly. 

* * *

 

You and Niall were escorted home by his security guard, sitting in the back of his Rover because you two were much too inebriated to drive. Too much of that green beer, Bailey's, and many other types of alcohol.

You two were sloppily making out. Niall missed your face more often than not. His tongue on the corner of your mouth more so than in your mouth.

The guard turned around and looked at you, "Okay you two. Take this to your bedroom."

 _The bedroom_. You had plans for him. You nod and thank the guard and pull Niall out. You two are full of laughs as you two stumble up the stairs.

You push Niall up against the door, "You, are going to lay on the bed." You nod and kiss down his neck. "I'm gonna give you a great surprise."

Niall nods and he goes and strips as well as he can without eating shit to lay in the bed, naked. His eyes on the closet doors.

You fell into the wall as you strip down. You grab the green corset that you had found earlier in the month. You had to focus to put on the garter belt and the black stockings with a cute black lace thong. [[x](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/176555247861241167/)]

You put on your heels and you almost break your ankle getting to the bed, but for the sake of being sexy… Niall sits up, "Well fuck."

He bites his lip and pulls you to lay down on the bed. "Fuck, ya look so sexy." You kick off your heels.

A giggle comes from you and you look up at him, "Kiss me, I'm Irish." You whisper and Niall complied.

The kiss was hot, sloppy, and greedy. Niall pulls away, "Yer fuckin' gorgeous. I don' know how I got so lucky." He growls and attempts to hurriedly unclip the corset. He groans at your the sight of your chest, "I love yer tits." You nod and pull him down so his face pressed against your boobs. He moans and starts to tug off your thong. "'m gonna fuck ya so good." He grows frustrated with your thong and rips it off of you.

You want to be angry, but you can’t. That was replaceable and you love it when he is rough like that.

Now, both you and Niall are naked-well part way, you were still in your stockings. He spreads your legs and presses himself against your before teasing the head of his dick up and down your opening. You moan softly until he pushes himself into you.

A loud whimper of pleasure comes from you and he groans out, “Ya get tighter, yeah?” His glazed blue eyes come to rest on yours.

You shrug, “Just fuck me.” You breathe out. Niall nodded and started to move in and out of you. “Oh f-fuck.” Your eyes close as you purposely tighten around him and he leans down to bite your shoulder. You cry out his name softly and knot your hands in his hair.

Niall starts to make his thrusts deeper, going at a steady pace. You force your eyes open, you loved watching Niall fuck you-even though this was more love making. Your hands slipped down to grip his biceps and you felt them bulge as he moved each time.

Your nails began to dig into his arms as he moved faster. One hand reached up to grip the headboard and keeps moving roughly and you snake your hand down to rub your clit. You were getting close anyways.

The clit stimulation and the way Niall angled his thrusts to hit your gspot. A rush of pleasure took you by surprise and you found yourself screaming out Niall’s name over and over again.

That only encouraged him to go harder and faster. “Oh fuck!” He groans out, going faster and harder. He cums in you-both of you still drunk. You’d worry about that later.

Niall pulls out and rolls off of you. He glances at the clock. 12. “Dat’s da end of St. Patty’s Day baby.”

“A great fuckin’ end.” You whisper and roll over to press yourself tightly against his side.

He wraps his arms around you, “I’ve got the luck o’ the craic you know.” He smirks.

You nod, “I know you do.” He looks down at you and he pecks your lips lightly. “Love you baby.”

“I love you more my Irishman.” You whisper and press your face into his neck


	21. Relationships Are About Respect

You and Niall had started dating and he knew that you were different when it came to sex. But Niall just thought you were holding onto your virginity until marriage. 

But you weren’t doing that. You just.... There was little to no sexual drive. It was rare you felt yourself get wet and wanted more than just the kisses you two sometimes shared. 

You were asexual and you were confident in that. But this new relationship... It made you nervous about what would be done in the future between the two of you in regards to your physical nature.  

* * *

 

You stare at the computer, chewing your lip slightly. The computer’s history was on the screen before you. 

Pornhub, Redtube, and other various sites’ history was there. You sigh. You needed to address it with Niall. Tell him “what” you are. 

What if he left you? What if he decided to leave you because you couldn’t  _always_  be there to pleasure him in the way he absolutely craves? You just... You couldn’t. You knew there would be a few times and times would come where you felt the need more, but those were rare. 

With shaking fingers, you shut off the computer. You sigh heavily. What are you going to do? He would for surely leave. 

Niall loved sex. It was obvious. You knew he had a fleshlight, he watched porn... Would he stay after you made it clear that you just don’t... You don’t feel like that? You loved him, you really did. 

You were sitting nervously on the couch, picking at your jeans. How were you going to address all of this?

Niall walked into the flat, “There she is!” He grins and comes over to kiss your forehead. 

God, you loved kisses. You loved the romantic affection and just that touching. Kisses were nice. 

You smile up at him-though your smile was weak and didn’t really reach your eyes. Niall frowns a bit, “Baby, what is it?” He sits next to you and rub your shoulder lightly. 

“C-Can we talk about something?” You say, looking at your fingers.

Niall had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Fuck. Oh god, this was it. You were going to leave him. Maybe it was the media? His lack of being home? He tried to be home as often as possible... But maybe you couldn’t-

“Ni?” You ask softly, having watched him zone out. 

“Yeah, o’course. Just, know I love ya.” He murmurs and cups your cheek. 

You smile and rest your hand over his and pulls it down to put it back on his lap. “I love you Niall. A lot.” You nod, “And this isn’t you.” You murmur. “This is just the way I am.” 

Niall frowns and rubs his face, “Pl-please don’ leave me baby.” He whispers and goes to reach for your hand. “I-I love ya. What we ‘ave... I haven’ felt like dis in a very long time.” He chews on his lip. 

You frown, cupping his cheeks, “That’s not it at all.” You shake your head pull him in for a hug. “I just need to tell you something that has been worrying me.” You speak quietly. 

“What is it?” He pulls away to look at you. 

“I-I know you think I’m not into sex and that I am waiting until marriage but that’s not it.” You chew on your lip. God, he was afraid of you leaving him but now it was a lot of the other way around. 

He frowns a bit, “Well, what is it then?” He asks, rubbing your arms lightly. “Ya can tell me anythin.” 

With a deep breath, you feel your cheeks reddening and you avoid his eyes.  _No. Stop_. This is  _nothing_  to be  _embarrassed, ashamed_  or nervous about. If he doesn’t respect this or respect you for it. You’re done. 

You don’t need that. Or someone that doesn’t respect you for what you feel. They can go fuck themselves. 

You take another breath, “I’m asexual. But not sex repulsed.” You say simply. 

Niall stares blankly at you. “What?” His brows furrow. Asexual? Does that mean you like more than one sex? Or you like lots of sex, or-

“It means that I do not have a sex drive. For me, it’s really really rare for me to be turned on and want more than just being with someone.” You interrupt his thoughts. 

“So we ain’t ever gonna have sex?” He frowns a bit. Niall loves sex and here you are saying you don’t feel that way. 

This was it. The question. “I’m not going to say never. But it will be very rare for us to have sex.” You bite your lip. “I-If you don’t think you can be with someone like me. That’s fine. Being celibate is not everyone’s thing. But I just don’t feel that.”

“I never gotten you wet?” He looks a bit defeated. The amount of times you turned him on was crazy. And if he never turned you on-

“It’s not your fault. I’m sure you do a great job. It just doesn’t always do it for me... Well, it never does it-”

“Have I ever turned you on?” He asks seriously, you two have been together for a year now. And if he couldn’t do it  _once_ -

“Yes.” You answer honestly. 

“So there is hope?” He raises his brow. 

“I can’t promise anything. So I won’t.” You chew your lip. 

Niall takes a deep breath, “I think I need a few moments.” He gets up and leaves the room. 

What the fuck? After that speech about loving you and never feeling this way?

Niall paced in the other room. Okay. He loves you. SO much that it physically pained him. But at least you weren’t sex repulsed. So sex could still sometimes happen. But honestly, now that he thinks about it, sex wasn’t all that was to a relationship. It’s been a year since he’s had sex and he survived. He loved you and respected you and valued you. 

Then why did he have to go think about it?

The front door open then slammed shut. Niall was confused and saw that you had left. He ran after you, “Y/N, where ya off to?” 

“Obviously me not wanting sex every other minute seems to be a problem.” You wipe angrily at the tears that fell. You shouldn’t feel like this! 

“No, no. I-I dunno why I said I had to think about it. I was bein’ selfish.” He murmurs and takes his hands in yours. “I love ya and I’m not losin’ ya because you don’ wan’ what I do. Relationships are about respect and I respect dat about ya.”

Your eyes water up again. “R-really?”

Niall nods, “Yes. Whether we have sex once a week or once a year, I love you and that doesn’t change anything.” He pulls you into his arms. “I just don’ want ta lose ya.” He says seriously. 

You hug him close, “I love you Niall Horan.” You whisper. 

“And I love you. Nothing can change that.” He murmurs. 

Relationships are about respect. And he proved himself to be a respectful man and you couldn’t be more lucky to have caught a guy like him.


	22. Cheaters Never Win

Niall was never home. He was always at the studio… Always on tour… You were lonely. And sometimes, the loneliness got to you.

Though, sometimes it was hard. The media knew who you were. But you managed to get him inside the flat.

Who? It wasn’t Niall. It was Jake. You had met him at work and neither of you seemed to care.

He only came over when you felt immensely alone. You snuck him in and snuck him out. Niall never knew. Besides, you felt like he didn’t really care either.

“Oh fuck! Jake, just like that!” You moan out, loudly. Jake was taking you from behind, his cock (not nearly as big as Niall’s-but who’s paying attention… you were) moving quickly, one hand gripping your tit, fingers pinching at your nipple and the other spanking you with each thrust. 

Jake growls and moans loudly as you tighten around him. “Oh shit!” He spanks you again, only going harder.

Niall had gotten home a bit earlier than he had thought and thought it would be a good idea to surprise you. He went by the floral shop to buy you some flowers and a box of chocolates and new golf balls. He wanted to take you golfing. He loved it when you two went golfing together.

He walks inside and calls out to you, “Y/N! I am home!” He is silent for a moment, listening for you to come running to him.

But all he hears are loud moans and soft screams. Niall drops everything that he was holding. The flowers break apart, the chocolate scattered across the floor, the golf balls bouncing around.

 _No_. The blood drained from his face and he felt the need to throw up. Three years. Three fucking years. You were going to throw this all away?

Niall made his way up the stairs, your moans and screams only getting louder. _Jake_. He knew you were close. Niall pushed open the bedroom door and was hit by the stench of sex and naked bodies.

Normally, it would cause him pleasure. But this was _his_ bed, _his_ room, _his_ house, and _his_ girl. He leaned against the wall, watching this Jake fucker plow you. Listened to the moans he should be making you do.

He wasn’t even getting remotely turned on.

You and Jake both cum. You collapse on the bed and Jake lays next to you.

“Well shit, Y/N, that was fuckin’ great.” Jake breathes out. 

“Oh yeah.” You say all but enthusiastically. 

Niall scoffs, “Sure she’s ‘ad bedder. I’m da best she’s ever had… Or so she says.”

Both you and Jake shoot up. Jake curses and runs out, grabbing his clothes but Niall stops him.

“Dis is for fuckin’ me girl.” He socks Jake once in the face-hard enough to the point he heard the bones break in Jake’s nose. 

“Mother fucker!” He yells and runs out. 

“Niall-”

“Don’. Just fuckin’ don’. Get dressed and meet me da fuck downstairs.” He storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. 

You whimper and you start crying. Fuck. You ruined what you had with the greatest guy in the world-all because you felt _alone_. You dress in a tshirt and jeans. You wash your face and put your hair up and head downstairs-head down.

Guilt sinks further into you as you take in the small gifts he had brought home. Your fingers run over the diamond solitaire necklace he had gotten you. You were a fucking cunt.

Niall is standing in the kitchen leaning against the refrigerator, “Care ta explain what da FUCK DAT WAS?!” He ends in a shout.

You whimper and start crying again, “I-I don’t fucking know!” You sob, “I was alone and all you ever seem to do is travel and be gone and leave me at home! I was getting sick of it Niall!”

He leaned forward, his eyes-dead of emotion, his hands rest on the counter. “Ya knew what ya were getting into when we got togeder. This is  me job.” Niall sets his jaw. “I fuckin’ can’ believe dis BULL SHIT!” He pushes the centre piece off of the counter and it shatter-causing you to jump and wince.

With a breath, you try to control your tears and emotions, “Niall, please. Stop.” You plead. “I didn’t love him.” You whisper. “I’ve only ever have loved you.” You murmur.

Niall shakes his head, “No. Fuck ya. Fuck off. I want yer shit out of ME GOD DAMN HOUSE by tonight.”

You cry and rub your face. “No! No yer not allowed to cry, ya did this to yerself and ya fucked us both o’er!” Niall growls, tears pricking in his eyes. “I loved ya with all o’ me. All o’ me fuckin’ heart. I wanted to MARRY YA! I would ‘ave given you ANYDING YA WANTED! But dat still wasn’ good ‘nough, was it?”

Fuck. You try to keep the tears at bay, “Niall, I-

He gets close to you, his face merely inches from yours, “Cheaters never win. Ya won’ win me back or get me back. Fuck ya. I ne’er wanna see ya again.” He storms out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

You fall to the ground, sobbing and gasping. Niall was right. Cheaters never win.

You just sorely lost.


	23. Footie Love

pt. 1

“All right ladies, since I am ready to absolutely pop this baby out of me-I have to take a leave.” Your football coach walks back in forth in front of you.

She was swollen-her stomach huge. She should have left awhile ago, but she was hell bent that she was fine and that she could do it.

And she did it. If anything, she was more harsh and more tough with random break down of tears that left you all extremely nervous. But now, the baby boy was coming and the lot of you couldn’t be more excited.

“In the mean time, this is coach Horan.” She gestures to the blonde-brunette, tall, scrawny, and bloody handsome man.

“Horan, this is the team that you’re going to have to take to championships. I’ll be out for two months on maternity leave.” She nods as she speaks.

It was your senior year, you guys had to win championships. This was your last chance to bring home that huge trophy.

And your team was all ready on it’s way to making it there. Championships were two months away.

“All right ladies, get used to your coach, I am officially on maternity leave!” She waves and you all wave back.

Niall stood with his hands on his hips, looking at the lot of you. “Two miles. Go.” He nods towards the track. “Anyone t'rows up or whines, we’ll add anoder mile.” His accent was thick.

You bite your lip, Irishmen were your favourite.

The team bites their tongue and stretch before getting up and starting.

“Wait! Introduce yerselves as ya run by.” He folds his arms. You were the last one in the line.

“Niall Horan.” He holds out his hand.

“Y/N.” You murmur, your eyes on his. He has a firm handshake but you return the strength. His hand lingered in yours for a bit longer than you felt like you should. But maybe you imagined that? “I-I uh, should get going.”

Niall nods, his gaze breaking, “Well, get goin’ what ya blood waitin’ fer?”

You start out and you are one of the first to finish. You get some water and he wanders next to you. “How fast ya run a mile?”

“In 6 minutes.” You murmur, glancing at him. You caught him running his eyes up and down your body.

“Decent. Hope yer good at sprints too.” He blows his whistle as the last girl brings it in. “We’re doin’ sucide sprints! GO!” He blows his whistle.

Why the _fuck_ were you all fucking running? You had championships two months from now and the lot of you were bloody running! You stop and glare at him.

“Y/N! Do we ‘ave a problem 'ere?” His brows come up a bit and comes to stand in front of you. God, he smelt good. And he looked good. What a twat.

The other girls keep running, intimidated by the intense nature of the new coach.

“Yeah, _Coach Horan_ , we do.” You fold your arms. “Championships are _two fuckin’ months_ are away and you’re having us _run_. We need to be practicing drills! Practice is over in thirty!”

Niall smirks, “Den ya won’ mind stayin’ late den to run some more. Get to it.” He points.

“No.” You fold your arms, giving him a challenging look.

* * *

Practice is done and all of the girls are gone. You say there, rebelling against this. And against him. You wanted that championship for yourself. Not for the bull shit running!

Niall sat next to you, “Start runnin’ I wanna see ya puke.”

You turn to face him. “No.” His shoulder was brushing yours and his face was so close to yours. After a moment of being trapped in those blue eyes, you get up, grabbing the football. You could feel his stare on you and you purposely swayed your hips a bit more.

Niall bites his lip. He had to admit… Your spit fire was kind of a turn on. The blatant disregard was sort of irritating. But he had to remember. He was your football coach. Even though you were seemingly legal-it was the senior varsity team… But he wasn’t going to ask because that would be wildly inappropriate.

He watched you kick the ball into the goal and retrieve it and over and over again. You started to dribble the ball through the cones the other coach had set up just a bit earlier.  

“Oi, kick da ball in da goal, I’ll defend.” He goes and stands in it.

“What happened to "makin me puke”?“ You fold your arms and glare.

"I see ya don’ need ta. Ya need practice on yer kicks.” He nods and takes the defensive position.

Perfect. You now have the chance to nail this extremely hot coach in the head or the balls.

Maybe both.

You kick the ball, trying to make sure it hits his head. And it did. You smirk and put your hand on your hips, “I am SO sorry.”

Niall glared at you, he somewhat knew he deserved it but still. What a fucking little shit you were! “Dats no way fer-”

“Don’t start Horan. Kick it back.” You call out.

This was going to be a long two months.

* * *

Over the course of the next two months, private practices became a normal thing between you and Niall-you mean Coach Horan.

He would help you with your technique. His hands would come to rest on your hips to make sure you had the right position.

It was totally legal. But morally? You both felt odd about it. No kisses had been shared just longing glances and lingering touches…

You wanted more. He wanted more.

But all of this had to wait until after graduation.

First things first though, championships.

You are tied up and it’s overtime. One goal will decide it all.

Niall was nervous, pacing and yelling as he was doing you so. But the lot of you could barely understand what he was yelling on about because his accent got so thick.

You were dripping sweat, your muscles were screaming and the crowd was going crazy. The pressure was on. All you wanted to do was win this thing. That’s it.

The ball was passed to you and you dribble it down the field, around the other girls. You pass when you can’t have it anymore. Your teammate takes it and sees you’re open and could easily make the goal.

Niall saw that. This is what Niall was helping you train for. He was tense, his eyes on you. You felt the pressure of it all.

She makes the pass to you and your body springs-your leg kicks the football into the goal. The goal defender lunges for it but it sales back and hits the net of the goal box. You stand there in awe for a moment.

Everyone was around you screaming and tapping your bum and hug you. But those weren’t the people you wanted around.

You saw Niall and everyone was screaming and the fans started rushing the field.

“Ya did bloody fuckin’ amazin’ Y/N!” He yells and picks you up in a hug and twirls you around. He sets you down and his lips come to yours and you kiss him back out of shock.

The kiss ended as quickly as it started. There were parents and other coaches, your teammates.

But it’s not like you didn’t like it. You did. Very much.

Niall could feel the schlock on his face. He had wanted to to do that for awhile now… But he really should have waited until after you graduated.

Nothing can change now.

* * *

The after party was at your family’s house since you were team captain, it was your duty. You went inside to take care of something and Niall followed after a beat.

You stood in the kitchen, getting more ice and he came up behind you. “Hey.”

You jump and drop the ice. “Hey Niall.”

He smiles softly and helps you pick up the ice. “We uh, we need ta talk.”

You look at him and nod, “Yeah, I think so too.”

“I didn’ mean ta kiss ya-” He sees the hurt in your eyes, “Not sayin’ it wasn’ nice, but it wash’ appropriate fer me position…”

You nod, “I understand Coach Horan.” You nod. This kind of sucked. But you did get it.

Niall cringed at the coach Horan. But it was best for now. “Jus’ until after yer graduation. I want ta do dis right. Widout it seemin like-”

“I said I get it.” You nod and start to head out. Niall catches your wrist.

“Oi, we’ll still see each other until den. But 'fore anythin’ gets serious-ya need ta-”

“I get it!” You turn around and look him dead in the eye, “Okay?”

With a sigh he nods, “Sorry.” He lets you leave you kitchen.

Of course, something like this would happen to him. Of course something like this would happen to you. Footie love was seemingly inevitable after that first day of practice.

Until graduation.


	24. After Graduation

pt. 2

The romance between you and Niall was basically non-existent. All it consisted of was even more “practices”, even if the season was over. You needed to keep your skills sharp for when you went to school.

Thankfully it wasn’t too far away, so you and Niall could work it out. If it ever got there…

He wouldn’t kiss you, would only touch you if he found it completely necessary, but his eyes… His eyes would search yours for what seemed like forever. You could easily get lost in them. You found yourself doing that more and more. Each time you would lean in and he would too, before he realised that he couldn’t.

Not yet. Not until after graduation.

But god, did Niall want to. He loved your dedication to the sport, which made it easy for you to spend time together. It just, it would not be appropriate. Not until later. But for now, he could appreciate the small things with you. The after practice snacks, the bantering going on during the practice. You were going to graduate and it couldn’t be soon enough.

All he could think about was the brief kiss that was shared. He wanted to relive that. He craved a deeper, more intimate kiss… The kiss that would lead to mutual touching and eventually something much more. Niall wanted you. He needed you, it felt.

“So… ya graduate tomorra.” Niall catches the ball before wiping the thin layer of sweat. 

You nod, jogging up to him, “Yup. You going to be there?” You raise your brow and search his eyes.

“Y/N… I wouldn’ miss it fer da world.” His eyes stared into yours with the promise of being there. 

There it was again, the intense stare that goes passed your guards, slipping through like a ghost. Not that you wanted to stop it. You really liked him and what he stood for.

With all of you, you knew it was better for this relationship to wait. At least it’s not too long at this point.

“Thanks Niall.” You murmur and reach out for the ball but he takes your hand instead, intertwining your fingers together. His hand was rough with callouses and they felt strong.

You were not used to this type of touching. Not used to this feeling that rooted in the pit of your stomach. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he brought your fingers up to his lips as he kisses them, “Yer welcome Y/N.” He whispers against your fingers.

You knew that all your waiting was going to pay off in the end. Waiting for graduation… Waiting for him.

Niall knew it was only one day left, but he wanted to just fuck it all. But it would not be fair to either of you if he did that.

“All right love, off ya go. Gotta go get yer beauty sleep.” He teases and lets go of your fingers and tosses you the ball. 

Rolling your eyes, you pull him into a hug. “See ya tomorrow.” You pull away and head off, knowing full well his eyes were on your arse.

But that didn’t matter to you.

* * *

“Y/N!” You walked across the field, hearing your family and friends scream for you. You knew Niall was up there. One glance up the bleachers and you see his blonde head up there with everyone else. 

He was cheering loudly with everyone else. It wasn’t solely that you two would be able to date. That was almost last on his priority list. You have accomplished one of the milestones in your life, and as your coach and as your friend, he couldn’t be any more proud of you.

Everything for you passed in a blur. It ended. So many bloody pictures were taken with everyone. You made sure to get one with Niall and he was more than happy to oblige.

It was all madness, after all was said and done and you had gotten home. You were knackered. Your graduation party wasn’t for a week. And grad night was tomorrow.

You laid in bed, not even taking off your graduation dress when there is a knock on your door. Your mum lets herself in, “Sweetie, Coach Horan is here to see you.” She smiles knowingly.

Mothers.

You nod and slip on your flats and head down stairs. “Niall.” You grin and see him holding flowers. “Thank you.”

“No need fer t’anks. Dese are much deserved.” He nods, handing you the roses. “Ya hungry? ‘m starvin, I t’ink we should go get food.”

You giggle and nod, grabbing your purse, “Couldn’t agree more.”

* * *

Niall sat across from you, his eyes on yours, your fingers laced with his. Dinner was full of laughs and handholding.

This was going a lot better than planned.

“Y/N, we need ta talk…” Niall trails off and chews on his top lip. 

You frown, “Okay, go ahead.” You nod for him to continue. You had waited for graduation, like he said. If he ended it now… It would be a fuck all. And probably hurt a lot more than you’re willing to admit.

“I really, really like ya.” He starts off, much to your relief. “I want t’ings ta work out ‘tween us, yeah?” Niall nods, smiling softly at you. “I kept t’inking, how was I gonna do dat with ya? I t’ink it needs ta go slow with us.” 

The relief that was coursing through you was almost intoxicating. Taking slow was even better. Sure you wanted to ravage him with your body, but… You really wanted this to work out with him.

“Niall, that’s fine.” You smile and squeeze his fingers. “Honestly, I prefer it that way.” You nod as you speak, searching his eyes. 

“Oh good.” He nods with relief. “And uh, don’ t’ink it’s ‘cause I don’ want you. I do. I jus’ believe in respect in dat way for ya.” 

You smile again, your grin huge. Niall was one of the sweetest guys you knew. “I’m happy we talked about it then.” You speak, your eyes studying his.

He flushes and looks down, “T’ink it’s a good idea ta get ya home.”

After paying the tap, you two drive back, his hand in yours. You trace his veins on the back of his hand. “You were such an arse in the beginning.” You giggle and shake your head.

“And ya were a fuckin liddle shit, ya know?” He squeezes your fingers, “But dats fine, yer rebellious nature got ta me. I knew I had ta have ya.” Niall, brings your fingers up to his mouth again. 

Niall walks you to the door, his hand in yours. It was so nice to finally have this with him. You had wanted it for so long. You felt lucky. As did Niall.

“Well, thank you for dinner. And the roses, they are beautiful.” You nod and play with your house keys a bit. “I hope to see you tomorrow at my grad party?” You raise your brows a bit at him. 

“I’ll be dere.” He smiles and pulls you a little closer. 

Your heart started to pound, a flush worked its way up your chest to your cheeks. The first kiss was so spontaneous, it was almost not even real.

But this was the real deal.

You look up at him and pull him closer this time and he smiles, leaning down for the kiss. You get up on your tip toes and meet him in the middle.

His lips were warm and soft. He tasted of pizza and the guinness he had with dinner… But there was something else. His hand came to cup your cheek, holding you to him.

Your kiss was exactly what he had imagined it to be, soft, gentle, perfect. Everything he wanted too.

Before he got any ideas or you did. He pulled away, “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He murmurs with a soft kiss to the forehead.

You nod and wave, going inside. The fluttery feeling in your stomach not fading.

All you two had to do was wait until after graduation.

And you did.


	25. Best Friend for Comfort

“Ah yes! Fuck me harder! Fuck, god, so good!” Her screams were loud and Niall could hear them as soon as he walked into the house.

What the actual fuck? He goes up the stares and sees her personal trainer fucking her. Of course. He was so fucking blind. Niall stood there for a moment before going over and shoving him off of her. “You and I? We’re fuckin’ done, get yer shit outta ‘ere!” He spits out. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Gone, all of dis fuckin’ shit. You and I? We’re fuckin’ done!” Niall storms out of the room and  goes to his car. His first choice as it always will be, calling you.

His very best friend of a very long time.

Little did her know that you were in love with him. You felt pathetic for being so. But how could you help it? You grew up with him and he was always there for you and you were always there for him.

No matter what.

“Hey Ni! What a nice surprise-”

“Y/N, I need to come over right now.” Niall’s voice was thick, as if he was holding back tears. Fuck.

You bite your lip, “Of course, you know you could just show up, I-”

“See you soon.” He interrupts and hangs up on you.

You get dressed, pulling on leggings and a long jumper. There was a knock at your door and you hurried to answer it,s eyeing a blood shot eyed Niall.

“Oh Ni!” You pull him into your arms. You were significantly shorter than he was but her slouched down to bury his face in your shoulder.

“She was fuckin’ cheatin’ on me!” He started to cry a bit and you rub his back.

You pull Niall to sit on the couch with you and his face presses into your chest. You run your fingers through his hair, “Hush Niall, let’s not thing about the fucking cunt.” You try to soothe him and keep running your fingers through his hair. “She lost such a great guy!”

“Why couldn’ I keep 'er den?” He sniffs, pressing harder into your chest.

“Because, she obviously didn’t want to be kept. She didn’t appreciate nor love you for who you are Niall. Don’t let that get to you. It’s selfish and hurtful and I never liked her.” You say quietly, kissing the side of his head gently. “Don’t let yourself be like this. You’re going to let her win.”

Niall sits up and wipes at his eyes. “I’m sorry Y/N, it’s not fair fer me ta be barging in on ta dis late at night.” He shakes his head.

“No, no, Niall, love.” You cup his cheeks and make him look at you. “It’s fine. This is what best friends are for. Best friends are for comfort. And that’s what I am here for. For anything.” You whisper, your eyes staring intently into his. His eyes stayed on yours and you felt yourself getting lost in the sea of the blue, drowning in his soul.

You blink a couple of times and look down, your hands faltering on his cheeks before going back to your lap.

Niall was in awe for a moment. Your eyes on his, the way you seemed to look to the very core of his being… No other woman looked at him the way you just had. You seemed to strip him of his barriers, strip him of the things of who is was and saw straight to the core of his being.

What did you see when you saw that deep? Obviously it was something you loved if you were still around and you would still say you love him…

“Wait…” He murmurs and cups your cheek. “I love ya, Y/N.” He says seriously.

Niall was such a bloody idiot! Of course it never really worked out for long with the other girls, you were always apart of his life. Always going to be there.

You blink, “I love you Niall, always have and always will.” You didn’t really get the meaning behind it this time.

“No, I 'ave been an idiot. I love ya.” He says again, both hands cupping your cheeks this time. “I love ya. I’ve been blind ta it fer so long. I love ya.”

You sit there, mouth gaping. He what? No. He’s vulnerable. “Niall, you’re confused, You don’t love-”

“Who is always dere when I call? Who is always there to 'elp me? Who is da girl that I know me life wouldn’ be da same without? You.” WIth that, Niall leans in to give you a kiss.

The kiss was everything you knew it would be.

You had kissed other guys but this… This was nothing ilk that.

His lips molded against yours perfect. The roughed callous nature of his hands cupped your smooth cheeks and his lips were soft. His taste was a hint of peppermint and Bushmills, his favourite Irish whiskey.

And it was all Niall.

You pull away and rest your forehead against his, “I love you Niall.” You whisper, your lips still brushing against his as you speak.

He smiles slightly and pulls you closer and you shift to straddle him to the couch.

You wanted this as much as he did.

But you were afraid that you were being the rebound.

He kissed you roughly this time, nipping at your bottom lip.

God how you loved biting. And he knew it too. There wasn’t much that you two didn’t know about each other.

In all of that, you still loved each other.

He grinded you against him and a soft whimper escaped your lips.

You needed to stop this. As you pulled your mouth away from his, his lips began to trail down your neck.

You shiver and the words that were in your head, gone. The simple pleasure of his open mouthed kisses on your neck, blur your vision and cause another whimper to come from you.

You could feel his hardness against you. And Niall knew exactly what he was doing.

Now that he realised his feelings for you, there was nothing that made him want to stop. He wanted to taste you and become familiar with all of you.

As your hands pressed on his shoulders to push him back, you searched his eyes, “Ni… I’m not a rebound.” You whisper, shifting off of his lap.

Niall wants to laugh. “Oh me love, yer so much more den dat.” He says seriously. “But we’ll take it slow.”

You smile softly shaking your head, this couldn’t be happening. “Thank you.” You murmur and hug him, face burying in his neck.

“T'anks fer not jus’ leavin’ me when I was too blind ta see.” His eyes on yours.

“I’m here for you.” You kiss him lightly, “Always.”


	26. Just... Picking Up the Kids...

Niall checks his rearview mirror, smiling at the two sleepy but beaming faces that were sitting in the back of the car. Being a single dad was tough, it was time consuming and hell, it kept him tired. But for his son and daughter, he would do anything for them. Whatever they needed from him, he would do.

“Daddy do we have guitar lessons today?” His son looked up at him with big blue eyes.

Niall shakes his head, “No, today you go to uncle Louis’ for football practice.”

“I love going to uncle Louis’ house! He lets us-”

“Sh! Remember what Uncle Louis told us!” Robert hushed his little sister.

Niall chuckle a bit, he knew what was going on behind the closed door of Uncle Louis’, the ice cream, the video games… He didn’t mind. The kids needed that too.

“Let’s go my kiddies!” He grins and gets out of the car, helping Robert and Lily out of the car. “I will pick you up right after school and have snacks and your football gear!” He looked at his eight year old and six year old. “I love you two very very much.” He grins and nod at them. “Give daddy some love.” He speaks gently.

They giggle and run over to hold him tightly and kiss both of his cheeks. “Okay, learn a lot!” They nod and run off to go through the front doors of the school. He straightens and glances around the school yard and his eyes land on you.

Whoa.

His eyes drop to your hands and there is no band on your finger and you were gorgeous and seemingly only one kid.

She looked just like you.

You cup her cheeks, “I know this is your first day baby, but you got this!” You smile widely at your daughter, she was only seven, in second grade, and completely nervous.

“But muuuum. All of these kids will all ready have friends! I don’t like making new friends!” Her lower lip juts out in a pout and a sniffle.

“It’s going to be okay Addy, I promise.” You smile and search your daughter’s eyes. “You’re going to make so many new friends. And it will be fun! The second grade is soo zoo fun!” You hug her tight. “Off you go before you’re late petal.” You tap her bum and she slowly makes her way to the front and turns to give you a solemn look before going into the school.

Niall watched her. He hadn’t seen either daughter or mother at any school events or PTA meetings. Yes, Niall was a proud member of the PTA.

He starts to approach you, but you’re gone as fast as he saw you. As soon as your daughter made it through the door, you had to go to work. You were all ready running a bit late.

Niall sighs to himself, he wanted to meet you. You were gorgeous and also a parent. Honestly, a perfect combination.

* * *

For a bit, Niall just watched you from afar, whenever there was a drop off or a pick up. It wasn’t until Lily walked out with your daughter, holding hands, he was finally able to-well he had to introduce himself if they were going to have to meet.

He goes to meet Robert and Lily and this mystery girl. “Hey kiddos! ‘Ow did school go today?” He crouches before the three of the kids.

“Daddy! I made a new friend. She’s a year older than I am! But but-”

Niall smiles, “Dats wonderful honey, what’s 'er name?”

“I’m Addy.” Addy’s words are barely above a whisper.

“Well, Addy, I’m Niall, Lily’s daddy.”

Her eyes are round as she speaks. “H-Hi.”

You had walked up just as she said hi.

Noticing Niall and his children here. Niall was handsome as ever, and he left his hair down… God damn it.

“Addy, sweetie!” You breathe out and she lights up going to hug you tightly.

“Mummy! I missed you!” She hugs your waist, her face burying in your stomach.

Niall smiles at the two of you. “Hi, I’m Niall, Niall Horan. Deir dad.” He holds his hand out for you.

“Oh, hi, I’m Y/N, Addy’s mum.” You smile shyly.

You had seen him earlier, dropping off the kids and picking them up. He was really handsome, but you could never work the courage up to approach him.

And here Addy made friends with his daughter.

“Daddy, can Addy come over to play?” She looked up at Niall, her eyes wide.

“Daddy! Today is guitar lessons!” Robert folds his arms.

“Oh then that-”

“Okay, Robert, you and I will do guitar lessons and the girls can play in her room, yeah?” Niall ruffles Robert’s hair. He looks to you, “You can come over if you want to get to kind of know who I am and that I am not crazy.” He chuckles.

It was such a nice sounds. “Oh that’s sounds-”

“Mummy please!” Addy whines.

“What? I was going to say yes! You silly.” You giggle and crouch to kiss her cheek. “I’ll just follow you?” Your eye brows come up a bit.

Niall nods a bit. “Sounds fantastic.”

* * *

The kids were in the back, playing with Niall’s dog, Sheep. You and Niall could hear the squeals and laughter from the kids as they chased his around.

“So… Is it just you and the kids?” You ask quietly, sipping at a glass of wine.

“Yeah.” He nods, “Their mum met someone during me final tour who was still goin’ ta be tourin and rakin in  a lot of money and she left.” Niall shrugs.

You nod, “I’m sorry. I mean, I caught her dad cheating, so I understand a bit.” You sigh softly and shrug a bit.

“Dats awful, I am so sorry!” His hand came to cover yours for a moment. You smile shyly at him and shrug again. “If it’s not ta forward… I’d like ta take ya on a date, widout our children…” The blush that covers Niall’s cheeks is adorable and absolutely flattering.

“I, um, I would like that.” You nod, “Quote a lot.” You smily shyly.

“Perfect. Just to think, If I never dropped off the kids…” Niall shakes his head a bit, chuckling.

“We wouldn’t have a date for Friday!” You giggle.

* * *

**_Two and Half Years Later_ **

“I do.” Niall says confidently and looks at you.

Who would have known? Honestly?

“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride.” The priest nods and smiles softly.

Niall takes your face in his hands and kisses you long and deeply.

The kids squealed and covered their eyes, saying it was gross.

This was it, the two of you and putting your family together. And they were all young enough where they can still bond and make this family a beautifully blended one.

Picking up the kids lead to a conjoining of two families.

They all couldn’t be any happier.


	27. On the Train

Today was the day. He was finally going to talk to you. Niall had been watching you from across the train for months now. As creepy as that sounds, your beauty was hypnotizing and he knew that he needed to talk to you. He knew you were the one. But he couldn’t pluck up the courage. It was silly, but he knew that you were _the one_. He fell in love with you.

He would notice how you were always on the train before he was, who your hair was perfectly curled and pinned up, there was not  wrinkle in your blouse, the same faint smile on your lip. The gorgeous nature of eyes, they always seemed so kind and deep.

But today was the day.

You had notice Niall long before he had noticed you. He was almost always late for the train. But, even though he was always late, he was always handsome. Those blue eyes seem to pierce through you. When you would watch him, you would notice all of those little things. The way his shirt would be untucked on one side, his hair would be ruffled, the couple of papers he would seemingly drop over and over again.

You found it utterly adorable. But could you ever work up the nerve to talk to him? No. Even as handsome that he is. You felt like he was out of your league. Even though you felt like he was _the one_. You know you had grown to fall in love with him, as silly as that was. You couldn’t help it.

Niall walked onto the train, actually on time and just as you were about to comment to him about his on time nature, he beat you to it.

“Look at dat, no running ta catch da train.” He chuckles a bit, his eyes going to yours.

They were even more blue than you had previously thought. “And a shirt tucked in! Oh! And a brief case?!” You giggle and keep your eyes on his. You wanted to blush and look away, you gave away that you have almost, watched him?

Niall grins, you were watching him too over the time. “And ya are always so prim and proper, not a hair outta place.”

You flush and bite your lip.

God, you were gorgeous. “I’m Niall.” He holds his hand out for you to shake.

“Y/N.” You take his hand.

Your hand was so soft and delicate in his strong and calloused one.

“Pleasure, love.” He smiles softly.

His accent made you feel weak in the knees, but you had to hold yourself together. “I couldn’t agree more.” You nod a bit.

All the while this was happening, the flirting, the shy smiles, the giggles. The train was gaining speed, the conductor keeping careful eye on the way everything was ran.

His mistake though… He didn’t slow around one of the bends. One of the most crucial thing to happen when taking a bend.

“So, I was t'inkin’, instead of us both goin’ home after work… We could go ta dinner or somethin'…” He chews his top lip a bit and searches your eyes.

“I would-”

The bend came and the train was going to fast, it started to derail. The excess speeds were too much for it.

It completely derailed, throwing the passengers around were being thrown about.

The screams were loud, the crushing sounds of the car were even louder. Niall had been thrown on top of you before you two were separated again. The lights seem to get brighter for both of you.

You didn’t even give him the satisfaction of telling him yes. That you would love to.

He would never know that you said yes. Niall wouldn’t feel that immense feeling of butterflies that you felt when he had asked you.

Today was the day for the beginning… But it was actually the ending for the end.

Today was that day.


	28. Unlucky Run-Ins

You paid for your coffee and thank the barista. You loved this little coffee shop. It was what your favourite, you spent so much time here.

It was your escape with your break up with Niall. You felt so close to home here. You were alone in this country and this was the only thing that seemingly kept you sane.

You turn away from the counter and run into another person.

“Oh bloody-I am so sorry!” You start to try and pat at his chest.

You recognised that broad, trim chest.

Fuck.

“Don’ worry about it, kidden.” Niall smirked down at you. 

Niall knew what he was doing, calling you by your old nick name, “kitten”, showing up at the place that is closest to you. But he wasn’t sure how else to get into contact with you. 

The few times he had tried to contact you to say sorry and try to make it up to you, it wouldn’t go through. You had gotten a new number. But Niall only wanted to try and make things right with you. He loved you. And he was sure you still loved him. 

You were furious! For fucks sake, this was your one special place and Niall basically had infiltrated it.

“Niall.” You say flatly. He was the last person you wanted to see. But here you both were.

“‘aven’t changed much, 'ave we?” His brows comes up and gets a napkin and goes to wipe at your chest.

You step back, your hands coming up to stop him from wiping at your chest, “I can do it.” You take the napkins and wipe at your own chest.

Niall knew where to find you. You had dumped him and he didn’t necessarily take that too well. But neither did you. You both loved each other but it was no longer working out.

It had been at least six months since the two of you last saw each other. And here he was, invading your special place.

“'Ow 'ave ya been?” His brows come up as he starts to order his drink, “Oh, can I get ya another?”

“No.” You say simply and the barista gives you a new one, free of charge.

“Oh, well den.” He laughs a bit. “I’ve been wonderful, t'anks for asking.” He teases. “Dating much?” He wanted to know every little thing, where you have been, how was work, anyone new obviously.

“Yeah.” You say simply going to sit in a single chair table, but he pulled up a chair. For fucks sake.

“Well, 'ow was it?” His eyes searched yours.

“Had to pay for a couple of my own meals and they didn’t get a second date.” You shrug.

“I mean… I can always treat ya out next Friday night…”

You snort, “Right, hard pass Niall. Thank you.” You sip at your drink and try to start the book you’ve been trying to finish.

“Oh, well, if ya 'ave anymore dates ya 'ave ta pay for… I can wire ya da money.” He smirks and raises his brows.

You roll your eyes, “Thanks but no.”

Niall shrugs, “Still know yer account information anyways.” His eyes go to yours, “But dats none of my business.” He takes a drink of his tea.

“You’re right, it’s not. Neither is my dating life, or where I get my tea. So if you wouldn’t mind? I have quite a bit to do.” You murmur and start to pack up.

“Ya and I both know dat dats not true.” He says, taking your book hostage. “Take a seat, and let’s catch up, yeah?”

You close your eyes. One of the many reasons you broke up with him. You sit down and fold your arms. “Well, what?” You raise your brows.

“Aren’t ya gonna ask me 'ow I’ve been?” He all but pouts.

Gritting your teeth and focusing on not rolling your eyes. “How have you been? Seeing anyone?”

“Been fine yeah, but not seeing anyone, could never find anyone like ya.” He winks at you and you rub your face. “I see ya still carry the purse I gave ya.”

Of course you did. It was ten thousand dollars. You nod a bit, “Yeah, just because things didn’t work out between the two of us, doesn’t mean I let a perfectly good purse go to waste.”

“Do ya miss me?” He asks, ignoring the purse.

Without missing a beat, you answer, “No.”

“Ouch, dat kinda hurts.” Niall frowns a bit.

You scoff, “No. What kinda hurts is when you told me you loved me, then turned around in our fights and told me you hated me and I was a bitch. What hurts is when you threw away my gift because you were mad. All of this happening before we broke up.” Your eyes were hard on his. “Don’t sit here and try to tell me what I am saying hurts. I should have left long before I did.” You shake your head.

Niall glares at you, “Well, maybe if ya didn’ always over react!” He shakes his head, “T'anks fer reminding why it was such a good idea!”

You sigh, “Stop. Niall. Honestly.” You shake your head. “You knew I came here. You came here to find me. Why?”

“Doesn’ madder now, I remembered why we broke, I had seemed to forgot.” His eyes get darker the longer he glares down at you.

You want to cower, look down, apologize and take him back. Fold under him like you always would. Let him have his way. Never had he hit you. But you both got into some decent screaming matches. 

But you’re better than that and better than all of this. You were not that coward. “Seemed like you had. I remember it quite clearly.”

“Ta dink I loved ya.” He shakes his head.

“I loved you! I never not once didn’t! It took me a long time to get over you and over all of this.” You gesture between the two of you. “But you were no longer good for me, And I don’t think I was good for you either.” You shrug.

Niall sighs. He wasn’t over it. He honestly wasn’t sure he would be anytime soon either. “I’m sorry Y/N, I honestly am. I wasn’ a good man fer ya.”

You shrug, at this point, it was just an apology. It didn’t change your mind about him or about any of this.

It was all just an unlucky run in.

“I really ought to be off now, I’ll maybe see you around.” You reach over and take the book from his grip.

 You knew you hurt his feelings. You knew all of this was hurtful in general. But honestly, it didn’t matter.

You were no longer his, nor was he yours, to even worry about really. “Bye Niall.” You murmur and head out of the cafe, waving to the concerned looking barista.

“Bye…” He murmurs. He knew he lost something great and it was his fault. All of this was just… It was a bad idea on his part.

He sits there for a moment longer, living in what used to be and what could have been before leaving the cafe for a last time, knowing he wasn’t going to be going back anytime soon.

Because, it frankly wasn’t his place to be. And he wasn’t going to make anymore unlucky run ins happen.


	29. Breaking Curfew

Your eyes kept flitting to your watch. Fuck. The towns curfew was closing in-you had to be back home or else you would get a ticket and they weren’t fucking cheap either. 

It was your first two weeks in the new town that you moved to. You take the next turn and you realised it was the wrong one and now you were: 1) terribly and utterly lost and 2) you were in the bad part of town. 

Your hands start to shake a little bit and the nerves started to grow a little out of control. From where you were you were at least an hour away (by walking that is) and that was not nearly enough time. You dig into your purse to call the police to take you back. You were scared, lost, and going to get ticketed. 

Niall watched you come down onto the alleyway and knew you were too vanilla to be there. He took a deep drag off of the fag, enjoying the sound of it burning. He let the smoke curl around his face and he watches you dig through your purse. “Hey dere.” 

You jump, dropping your phone. You watch the screen shatter and you look over at where the voice came from, a squeak coming from you. “I-I have pepper spray!” You started digging through your purse again. 

He smirks as your phone’s screen shatters and he had to keep himself from laughing “Oi, oi, beautiful, I ain’ ‘ere ta hurt ya. Yer in a dangerous part of da city, ya know dat princess?” A tattooed and pierced guy walks out of the shadows. He drops his fag and crushes it underneath the toe of his steel toed boot. 

“I do.” You had gotten your hands around your pepper spray, just in case he gets too close to you. 

“And curfew is soon…” His brows shoot up and he folds his arms and leans against the light post. 

“I know.” You were growing frustrated with him. “I know all of this. You’re jst stating the bloody obvious.” You snap and realise you very, most likely, fucked yourself over. “I, uh, I did not-”

His laughs cut you off and you stay frozen in your spot. “Oh princess, ya ‘ave some sass. Let’s get ya home.” He nods and starts walking. “Where do ya live?” 

“I don’t think-”

“Listen, yer in a bad part of town. I’m one of da nice ones, trust me. Me tattoos are jest fer show.” He winks a bit, “Ya ‘ave,” He checks his phone, “Fifteen minutes until da curfew. I don’ care ‘bout gettin’ in trouble.” Niall brings his brow up, “If we hit curfew though, I’m taking ya ta my flat until tomorrow morning…” A smirk brings up the side of his face. 

Gritting your teeth, you agree. “Fine. How are we going to get there?” Your brow comes up and he starts walking and you have to walk quickly, almost a light jog, to stay caught up. “W-what’s your name anyways?” You frown as you try to stay on his heels. 

“Niall, Niall Horan.” He turns and gives you a wink and you feel yourself blush. “What ‘bout ya, princess?” 

“Y/N, so stop calling me princess.” You let out an annoyed huff. 

Niall laughed silently to himself, “I like callin’ ya princess, princess. I ain’t stoppin’.” He winks at you again. 

Damn his wink-y, annoyingly, handsome, bad boy, charming self! You don’t say anything until he leads you to a Harley. 

“I don’t think-”

“It’s either dis or ya stayin’ in my flat fer the night.” He leans against it and holds the helmet out to you. 

You take it and try to put it on. Another chuckle and he helps you put it onto your head and buckles it for you. 

“We will be drivin’ really, really fast to make it in time.” He hands you his phone to put in your address and he gets on, starting it.

Staring and standing, you just wait. What if he completely and totally kidnaps you… “Clock is a tickin’ princess…” His brows come up a bit and searches your eyes. God, they were beautiful under this moonlight. You were the total opposite of what he usually went after, but your sass completely convinced him otherwise. 

You get on his bike and hold onto his shirt. 

He glances back, “Ya know darlin’, ya need ta get a tight hold on me, we’re gonna be goin’ fast.” 

Your arms tighten around his waist and he rolls his eyes and pulls you tighter against him, “Dere ya are.” With that he takes off. 

You squeal and hold him a bit more tightly. Curfew was ticking closer but he was successfully zipping through the streets. You pressed your face into his shoulder and took a deep breath of scotch, fags, and a ‘soft’ cologne. 

It was simply intoxicating.

“Ah, just in the nick of time!” He parks in front of your flat building. You glanced at your watch. It _just_  hit curfew. 

You chew on your lip for a moment before getting off and taking the helmet off. “Since it _is_ curfew and I seem to like to follow the rules… Would you care to come up for a cuppa?”

Niall blows air through his teeth, “See princess, I-”

“I insist, Niall. Please.” You smile sweetly up at him. 

How could he say no to that smile? It was so sweet and memorising, fit for a princess really. “Let’s head up.” 

You grin and take his hand and lead him upstairs to your flat. 

* * *

You two were sitting out on the balcony, two tea cups between you and a box of biscuits half way done. You had gotten a glass bowl for him to use as an ashtray-much to your dismay. 

The sun started to come up and you let out a soft yawn. 

“All right beautiful, I ‘ave ta go and go ta work in a couple o’ hours.” He nods a bit, “I’ll see ya later?” He offers hopefully. 

You smile sleepily and nod, standing up. “I’ll walk you to the door.” 

You and Niall walk, shoulders brushing to the door. “All right, here’s my number. I’ll be sure to text you back after I get my phone fixed.” You laugh softly as you write it out on his hand with a pen from the counter. “I’ll see you around.” 

“Princess, ya definitely will.” With a wink and a wave, he steps out and heads down the stairs.

As you start to shut the door, you hear the stomps back to your flat. You open the door, curiously, “Yeah?”

“Almost left without this.” He smirks and kisses you gently. “Bye princess.” He waves and heads out, leaving you there in shock with a stupid expression on your face. 

“Bye…” 


	30. Make Me

Arguing with Niall was exhausting and emotionally draining. Each argument was an overblown disagreement… Everything was an argument nowadays.

It could be the need for the attention. Everyone wants to feel wanted and desired, but letting Niall  know that you aren’t feeling those things can be difficult… How could you tell him that he wasn’t giving you enough attention? That you felt like his attention was only on his career.  Whatever you did… You kept those feelings bottled up; this ended up coming back to bite you in the ass when you would explode. You needed Niall to show the love, affection, and attention… And that ended up happening to him… You were ignored. Your needs were ignored and so were his.

If he just wasn’t paying attention, he was on his phone. And vice versa. The fact is, consideration of the person you’ve chosen to spend you some down time with has to be shown… But it was either you glued to your phone or he was.

Sex was dead on top of all of this. The best part about being with your best friend is that you get to have sex with your best friend. The worst part? When you get denied sex by your best friend… It drove you crazy. All in all it drove Niall crazy too. He wanted his dick wet and you needed that dick.

No attention. Always on his phone. No sex. This all lead to fights about nothing.

You shout or passively aggressively mutter, “Why are there so many dirty dishes in the sink? Can’t anyone do the dishes around but me?” Before you know it, the two of you are locked in a screaming match and neither of you willing to cave in and end it. It’s always a fight over “nothing”, where “nothing” is a stand-in for so much more. It was masking a larger issue and issues with you…

* * *

Niall had a long night ahead of him and you knew that. Niall planned long nights. He didn’t like being home. Because all it was was arguments and all it was was fights. Nothing made it work. He tried… He guessed. All he wanted was to have you and him back together like you used to be.

You started to pack. Just your clothes, that’s all you can really pack for the night. You’d be back.

Niall decided to leave the studio early. He was tired and was just going to head straight to bed…  

You were walking out the front door, your suitcases trailing behind you when Niall walked through the door.

Fuck.

You froze. Niall saw you and froze as well.

“W-what’re ya doin’?” He stands up a bit straighter, a confused look on his face. 

“I-uh, I was hoping that you wouldn’t be home for a bit longer.” You admit in a defeated tone. 

“Why?! So ya can leave me?” His eyes were firey on yours. Tears pricked his eyes and he wasn’t sure what to do. Sure, marriage hadn’t happened-hell not even an engagement. But with all the fighting, you weren’t sure she even wanted that with you!

You looked away, ashamed. That was the very reason. “Yes. That’s exactly why.” You murmur.

Niall stood there, almost dumbfounded. You just admitted that shit! H-How could you do that!?

When he doesn’t say anything, your teeth dig into your bottom lip. “Good-bye Niall.”

You were walking out the door, ready to shut it on that stage of your life. You tried. Tried more than anything else, but one can only fight for so long and so hard for a relationship.

“D-Don’t go!” Niall couldn’t let you walk out of his life, his eyes were on yours, the door open wide. “Please don’t.” He murmurs and shakes his head. 

“Make me.” You make your voice strong, you turn and look at him. “Fucking make me if it matters so much.” 

Niall closes the gap between the two of you. He crushes his lips against yours, holding his body tight to his. A surprised gasp escaped from you and you hold him tighter against you. This was the first deep kiss you two have shared in who knows how long.

He pulls you inside, pushing you against the door. The kiss was angry and rushed and needy. You both needed each other more than you knew. You tried to unbutton his shirt, but your hands were shaking as he sucked relentlessly on your sweet spot. Finally, Niall gets it off, his lips not leaving your neck.

Your shirt on the other hand… He effortlessly tore at the thin fabric, leaving you standing in just your bra and jeans. Niall lifts you up and you wrap your legs around him, holding him close. He stumbles going up the stairs, but catches himself.

Coming to the bedroom, he tosses you down onto the bed and pulls your jeans off quickly, “I love ya, Y/N. So fuckin’ much.” He growls out and you whimper, sitting up and pulling his jeans down along with his boxers.

“I love you.” You breathe out, pulling him over and kissing him roughly. 

“I’m gonna make love to you. I am gonna make ya feel good.” He whispers and pushes you to lay down and he brings himself between your legs, reaching over to the nightside table and pulls a condom out.

Slowly, Niall pushes his way into you after the condom is on. The moans that come from both of you fill the room. He slowly start to move up and down, your hands bracing yourself on his shoulders-your nails digging. Niall groans softly and hold you tight to him.

“Shit, Y/N.” He breathes out and moves a bit more quickly, making sure he hits you deep and long.

Niall knows all of your pleasure points-like he would ever forget those… Forget how to make you feel good. You were a moaning mess and completely surrendered to him.

Niall groaned as you started to tighten around him, he knew you were close so he reached his hand down to rub at your clit. Your moans turn into screams and your hips buck a bit and you claw your nails down his shoulders.

As you cum, Niall’s thrusts get sloppy. With a loud moan, he spills into the condom. He lays on top of you, face pressing into your neck.

After you both recovered, Niall glances at you biting his lip. You search his eyes for a moment.

“Was that break up sex or make up sex?” You bite your lip. 

Niall smiles softly at you, “It’s anything but break up sex. It was most definitely make up.” He whisper and leans over to kiss you. “We have a lot to talk about…”

You nod a bit, “We honestly do, Ni.” You rest your hand on his chest. “But we can do that in morning.” A soft smile touches your lips and you nuzzle his chest. “Right now, let’s enjoy our moment. Thanks for making me stay.”

“Thanks for asking me to.” He whispers back, his lips connecting with yours.


	31. Alone and Unloved

Niall watches you as the two of you eat breakfast. Not a word exchanged, only glances. It hurt him, he wanted to reach out to you, he wanted to talk to you. He wanted to be able to share his feelings on why they way you were going about this was hurtful, that he barely ever saw you, and when was the last bloody time did you have sex?

You finished your breakfast quickly, having to head out to work. It was keeping you so busy, definitely not on purpose, everything just need you and needed your assistance. “I gotta go..“ You stand up, grabbing my purse.

“Right now?” Niall frowns, he didn’t even have his chance to try and talk to you.

You feel a pang of guilt but work needs you, Niall knew you love him “Baby, I have to go to work! I love you!”

Niall forces a faint smile, “Love ya too…” He sighs, feeling completely heart broken. Maybe you just didn’t want to be around him anymore? Maybe you were trying to get away, bury yourself in work to save yourself.

You kiss him briefly, no real feeling, just the routine of the morning. When was the last time you and Niall shared a meaningful kiss?  

Niall finishes his breakfast, alone. Like he has for the last few weeks.. It’s almost been a month. It could have been more than a month. e wasn’t sure. But he felt like he was loosing you… What if he had? What if he just doesn’t please you like the way he use to…

He called harry, the only one he feels like he is the only one he could talk to about all of this.

“Ni!” Harry grins as he answers the phone, he loves talking to you and hanging out with you. “How goes it?”

“Really, really shitty.” Niall speaks honestly and pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger to keep the hurt tears at bay.

“All right, ya know, your arse is lucky I am in London instead of LA right now…” He murmurs and Niall just whines a bit, “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Have some tea ready for me!”

Niall does as Harry asks and makes the tea and waits for him to come over.

Did Niall not realise, you waited around for him while he was on tour? Sure you went to go visit but you were still always waiting for him. In order to make tour go by faster… You buried yourself in work and when he got home, you couldn’t pull out of your commitments.

Harry lets himself in and sees a glum-looking Niall. “Nialler…” Harry holds up a bag of Nandos, “For later.” He sits at the table and takes the cup of tea, “What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N…” He sighs and looks at the table, tracing mindless patterns into the table. Harry stays quiet, waiting for him to speak.  Niall let’s out another heavy sigh, “We’ve been off tour fer almost two months and about two weeks after we got back, dis all started. She jus’ doesn’t seem to be interested in us,.. Interested in bein’ together or doing anyt’ing together…” His eyes grow glassy. Niall loved you so much but you just pushed him away over and over. “Haz, we haven’t had sex since the first week we got home.”

Harry bites his lip, “I’m sorry about that. Want to just fuck around and play some FIFA? I can wank ya if you really need it.” He tries to tease, wanting to get his best friend to smile.

Niall throws a balled up napkin at his head, “Ya fuckin’ weirdo. Let’s go play some FIFA.” I nod a bit and sigh softly.

They played all afternoon, munching on the Nandos, and just catching up and enjoying each other’s company.

You had another long day at work, client after client came in. You didn’t think opening your own law firm would result in this. Well, maybe at first. But you hired on so many people and you yourself were independently wealthy. Niall did give you the start up money and you had paid him back within the first month. But the hours you were putting in were long and hard.

“Ni, I am home!” You call out before you yawn. You step out of your Louboutins at the door and head towards the kitchen. You had seen Harry’s Audi out front, “Hey Harry!” You called out and grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass.

“Hey Y/N! I’m headed out, see you around love!” Harry calls back as you fill your wine glass almost to the brim.

You don’t even stop in the living room, where Niall is (where he is picking up the mess that he and Harry left behind).

Niall sighs as he hears the bedroom door close. Just another one of those nights of Niall trying to talk to you, but Harry had given him an idea.

You sunk into bed, putting on soft music and sipping at your wine. Niall comes up and comes in, basically tip toeing. He put your heels in the closet before coming out to see you laying on your stomach, eyes closed. After a breath for confidence, he comes over to the bed, “Can I give you a massage?” He asks softly, his hands all ready lightly rubbing at your back.

A soft smile finds its way onto your lips, “Niall, I would love that. You have no idea.”

He smiles, he was finally finding a way to touch and love on you. He straddles you at your waist and rests himself on your bum as he starts to rub your back. With a content moan you close your eyes, “Work is killing me.” You pout a bit.

“I understand.” He murmurs. Niall didn’t. He knew his job got stressful, but he was going from time zone to time zone, barely home anywhere 6-8 months. “Tomorrow, will you at least wake me up before you go?”

Niall had been making himself wake up early in order to cook breakfast for the two of you, but he was really tired.

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

The night did not end in sex. Just the simple peck on the lips, a nice thank you and in bed. Niall pressed close but you pulled away, it was much too hot for all of that. You felt bed, but you couldn’t help it.

* * *

You woke up the next morning, getting out of bed quickly, figuring out you were late. You couldn’t be late. That’s not the job of the bloody CEO to be bloody late! Skipping the shower, you pulled on a fresh skirt and tucked in your satin blouse. Your heels weren’t by the door like you had left them! Niall! You growl to yourself and ran back up to grab them and ran back downand hurried out the door.

Niall rolls over and reaches out for you and ends up gripping the empty sheets. He sits up and frowns. He specifically asked you. “Y/N?” He yells out, maybe you just had gotten up and weren’t gone yet…

No answer. What the fuck? He asked you! Niall lays down on the bed and buries her face in the pillow and screams a bit. He was fucking done with all of this. He was going to march down to your office and stick it to you.

* * *

Niall heads out to where your building was and heads to your floor. He doesn’t even let the secretary stop him. He bangs into the office and glares at you, slamming the door shut.

You let out a surprised shriek and look up in shock, “Niall! The bloody hell is your problem!?” You stand up.

“You! Us! Is this even working out with us anymore? All ya do is go home, come back ta dis fucking shit place, and then come back! Have ya said more than twenty words ta me in a day? No! When was da last time we had sex? When was dad last time we had a date night?” He all but screams, the furious, hurt tears streaming down his cheeks. His face was bright red, his accent so thick that you barely caught all the words.

You sit there shocked. You didn’t really realise it was affecting him so… You didn’t understand why he was freaking out. You stand up and hold your hands up in a way to show you aren’t being threatening. “Niall, you need to take a breath.” You stand in front of him and search his furious blue eyes. “I’m sorry. Work has been really—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, really needin’ ya!” He rolls his eyes, “Jus’ fuckin’ forget it!” He storms out and you go to the couch and rest your head against your hand, tears starting to prick your eyes.

* * *

You head home earlier than you have in months, leaving the others in charge. Niall was home, throwing shit in a bag. He needed to get away and called Harry to go stay with him for a few days.

“Niall…” You speak softly and go to rest your hands on the Louis Vuitton duffel he had pulled down.

“No!” He growls out.

Tears pricked your eyes and you grip his shoulders, “I love you. I do not want you to leave. I am sorry! I am so sorry that I have been a bad girlfriend and partner for you!” You speak slowly, your eyes steady on his. “I’ve been too wrapped up in making sure that this is all working out for me and I just… I’m sorry.” You breathe out, “I-I will hire some more people, I will do more to try and make this work.” You sniffle. “This was all I had when you were gone Ni, this was it. I just didn’t realise how much it was affecting you. I’m sorry.” 

Niall visibly deflates and sighs, “Y/N… I just miss you.” He whispers, “I miss you so much.” He cups your cheek and wipes your tear away with the pad of his thumb. You turn your face to kiss the palm of his hand. “I love you.” He murmurs.

“I love you.” You say seriously and you get on your tip toes to kiss him lightly. “I am sorry Niall, honest. Give me a week to figure it out, yeah?”

“As long as we figure it out.” Niall leans in to kiss you gently.


	32. Coming to Agreements

Walking into the house, you slam the door in his face. Niall follows, slamming the door behind him.

Now Niall was just even more pissed off. You two have had fights before, but this took the fucking cake.

The two of you were stalked by fans. Again. But like usual, (you’ve talked to Niall about this many a time) Niall went ahead and encouraged the bad behaviour and took photos with the girls and signed things. He saw no problem with what happened. They are his fans, he isn’t going to push them aside… But apparently you didn’t understand that.

It inspired an argument that was getting blown out of proportion if you were honest with yourself. But you two were both too stubborn and hard headed to go to each other and admit that you were wrong.

Niall was so fucking done. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. He could never do anything right. It drove him fucking crazy.

It was late and you stripped down and wore your own pajamas to bed. You weren’t going to wear his t-shirt. Fuck that. Niall wore actual jammies to bed, not just his boxers like he usually did. You should have made him sleep on the couch but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. He was still your husband. You fold your arms before rolling with your back to him.

Niall did the same. His back was to you and his scowl set into place. Neither of you were going to budge on the way you felt and the way you saw the night’s events.

* * *

_You were standing there, your hair barely covering your nipples, Niall’s eyes only on you and hard as a rock. He wanted you… The anger was forgotten, the only focus was on the making love aspect of things and making each other feel good._

_Niall had you beneath him, his thrusts slow, deep, and careful. His blue eyes, dark with lust and want, piercing yours, “Oh god, baby girl.” He moans out, “I fucking-“_

Niall’s phone ringing woke him up and was fucking hard as can be. He answered his phone and ended the phone call shortly after that.

He glanced at you, his dream running through his mind. You looked so sexy, it was so loving and just… He leans over and kisses your neck gently and closes his eyes.

You pull away and frown a bit at him, “I’m still pissed go away.”

It’s not like he _forgot_ per say, but he definitely was much more focused on his dick and getting it wet versus the anger. But now he was pissed again. “Well, fine. Whatever.” He huffs a bit and sits up.

After a few moments you look over at him and roll your eyes. He catches that and flips you off. You glare at him and your hand twitches. You wanted to give him a right smack for being so fucking childish and annoying and completely immature about this!

Niall could really only focus on trying to ease his erection, but the more he thought about it, the harder it got, unfortunately.

Fuck it.

He leans over and catches your mouth in an angry kiss. Angry sex. The best sex honestly. You respond eagerly, not really realizing that you wanted it… Almost needed it too. But this was definitely not make up sex. You were fucking pissed and so was he.

This was not the way to really deal with the anger. This was not the way into your heart, into his brain, into nothing above. This was unleashing the feelings deep inside of the both of you.

The spark of black that you both seem to love.

You are both going a little crazy, just for fun, not even trying to hold it back. You wanted to be tied up and be taken over until you were done in for. Niall was ready to blow.

Niall pushes his body up to yours, his teeth sinking into your flesh, flicking his tongue against you, tasting you.

“Harder.” You gasp, wanting him to make a deep mark, draw blood. Your mind wanders to the last time he took you in anger. You were fucked against the wall.

“Beg.” He growls out against your skin.

You plead for him to bite into you again. You loved the raw want that came from him. Because you needed it just as much as he did.  “I-I fucking need more.” You pant out.

Niall stripped you quickly after stripping himself. He flips you so your face is pressed into the bed and he comes to rest over you to pin your hands above your head. “I wanna fuckin’ hear you.” He spits out and pushes into you. He knew you were a screaming and he wanted you to fucking scream your voice raw.

His hand comes around your neck and holds it there, feeling your thrumming pulse. You loved it when Niall was dominate with you, you loved the rough sex. But as mentioned, there is nothing like angry sex.

It was rough and hard and sweaty and dirty. You cum, screaming loudly for him, your voice raw, just like he wanted. He came in you and sighs after a bit.

He pulls out and collapses next to you, panting and breathing heavily, “Well dat jus’ happened.”

You nod, “I’m still mad.” You get up and head towards the shower. “Don’t think it’s changed because we had super angry sex.”

“Yeah, ‘kay, don’ care.”

* * *

You two basically had been avoiding each other since then until it was dinner. You cooked for him and sat at the table, not really looking at him.

“Look, I know ya dont like it when I do dat. But those are me fans.” He says slowly, staring at his bowl chili before looking at you.

“I understand, but… Do that when you’re not with me. That’s our time together.” You speak softly and meet his eyes. “Yeah?” You raise your brows a bit at him.

Niall falls silent for a moment, “Yeah, yeah. Fine. When it’s you and me, it’s you and me.” He nods and gives you an apologetic look. “I love ya…”

“I love you.” You respond softly and get up to lean over to kiss him gently. “I’m happy we figured this out. I missed you.”

Niall pulls you into his lap, “Well, ‘m happy too. Let’s not try ta go a whole day of bein’ pissy at each ot’er yeah?” His brows come up and he kisses on the bite marks and hickies on your neck.

“Yeah.” Of course, coming to agreements is what is healthy and most reasonable for couples to do.

“We had some rough sex… But maybe uh, some love making?” He wanted to do what was in his dream. Wanted to make love to you like that.

“Let’s.” You nod.

Niall effortlessly lifts you up and carries you up the stairs to your guys’ room.


	33. Tea for Two

You had your spot. It was yours. You found yourself there to get away, to feel the sense of belongingness, or to just be you without the fear.

The coffees shop located on Fifth. It was down the alleyway and the wrought iron archways gave it the mid-century gothic feel. It was homey.

The walk energized you, it made you look forward to your spot in the corner of the room. The wingback chair with a couple of pillows to support it. It was your spot to read, people watch, write… Whatever struck your fancy, that was what you were there for.

Today, the rain was especially brutal, the howling wind whipping your hair around, the rain drops seem to hunt out your exposed skin of your cheeks and hands.

No matter how close you got, it always seemed to get a little bit further away with each step.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you open the door, listening to that familiar jingle. The unashamed sigh of relief slipped from your lips. The warmth enveloped you and was greatly welcomed.

“Hey you.” Jack’s smile could light up the room no matter the weather outside.

Your cheeks darken a bit more-and not from the cold. His blonde locks and brown eyes kept you guessing what he was thinking.

Some days you thought he was into you. Other days, he showed no interest.

Today was one of those days. The flirtatious smile and that sparkle was there.

You usually got the tea on the house, but always left what you would pay for tea in the tip.

The book was just getting good when you fell asleep last night. You had the day off and this was place you wanted to be to finish it.

You weren’t really paying attention when you were getting your tea and you turned around too quickly, running into another person. You doused him in the hot tea, ruining your book, ruining his book, ruining his cashmere sweater, and most likely hurting him.

Your eyes snapping to his, a million gasped and high pitched apologies coming from your lips. His eyes, round and blue stuck on yours.

Fuck.

Niall Horan.

On his off days, when it was particularly rainy and everything was much too soggy for a decent round of footie. The coffee house was his refuge.

Granted, he didn’t make it there often and usually late in the day or early early morning. Never mid-afternoon on a soggy day.

The weather was fucking terrible. The water was like ice pellets pelting his cheeks, his ears, and hands. The beanie did little to keep the warmth in his head.

The relief he felt when he walked into the café was close to a self-made orgasm.

His eyes landed on the girl at the register. He could tell the way she twirled her hair on her finger and her giggles made it blatant she was attracted to him.

Niall had watched this barista ‘at work’ before. The flirting but not really interested. The girl is cute enough. But he wouldn’t dare approach. If he did… It could be one fangirl that would lead to hoards, and this place wouldn’t be his spot anymore.

He orders his tea extra strong, like usual. But what he wasn’t expecting was being covered in hot tea.

“Sonuvabitch!” It slips out before cursing about cursing.

Her bright eyes were on his and before Niall could really register what was going on.

The words that come from her are high pitched and coming in frequency. Niall had seen you around here. Always in the corner, always with your nose in a book.

And you never noticed him. Or you did, but chose to ignore him.

Niall didn’t know. And it was just now, he realised you really didn’t notice him.

“Honestly, love, don’ worry ‘bout it. Jus’ a drop o’ tea is all.” Niall grabs some napkins and goes to pat your chest dry before he figures out what he’s doing. “Sorry.” He blushes and pats at his own chest.

Your own flush works it’s way up your cheeks, “Oh don’t be. I was the one that spilt the tea.” You wipe at your chest.

The barista comes over with two new teas and eyes Niall.

He didn’t like him basically taking his back up option. He could tell by that flush you thought he was cute. But what girl (or guy) wouldn’t see that in him?

“Hey, Y/N, are you still going to come to my-“

“Hi, I’m Niall.” Niall had no problem interrupting this jerk.

You were starting to listen to Jack, but Niall seemed to be more dominant  in that regard and demand a bit more from you. And you wanted to give it. “I’m Y/N.” You smile and take the hand that Niall extended.

“Pleasure love. Can I sit with you?” His brows come up a bit.

You nod and Jack pouts a bit, “Hey, Y/N, did I-“

“Thank’s Jake.” Niall nods at him, taking both of the tea mugs from Jack and following you over to your corner spot, pulling up a chair.

Jack’s shift was over and he was being pissy for no good reason really. He chose to pass you up, really. Just kept you there for emergency uses. His emergency back up when he needed it.

You and Niall sat and talked until the shop was getting ready to close up. The storm hadn’t really lightened up any and you start to wrap up again in your jacket and scarf, tugging on the beanie.

“Is dere anyway we could meet up again?” Niall raises his brows. It was nice to escape and not be attacked with a fangirl. He had found out that you did indeed enjoy his music and band.

“Of course, rockstar.” You tease and put your number into his phone. “I’ll see you around. Because currently, I have an essay to go write. It was lovely meeting you.” You smile in thanks as he opens the door for you.

“Likewise, Y/N. Get home safe!” Niall watches you head into the stormy weather and sighs softly.

Tea for two had been lovely. He’d hoped to take you to dinner soon.


	34. Online Connection

Niall sat down, staring at his computer screen for a moment. is fingers brushing over the keyboard. His sure fingers hesitate for a moment before typin in the URL, tumblr.com. He had one for a long while, obviously a secret. It was nice to be anonymous (he didn’t like not being able to post selfies which kinda bummed him out).

He had a total of 179 followers (which really surprising to him but he followed over 200). He blogged humours things, stupid jokes, things about footie, rugby, and video games.

One of your followers messaged you about a humourous thing you reblogged… You followed back obviously.

The messages were going back and forth in messaging for awhile. He made up a fake name, Neil. How original. Well, at least he thought so. Found it more comical than not.

The two of you seemed to talk on Tumblr all the time. He made a kik so the two of you could talk outside of all of that. And you were utterly smitten with him. The two of you talked every day and every night.

Soon, you were asking to maybe Skype, make sure that he wasn’t some old creeper man. Because, it _was_ the internet and one never knows what they were dealing with.

Obviously, Niall was panicking. He wanted to, because he fell for you. He loved every selfie you put up. He loved talking to you. But it was all just a matter of safety…

Fuck.

‘Well, why can’t you?’ You write to him, ready to end it. You wanted to take this friendship to the next level, but you didn’t want to pressure him into anything. But you had strong feelings for him and found yourself turning away other guys that were where you were at, for fear that you would stop falling for Neil.

‘Because, luv, it’s not that easy to explain…’ Niall wasn’t sure how to even address the situation.

‘You’re a creepy old man, aren’t you?’ This is what you were worried about. But you didn’t share too much. He knew the state you lived in, but nothing else than that really.

‘Ffs, no. I’m not. Skype me then. But you have to swear to not freak out…” He messages back after a few moments. Niall didn’t want to loose you. You were something else for him and he wanted to keep you for as long as he could. But he didn’t want you getting star struck and crazy.

Niall made a ‘fake’ Skype so he could comfortably be able to block you in every way if necessary.

The camera wasn’t pointed at his face when he called you. “Hey…”

“Hi Neil.” You smile a bit as you answer the skype call. You frown as you only see from the neck down. “Well, I obviously can tell that you are not an old man.” You giggle a bit.

“Told you.” Niall chuckles a bit before taking a breath. “You have to promise to not freak out when I show you my face…”

“You can’t be ugly. Even if you were, I like you for your personality.” You tease but bite down hard on your lip anyways. You weren’t too worried, but still.

Niall just nods a bit and shifts his lap top up a bit, an unsure smile on his lips, “Hey love.” He murmurs. “My name is Niall…”

Your jaw drops, “Niall Horan… As in, Niall Horan from One Direction?” You kept your cool as much as you could but you were fucking in shock. You have been conversing with the Niall Horan for the last like… six months.

His heart sunk, of course. “Yeah, I am. But I gotta go…”

“Wait wait.” You murmur and put your hands up, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting this at all.” You say quickly. “ Sorry.” You smile. “You’re still just boring old Neil. But just a lot different.” You laugh softly. “There’s nothing different about you and I. How was your day?”

Relief flooded through Niall. You knew now and you didn’t freak out too much-thank God.

The conversation between the two of you flowed nicely and there was nothing wrong with it.

* * *

Niall was going to come visit you. You were crazy nervous for him to come to your apartment. You had called a maid service to clean up your apartment as much as possible. Niall was used to nice things and you worked your ass off in order to have your one bedroom apartment.

He had the concert starting in America soon and he asked if you wanted to go on a few stops with him.

But you had to meet him first and figure out how you two work in person. It was easy with a screen between the two of you. Niall was going to be dropped off soon and you had the roast cooking. you felt silly, but god dammit. You liked him. And you like him before you learned that he was famous.

Niall was growing increasingly nervous. He took all measures to travel under the radar and not be seen or notice by the paps-which was harder than it seemed…

He brought his hood down and knocked on the door.

You answer the door and smile when you see him, “Niall!” You go to hug him and Niall holds you tightly to him. He smelt so fucking good and you smelt wonderful. Fuck.

“Hi, it’s lovely to meet you in person.” He murmurs and finally lets you go and you let him in. “You have a lovely flat.” Niall smiles at you.

“Oh thanks so much.” You look around a bit. “I am making roast if that is okay.” You bite your lip as you go to check on it.

“Yeah, that sounds good. I always love a bit of home cooking.” He grins a bit and searches your eyes.

A light blush comes over your cheeks and nod, “Great.” You glance back at him and he comes to hug you again.

“I am so glad that you decided to follow me back on tumblr.” He chuckles. “I’m going to look forward to this weekend.” He nods a bit.

“I am too.” You murmur and look up at him.


	35. Not Ready

pt. 1

_The girl that approached him was drop dead gorgeous—more than you would ever be (so you felt). You were in the back, sitting on the couch, slowly chewing on grapes as you watch the two of them._

_She was overly flirty and Niall flirted right back. She was a friend of Niall’s and he was” just talking”. He knew that she was flirty. Especially, with the excessive touching and what not this girl seem to do._

_Someone was taking pictures of the backstage and captured Niall and this chick together. They made it look way worse than it really was._

_You just left with your best friend, because it hurt. You didn’t want to sit there and watch that. Niall noticed that you were gone. But he was about to go out on stage and there wasn’t much he could do at that moment._

_The pictures leaked and there was a photograph of Niall kissing the girl’s cheek. All you could feel was anger towards this. Towards him._ You _were his girlfriend. He shouldn’t be kissing on other girls._

 _Especially girls who were_ that _pretty._

_On top of that, it was a new relationship with you and Niall. As in no sex._

_When Niall did come around that night, your friend was leaving at the same time._

* * *

“Y/N… I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You just ran away, didn’t let me say anything.” Niall frowned a bit and searched your eyes.

You bit your lip… Unsure. You just didn’t know. You felt betrayed and this wasn’t the first time Niall had hurt you. It wasn’t like you were suddenly angry. There were other things. “ _There are always other girls” “This is more drama than it is worth” “Yeah, that sucks, but what about my problems?”_ All of this sucked so greatly. You were almost afraid he’d just leave you. You didn’t want that. You wanted the exact opposite. But at least now he was afraid that you were going to leave. You preferred it _that_ way.

“This isn’t just one little fight, you realize? You treat me like… like, I’m disposable. I’m not. I don’t need you. You make it seem like a favor by being with me. It’s fucking not.” You point out and fold your arms. You weren’t going to let this go. This was the bullshit that you didn’t have to deal with.

“Yer anything but disposable…” He frowned and searched your face.

“Ni…” You shook your head. He didn’t get it.

“Yer my girl.” Niall spoke with sincerity and seriousness in his tone.

“No. I’m not.” You folded your arms and lean to one side. “If I was, you wouldn’t—“

His hands were on your cheeks, “Yer not. I like you. I want you. And only you.” His words were rushed out before his lips pressed against yours.

Before you realized what was happening Niall had picked you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist, his lips fervent on yours.  His warm lips were hard against yours; his tongue presses against your lips and you eagerly open your mouth.  

The warm taste of mint and something else—scotch.  

Niall started towards the stairs, you weren’t sure how he had his wits about him to go to the stairs towards the room. But you didn’t mind.

His lips didn’t leave yours the whole time. He shut the door with his foot and finally the two of you pull away. But you didn’t want to be apart from him right now.

Niall had the same idea as he pushed all of the pillows off of your bed. He pinned you down to the bed with his body is crushed to yours. His lips hard on yours again.

You could feel _all_ of him. His hips were pressed against yours, he rest on his forearms, not letting his total weight be on you. He pulled his mouth away from yours and trailed kisses from your jaw down your neck, biting every so often.

The back of your mind goes back to the time when you let him give me a hickey and it was still there… but now just a faint spot remained.

His tongue flicked out against your neck and your mind snapped out of the reverie that you were in. You let out a soft gasp and he sucked softly.

“No marks.” You managed.

“Mhm.”

Your hands slipped underneath his shirt and ran them along his stomach. He shivered and moved so you can take off his shirt. He pressed his naked chest to yours and his lips seized yours.

His lips trailed to you ear, “Yer my beautiful girl.” His words were a husky whisper and he kissed your ear, causing you to shiver. He smirked and bit down on your earlobe softly.

“Niall!” You gasped out.

“Hush, love.”

Your lips were together again, moving in an easy, familiar rhythm.

Niall’s hands went underneath your shirt, running his rough hands up and down your smooth skin. He began to pull up your top and it finally clicked on what is going on between the two of you.

And it was all moving much too quickly.

As you pulled away and he mistook this to take advantage of kissing your neck. It felt good and you liked it and all but it was too fast.

“Niall—“ You tried to move away but he flipped the two of you, so you were on top. His hand cupped your face and brought your face to his.

Niall couldn’t help himself. Niall needed his hands to be on you, he needed to touch you, his lips on yours…

Your little noises of satisfaction drove Niall further, causing him to grow hard and he was confident that you could feel it. But honestly? He didn’t give care. He _wanted_ you to feel it. You were his girlfriend and he planned on having sex with you eventually.

When he rolled you two, so that you were on top of him. He held your face to his and he felt you pulling away, his hands trailed up your shirt again and your breathing hitched. You sat up on him, your hands resting on his naked chest, you legs straddling him.

It was rather distracting to him. His breathing was heavy and he stared up at you with lust-filled eyes, watching you trying to catch her breath.

“Much too fast Niall.” You finally managed to gasp out.

The disappointment kind of rushed through him but he understood at the same time. “Yeah, yeah of course.” He ran his hands through his hair.

After his hands muss up his hair, you bring your own hands to smooth it out before you bite down on your lip. You knotted your hands in his hair and your lips came back to his.

He smiled softly and moved his hands to your hips, gripping them tightly and you moanned softly and he wrapped his leg around you.

He pulled you down to lie next to him and wrapping his leg you, holding you close, “Y/N, thank you.”

You just stared at him, your fingers softly playing with his hair.

He was rather understanding about your boundaries and you couldn’t be anymore thankful about it.

“I really like you Niall and I don’t want to get hurt.” You spoke softly. Again, you see hurt flash through his eyes and you run your fingers down his cheeks.

“I don’t ever want to hurt you.” He spoke gently.

You kissed his lips briefly, “I know.” You moved so your head is resting on his chest and his arms wrap around you.

The exhaustion of the day hit you now and from the latest fight—You were completely knackered.

“I am not leaving for another day Y/N, you can sleep.” He pulled up the covers and wrapped them around the two of you.

“Mmm.”

You got up to change, pulling off your shirt with your back to him. You heard him let out a breath and you threw him a flirty look over your shoulder. You picked up his tshirt and pullled it on.

“Don’t look.” You turned around and faced him to make him turn around. He did as you asked and you quickly changed into your pajama pants, getting into bed immediately afterwards.

He pulled you against his chest and kissed your forehead. “Me girlfriend is beautiful ya know.”

You looked up at him and kissed his nose, “And I have quite the cute boyfriend.” You rest your head on his chest, humming softly. Niall wrapped his body around yours.

Your eyes slowly got heavier and eventually, you couldn’t open them.  You felt him press a soft kiss to your head. In return, you pressed a tiny kiss to his neck with a sigh.

* * *

Niall woke up feeling more refreshed than he had in weeks. Your arms were wrapped around him, your face still resting on his chest. Your lips were curled up in a faint smile. Niall couldn’t help his own smile. He ran his hands up and down your back softly, just enjoying the quiet moment alone with you.

He kissed your forehead and he moved himself out of your grasp, your lips form a sleepy pout before you relax and roll over. With a smile he pressed another small kiss to your head.

Niall arms stretched high above him and he fought off a groan, he doesn’t know how he woke up earlier than you did because usually he sleeps until he is forced to get out of bed.

* * *

After a bit, you wake up and head down the stairs. You see Niall sitting at the stove, making eggs and humming softly.

“Hey handsome.” You smiled and go to wrap your arms around his shoulders, balancing on your tip toes. His arms snaking around your waist. His lips trailed onto your neck.

Breakfast, breakfast—you needed to focus on breakfast. Not his soft, warm lips making their way down your neck or his teeth biting your shoulder.

“Ya know—no girl has ever looked as sexy as you do in me shirt.” His husky words are whispered in your ear. Another shiver.

You get to the fridge to pull out the milk, “Is that so?”

“Rather.” His lips were mere centimeters from yours, his lust filled eyes were trained on yours. You heard his breathing go a bit uneven.

“Well I like wearing it.” You whispered softly, his eyes flitting to your lips for a moment.

His lips were crushed to yours, your hands moved up to get your fingers tangled in his hair. His hands trails slowly down your body, stopping to rest at your hips. His tongue presses against your lips and you realize you hadn’t brushed your teeth. You pulled away and Niall pouted.

“Breakfast before recreation.” You winked and pushed him off of you.


	36. Making Plans

pt. 2

“Niall, I need to shower!” You squealed as he chased you up the stairs trying to grab at your legs.  

The two of you burst into your room and you shoved him down on the bed and he pulled you on top of him. “Well… so do I.” He gave you an exaggerated wink.

“Bummer.” You kissed his nose and climbed off of him. His hand smacked your ass and you turned to give him a look before smiling.

Niall’s hands came up in surrender, “Not my fault you literally have the most perfect ass known to mankind.”

You flushed lightly at his compliment and began to pull clothes out of your closet. You bite your lip as you come up with an idea.

“Hey, Niall?”

“Hmm?” He had his eyes closed and is stretched out on your bed.

You pulled out your lingerie box and put it on the bed, “I am having a _really_ hard time picking out what thong and bra to wear, think you could help me out?”

He sat up quickly, clearing his throat, and looking at me with wide eyes, “I—uh—“

You couldn’t help but giggle at his sudden blush and his nervousness that seemed to have come on so suddenly.

“If you don’t think you can…”

“No no, show me the options.” He swallowed loudly.

You brought out a simple red lace thong, a black lace thong, see through purple boy shorts, and your cheetah print thong. His eyes widen as you presented the choices.

“I like the black lace…” He cleared his throat again and finally tore his eyes away from the thongs you presented him, to rest on yours.

“Nice choice. Now the bra.” You kissed him briefly and rest your hand on his upper thigh. You couldn’t help the smug feeling you got as he tensed.

You pulled out your white lace bra, beige bra, and lace black one.

Before you could even ask, “Black.” His tone was slightly breathless.

“Brilliant.” You brought your lips back to his and rest both of your hands on his upper thighs, running them up and down a few times. He bites down on your lip and you bring your hands higher and he tensed further.

His tongue pressed against you lips and you pulled away—You really loved to tease. “I am going to go take a shower. Wait here.” You kissed his cheek and disappeared before he could react.

It was not fair that you got to have all the fun. He watched you walk off to the bathroom—knowing full well that you were enjoyed the teasing.

Niall felt flushed, hot, and extremely turned on. The things that you did to him. You music was incredibly loud and he recognized the music.. You were cute, sexy, smart, gorgeous, and had the body to go with it.

After waiting for a few moments he wandered out of your room to see if you locked the bathroom door—not to peek but to just go and talk with you…. It didn’t turn.

“Little princess.” He whispered under his breath. Something gray caught his eye. _His tshirt._ He quickly pulled it on and knew that two could play at the game of tease.

* * *

Niall found himself downstairs, lounging on your couch while you got ready. You checked on him once—wearing nothing but a towel dress with bunnies on it.

That was a site to get him turned on again.

You finally come down tairs stating that you were ready. Ready for what? Niall couldn’t tell, but whatever you wanted to do—he would do it.

You stood at the edge of the kitchen and did a slow turn, “How do I look?”

“Hm.” He put his finger on his chin and stood up. Niall slowly made his way to you, he could see some confusion in your eyes, but he kept his eyes as sensual as possible.

Getting as close as he could possibly get without touching you, his eyes traveled up and down your body slowly. He could hear your breathing catch and he fought the smirk. Niall couldn’t help himself, so he pressed a few soft kisses from your shoulder up to your neck. You shivered and he bit you softly.

“You look utterly gorgeous.” He finally said. “Absolutely lovely.”

You flushed faintly and smile, “Thank you.”

After a moment of eye gazing and watching him, you launched yourself at him, pushing him back onto the couch.

Your lips were fervent on his. The familiar taste of mint is shared between the two of you as his tongue slipped into your mouth. You were straddling him and his hands rest on your ass. You let all of your weight rest on him and he moaned softly and he pulled away, having to kiss more than his mouth.

You trailed kisses down his neck before reaching his collarbone and biting down on it. He gasped, his hips bucked up. You sucked softly on the mark you had just made. His hands came to your face and lead you back to his lips.

Your hands trailed up his body, finding their way underneath his shirt. You ran your fingers over his smooth ab muscles and he tensed further.

More, you needed more skin from him. You pulled off his shirt. His hips come up hard into yours while doing so, causing a soft whimper of want to slip from your lips.

Niall growled at that and flipped you two so he was on top. His hands reached the hem of your shirt and he began to pull it up.

He was suprirsed when you let Niall take your shirt off completely. He kissed you once before sitting above you to get a better look at your. The black, silk bra stood out against your soft skin.

You were so utterly beautiful, you were deliciously curvy and he understood why any guy would hit on you—but now you were his and he would be there to deal with that. And, bloody hell, how badly he wanted to have sex with you. Here, in your room, in his room, in the car—anywhere. To just feel you like that, to have a moment like that with you.

With a soft hum of appreciation, he lowered himself back down onto you, with your guys’ skin pressing against one another’s. You moaned softly and it turned him on even more.

He trailed his kisses down your neck, reaching your chest. He kissed the peak of your cleavage, not testing on going further, but he doesn’t keep his nose from brushing your tits slightly. Niall began to leave wet kisses down your stomach, Your little whimpers of pleasure only pushed Niall on further.

Niall slid his tongue along the skin right where your jeans cut him off. You gasped loudly and sat up. He pulled away, afraid he had pushed it too far.

But your hands pull him by his shoulders, so his lips can meet yours.

When he licked the skin above your jeans, you almost lost it. You would have let him fuck you and been 100% okay with it. But you didn’t want to stop what we had going right now. You slowly leaned the two of your back, so he is resting above you.

With a growl, he pinned your arms above your head and ravages your mouth with his. He eventually lets your hands go and you trail them down the front of his chest and he shivers. Our mouths still working out its perfect rhythm.

His hands trailed up and down your sides for a few moments before coming up further to rest of your tits. His thumbs hook slightly to rest inside the cup but he doesn’t do more than that.

You dug your nails into his back slightly and he moaned. As if that was the push he needed, he begins to caress your chest and you couldn’t help the occasional whimper or moan of pleasure that came from you.

His hands slowly stop and travel down to your jeans, he tried to slip his fingers into your jeans—thank the good Lord that they were tight as fucking hell because this was going much too far much too quickly.

You pulled away, your breathing heavy and laborious. Niall’s was not much different.

He gave you a quizzical look, “Too much?”

“Yes.” You said softly and he kissed you once then twice.

“Thank you for telling me.”

You simply smiled.

Niall made himself comfortable, laying on you, his head resting on your bra covered chest. “I think you are beautiful and smart and kind and wonderful.” He murmured softly.

You smiled shyly and looked down at him, “And you’re handsome and sweet and loving and amazing. I am sorry that I was so mad and so… Immature, I guess.” You spoke in an endearing tone.  

“Baby, you were anything but immature, a bit insecure, but seeing the situation from your eyes… I get it. I wasn’t being the most supportive boyfriend in that regard.” He shook his head. “I should have been a bit more away from that girl.” Niall looked down and sighed.

Chewing on your lip, his hand goes to cup your cheek. “I shouldn’t have just left, Ni.” You chewed on your lip a bit.

Niall started to rub your waist gently, “Then we have come to an impasse. I should have been a better boyfriend. And you shouldn’t have just run off, my princess.” He whispered and leaned in to give you another slow kiss.

“Did you have anything in mind to do tonight babe?”  You asked softly, playing with his hair. The blonde tufts sifted through your fingers easily.

“I was thinking to do something special for you… A whole day with just you, ending with the best thing possible.” He winked at you. “It’ll all be a surprise, my love.”

You couldn’t help the flush of excitement and pleasure that runs through you.


	37. Midnight Memories

Part 3

The day that Niall had planned for you was full. Frozen yogurt, sushi, some time in the sand and watching of the waves… He surprised you with kayaking in the harbour. But now, it was your turn to make it a memorable night for him as well.

You had Niall parked at the top of the hill and Niall's eyes were glued to the view. You looked long and hard as well. The stars were shining brightly, the air was crisp, and the city lights shone out on the water. 

Your gaze moved from the view to Niall's face. His eyes are still on the scene and his jaw is a bit slack. You placed your hand on his thigh and, without looking away from the view, his hand rested on top of yours. Finally he tore his eyes away, looking into your eyes a ghost of a smile played on his lips. "This is gorgeous, Y/N." His voice was soft and gentle. He simply smiled in return. "Not compared to you of course." He gave me a small smile. 

Niall eyes moved down to your lips for a moment and you trailed your tongue along your bottom lip. Niall bit down on his lip and his eyes meet you again. You rose your brow and he leaned in slowly. 

His soft, warm lips came to yours. It was a slow kiss, easy and ratyour sensual… for just a peck. 

All too soon—meaning before we could properly make out— he pulled away. He simply stared at you and you at him. The tension was building, it was electric in the air.

“Back seat?” Niall spoke quietly and has a single brow raised. Without saying anything you nod. You both moved to the back seat and before you have time to turn and face him, his mouth is already on your, tongue pressing against your lips.

You open your mouth to him and his tongue slips into you mouth. The familiar minty taste took over your senses. The taste that was unique to Niall and you loved it. He moaned softly into your mouth and you couldn’t help the smile that tried to come to your lips.

He moved so he is on top of me, his body pressed tight against yours. Your fingers knotted up in his blonde locks. His hands held my face to his and your arms wrapped around his waist.

It seemed he had had enough of kissing you mouth and began to trail kisses down your neck. Your nails dug into his skin and he growled softly pressing his hips harder into yours. A soft whimper slipped from your lips.

“That’s hot.”

You look at him with a smirk and he frowned for a second before he crushed his lips to mine. He maneuvered the two of you were, you ended up being on top of him, straddling him down. His hands rested on your ass and his face was buried in my neck, sucking softly.

“No marks.” You whispered. You could feel his lips pout against your neck.

“Babe…”

“Niall.”

"Just a little one, please?" He bit down softly causing you to gasp lightly.

You had all ready let him give you a couple… What would one more be? With a relenting sigh, you nod, "Fine but it needs to be small." You could feel his smile against your neck. 

"Mmhmm." He began to suck harder at your neck. You bit your lip to keep from moaning. You thought he could maybe sense your hesitation because he them bit down on your neck-his hand slipping underneath your tshirt, gripping your tit tightly. 

You couldn’t keep quiet anymore. A quiet moan came from you and he brought his hips up while pulling me down.

He pulled away and inspected his work and kissed the spot softly. “Looks great, really compliments your complexion.” Niall gave you a cheeky smile and you raised your brow.

“Is not it fair that I give you one as well?” You began to trail kisses down his neck.

Niall bit down on his lip, “The concerts though…”

“Just a little one, please?” You quoted in a whisper against his skin and he shivered lightly. He quickly removed his shirt.

He grabbed your hand and placed it on a spot on his shoulder, “Right youre.”

“Mhm.” You bit down hard and then sucked, your tongue making laps over the spot. Niall squirmed and you grind your hips into his and he moaned, head rolling to the side giving you more room. You run your tongue up his neck and then trailed kisses down. His breathing was heavy and you go back to the spot. You started sucking even harder on his flushed skin. You pulled back to look at the mark.

You smiled and pressed a little kiss to the mark. “How does it look?” He asked, breathless.

“Fantastic.”

“Brilliant.” His warm hands cupped your face and lead your back to his lips.

You turned the soft kiss into something that was filled with need and has urgency. Your fingers trailed up underneath his shirt, your nails trailing softly. He pulled off your shirt for you.

A shiver went through him and he felt your lips turn up slightly while your nails dug into me. A soft hiss came from him and your lips came harder against mine.

He was extremely turned on and his fucking erection hurt because of his too damn tight of skinny jeans.

*

He seized your warm lips with mine. Your familiar cinnamon taste mingles with his. Your taste and smell was simply intoxicating.

His tongue traced your lips and with a sigh you opens your mouth and your spicy taste consumed him. He pulled you to rest on top of him. You bit down on his lip for a moment and he let out a husky laugh before pressing his lips hard against yours.

A soft whimper came from you and he brought your hips hard up against yours. You gasped and he couldn’t help the smirk that came onto his face.

Your hands come to his hair to knot into them, holding him closer. He shivered slightly as you do so and you grind your hips into his. He moaned—ignoring the extreme hard on he had for you, only hoping you were doing so as well.

He slipped his hand underneath your shirt and dug his nails into your hips. You gasped against his lips and he bit down on your lip, pulling slightly.

Your mouth came back to his and he ran his tongue along the roof of your mouth and you moaned softly. “So fucking hot Y/N.” His hands moved up and down your sides before coming to your—surprisingly—bra clad chest.

You have fucking amazing tits. It went perfectly with your figure, curves in all of the right places… that ass. Good Lord—you were blessed abundantly. She was amazingly sexy and he was very lucky.

He decided to test the waters a bit with you. He slipped his hands underneath your bra and cupped your bare tits in his hand, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples.


	38. Not Ready

PT 1

_The girl that approached him was drop dead gorgeous—more than you would ever be (so you felt). You were in the back, sitting on the couch, slowly chewing on grapes as you watch the two of them._

_She was overly flirty and Niall flirted right back. She was a friend of Niall’s and he was” just talking”. He knew that she was flirty. Especially, with the excessive touching and what not this girl seem to do._

_Someone was taking pictures of the backstage and captured Niall and this chick together. They made it look way worse than it really was._

_You just left with your best friend, because it hurt. You didn’t want to sit there and watch that. Niall noticed that you were gone. But he was about to go out on stage and there wasn’t much he could do at that moment._

_The pictures leaked and there was a photograph of Niall kissing the girl’s cheek. All you could feel was anger towards this. Towards him._ You _were his girlfriend. He shouldn’t be kissing on other girls._

 _Especially girls who were_ that _pretty._

_On top of that, it was a new relationship with you and Niall. As in no sex._

_When Niall did come around that night, your friend was leaving at the same time._

* * *

“Y/N… I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You just ran away, didn’t let me say anything.” Niall frowned a bit and searched your eyes.

You bit your lip… Unsure. You just didn’t know. You felt betrayed and this wasn’t the first time Niall had hurt you. It wasn’t like you were suddenly angry. There were other things. “ _There are always other girls” “This is more drama than it is worth” “Yeah, that sucks, but what about my problems?”_ All of this sucked so greatly. You were almost afraid he’d just leave you. You didn’t want that. You wanted the exact opposite. But at least now he was afraid that you were going to leave. You preferred it _that_ way.

“This isn’t just one little fight, you realize? You treat me like… like, I’m disposable. I’m not. I don’t need you. You make it seem like a favor by being with me. It’s fucking not.” You point out and fold your arms. You weren’t going to let this go. This was the bullshit that you didn’t have to deal with.

“Yer anything but disposable…” He frowned and searched your face.

“Ni…” You shook your head. He didn’t get it.

“Yer my girl.” Niall spoke with sincerity and seriousness in his tone.

“No. I’m not.” You folded your arms and lean to one side. “If I was, you wouldn’t—“

His hands were on your cheeks, “Yer not. I like you. I want you. And only you.” His words were rushed out before his lips pressed against yours.

Before you realized what was happening Niall had picked you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist, his lips fervent on yours.  His warm lips were hard against yours; his tongue presses against your lips and you eagerly open your mouth.  

The warm taste of mint and something else—scotch.  

Niall started towards the stairs, you weren’t sure how he had his wits about him to go to the stairs towards the room. But you didn’t mind.

His lips didn’t leave yours the whole time. He shut the door with his foot and finally the two of you pull away. But you didn’t want to be apart from him right now.

Niall had the same idea as he pushed all of the pillows off of your bed. He pinned you down to the bed with his body is crushed to yours. His lips hard on yours again.

You could feel _all_ of him. His hips were pressed against yours, he rest on his forearms, not letting his total weight be on you. He pulled his mouth away from yours and trailed kisses from your jaw down your neck, biting every so often.

The back of your mind goes back to the time when you let him give me a hickey and it was still there… but now just a faint spot remained.

His tongue flicked out against your neck and your mind snapped out of the reverie that you were in. You let out a soft gasp and he sucked softly.

“No marks.” You managed.

“Mhm.”

Your hands slipped underneath his shirt and ran them along his stomach. He shivered and moved so you can take off his shirt. He pressed his naked chest to yours and his lips seized yours.

His lips trailed to you ear, “Yer my beautiful girl.” His words were a husky whisper and he kissed your ear, causing you to shiver. He smirked and bit down on your earlobe softly.

“Niall!” You gasped out.

“Hush, love.”

Your lips were together again, moving in an easy, familiar rhythm.

Niall’s hands went underneath your shirt, running his rough hands up and down your smooth skin. He began to pull up your top and it finally clicked on what is going on between the two of you.

And it was all moving much too quickly.

As you pulled away and he mistook this to take advantage of kissing your neck. It felt good and you liked it and all but it was too fast.

“Niall—“ You tried to move away but he flipped the two of you, so you were on top. His hand cupped your face and brought your face to his.

Niall couldn’t help himself. Niall needed his hands to be on you, he needed to touch you, his lips on yours…

Your little noises of satisfaction drove Niall further, causing him to grow hard and he was confident that you could feel it. But honestly? He didn’t give care. He _wanted_ you to feel it. You were his girlfriend and he planned on having sex with you eventually.

When he rolled you two, so that you were on top of him. He held your face to his and he felt you pulling away, his hands trailed up your shirt again and your breathing hitched. You sat up on him, your hands resting on his naked chest, you legs straddling him.

It was rather distracting to him. His breathing was heavy and he stared up at you with lust-filled eyes, watching you trying to catch her breath.

“Much too fast Niall.” You finally managed to gasp out.

The disappointment kind of rushed through him but he understood at the same time. “Yeah, yeah of course.” He ran his hands through his hair.

After his hands muss up his hair, you bring your own hands to smooth it out before you bite down on your lip. You knotted your hands in his hair and your lips came back to his.

He smiled softly and moved his hands to your hips, gripping them tightly and you moanned softly and he wrapped his leg around you.

He pulled you down to lie next to him and wrapping his leg you, holding you close, “Y/N, thank you.”

You just stared at him, your fingers softly playing with his hair.

He was rather understanding about your boundaries and you couldn’t be anymore thankful about it.

“I really like you Niall and I don’t want to get hurt.” You spoke softly. Again, you see hurt flash through his eyes and you run your fingers down his cheeks.

“I don’t ever want to hurt you.” He spoke gently.

You kissed his lips briefly, “I know.” You moved so your head is resting on his chest and his arms wrap around you.

The exhaustion of the day hit you now and from the latest fight—You were completely knackered.

“I am not leaving for another day Y/N, you can sleep.” He pulled up the covers and wrapped them around the two of you.

“Mmm.”

You got up to change, pulling off your shirt with your back to him. You heard him let out a breath and you threw him a flirty look over your shoulder. You picked up his tshirt and pullled it on.

“Don’t look.” You turned around and faced him to make him turn around. He did as you asked and you quickly changed into your pajama pants, getting into bed immediately afterwards.

He pulled you against his chest and kissed your forehead. “Me girlfriend is beautiful ya know.”

You looked up at him and kissed his nose, “And I have quite the cute boyfriend.” You rest your head on his chest, humming softly. Niall wrapped his body around yours.

Your eyes slowly got heavier and eventually, you couldn’t open them.  You felt him press a soft kiss to your head. In return, you pressed a tiny kiss to his neck with a sigh.

* * *

Niall woke up feeling more refreshed than he had in weeks. Your arms were wrapped around him, your face still resting on his chest. Your lips were curled up in a faint smile. Niall couldn’t help his own smile. He ran his hands up and down your back softly, just enjoying the quiet moment alone with you.

He kissed your forehead and he moved himself out of your grasp, your lips form a sleepy pout before you relax and roll over. With a smile he pressed another small kiss to your head.

Niall arms stretched high above him and he fought off a groan, he doesn’t know how he woke up earlier than you did because usually he sleeps until he is forced to get out of bed.

* * *

After a bit, you wake up and head down the stairs. You see Niall sitting at the stove, making eggs and humming softly.

“Hey handsome.” You smiled and go to wrap your arms around his shoulders, balancing on your tip toes. His arms snaking around your waist. His lips trailed onto your neck.

Breakfast, breakfast—you needed to focus on breakfast. Not his soft, warm lips making their way down your neck or his teeth biting your shoulder.

“Ya know—no girl has ever looked as sexy as you do in me shirt.” His husky words are whispered in your ear. Another shiver.

You get to the fridge to pull out the milk, “Is that so?”

“Rather.” His lips were mere centimeters from yours, his lust filled eyes were trained on yours. You heard his breathing go a bit uneven.

“Well I like wearing it.” You whispered softly, his eyes flitting to your lips for a moment.

His lips were crushed to yours, your hands moved up to get your fingers tangled in his hair. His hands trails slowly down your body, stopping to rest at your hips. His tongue presses against your lips and you realize you hadn’t brushed your teeth. You pulled away and Niall pouted.

“Breakfast before recreation.” You winked and pushed him off of you.


	39. Making Plans

PT 2

“Niall, I need to shower!” You squealed as he chased you up the stairs trying to grab at your legs.  

The two of you burst into your room and you shoved him down on the bed and he pulled you on top of him. “Well… so do I.” He gave you an exaggerated wink.

“Bummer.” You kissed his nose and climbed off of him. His hand smacked your ass and you turned to give him a look before smiling.

Niall’s hands came up in surrender, “Not my fault you literally have the most perfect ass known to mankind.”

You flushed lightly at his compliment and began to pull clothes out of your closet. You bite your lip as you come up with an idea.

“Hey, Niall?”

“Hmm?” He had his eyes closed and is stretched out on your bed.

You pulled out your lingerie box and put it on the bed, “I am having a _really_ hard time picking out what thong and bra to wear, think you could help me out?”

He sat up quickly, clearing his throat, and looking at me with wide eyes, “I—uh—“

You couldn’t help but giggle at his sudden blush and his nervousness that seemed to have come on so suddenly.

“If you don’t think you can…”

“No no, show me the options.” He swallowed loudly.

You brought out a simple red lace thong, a black lace thong, see through purple boy shorts, and your cheetah print thong. His eyes widen as you presented the choices.

“I like the black lace…” He cleared his throat again and finally tore his eyes away from the thongs you presented him, to rest on yours.

“Nice choice. Now the bra.” You kissed him briefly and rest your hand on his upper thigh. You couldn’t help the smug feeling you got as he tensed.

You pulled out your white lace bra, beige bra, and lace black one.

Before you could even ask, “Black.” His tone was slightly breathless.

“Brilliant.” You brought your lips back to his and rest both of your hands on his upper thighs, running them up and down a few times. He bites down on your lip and you bring your hands higher and he tensed further.

His tongue pressed against you lips and you pulled away—You really loved to tease. “I am going to go take a shower. Wait here.” You kissed his cheek and disappeared before he could react.

It was not fair that you got to have all the fun. He watched you walk off to the bathroom—knowing full well that you were enjoyed the teasing.

Niall felt flushed, hot, and extremely turned on. The things that you did to him. You music was incredibly loud and he recognized the music.. You were cute, sexy, smart, gorgeous, and had the body to go with it.

After waiting for a few moments he wandered out of your room to see if you locked the bathroom door—not to peek but to just go and talk with you…. It didn’t turn.

“Little princess.” He whispered under his breath. Something gray caught his eye. _His tshirt._ He quickly pulled it on and knew that two could play at the game of tease.

* * *

Niall found himself downstairs, lounging on your couch while you got ready. You checked on him once—wearing nothing but a towel dress with bunnies on it.

That was a site to get him turned on again.

You finally come down tairs stating that you were ready. Ready for what? Niall couldn’t tell, but whatever you wanted to do—he would do it.

You stood at the edge of the kitchen and did a slow turn, “How do I look?”

“Hm.” He put his finger on his chin and stood up. Niall slowly made his way to you, he could see some confusion in your eyes, but he kept his eyes as sensual as possible.

Getting as close as he could possibly get without touching you, his eyes traveled up and down your body slowly. He could hear your breathing catch and he fought the smirk. Niall couldn’t help himself, so he pressed a few soft kisses from your shoulder up to your neck. You shivered and he bit you softly.

“You look utterly gorgeous.” He finally said. “Absolutely lovely.”

You flushed faintly and smile, “Thank you.”

After a moment of eye gazing and watching him, you launched yourself at him, pushing him back onto the couch.

Your lips were fervent on his. The familiar taste of mint is shared between the two of you as his tongue slipped into your mouth. You were straddling him and his hands rest on your ass. You let all of your weight rest on him and he moaned softly and he pulled away, having to kiss more than his mouth.

You trailed kisses down his neck before reaching his collarbone and biting down on it. He gasped, his hips bucked up. You sucked softly on the mark you had just made. His hands came to your face and lead you back to his lips.

Your hands trailed up his body, finding their way underneath his shirt. You ran your fingers over his smooth ab muscles and he tensed further.

More, you needed more skin from him. You pulled off his shirt. His hips come up hard into yours while doing so, causing a soft whimper of want to slip from your lips.

Niall growled at that and flipped you two so he was on top. His hands reached the hem of your shirt and he began to pull it up.

He was suprirsed when you let Niall take your shirt off completely. He kissed you once before sitting above you to get a better look at your. The black, silk bra stood out against your soft skin.

You were so utterly beautiful, you were deliciously curvy and he understood why any guy would hit on you—but now you were his and he would be there to deal with that. And, bloody hell, how badly he wanted to have sex with you. Here, in your room, in his room, in the car—anywhere. To just feel you like that, to have a moment like that with you.

With a soft hum of appreciation, he lowered himself back down onto you, with your guys’ skin pressing against one another’s. You moaned softly and it turned him on even more.

He trailed his kisses down your neck, reaching your chest. He kissed the peak of your cleavage, not testing on going further, but he doesn’t keep his nose from brushing your tits slightly. Niall began to leave wet kisses down your stomach, Your little whimpers of pleasure only pushed Niall on further.

Niall slid his tongue along the skin right where your jeans cut him off. You gasped loudly and sat up. He pulled away, afraid he had pushed it too far.

But your hands pull him by his shoulders, so his lips can meet yours.

When he licked the skin above your jeans, you almost lost it. You would have let him fuck you and been 100% okay with it. But you didn’t want to stop what we had going right now. You slowly leaned the two of your back, so he is resting above you.

With a growl, he pinned your arms above your head and ravages your mouth with his. He eventually lets your hands go and you trail them down the front of his chest and he shivers. Our mouths still working out its perfect rhythm.

His hands trailed up and down your sides for a few moments before coming up further to rest of your tits. His thumbs hook slightly to rest inside the cup but he doesn’t do more than that.

You dug your nails into his back slightly and he moaned. As if that was the push he needed, he begins to caress your chest and you couldn’t help the occasional whimper or moan of pleasure that came from you.

His hands slowly stop and travel down to your jeans, he tried to slip his fingers into your jeans—thank the good Lord that they were tight as fucking hell because this was going much too far much too quickly.

You pulled away, your breathing heavy and laborious. Niall’s was not much different.

He gave you a quizzical look, “Too much?”

“Yes.” You said softly and he kissed you once then twice.

“Thank you for telling me.”

You simply smiled.

Niall made himself comfortable, laying on you, his head resting on your bra covered chest. “I think you are beautiful and smart and kind and wonderful.” He murmured softly.

You smiled shyly and looked down at him, “And you’re handsome and sweet and loving and amazing. I am sorry that I was so mad and so… Immature, I guess.” You spoke in an endearing tone.  

“Baby, you were anything but immature, a bit insecure, but seeing the situation from your eyes… I get it. I wasn’t being the most supportive boyfriend in that regard.” He shook his head. “I should have been a bit more away from that girl.” Niall looked down and sighed.

Chewing on your lip, his hand goes to cup your cheek. “I shouldn’t have just left, Ni.” You chewed on your lip a bit.

Niall started to rub your waist gently, “Then we have come to an impasse. I should have been a better boyfriend. And you shouldn’t have just run off, my princess.” He whispered and leaned in to give you another slow kiss.

“Did you have anything in mind to do tonight babe?”  You asked softly, playing with his hair. The blonde tufts sifted through your fingers easily.

“I was thinking to do something special for you… A whole day with just you, ending with the best thing possible.” He winked at you. “It’ll all be a surprise, my love.”

You couldn’t help the flush of excitement and pleasure that runs through you.


	40. Midnight Memories

PT 3

The day that Niall had planned for you was full. Frozen yogurt, sushi, some time in the sand and watching of the waves… He surprised you with kayaking in the harbour. But now, it was your turn to make it a memorable night for him as well.

 You had Niall parked at the top of the hill and Niall’s eyes were glued to the view. You looked long and hard as well. The stars were shining brightly, the air was crisp, and the city lights shone out on the water.

Your gaze moved from the view to Niall’s face. His eyes are still on the scene and his jaw is a bit slack. You placed your hand on his thigh and, without looking away from the view, his hand rested on top of yours. Finally he tore his eyes away, looking into your eyes a ghost of a smile played on his lips. “This is gorgeous, Y/N.” His voice was soft and gentle. He simply smiled in return. “Not compared to you of course.” He gave me a small smile.

Niall eyes moved down to your lips for a moment and you trailed your tongue along your bottom lip. Niall bit down on his lip and his eyes meet you again. You rose your brow and he leaned in slowly.

His soft, warm lips came to yours. It was a slow kiss, easy and ratyour sensual… for just a peck.

All too soon—meaning before we could properly make out— he pulled away. He simply stared at you and you at him. The tension was building, it was electric in the air.

“Back seat?” Niall spoke quietly and has a single brow raised. Without saying anything you nod. You both moved to the back seat and before you have time to turn and face him, his mouth is already on your, tongue pressing against your lips.

You open your mouth to him and his tongue slips into you mouth. The familiar minty taste took over your senses. The taste that was unique to Niall and you loved it. He moaned softly into your mouth and you couldn’t help the smile that tried to come to your lips.

He moved so he is on top of me, his body pressed tight against yours. Your fingers knotted up in his blonde locks. His hands held my face to his and your arms wrapped around his waist.

It seemed he had had enough of kissing you mouth and began to trail kisses down your neck. Your nails dug into his skin and he growled softly pressing his hips harder into yours. A soft whimper slipped from your lips.

“That’s hot.”

You look at him with a smirk and he frowned for a second before he crushed his lips to mine. He maneuvered the two of you were, you ended up being on top of him, straddling him down. His hands rested on your ass and his face was buried in my neck, sucking softly.

“No marks.” You whispered. You could feel his lips pout against your neck.

“Babe…”

“Niall.”

“Just a little one, please?” He bit down softly causing you to gasp lightly.

You had all ready let him give you a couple… What would one more be? With a relenting sigh, you nod, “Fine but it needs to be small.” You could feel his smile against your neck.

“Mmhmm.” He began to suck harder at your neck. You bit your lip to keep from moaning. You thought he could maybe sense your hesitation because he them bit down on your neck-his hand slipping underneath your tshirt, gripping your tit tightly.

You couldn’t keep quiet anymore. A quiet moan came from you and he brought his hips up while pulling me down.

He pulled away and inspected his work and kissed the spot softly. “Looks great, really compliments your complexion.” Niall gave you a cheeky smile and you raised your brow.

“Is not it fair that I give you one as well?” You began to trail kisses down his neck.

Niall bit down on his lip, “The concerts though…”

“Just a little one, please?” You quoted in a whisper against his skin and he shivered lightly. He quickly removed his shirt.

He grabbed your hand and placed it on a spot on his shoulder, “Right youre.”

“Mhm.” You bit down hard and then sucked, your tongue making laps over the spot. Niall squirmed and you grind your hips into his and he moaned, head rolling to the side giving you more room. You run your tongue up his neck and then trailed kisses down. His breathing was heavy and you go back to the spot. You started sucking even harder on his flushed skin. You pulled back to look at the mark.

You smiled and pressed a little kiss to the mark. “How does it look?” He asked, breathless.

“Fantastic.”

“Brilliant.” His warm hands cupped your face and lead your back to his lips.

You turned the soft kiss into something that was filled with need and has urgency. Your fingers trailed up underneath his shirt, your nails trailing softly. He pulled off your shirt for you.

A shiver went through him and he felt your lips turn up slightly while your nails dug into me. A soft hiss came from him and your lips came harder against mine.

He was extremely turned on and his fucking erection hurt because of his too damn tight of skinny jeans.

* * *

He seized your warm lips with mine. Your familiar cinnamon taste mingles with his. Your taste and smell was simply intoxicating.

His tongue traced your lips and with a sigh you opens your mouth and your spicy taste consumed him. He pulled you to rest on top of him. You bit down on his lip for a moment and he let out a husky laugh before pressing his lips hard against yours.

A soft whimper came from you and he brought your hips hard up against yours. You gasped and he couldn’t help the smirk that came onto his face.

Your hands come to his hair to knot into them, holding him closer. He shivered slightly as you do so and you grind your hips into his. He moaned—ignoring the extreme hard on he had for you, only hoping you were doing so as well.

He slipped his hand underneath your shirt and dug his nails into your hips. You gasped against his lips and he bit down on your lip, pulling slightly.

Your mouth came back to his and he ran his tongue along the roof of your mouth and you moaned softly. “So fucking hot Y/N.” His hands moved up and down your sides before coming to your—surprisingly—bra clad chest.

You have fucking amazing tits. It went perfectly with your figure, curves in all of the right places… that ass. Good Lord—you were blessed abundantly. She was amazingly sexy and he was very lucky.

He decided to test the waters a bit with you. He slipped his hands underneath your bra and cupped your bare tits in his hand, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples.


	41. Pushing Boundaries

PT 4

He was extremely turned on and his fucking erection hurt because of his too damn tight of skinny jeans.

As his hands begin to pull up you shirt the flashes start.

One, two, then three. Over and over again.

He could hear the click of the cameras, hear the cameras hitting the window of the car.

You yanked your shirt down. “Fuck.” She starts to climb over the seat—probably afraid to get out of the car.

“Fucking hell.” Niall growled, placing his hands on your arse, helping you over the front seatHe followed shortly after and the whole time the pictures were being taken and questions are being thrown at the two of you

“Are you official?”

“What are you using for protection?”

“Are you cheating on him?”

“Are you cheating on her?”

And on the questions go, you peeled out of the area and he couldn’t bear to look at you. Niall felt terrible.

He finally forced himself to look over at you and he frowned when he noticed that there are tears on you face.

“Love…” Hesitancy colours his tone.

“No. I mean—I know we are dating. But god dammit, we were both half naked in the back of the car!” You whimpered and rub your cheeks and whine softly.

“This is exactly what I was afraid ofm Y/N. The exact thing. I never wanted to put you in harms way or anywhere around it. I simply wanted to protect you.” Niall glared out the window. You were getting hurt and it was all his fault.

You sighed, “I know.” She parked in front of the beach and turned to me.

“Want to continue?”

The glare you gave him could kill if it wanted to. “Or not.”

“We need to talk about this.” Your tone was resigned.

His heart seized and caught a bit, “Please, no.” He grabbed your hand and hold it tightly in both of mine. “Y/N, I already let you go once and I won’t do that again…”

“Then don’t, but that’s so fucking shitty.” You whispered and look down at your lap, the tears welling in your eyes.

Niall leaned over and took your face in his hands and kissed you, roughly but gently at the same time. “We need to go.” He gasped against your lips.

“Let’s go.” You nod. “I kinda want to continue where we were.” You whispered and bit your lip slightly, looking at him.

*

Niall was getting out of the shower, the towel barely wrapped around his waist.

“Oh sorry.” You turned around on your heels to avoid that. But after a moment you felt his wet arms come around you, holding you close.

His arms tightened around you as you squealed. “Niall!” You noticed the towel gather at your feet and you froze a bit.

“Well…”

“You are naked.” You barely managed to get out.

“Yeah-showering happens when naked.” Niall nodded, his face coming to your neck. He nuzzled you and you couldn’t help but shiver.

“Care to put on your underwear?” You whispered out.

“If you want to bend over and get them…” Niall said with a husky whisper, biting down on your neck. His tongue trailed down your neck, his kisses covering your shoulder. He puled the sleeve to the side, exposing more of your shoulder.

Without giving one fuck, you bend down and grabbed his boxers. His hands grip harder onto your hips. He presses his hips against yours—you could feel him steadily through your thin sweats you had changed into. “You know—if you didn’t have clothes on, you would be feeling amazing?”

You flushed even more deeply and stood back up, handing the boxers to him without facing him. “Mhm.” He didn’t move to put on the briefs though.

His arms wrapped around you again and he pulled us back until you felt the water hitting you. You fought the scream building inside of you.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Your clothes are soaked, you hair was hanging around your face, you are a bit uncomfortable and he was chuckling softly.

“What the hell?” You turned to face him, not daring to look down—knowing fully well that he was still very naked and very erect.

“Well these wet clothes aren’t going to do are they?”

His hands start at your shoulders and the slowly make their way down your shoulders. You couldn’t move your eyes from his. His wet hair hangs around his eyes and you moved one hand up to move it out of the way. He smiled softly.

His hands move down to rest over your tits and he squeezes lightly. After that short detour he goes down even further, coming to the hem of your drenched tank top.

He pulled it up and over your head and you let him do so-he threw it over the pole of the shower curtain. Niall’s eyes stay fixated on you chest.

“You know, you have quite the figure and these are your second best assets.” His hands go trailed down your waist and came to the hem of your sweats.

“Niall—“

“Hush.” He silenced me with a rough kiss and you moaned.

You did want this in the end.

His fingers hooked into your pants and he began to pull down you pants slowly.  you step out of them for him and he takes a step back and looks you up and down.

“Those are literally the sexiest pair of panties I’ve seen.” He pointed out the black lace thong and all you could do was flush.

“Mhm.” Is all you could manage to get out.  Niall leaned forward and looks behind me at my ass and you shifted, “Hey!”

“Just appreciating what I have here.” With that, he crushes his lips to yours.

The water is pouring over the two of you and you might as well be naked.

Niall pinned me up against the wall and I moaned softly. His tongue snaked into my mouth and you whimpered softly. Your nails clawed down his shoulders before your hands go into his hair and knot into it.

You pull at his hair slightly and he growled quietly against your lips.

Feeling daring, you trailed my hands down again, nails lightly scraching. He pulled away breathing heavily, his head rolls to the side. “Y/N…” He moaned out my name and I couldn’t help the flush of pleasure that you felt as you heard him do so.

“Hm?” You were happy that you finally took advantage what was going on—that you now were the one in control.

Your hands reached his hips and you rub your fingers in little circles.

You peek down quickly then move your eyes back up quickly. Let’s talk about a majestic dick. Sweet mercy. Fully erect and just for you.

No. No. That’s not going to happen. Yeah, the hard on was for you… But you weren’t ready. But you were ready for a bit of pleasure.

“Y/N… please.” Niall panted and your eyes snap to his.

“Please what Niall?”

“Just. Please.” He begged with his eyes as he bit down on his lip.


	42. Final Decisions

PT 5

Fucking shit. He was in charge of this. Niall was the one pulling you into the shower, undressing you, making sure you were all hot and bothered—and wet. But hell, you pulled this kind of shit.

All he wanted from you was for you to please him. Niall sure as hell wanted to do that for you as well. But he knew you wanted to wait. Niall didn’t.

Decisions. That was all he had, he was just going to let you make the decision.

“Just please, what? You are going to have to be more specific than that.” Your voice was teasing and he groaned in sexual frustration.

“I want you to… I want you to—“ Your hand suddenly gripped him and Niall lost his breath.

“Want me to what?”

“That.” He gasped out.

“This?” Your hand began to move up and down slowly, you didn’t break eye contact with him as you does so.

He merely nodded and you squeezed him tightly, “What?”

“Yes.”

“Good boy.” You teased again and he bit his lip.

Niall’s body tensed at your steady rhythm that your hand has set. HIs hands found their way to your tits and he slipped my hands inside the cups. He squeezed you gently and a pleasure filled noise came from you—causing your hand to pump more rapidly.

He bit his lip to keep from moaning too loudly. His rubbed my thumbs over your nipples. They were fully erect—much like Niall was, however he took much more joy in your feelings than his.

“Y/N…” He moaned your name again.

His head rolled back and his body tensed further. Your hand speeds up and the faster you go the less will he had. “I-I am going—“

“Sh.” You shushed him and your mouth latched onto his neck. Your tongue mingled with the water on his skin. Your teeth began to dig in slightly. He gasped and his back arches, his hips came forward against his will.

It was not fair that you got to have all the fun with this.

He pulled the straps down on your bra and bit down hard onto your naked shoulder. Your hand tensed around my hard on.

Niall groaned and trailed his tongue against your warm skin. Your knees buckled and he couldn’t help the smirk on his lips. His lips lower and he bites down

“Hey!”

“Sh.” Niall hushed you like you had done earlier to him.

Niall got it where your tit was completely exposed and his eyes are glued to your now exposed body. When Niall finally forced his eyes to yours, she was flushed a deep red.

“Too far?” He asked tentatively, his voice a ragged whisper as your hand didn’t stop moving.

You shook you head no and your other hand reached behind his head and pulled me down.

He opened his mouth and took your nipple into his mouth. His tongue teased it, running circles around the hardened point. You moaned softly, hands knotting in his hair, not letting Niall break contact with your skin.

Niall’s mind didn’t realise that your hand had stopped moving. He bit down on your nipple and you gasped loudly. He pulled away and murmured against your skin, “Hand, love. Hand.”

You moved your hand again and he groaned, his mouth going back to your nipple again. Your hand moved steadily.

Niall was ready to cum, “Baby… Baby, I am about to cum.” He panted.

You nodded and moved your hand much more quickly. His hips will jerk forward against his will and Niall brought his hand up to cup your neck. His head rolls to the side, moaning.

You switch hands, moving your hand much more quickly, wanting him to cum.

Niall was done. He came and moaned loudly, panting out your name.

Water had started to gather in the tub, due to the plug slipping into place.

“Might as well take a bath.” He shrugged and sits down, pulling you with him.

Raising to your tiptoes, you pressed a kiss to his lips. Niall sighed as the two of yours lips meet. His tongue trace your lips and your mouth eagerly opened up to him.

Niall’s large hands gripped your waist, pulling you close to his hips. “I have one more good go in me…” He murmured as he noticed you taking in his growing hard on between the two of you. You trailed your hands down to rest on his chest.

The water warm and your slick body againt his only causes Niall to get harder and a new sexual frustration started.

His fingers trailed down and massaged against your hips.

A soft whimper came from you. You wanted him lower. You wanted him to cover your body in light touches and enjoyable touches. “That feels good.” You murmured and close your eyes.

Niall moved his face down your neck and bit down on the soft part where your shoulder connects with your neck. Another soft whimper comes from you and you kissed him roughly.

Fuck waiting. You loved him and you wanted him. In all ways. You wanted to have that one-ness with him. You needed him. “I want you. All of you.” You whispered and search his eyes.

Niall bit his lip, “Are you sure, love?” He wanted to make sure that you were okay with what could happen.

You weren’t a virgin. But this would be the first time with Niall.

With a slight nod, you answer, “Yes. I am. I want you.” You whispered and kiss him roughly.

“In the tub?” He asked, not sure how you wanted this.

“Bath tub sex is the best.” You smirked and Niall nodded a bit.

“Well, let’s do this.” He smirks and pulled you so your chest is pressed against his.

You nod and moved up a bit before you slid down over his hard cock. You went on him with ease and Niall moaned loudly at how tight you were.

Niall watched your eyes close as you slid down until your hips were resting against his.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

A slightly cheeky smile comes over your flushed face, your hands come to rest on his shoulders, mine rest on your hips

You picked up a rhythm that made Niall want to scream out of pleasure. But he controlled himself, his head leaning back to rest on the tub.

Little sounds of pleasure came from your lips as you moved and picked up the pace. Niall dug his fingers into your hips as you dug your fingers into his shoulders.

Niall trailed his hand down your body and pushes his calloused fingers against your clit which cued your loud moans of his name.

That only further encouraged him further, he drove his hips up to meet yours when you went down. Niall watched your eyes widen as he hit your gspot and he goes harder.

Pleasure bursts through you and you had to control yourself. Not coming undone and cuming right then.

He growled and moves his hip roughly, over and over. Hearing you scream out his name made him want you even more. He just wanted you to cum for him as much as fucking possible. It made him want to fuck you until you couldn’t stand, until you pushed him away saying you needed to take a breath, to have your eyes roll—

“Harder.” You panted out and Niall is happy to comply. He slammed his up hard, his fingers rubbing harder at your clit.

“I want to hear ya.” He growled out and gaped after a moment at your tightening around him.

A loud scream come from her and she squeezed her eyes shut and leans down to bite roughly on his shoulder—knowingly leaving a mark.

His hips started to move up a bit more frequently and roughly, wanting you to cum. The way your pussy clung to his cock only made him want you to cum on his cock. Niall moved his fingers until they were just a blur.

With that, you become undone, screaming out Niall’s name, clawing his shoulder and kept your hips moving to ride out climax and encourage his.

Your walls were tight around him, making it feel amazing for Niall to keep moving. Never had he had the honour of fucking a woman so tight.

His movements became erratic and out of control and he finally released with a loud moan, “Oh fuck, Y/N, fuck yes!”

The water began to still around us and he laid back, completely spent. You pulled off of him and shift to lay comfortably on him.

“That was amazing.” You looked up at him and smile.

“Like you.” Niall murmured and leaned down to kiss you gently, soft smiles on both of your lips.

 ** _Fin_**.


	43. Jealous Frat Boys

Niall saw you across from across campus. He gives you a cocky grin and a wave. A slight blush spreads over your cheeks and you shake your head. He was such a tool—a fucking frat boy tool. But even though he was that way, you and Niall got on well.

It also helped that Niall had a soft spot for you. But nothing would ever come from it. You did think he was cute but not dating material. You wouldn’t deny your attraction to him. He is hot and he seems like he would care if he wasn’t a fuck boy. So you kept it to partying with each other and the occasional lunch outing together.

Girls and sex was the only thing Niall thought about. You were just a friend. “Y/N!” He calls out and jogs over to where you were walking. “How you doin’?” He asks and bumps shoulders with you.

“I am doing well, thank you. I am about to go off to study with a classmate.” You smile back.

“Borrring. I’m gonna go get laid. You know that sweet ass that lives two floors up from you? She has great tits on her… I am bringing her to the frat and fucking her.” He smiles and nods.

With a roll of your eyes at this very typical Niall behaviour, “Okay, well use protection.” You shake your head. “I got to get to study group. Good luck.” You wave and head towards the library. You sometimes wished he was more… boyfriend material.

You were meeting up with Liam, he was one of the smarter kids in your class. Of course he was cute. Tall, broad, soft brown eyes, with thick hair. He was also frat brother, but he belonged to a frat for engineers. He needed some help in English and you needed help in math. So the two of you worked out a plan to tutor each other.

 

Liam had two Starbucks cups in front of him and his headphones on. He bobbed his head along with the music going on and you smile. He was really cute. And he was really smart and extremely helpful.

You sit down and reach over to tap his hand gently, “Hey.” You say softly.

Liam jumps a bit and breaks out into a huge grin, “Hi!” He says smiling. “I brought you a chai tea.” He murmurs and pushes the cups towards you.

You sit down and pull out your math notebook. You two started first with maths and then moved onto English.

“How are you today?” He asks with a smile. Liam enjoyed your company. He also really liked helping you. You were cute enough as well. He was going to ask you to hang out outside of studying and the library.

The smile makes your heart skip a beat. “I am doing well.” You smile and pull out your books and math work.

After a few hours of studying and both brains easily fried. You let out a soft whimper and drop your head down on the books.

Liam chuckles, “I know, love. How about we uh, go get something to eat?” He asks and raises his brows. “My treat.” He smiles.

You think for a moment, “All right. It’ll be fun. But you’re going to let me buy dessert.” You say seriously and pile up your books.

“Deal.” Liam grins. That was easier than he thought. And you were so sweet about it. Liam was excited about it.

* * *

She was now standing directly in front of Niall. She bites her lip seductively and leans forward to whisper in his ear. “I am going to suck your cock.” She whispers as she licks his ear and proceeds to run her tongue along his neck until she finds that sensitive spot right below his jaw. A shudder goes down Niall’s spine.

She successfully got his belt undone and pants unbuttoned and unzipped. Niall Nods, “Good girl.” He praises softly.

She leans up and kisses him softly. Her pouty lips taste like fruity lip gloss. Instinctively, Niall slips his tongue into her mouth. His hands made their way to her hips. He slid his hands up and he slips his hands under her tank top. He all ready knew she wasn’t wearing a bra, but this was even better than anticipated. She broke the kiss and drops to her knees.

She pulls down his pants as boxers, eyes on him. His cock sprung free and it is right in front of her face. She smiles wide as she tries to wrap her small hand around it. She barely is able to, it was so thick. Her touch sent shivers up his spine as he leans against the wall. She pumps his cock a couple times and looks up at Niall with a smile, “Its even bigger than rumored…” She finishes with a giggle.

She then pushes her lips down on his hard cock and he wathces it disappear into her mouth. Her warm, wet mouth envelopes around Niall’s cock. He feels her tongue swirl around the head and cock as she sinks her head down onto his throbbing dick. He felt his cock hit the back of her throat. She gags just a little bit but keeps it there. It is as if she was fucking his cock with her throat. Niall moans in pleasure. Then she backs off his cock sliding it almost all the way out before sliding it all the way back in.

Niall is lost in the blowjob. His hand goes to the back of her head and she hungrily sucks his dick as if her very life depended on it. He feels the sensation start in his balls and knew it wouldn’t be long. In between gasps he warns her, “Aw fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

With that, he felt his balls empty. He shot his load in her eager mouth. She smiles and swallows with a moan. Niall is still half hard and more than ready to fuck her raw.

* * *

Liam was utterly and completely polite through the entire date. The conversation was easy and it opened your eyes.  He would be someone you would be interested in outside of just tutoring and the library.

You had invited Liam back to your dorm, since your roommate was home for the rest of the week. You put on a film for the two of you and sit next to him on the couch. He casually drapes his arm over your shoulders and your smile. You cuddle into him and sigh. He was warm and safe.

Glancing up at Liam, a soft smile curls your lips. Liam glances back at you, a smile on his lips as well. “Hey.” He whispers.

“Hi.” You whisper back. Your eyes flit to his lips and his do the same. Maybe you felt the same way he did as well. He leans in ninety percent and waits for you to lean in the rest. His lips barely brush against yours.

You close the gap and let your lips meet his. They were warm and tasted like cinnamon. His hands goes to your hips and pulls you tightly to him. Sometime between the pulling closer and the rough kissing, you were straddling Liam to the couch. His lips were pressed hard against yours. His hands went to your waist and pulls you more tightly against him. You knot your hands in his short locks, holding his face to yours. Liam growls softly as you pull his hair a bit. His tongue traces your lips, with a sigh, you open your mouth to his.

Liam’s tongue takes no time in pushing into your mouth. He moans as his tongue knots with yours. His tastes burst across your taste buds. A shiver runs through you as he trails his tongue along the roof of your mouth. He grips your hips hard, fingers digging in.

Pulling away, he trails wet kisses down your jaw line to your neck. A soft whimper comes form you. You pull at his hair a bit, eyes closing tightly. He growls against your neck, sending another shiver dancing down your spine.

“No marks.” You whisper breathlessly.

“Of course not.” He whispers back. Liam shifts to lie down, having you pinned beneath him. A soft gasp comes from you, making Liam chuckle. His hot mouth comes back to yours, biting down onto your bottom lip.

You break the kiss and took your turn in kissing down his neck until you came to his collar bone. You trail your tongue along it gently and go back up, finding the sweet spot under his jaw. Liam moans, his hands trailing down to rub your inner thigh. “Y/N…” Liam grinds his hips down, letting out another moan. It catches your clit and you bite on his neck, whimpering softly. Your hands slide up his shirt to let your nails dig into his back as he grinds into you again. His hand pushes into your jean, to rest his hand over your pussy covered by your thong.

This was going too fast. “Li—“ You shift a bit, pulling his hand out. He sits up immediately and helps you sit up.

“Sorry love. Got carried away.” He breathes heavily.

“Understandable.” You breathe out and sigh. “That was fucking hot.” You giggle.

“You’re fucking hot.” He whispers and leans in to kiss him gently.

* * *

Niall kept bedding different girls while you spent more and more time with Liam. When Niall caught wind that you and Liam were getting closer and for some reason, he didn’t like that. He wasn’t entirely sure why. You were his friend. He felt a bit odd at this, he didn’t feel like this ever.

He was talking it over with his best friend, Harry. “Haz, I don’t fucking get it. I do not want to be tied down, I like fucking when I want to.”

“But I think it would mean more if you did that with someone you… feel for?” His brows raise slightly.

Niall howls with laughter, “I do not feel for anyone. Especially like that.” He shakes his head.

“Well, obviously you do if you do not like Liam and Y/N getting closer…”

“It’s not like that, I swear. It’s just. She’s mine. My person, my friend. We aren’t going to be friends if she is fucking Payne.” Niall shakes his head and lets out a soft sigh.

“You fucking like her. You can’t make people your people, she has other friends besides you. If you feel like she’s yours. You like her more than just a friend, you bloody idiot.” Harry rolls his eyes.

Letting out a whine, Niall goes outside and lets out a huff. He notices you across the campus, walking with Liam. You were laughing and grinning. Niall grit his teeth and shook his head slightly. What was he going to do? He couldn’t like—

_What the fuck._

Liam gave you a playful butt squeeze and gave you a playful kiss. He shakes his head slightly. You said goodbye and head into your dorm.

Niall watched Liam walk away and he was on a fucking mission. He liked you. More than a friend. This caused some confusion with who he was and how he was. But he didn’t like Liam having his hands all over.

You had just gotten inside and lay out on the couch. Liam had taken you out for ice cream.  You close your eyes and sigh softly. This was amazing, you actually had a guy you liked back and—

Niall slams his fist into the door, pacing once he walks away from it. Of course. You were the only girl he hadn’t tried to fuck. The only girl he had full respect for.

Worried, you hurry to the door. You peek through the hole and sigh as you see him. “What Niall?” You ask as you open the door. Niall shoves his way into the room and paces.

“Y/N… Y/N…” He says almost pained.

You widen your eyes, “What? Love, c’mon. Talk to me.” You beg of him, worried that he is severely hurt or… something.

“I can show you better than I can tell you.” Niall bites his lip and looks at you. You do not mistake the hunger in his eyes. How could you?

You swallow thickly, feeling a faint flush work up your neck from your chest. You nod slightly.

Niall closes the space between you, taking your face in his hands as gentle as he can be. He kisses you. You had to be honest. You didn’t think Niall would be capable of such a gentle touch. Not only his hands, but his lips against yours. The kiss grows into something that’s more than just lips on lips.

It is a connection.

The kind of kiss that sparks flew and you see more than the physical nature of it. Niall pulls you to him, keeping you close to him. He wants to keep a closeness but also wants to raw you and make love to you. He wants to body worship you. He wants to make you feel like the most important woman in the world.

He lifts you up and carries you to the bedroom, remembering it from the few times you had invited him over.

Kissing Niall was different than Liam, by a mile. Liam was great and all. But you and Niall had history. Your hands goes to knot in his hair and you press your chest firmly against his. “I like you, Y/N.” He breathes out and kisses down your neck. His movements were controlled and gentle.

“I like you.” You respond, meaning every word.  

He smiles and you lean in for another kiss, your lips working evenly against his. You hold him close to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulls you to his lap again and keeps you against him. He wanted to keep you as close as possible. But now you wanted to do more than this. Niall didn’t want to push you.

But since he came onto you first…

Moving off of his lap, you slide to your knees and kneel before him, hands on his knees.

You look at Niall, lust in your eyes. You put your hand over his leg, rubbing gently until you get to his crotch. Niall starts to grow hard and you smirk, cupping your hands over his growing erection.

Niall moves his hips forward and leans back against the wall, letting himself go for the moment, completely consumed by your touch. He finally listened to what he had actually wanted. And he got a girl that appreciates him for him. Not his body, not his connections, or the money his family had.

You slowly unzip his pants and reach in, hand searching for his harden cock. As you wrapped your fingers wrap around his cock, he grows harder as you pull him out. He was so long and thick.

The rumours were true.

And now all you want is him, you want to appreciate him, and to ultimately please him.

You give him a few soft and slow strokes, causing him to let out a few pleased noises. “Mm, baby girl, that’s great.

Niall’s hand found its way into your tank top and pushes past the bra, cupping and squeezing. He found her nipple and pinched gently, pulling on it and squeezing-causing you to let out pleased noises.

You take his dick into both of your hands. You take his cock into your mouth, the thick knob of its head felt perfect as you pressed your tongue up against it, squeezing it, exploring its texture and its musky, intimate flavour.

Niall’s hand went to your other tit, kneading before pinching and pulling your nipple, until its hard against his palm. His hips involuntarily lift, his cock pushing further into her mouth. You suck harder and moan, unable to control yourself.

You slide your mouth up and down, squeezing him with your lips. As you suck harder and more vigorously, he becomes increasingly more vocal. It starts with moaning but then it turns into encouragement. “Good girl, you’re fucking amazing. You’re perfect—don’t fucking stop.”

You weren’t gong to stop, over your dead body. You only had one goal in mind. Getting him off.

You love the way he writhed and bucked under you—not being able to stop himself. You settle into a rhythmic routine, stroking his cock while methodically rising and falling, massaging his head with your tongue. The steady repetition drove Niall crazy and you could feel him growing impossibly hard. You could feel every vein, and the head is so tight it seems like it would burst.  You pull away to catch your breath, looking up into his eyes, and a smile on your lips.   
“You’re done. You’re gonna make me cum before I have a chance to make you feel good.” He murmurs and cups your cheeks. “Even though you’re fucking great at giving head.” Niall praises.

You nod, wiping the bit of spit that ended up on your chin. Niall leans forward and helps take off your tank top and bra. “Fuck, you are beautiful.” He praises and leans in to kiss each nipple gently. “I like you.” He says again, looking at you.

“I like you.” You murmur back and give him a soft kiss. You pull down your jeans and panties. You look at him with undeniable lust in your eyes, pleased that he seemed to be feeling the exact same way. “And I want you… I want you to show me that you’re not just a fuck boy. Show me.” You almost beg.

Niall nods, “I’m not a fuck boy. I want to show you… I can be more than that. Especially for you.” He says softly and searches your eyes. He makes you lay back on the bed and spreads your legs gently. He admires your pussy for a moment before leaning down and gently licking at her pussy lips.

A light shiver runs through you. When he licks again, you let out a soft whine, wanting more. He smirks and brings his fingers to your lips, spreading them and flicking his tongue against your clit. He his gentle at first then he went harder. You were writhing in pleasure, all you could do is grip his hair, grinding your pussy against his face. He pulls your hips to his face, he wanted to make you cum before he fucked you. He would save love making for a time you two both needed it. Your legs tightened around his head and she started to cum, he did his best to keep licking at your dripping pussy. But you were soaking.

Both of you were more than ready.

“I need you. Now.” You speak unashamedly. Niall nods, flushing a bit and smiles. He was never shy about these things. Ever. But here you were… In all of your beautiful glory. He wanted nobody else but you.

Niall lowers himself between your legs, sliding his cock along his hot slit.

“Condom!” You say quickly and widen your eyes at him.

He nods slightly. “Yeah. Yeah. Protection.” He mumbles and you tell him where to find it. He gets one and rolls his onto his hard on. “All ready.” He smiles and goes back between your legs, mimicking his earlier actions with rubbing his cock along your soaking slit.

Niall leans down and kisses you roughly, your own tongue pushes into his mouth. You wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close so you can grind a bit more against his raging cock. He pulls back a bit and slaps your clit with his hard on a few times before he pushes his cock into your eager pussy.

You tighten around him and break the kiss. You dig your nails into his back, all ready close again. “You can go.” You encourage and nod.

Niall starts to work his cock in and out of your tight pussy. You were his new favourite fuck. So much better than anything he’s ever done or been with. Words could not describe how amazing it felt.

You start to whisper in his ear (since you were so close and you wanted him to cum with you), “Right there, Niall. Fuck me. Fuck me as hard as you can.” You beg and reach down to massage his balls as he went to tend to your clit.

Niall was operating on the carnal need to fuck you, make you his… You scream out his name and arch, closing your eyes, panting and whimpering. “Harder, please.” You whimper.  As he does so, you start to cum, soaking his cock as you squirt a bit.

As you tighten around his cock, he lets out a loud moan as his balls tighten, cumming into the condom. His forehead rest against yours. “Holy shit.” Niall mumbles, whimpering softly.

“Yeah.” You giggle breathlessly. “That was awesome. No wonder half the girls—“

“You won’t have to worry about that. I am yours.” He says honestly. “I don’t want anyone else. You’re mine.”

You feel your stomach fills with butterflies. Niall made you feel more than Liam ever would.

“You’re mine… And I’m yours. After all this time?” Your brows raise.

“Always… But I kind of kept it hidden all this time.” Niall speaks softly and gives you a gentle kiss. “When I am ready to go again, I want to have slow sex.” He nods.

“And we will.” You smile, blushing slightly.


	44. Satisfied

“I got some ideas…” You whisper into his ear, nipping at it gently. Practice before the show was going too long. Niall had left you all needy feeling and basically soaking before you two had left.

“Mm, what might dat be princess?” He asks, leaning down to kiss your lips gently, his arms wrapping around your waist.

With a smile you rest your hands on is chest, “An intermission blow job.” You whisper against his lips before kiss his nose. “Let me show you how much of a good girl I can be for you.” You bite your lip and press against him a bit more.

“I think dat can be arranged. If ya can get me off during dat intermission… I’ll reward ya in our room.” Niall nods and drags his scruffy chin along your shoulder before kissing up and down your neck.

With a slight shiver, you nod and let him shower your neck in kisses.

* * *

The show goes by slower than molasses. The relentless teasing Niall did up until he went onto stage didn’t help anything.

There was always something so provocative about watching Niall perform. The sheer passion and energy he poured into it was more intoxicating then when he was in the bedroom (unless it was scruff being dragged against your inner thighs-but that’s a different story)…

You watched him dance across the stage, guitar on, guitar off, counting down the minutes until he would come running to the back so you could pull him into his dressing room and have your way with him and his cock.

 _Finally_ , he comes bouncing from the stage and wipes his forehead from the sweat. “Hey baby.” He pants and kisses the side of your head and you don’t wait two minutes before you pull him into his shared dressing room and lock it. “Hi.” You smile and kiss down his neck.

Niall pushes you down to your knees. “Hurry love, you don’t got much time.”

Your hand rubs over his jean clad crotch, humming. Niall bends over and pulls your blouse over your head, just wanting to see your body.

Yanking his jeans down, you mouth him over his boxers, your eyes looking up at him. His body tensed up tightly and you carefully pull his boxers down. Teasing was your favourite but you didn’t have a lot of time to do so.

Your mouth lowers over his dick carefully and you work your mouth lower and lower. The lower you go, the more your cheeks hollow out for him, your tongue swirling over his hard-on.

He closes his eyes and drops his head back slightly, his hand coming to grip your hair back, “Oh fuck.” He moans out.

His moaned praise only encourages you to suck harder and start to bob your head. You wanted him to cum. You needed him to.

Niall knew how to punish when it was needed. But he also knew how to reward you when you were being a good girl.

You trail your nails gently down his thighs before you start to massage his balls gently, your watering eyes moving up to look at him. You start to gag on him on purpose, choking and gasping when you pull off.

You could feel his balls tense in your hands as you start to deep throat him as well as you can. “Yes baby, just like that. Don’t stop.” He begs of you and moves his hips up a bit more, fighting the urge to fuck your face. 

He moans again and whimpers softly, “I’m so close.” He tenses further and there is a warning knock on the door-five minutes left.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck_! You needed to get him off. You pull off enough to only suck on the head of his dick, your tongue running over the slit and squeezing gently on his balls.

“Choke on me cock again.” He demands and you lower your mouth over him until you’re choking and gagging. “Fuck, such a good girl for me.” He moans out.

With a slight thrust of his hips-pushing his cock back further into your throat-he cums, panting out your name like a prayer.

You pull away and swallow, a triumphant grin comes over your lips and you pull up his boxers and jeans.

“Go!” You urge him so he wouldn’t be late and there wouldn’t be any questioning of what the two of you went off to do.

Niall kisses your forehead, “Love ya like ya can’t believe.” He kisses you on the lips and runs out as you pull your shirt back on and fix your hair, licking your lips free of any cum.

You had a satisfied man, kicking ass on stage.


	45. Vibrant Colours to Black and White

This was it. You were moving in with your boyfriend. 

Your boyfriend is the third after “The One”. You weren’t sure what happened with The One… Actually, you did. You wanted more, but he wasn’t ready for more (so he said). You tried to wait, but he just.. He never got to the point of wanting more than just living together and being boyfriend and girlfriend. “ _Marriage is for people that want to be chained down for the rest of their life_.” It also didn’t help that you really wanted to take that step in life towards marriage. 

You were cleaning out your closet, packing up what needed to be and getting rid of what needed to be. Out with old, in with the new. And that is with everything. There was some fear… But at least Louis wanted you for more than a girlfriend. He talked about long term all the time. And the best thing? You saw that with him too.

Pulling down another box, your heart stops a bit. You knew this box. This was a box you hadn’t been in for a long while. You sit down, cross legged, box in your lap, a couple tears pricking your eyes.

Niall Horan was The One. He was yours. And now? He wasn’t. Looking at it now… he never was. No matter how much hope you had, how hard you tried. You couldn’t convince Niall to change in that regard.

And changing someone is not what you do when you’re in a relationship. That’s not relationships work. 

Towards Niall, there were no hard feelings. Simply severe heartbreak and a small piece of hope that there was going to be a change. You two could work it out. But, time went on and so had you.

You pull out the first photo waiting on the top of your old memories. It was a photo of him you took off handedly. He didn’t even have time to smile properly. But he didn’t need to. He was handsome no matter what. That unruly blonde hair… God, that was your favourite shirt.

_“Niall! Smile!” You giggled, snapping the picture before he could react. The two of you were ‘backstage’ at the pub he was performing at, chatting with some of the other acts. You would there to support him through every performance. Because, if you weren’t there-he would find himself stuttering through songs._

_Niall blinked at the flash, “Oi! No reason for that, petal.” He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. His lips met yours and he takes your camera from you and holds it out to take a picture of you two together._

_Your selfie king._

You pick up the picture that he took and wipe the stray tear off your cheek. “Oh Ni…” You whisper to yourself and put aside the pictures and keep picking through the box.

Oh the movie stubs… You insisted on keeping all of them and writing the review on the back of the small piece of paper. Niall thought you were bonkers for it, but would make sure to always keep his… Just in case. He didn’t want you to go without the stub for the memory.

There’s a large manila envelope. Your heart squeezes a bit. All the love notes, small forget-me-nots, and the cards for anniversaries and holidays.

You start to open some, _Y/N… I love you more than I love Guinness! Can’t wait for your cuddles later. Have fun studying!… Sweet Bum, Roses are red. Violets are blue. I miss you. And your homemade pizza!… Baby girl, you’re my world! You light it up like nobody else! You’re beautiful, even if you don’t know it yet ;)… Today, tomorrow, and forever, I love you._

Your throat is thick with tears that you were doing your best to hold back. Fuck. But then you could see the shift. The notes got less and less when you asked for more relationship wise. Nobody made you happy like him… Not until Louis.

At the bottom of the box were pressed daisies and roses that he would bring home with him to surprise you. Pink daises were your favourite. If you had pressed all of them… There would be too many. You pressed a few.

_Your head was in his lap, watching the clouds float by. “Here.” Niall pulled the flower out of the picnic basket. “Pink daisy. Your favourite.” He smiled._

_“You remembered!” You teased and took it from him, looking at him. You plucked a petal off, “He loves me.” You said softly. Niall nodded, leaning down to kiss you. “He loves me not.” You plucked another petal. He pouts. “He loves me.” Your eyes met his and he gave you another kiss. This pattern goes on until the last one. “And you love me.” You said with a smile._

_“Well my petal, I could have told you that before you even killed the little flower!” He chuckled and gave you another long kiss._

You shake your head and set them aside before picking up the small velvet box. It held a dainty necklace that was an anniversary gift from him.

Opening it, you sigh softly. You run your fingers over the white gold pendant and bite your lip.

_“I love you.” He said seriously, eyes on yours. “We’ve been together for five years now…” Funny thing was… You had hoped for a ring. “You deserve a piece of_ **_fine_ ** _jewelry expressing how much I love you.” He grinned—he had given things before you two lived together. But very simple. Your heart started to pound quickly, this was it. The ring you had hoped and prayed for. He slid the velvet box  over, “Happy Anniversary, my petal.”_

_You couldn’t fight the heartbreaking moment when you opened it and saw the necklace. “Thank you.” You nodded and gave him a kiss, not letting him see your utter disappointment. Because you didn’t want him to think you were ungrateful. “I love you.”_

Within the next year you two tried a break and got back together. But it still didn’t work because Niall never wanted that next step.

You lean back, your head resting against the wall, memories scattered around you. So many good, very few bad. You stopped thinking about Niall after six months with Louis. Because it wasn’t fair to hold onto that going into a new relationship.

Louis walks in and sees you on the floor, “Hey, Y/N…” He frowns a bit as he looks around at the pictures, letters, flowers, and necklace. You two were now together for a year and almost six months.

“Hey Lou. Just going through some boxes. And I forgot about this one.” You say softly. He knew everything and there used to be issues between the two of you with that.

But now… Your memories of Niall fading from vibrant colour to black and white and fading completely.

You pick up everything and put it back in the box. “Time to get rid of this.” You say softly and look at Louis. You would keep the necklace to probably sell back.

Louis comes over and kisses your forehead. “I hope you’re okay. If you need me, I’ll be making us some tea.” He wanted you to have a few moments to yourself.

But now, Niall was thrown back into your mind and your chest starts that familiar tightening. Did Niall have a box with his best memories of the relationship stashed somewhere? If not physical memories left over, were they in the corners of his mind? Did he ever think of you? Did it take him as long to get over you as it took you to get over him?

It took him a few years of being between so many girls’ legs he couldn’t keep them straight. He still didn’t believe in marriage, but he finally met someone that he could see between her legs more than just once. She also didn’t want to be tied down by being married. It made it easy for him to make a life with her. He didn’t want to get into the mess of getting stuck of having his heart shattered because he dated and got serious with a girl that believed in marriage while he didn’t. He just left it black and white with her.

With you? There were colours, bright and vibrant swirling and swirling—he loved that rainbow. You brought life and vibrance into his life. Your smile, your eyes, the sweet curve of your lips in a smile… The way you looked at him when you told him you loved him… Those were the memories he kept tucked into a small box and locked in a cup board in his mind.

But the one thing… Niall kept a photo of the two of you in his sock drawer’s far back corner. But that was all he had. You had written the date on the back and a small, ‘I love you’. That is all Niall had left out of a six year relationship. It was not a messy breakup. Just a heart breaking one.

Niall wasn’t one to be chained down by a ring on his finger. And he never would. Now he was with someone like minded. But that didn’t stop him from vacationing to that small cupboard in his mind, which made him question if you revisited the many memories you two had made.


	46. Dusk Coloured Kisses

Pt. 1

The screeching of your alarm clock wakes you up. Five o’clock. Niall had specifically asked for you to wake up early, you weren’t entirely sure why. But he said he had something planned. Who were you to say no?

Your hand smacks the clock and turns it off. You let out a soft whimper as you stretch and roll out of bed. You wash your face to wake yourself up a bit. Your eyes are half closed as you start to brush your teeth and your phone goes off. You glance at the screen, it’s Niall.

With a sigh, you answer, “Hello?” You ask, pushing your tooth brush to the side of your mouth to talk.

“Morning beautiful! Just making sure you’re awake! I’m going to be over there in forty minutes to pick you up.” You could practically see the grin from him.

“I know. I am up.” You yawn and smile. “You are so lucky you’re so handsome.” You giggle out. “I need to finish getting ready. See you in a bit.”

“Love you.” Niall coos.

“And I love you.” You smile.

Within the next forty minutes, you do your make up and hair, and wear layers since you weren’t sure what to expect from the day. Leaning closer to the mirror to make sure the wing of your eyeliner was crisp.

Niall let himself into your flat and comes into the bathroom. He lets out a low whistle, “I could stare at that ass all day.” He teases and taps it gently. “Let’s go!” He whines and pouts.

“I’m done.” You smile and turn around to give him a kiss. “Let’s go.”

Niall wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you out to the car waiting for the two of you. He helps you into the back and climbs in with you. He drapes his arm over you and kisses your temple. “I have the best date planned.” He grins. He had a full day—not that you knew that.

“I am sure that you do. Any hints as to what it might be, rockstar?” You ask and raise your brows at him.

He laughs and shakes his head, “Nope. You’re going to have to be patient and just see.” Niall gives you another kiss, nipping at your lip gently.

With a giggle you push him off slightly, laying your head down on his chest and watching the scenery pass by. Not very many cars… Everything was so still and quiet. You recognize the way towards the beach.

“The sun isn’t even out yet.” You point out and raise your brows towards him.

“Observant.” He smirks and raises his brow.

“Well, how much longer do we have?” You give him a pointed look.

“Eh, thirty minutes more or less.” He nods and rubs your shoulder.

“I’m napping. I am completely knackered.” You sigh and cuddle into him, letting your eyes shut.

“Princess, wake up. We’re here.” Niall whispers and rubs your back again. “C’mon.” He urges.

A soft, sleepy whine comes from you and you press closer for a cuddle before waking up fully. “Hi.” You smile.

“Hey there.” He kisses your nose. “Hurry!” He presses again, fighting off a giggle.

You look around for a brief moment, Niall had the driver parked at the beach. “Darling, we are going to watch the sun rise.” He grins and kisses down your neck. “I get to look at the second best thing with the first beautiful thing.”

Your heart swells, giving him a kiss, “Last I checked, I’m a girl. Not a thing.”

“Babe, I was talking about the water and the sunrise.” He teases and you whine. Niall tosses you over his shoulder, tapping your bum. “I love you and you will always be the first most beautiful woman, thing, person, in my life.” He murmurs and sets you down at the blanket that was set up. “Mi’Lady.” He chuckles.

A few stars are still twinkling faintly, the sky lightening. You shift to settle between his leg, letting your back rest against his chest. He pulls a blanket over the both of you and keeps you close. He buries his face in your hair and you shiver at his breath that goes down your neck.

“I love you.” He whispers and rubs your arm gently. “Thanks for waking up with me.” He whispers and buries his face in your neck, sucking gently to leave a light mark.

“Some people are worth waking up for that early, handsome. I love you.” You hum and turn your head to the side.

You two stay watching the water, letting Niall sing whatever he chooses.

The sun begins to peak over the water, bathing the two of you in sunlight, gleaming off the water. You notice Niall watching you. “What?” You ask softly, taking in his features, being kissed by gold. His eyes reflected only love and sunshine.

“The way your hair catches the light… It’s beautiful. And your eyes are breathtaking… You’re just glowing, baby.” He whispers and smiles.

You flush a bit, “I could say the same…” You whisper back and let your eyes flit to his lips.

“Kiss?” He asks, his voice a bit husky.

Leaning in, you whisper a quick yes before connecting your lips together. He presses closer, being sure his lips were hard against yours. His lips tasted of Irish breakfast tea and mint.

You shift so you are straddling his lap. Niall’s hands grip your hips. Your hands slide up and knot in his blonde locks. His tongue trails along your bottom lip, a soft sigh comes from you as you let your tongue meet his.

He pulls you closer to him and lays back on the blanket, bringing you with him. You giggle and kiss his nose, “Nope. We are not fucking on a public beach.”

“I wasn’t asking.” Niall whines, rolling his eyes.

“But you’re not denying that’s where you wanted it to go.” You shake your head and kiss him again.

You shift off of him, but keep your head on his chest. The two of you watch the sun get higher in the sky, staying silent, enjoying the comfortable silence.

Niall yawns and holds you close, “I am absolutely starved.” He whines. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

With a growling stomach, you nod. “Please.” You pout.

Niall helps you up and the two of you clean up the blankets on the beach before walking hand in hand back to the car, your head resting on his shoulder.

Walking in, Niall keeps you close and you two are taken to the private table in the back. The cafe was one you two frequented often. It was intimate and cozy. Also, it helped the staff expected Niall to be around so it wasn’t too big of a deal.

There was no reason to look at the menu. You would order the crepes and he would order the traditional irish breakfast, in which you would pick off of his plate.

“Kiss?” He asks, pouting a bit. You giggle and lean in to give him a long and loving kiss. “Mm, that is my favourite.” He chuckles.

“You’re my favourite.” You cup his cheek and gaze lovingly at him.

“I know.” He responds cheekily and turns to kiss your palm gently.

After the bill is taken care of and you are sipping on some tea, your eyes on Niall’s. He stretches, “Ready for the next part of our date then?” He asks, brows quirking up.

“Next part?” You furrow your brows. “Ni, this was more than enough.”

“Y/N, it’s not over. I have a whole date day planned just for us.” He nods and leans in a bit.

And how could you say no to that cute little face? You couldn’t.

“All right. Let’s go.”


	47. Disney for Two

**_Part 2 to Dusk Coloured Kisses_ **

Another long car ride. You sigh and rest your head against his arm, cuddling close to him. But this time you were determined to not fall asleep.  

Niall runs your finger through your hair, picking a single strand and playing with it, twirling it around his finger.

“That feels nice.” You mumble sleepily.

“Then I’m not stopping.” Niall whispers back.

You smile, “Oh good.” You tease and rub his thigh.

Your eyes widen when the car pulls up to the ferry. “A ferry to… France?” You asked a bit confused.

He nods slightly, “Yeah…” A smirk decorates his lips and he looks at you.

“Why are we going to France?” You ask and try to think of all the things you could do. Mainly the Eiffel- “Oh my god.” You look at him with round eyes.

Niall starts to laugh loudly, “What?” He asks and raises his brows.

“Disney! You’re taking me to Disney!” You squeal and clap.

He shrugs, “I have no idea. Bummer.” He looks out the window and raises his brows.

You huff and pout at him, cuddling into him slightly.

“You’ll see. Just relax.” He nods and kisses the top of your head.

As you get closer to your destination, Niall blindfolds you. “All for the fun of what’s in store.” He teases and kisses along your neck gently.

You let him kiss on your neck, turning your head a bit so he had better access. He bites gently and starts to suck a light mark into your neck. Letting out the soft noise only encourages him further. His hand travels up your shirt careful and pinches at your nipple, humming as he nibbles on your ear lobe.

Heat flashes down your spine and settles in your stomach. “You’re getting wet aren’t you?” He asks huskily, biting on your sweet spot.

All you can answer with is a soft whimper, your thighs tightening.

“Well that’s a bummer, I’ll have to deal with your wetness later. Because we are here!” He nods and pulls off the blind fold. “We are at the happiest place on earth. You guessed right!” He chuckles and nods.

You clap a bit and smile widely. “Yay!” Even though you were sexually frustrated, but you were excited that you were going to Disney!

Niall and you try to go on every ride possible at Disney— living in the moment of enjoying your time with him.

If you two weren’t on rides and making faces at the camera or kissing, you were meeting characters and taking selfies with them. Your favourite part was getting back at him for getting you turned on earlier…

_“Must you really eat the frozen banana like that?” He huffed as he watched you basically deep throat it and pulled off with a soft pop._

_“Yes. It is.” You giggled and trailed your tongue seductively trailed your tongue along the underside of the frozen chocolate banana. “Mm, fuck. This is soo good.” You raised your brow._

_“Why don’t you suck my cock like that?” He rolled his eyes._

_“I do, all the time.” You glanced around before you let yourself choke on the banana slightly. “Fuck.” You giggle._

_Once Niall was watching and completely engaged, you raised your brows and bit down on the frozen banana, easily tear off a huge chunk. “Yum!” You giggled at his expression._

_That was fucking great._

But the day was turning into evening and you were absolutely ravenous. “Niiii! I am hungry!” You whine at him before giving him kisses.

“Well, we have reservations at seven.” He rubs your lower back gently and holds you close.

“Where are we going?” You ask as you pull him towards the Disney store to find him something.

“You really think I am going to tell you? This whole day has been a surprise from start to finish. It will end that way.” He kisses your forehead and shakes his head, chuckling. “But I did bring you a nice change of clothes for this special restaurant.” Niall grins and give you a brief peck.

“Oh?” You brows raise up a bit.

“Yup.” Niall chuckles and hands you a duffel. “Go get changed.” He points towards a bathroom.

With a sigh, you hurry off towards the bathroom. In the duffel was a beautiful cocktail dress, your make up bag, and heels. You knew that the dress was expensive from the tags and you knew the shoes were expensive due to the red sole.

You change and touch up your make up, making it more dramatic. “Ni?” You call out when you walk out and there he was, in a suit with an open jacket. You feel warm butterflies blooming in your stomach.

“Hey Y/N. You’re bloody gorgeous.” He whistles lowly and pulls you close to him. “Gimme a twirl.” He murmurs and twirls you by the finger, smiling and leaning in to kiss your neck lovingly. “And ya smell good.” He whispers.

“Oh hush! I’m a starving girl and I will eat you if you don’t give me what I want!” You tease and kiss him, biting on his lip to make a point.

Niall laughs, “Let’s go, let’s go.” He chuckles at you and shakes his head.

“Horan, party of two.” He nods at the waitress. She nods in returns and goes to open the door for us. The entire floor was empty and when you guys look out the window it was just Disneyland below. Twinkle lights were set up everywhere and there was a single table in the middle of the floor. “Come sit, my darling.” Niall smirks and takes your hand, leading you to take a seat. “I all ready sent in our orders of food, because I know my darling princess is half starved.” He teases you.

You flush, it has creeped down your neck and over your chest. “Oh, Ni.” You murmur, biting your lip. “This is…” You choke up a bit.

“Now, now. No tears.” He murmurs and shakes his head at you, wiping the stray one that drifts down your cheek.

You take your seat, but your hand doesn’t leaves his once.

Dinner was a quiet affair, gentle words spoken between the two of you. Mostly compliments and sweet nothings.

“Are you ready for dessert?” He asks with a slight smirk.

“No funny business.” You almost whine, but you didn’t care. You were enjoying yourself far too much. Niall knew how to treat you like a right princess.

And he never failed doing so.

“Let me feed you some.” He nods and holds up a bite of chocolate cake, his look was of pure innocence.

You give him a wary look, “Okay.” You giggle a bit and open your mouth for him.

But he puts a bit on my nose, innocence still on his face, “Oh I am so sorry.” He giggles.

You whine a bit and go to wipe it off. But he stops your hand and leans in to lick the frosting off the tip of your nose. You giggle and a light shudder runs through you before you take an actual bite and moan softly. It was heavenly.

“My turn.” You smile as sweetly as possible. You hold up a the fork and go to put it on his nose instead. But Niall is anticipating it so her turns and it lands a bit on his neck.

Niall reaches for a napkin, “Oh wait there love, let me get that.” You gesture for him to get closer to you and you bring your lips to his neck. Your tongue flicks out and licks at the frosting. But that wasn’t going to do. You suck at his neck gently, being sure to leave a light mark and getting off the frosting.

He shivers under your touch, a soft moan coming from him, his hand coming up to your hair and knots his fingers gently.

Moving your head, he makes you kiss him.

Niall had made sure all of the expenses are taken care of for the dinner but he was more excited than anything. “We have time for one more ride!” He urges and pulls you along. “Let’s do the Star Wars ride!” His words were hardly understandable, dragging you to the ride.

Coming off of the ride, Niall was in rush again. “It’s close to fireworks!” He gets you to a good spot and pulls you tightly into him. You lean into him, smiling softly. “Isn’t this beautiful?” He asks and raises his brows.

You smile and nod, turning to give him a gentle kiss.

“Ah but darling, nothing compared to you.” He murmurs, leaning in to give him a kiss. You shift to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You press your hips hard against his and he moans softly against your mouth. His hands rub up and down your waist gently. His tongue traces your lips and you open your mouth to his, sighing as his tongue traces along the roof of your mouth.

Pulling away, you sigh softly, “We should get back to my flat…” You raise your brows a bit. “Because… there are things that I would like to do that require me and you… And a bed. Maybe some rope.”

Niall smirks and kisses the tip of your nose, “C’mon darling. I have the plane waiting.” He didn’t want to take the ferry back, it would take too long.

And the two of you needed to get back now.


	48. Slip Ups

“Niall!” You scream out, running as fast as your legs are taking you. But it still it isn’t enough. You heard the snarls, growls, and the scent of rotting flesh assaulted your nose.  

He is just ahead of you, hand reaching back for you. “C’mon! Faster!” He gasps out. The gun was slamming against his back and his pack feeling twenty times heavier. Niall took the heavier items, giving you the lighter. But he is feeling it now. His calves burned, his lungs screamed… How the fuck did he get you two into this situation?

_It was easy. Get in. Grab supplies, really whatever the two of you could get your hands on. Get out. Niall watched you sleep, his arms holding you. He didn’t sleep that night. It was his watch for tonight. He had set up noise traps, just in case. But he never slept heavily… Even the wind blowing too hard would wake him up._

_You were his only concern. His main concern. Your life… The most priceless thing left in this tattered world._

_Even without a bath in who knows how long… Actually he did remember, you two made love in the tub. He had brought up buckets of water from the rain (after boiling them) and put them in the tub. Niall washed you first, slow and sensually. He got the favour returned before you rode him and you two enjoyed each other._

_That was the last time either of you felt safe enough to let your guard down for an evening. Even shared the bed in the home. Both actually slpet._

_But now, you and Niall were in the forest, surrounded by make shift wind chimes. You were the one that slept and the sun was catching your hair and highlighting the pink across your nose. You were so beautiful, even with all the death, lack of showers, and the death of society itself. You were very much alive. And very much his._

_“Y/N… Wake up darling.” He murmured and kiss your forehead. He had a bit of squirrel jerky left for breakfast. But there was a need for a supply run. A soft whimper comes from you and Niall watched your body stretch up a bit. You used to be so soft, so curvy. But the lack of food, proper nutrition, and constant running and walking, the softness was replaced with hardness. You were muscular, Your sunburns turned into tans. You were once fair._

_Now you reflected the hard life of living out doors, the hard life that the two of you lived together. The likelihood of anything returning to normal? None. And never._

_He wrapped his arms around you and he heard the growling from the distance. He sighed and kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right back.” He murmured and with another kiss to your forehead. He drew his knife out and approached the dead head. He slammed his knife through the skull with a crunching squealch, the reanimated life freezes and collapses._

_Niall pushed his knife into the soil and pulled it out. Clean. “Baby, ya up? I need to go check the traps for breakfast. Today is our last day here before we raid the neighbourhoods. We will need our energy.” His voice was soft, but knew you’d hear. Both of your ears were now attuned._

_“I’m up, my love. Be safe.” You called back, yawning. You stretched, sipping on the water. You packed up slowly, sighing softly. This was the part you hated but you loved. You and Niall got to pretend on occasion, that you two are simply a normal couple, living in the damned house. Then the zombies would be scratching at the door, snarling and groaning. Then it was off, supplies stuffed into your back pack, knives stuffed into boots, strapped to thighs, and runs over the back and on the hips._

_Always too good to be true._

_Niall came back with a squirrel. “This should last us through today and a bite of tomorrow.” He nodded as he started to skin the squirrel and clean it properly._

_You combed your hair back and tied it up in a tight French braid, tucking the braid into your collar of your shirt. It wasn’t that long anymore. But you can never be too save. They could pull on it. You lit a small fire and took the meat Niall handed to you and cooked it._

“Faster!” Niall yells, his hand gripping your hand more tightly. The sweat made it slippery. You try to hold his hand.

So many biters. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Niall had cleared it. He knew he had. He had to. That is his job as your boyfriend and your partner in this apocalypse. You two were all each other had in this. You couldn’t loose each other.

You trip, rolling. You grip your knife out of your leg strap and bring it to the skull of the first walker that lands on you. Then the next.

Niall turns and starts to shoot. He really shouldn’t be wasting bullets. Save those for serious situations.

You were his serious situation. Always.

_You two walked hand in hand, always one hand on the knife on your hip, his hand on the gun. You two don’t talk, because you can’t._

_But you also didn’t need to. That was the positive part of being together as long as you two have. Enjoying the quiet moments. Even if that meant the quiet was all the time._

_Death around you meant silence. No slip ups. Those were not allowed._

_No gun play. No noise. Just stabbing, driving the knife into skulls… All of that. Nothing. You squeezed Niall fingers and smiled at him. “Love you.” You mouthed to him. He leaned over and kissed your forehead. “You too.” He whispers._

_“Clear!” Niall calls from the living room. You entered the house and pushed the couch against the door. You helped go through the cupboards and drawers. There were a few cans left. But not much just chicken broth and peas. The broth was the best find._

_“I think if we go down the block and then go left for a few blocks we will be hitting town.” You said thoughtfully, peeking out the blinds. “Where did you want to go after this? We need to come to another home base.”_

_“I’m telling ya, we need to build a tree house in the middle of the forest. We won’t ever have to worry about a dead head getting us. Rope ladder so we wont have to worry about pieces of shit getting us either.” He murmured and did another look through the pantry._

_“Sounds lovely.” You giggled a bit and come over to give him a kiss. “Let’s go. Nothing is left here.”_

_With a nod, his hand takes yours and you two keep to the middle of the road._

_Sure enough, there was the town, walkers crawling every where. You pointed out the grocery store. “Medical supplies would be there. Maybe some nails.” You teased him a bit. He had been talking about the tree house for awhile. But you didn’t like staying in one place for too long._

_That was how both your family and his family died. Thinking they were safe in the camp they were in._

_Now Niall was all you had left and you were all that Niall had._

_“I don’t think anyone has been in it. It looks boarded up.” He nodded a bit, eyeing through the scope of the gun. “Have a look.”_

_You did so and nod. “Let’s get this going.” You let out a deep, long breath. This was gong to be a long day and you were worried._

_But the two of you had each other’s back._

Niall gets as many as he can down, killing as many as possible. You are screaming and thrashing as to not get bit. He pulls you up and over his shoulder, trying to outrun the hoard that is right behind you.

Where was he going to take you? Where was he going to go? He needs to get you both to safety. And you definitely rolled your ankle. And you also had a pack on your back.

Niall starts the sprint back to the neighbourhoods. “Baby, you need to tell me when you can walk.” He pants out, barely able to breathe as he keeps doing his breath under control.

“Put me down. I will do my best.” You basically demand. You two need to get going an1d run faster. You notice that Niall is heading towards the neighbourhoods again. You two need to go faster. Him carrying you isn’t fast enough. You both need to get to safety.

Niall is your number one priority just like you were his.

He isn’t sure to put you down, “Your leg!” He pants out.

“Put me down!” You snap and wiggle a bit. They are right behind you at this point.

Niall pushes you off of him and you run as cast as you can, limping and fighting the tears. Niall had wasted enough bullets all ready. “Neighbourhood!” You gasp and keep sprinting as well as you can.

_The two of you had made it as close as you can so far._

_“Inside, let’s go.” You signaled for Niall to go inside of the store, you had your gun, ready for any walkers, watching Niall’s back._

_A soft whistle came from inside and you go inside. “Jesus. It’s been untouched.” You whispered to him and look around._

_Niall grinned and nodded, “Let’s fucking stock up.” He pulled out a couple duffel bags from the packs and handed you one and took one for himself. He took one side of the store while you took the other. He paused when he saw canned strawberries. Your favourite fruit. He usually tried to only get food that would provide as much protein, maybe a sweet here and there if you two came across it. But nothing like the fruits. But… It was your favourite. He puts it in the bottom of his pack._

_You ventured in deeper, stuffing your backpack with medical supplies and protein rich snack as you went. You came across the janitors closet and opened the door, not thinking too much about it. Just wanting the first aid kits that were in there._

_There was an emergency exit off the janitor’s closet, which was left wide open. Zombies poured out of the door and you screamed out, “Niall!! Run!” You stumbled back before you got ahold of your feet and started to sprint towards the front of the store, Niall was all ready there, waiting, stabbing as many dead heads as he could that had gathered at the front glass doors._

_“They are right there, cmon!” Stress coloured your tone. Niall finally pushed the doors open and the two of you stab and push through as much as you could. There was just so many walkers. So hard to fucking get through all of them. You run as fast as you can, but doing that wasn’t enough—even when the two of you broke through the throng of zombies, you two still weren’t fast enough._

_“Niall!” You screamed out, running as fast as your legs are taking you. But it still it wasn’t enough. You heard the snarls, growls, and the scent of rotting flesh assaulted your nose.  Panic rose in your chest. This could be it. The end of the journey for you… You prayed that you would be enough to make sure Niall got away._

Niall throws himself through the back window and you try to get over it as well. He yanks you in. The glass cut into your thighs and you cry out. “Sorry, sorry!” He mumbles and pulls you along. “Upstairs!” He pulls the table against the door and push and pushes the couch in front of the front door while you’re struggling to get up the stairs, the biters pounding at the doors, walls, and windows.

He helps you up the rest of the stairs and you two barricade yourselves into a room. It was going to be a long couple of days. Because the two of you had to wait out the biters.

* * *

He had wrapped your ankle up nice and tight and tended to your cuts that were left behind from the shards of glass from the window. While Niall slept, you sewed the small cuts and sat in self loathing.

If you had gone about that and been smart and checked to make sure that the room was empty and there was nothing in there. But you didn’t. You sigh heavily and close your eyes before looking at the sleeping Niall. His hand gripping the hilt of his knife, eyes closed, a slight frown between his brows, and a pout on his lips. Your heart squeezes tightly. You could have lost him, because of your little slip up. You tear up and start to cry, silently. Niall is your world and all you had left. You bury your face in your hands and cry.

Niall at this point with the world woke easily, at the slightest thing. Your sniffles wake him and he frowns when he sees you. “Come here.” He says sleepily and pulls you close to him. “I love you.” He murmurs and holds you close to him.

“I am so sorry. I-I don’t know what I was thinking.” You whisper out and cry into his chest. “I should have done better! I should have checked!”

“Baby, baby. It’s okay. I promise.” He whispers back and rubs your back. He almost lost you and he didn’t. He counts this as a win. “I love you. And we are both okay.” He looks into your eyes.

“I should have checked. I should have made sure. I wouldn’t have twisted my ankle, you wouldn’t have wasted bullets and-and-and—“ You were getting more panicky as you kept speaking.

Niall cups your cheeks and kisses you. “You didn’t. And that all happened. But don’t ever say I wasted bullets on you, because I didn’t. Not a single one. Petal, you’re worth all the bullets.” He whispers and kisses you again. “You sleep for this shift and I’ll take watch. I hear a few dead heads and I don’t want our whispering to attract them up here.” He murmurs and makes you lay in the bed and tucks you in.

You fall asleep almost immediately, the crying didn’t help your situation. But you also don’t remember the last time you fell asleep in an actual bed—without having sex first that is.

Niall didn’t wake you up for your watch shift, he let you sleep through the rest of the day and the night. It wasn’t until morning, your watch said it was 730. You groan and sit up. “Ni?” You call out softly.

“I’m here.” He says from his spot at the window. He had snoozed on and off throughout the night but not too much. “How are you feeling, Y/N?” He asks you in a sleepy tone.

“You didn’t wake me up for a watch shift.” You don’t answer the question, you were a bit concerned he hadn’t slept at all.

“You had a hard last 12 hours. You could use all the sleep you got.” He replies and gets up, helping you sit up. “There are still some walkers around and in the house. I say we give it half a day and then go on from there.” He murmurs, rubbing your cheek.

You nod slightly, “Okay, we can do that.” You stretch and flex your foot a bit. You wince, but it wasn’t as bad as it was before. “You sleep and I’ll wake you at half day. I promise.” You move out of the bed and push him onto it. “I’ll keep watch.” You sit in the chair and nod slightly at Niall.

No argument comes from as he closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep immediately, snores coming from him. You smile softly and bring your eyes out the dusty window. So much could have changed for the both of you today. But it didn’t. And for that, you thanked your lucky stars.

By half day, the walkers wandered away from the house and you woke Niall up, “Let’s go, darling. Might only be one or two left. And you and I can get out of here. I saw a few cars while walking towards here… Maybe check the garage.” You nod and stretch.

Niall nods a bit but pulls you down for a cuddle. “When was the last time we properly spooned without too much fear?” He asks and kisses along your shoulder gently.

“It’s been awhile.” You sigh and roll over to face him, wrapping your leg over his hip and pressing your chest against his. “I love cuddling with you though, Horan.” You giggle.

“Well, Mrs. Horan, I love cuddling you and wish we could do it more often.” He kisses your nose and sighs.

You two obviously didn’t have a normal ceremony, but he got you a diamond ring and band at one of the stores you two came across awhile ago and that’s what counted. He wore his band that you managed to find with pride as well.

With one more kiss and a few more moments of cuddles, Niall sighs. “Let’s go find us a car.”

After killing a few walkers here and there, you two find an old Honda that worked and you two were elated. “Where do we even go?” He asks, gripping the steering wheel. “We’ve been just trying to survive… No end in mind.” Niall bites his lips and turns to look at you. “We need to have an end all… Or at least… Something that we can call safe.” He says softly and cups your cheek. “I want us to be safe. I want you safe.” He sighs and searches your eyes.

“Well, I don’t even know where to look first.” You mumble and sigh, shifting your gaze out the window.

“Well… We can build a tree house in the forest close to where we are at. That store was fucking stocked.”

“Okay, great. But what happens when that runs out? We need something more than just a tree house—“

Niall interrupts your shut down of him. “We start there and then we have small plots of land down below with plants and what not. Then we build another tree house across the way and put animals that we find there. We can make this work.” He presses.

You sigh and give him a long look. “Fine. Fine. We will… Try and figure something out. Okay?” You murmur and raise your brows slightly at him. _You need to give this a try with him. He is doing the same with you._

“Really?” Niall brightens up and smiles widely at you. “Baby… Thank you!” He grins and kisses you lovingly. “I all ready was scoping trees from the neighbourhood. I found a few good ones, we just need to go high.”

* * *

Niall beamed up at the tree. You two managed to get it high up enough that it would be hard to get up without ladders. And by that time… Niall or you would have killed them. “And if we need to go… Move somewhere. We can. As long as there is a forest!” He teases and kisses your temple. “After you.” He gestures to the rope ladder.

You pull yourself up and climb, for what feels like forever. But eventually you get to the top. This wouldn’t last forever… It couldn’t. It would get cold and you two would have to take proper shelter. In a home or something where you two could make it.

But right now, you are not focusing on that. It isn’t fair to Niall. This is what he wanted.

Niall comes up right behind you and pulls the rope ladder up. “Ours.” He says proudly and wraps you up tightly in his arms. “High above the walkers… And others. We are safe here.” He sighs.

You both knew that this was your illusion of safe. No such thing really. Maybe you two would come across a group that offered that. But you two liked your group of two. That is safe. Not the unknown.

“Home.” Is all you say and look up at Niall with a smile.

“Home.” He nods. He bites on his lip a bit. “And… For a house warming party… I have something planned for us. It’ll be fun!” Niall grins.

“Which is…?” You ask and go to lay on your sleeping bag, which was laid out next to his.

“I’m taking me girl on a date.” He puffs his chest out and comes over to give you a kiss and lay next to you. “And a big thank you for letting us try and be stationary for awhile.” He whispers and rests his forehead against yours.

“You’re welcome.” You whisper back and search his eyes with a smile. His happiness is your everything.

* * *

A date? This wasn’t the old world. But who were you to turn down a night with your man when those never happened anymore. This wasn’t like before. But like you two love to do… Pretending for a night.

You two drive for about twenty minutes turning down dark and windy streets, which could only be identified where the headlights touched. Niall took a turn off a gravel road and down a dirt path lined on either side by the tall, dark shadows of pines and oaks.  You press your face to the cold glass curious about where the hell he was taking you.

Niall drives for another couple miles down a dirt road before he turns off the car lights. The only way the path of the road could be made out is by the dim silvery light of the moon.

“What are you doing?” I ask, feeling anxious what we could run into out here in the darkness, only seeing a few feet in front of us.

“You’ll see.” He says as his eyes barrows suspiciously and a knowing grin grows on his face.

There is a change in the road as the soft sound of dirt under the tires give way to crunching sounds. Gravel.

Niall pulls the car up and parks it. He turns the head lights back on. You two are in front of a drive in theatre screen.

No movies. Just the story of you and him, together, safe in the car, bathed in the silver moonlight.

You reach your hand towards his and cover it. After a moment you give it a light squeeze.

He turned his hand so he could grasp yours finger tips and then pulls your hand to his lips. He plants a gentle kiss across your knuckles.

Niall twists in his seat and reaches into the back, rummaging through his back pack. He returns to his original position with his hands full of packets and cans and spoons. He drops everything into his lap and holds them up for you to examine.

“Our entrée.” He holds up a packet of crackers. “Main.” He holds up the can of spaghetti-o’s with meat balls. “And dessert.” He holds up the canned strawberries. Your favourite, your heart melts a bit.

Taking the crackers, you nibble on one, trying the distract you from all of the emotions that we’re building in you. You are not even hungry, your stomach is flipping over so much you couldn’t even think about eating.

Niall pops the lid on the can of spaghetti-o’s and starts to eat them with his spoon. You watch him with dopey lovesick eyes as he eats.

“Best movie date I’ve ever been on.” You whisper as you come back to your sense.

“It’s not just that.” Niall leans forward and rummages through the glove compartment of the Honda and pulls out three ancient and faded looking CD’s.

“Music?” You smile up brightly at him, opening the strawberries and eating a few before feeding him a couple bites. You set them aside when he comes up with cases.

He fans them out for you, “I got Guns ‘n’ Roses, Bon Jovi, and Aerosmith.”

You lean over and brush a kiss against the scruff on his cheek. “Guns ‘n’ Roses.”

Niall skips around until he finds his song to you. He looks at you, smiling and singing. Niall has always had the most beautiful singing voice.

“ _She’s got a smile it seems to me_

_Reminds me of childhood memories_

_Where everything_

_Was as fresh as the bright blue sky_

_Now and then when I see her face_

_She takes me away to that special place_

_And if I’d stare too long_

_I’d probably break down and cry.._ ”

You turn it down a bit and lean in to whisper against his lips,

“ _Oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet Niall o’ mine_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet love of mine.._

_He’s got eyes of the bluest skies_

_As if they thought of rain_

_I hate to look into those eyes_

_And see an ounce of pain_

_His hair reminds me of a warm safe place_

_Where as a child I’d hide_

_And pray for the thunder_

_And the rain_

_To quietly pass me by_.”

You sing the corrections effortlessly. Because they were all true. Between the two of you.

His hand rests on his knee and you reach over it, taking it in yours and giving it a squeeze.

You smile at him and lean into kiss him. You stop short as you think of something better. “Cmon.” You say as you push the car door open and step out into the chill of the night.

“Where are we going?” He calls to you as he changes the CD to Bon Jovi and steps out.

You circle around the car and grab both his hands, pulling him to the front of the car so you two were illuminated by the high lights of the car.

“Dancing.” You whisper. You pull his hands around your waist and rest them on your lower back. Putting your hands on his shoulders, you begin to gently sway from side to side. Niall gives into the movement and holds you close.

Niall tightens his grip on my hips and draws me into the warmth of his chest. You reach your arms further around his neck and drop your head onto his shoulder.

His lips brushes against my ear, sending a chilled through your body, “I love you.” He whispers, barely audible.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself didn’t into a place of warmth and safety as he sways you slowly back and forth. You could have fallen asleep right there and then in his embrace, forgetting about the cold, and the dangers of the world. A low rumbling in his wakes you up a bit.

He is singing in a soft, raspy, barely audible voice, along with the song on the stereo.

“ _I’ll be there for you_

_I’d live and I’d die for you_

_I’d steal the sun from the sky for you_

_Words can’t say what love can do_

_I’ll be there for you.”_

Niall suddenly stills, making you lift your head and look to his face, drawn in concern. “We have company.” He mutters.

Looking to where his gaze is, you see a dead guy amblin towards the two of you. They clothing blending in with his rotting flesh. He drags his broken ankle behind him, alerting Niall of the presence of him.

Niall pulls away from you, turning back towards the car. “Let’s go back to our soon to be home.”

Sighing in frustration, you flip off the walker and get into the car, pouting. You slam the door and fold your arms. A shudder runs through you as the hot air from the heater hits your cold skin.

Niall turns the music down and goes to turn the ignition. But while examining the flex of his bicep as he reaches forward, you put your hand on top of his to stop him. You aren’t going to let a dead head ruin your date.

“You know, there’s other things that are supposed to happens on dates.” You say suggestively, your brows raising a bit at him.

Niall’s lip quirks at the side and he rubs his hand together. He turns to look at the hatch, “You wanna do it in the Honda..?” He grins.

“Fuck yeah I do.” You giggle and bat your eyelashes at him a bit.

“Fuckin bring it baby girl.” He smirks at you and raises his brow.

Wiggling your way out of your jeans, you make your way over to him, making sure you’re on your knees over him—straddling him down.

After some head banging and horn tooting, you are in the most perfect straddled position. The heat between your legs pushed against the firm denim over the fly of his jeans.

“I’ll do the moving.” He whispers. You nod and smile.

You take no time in tugging his shirt off, but having to shift, your back knocked against the horn again. “Oops.” You giggle and rub your hands over his muscle hardened chest.

“Y/N…” He leans back and glares past you to the front windshield. The zombie three himself against the hood of the car with a. Thumb. “Should I—”

“No. It’s only one.” You huff and attach your lips to his neck.

With a defeated sigh, Niall nods. Your tongue runs along his hot and salty flesh from the base of his neck up to his ear. Your fingers trail along the bare flesh down along his V-line. Niall shudders in response and his hands slip from gripping your naked thighs to rub your lower back. He tugs you forward, pressing you into his bare chest. Your kisses trailed from his ear down his cheek and a hungry kiss to his lips.

You both groan as your lips part and your tongues meet.

Niall gently pulls off your shirt and pulls your bra down so your tits are exposed. His mouth didn’t leave yours as he keeps kissing you. It only makes you wetter and whimper into his mouth.

He presses you backwards and his kisses left your lips and make their way down to your chin and kisses down your neck. His kisses find their way down the center of your chest and you lean back further until you hit the horn again, making you both jump. Niall chuckles hot air between your tits. “This is the worst idea ever.” He teases and bites down on one of your nipples with his teeth, pinching the other between his thumb and his forefinger.

You jump again, hitting into the horn again, causing Niall to chuckle again. He reaches his hand down the side of the seat and with a flex of his bicep, the chair slid back a few inches. Shifting his hands to support your lower back, Niall continued to move his mouth down your chest until her reaches the middle of your tummy. You arch your back carefully, allowing him more access while not hitting the horn again. Niall’s hands slipped from my hips to the hem of my panties, “These need to come off.” He growls. You lean on the door for support as you bring your leg up and onto his lap. With more maneuvering and twisting, and plenty of horn honking, you two finally get them off.

Another thud to the car causes you to both jump. Another nasty walker with it’s decaying face up against the window.

“Terrible idea.” Niall groans and reaches for his gun in the back seat. You grab his head between your hands and turn him to face you. You give him a hot and heavy kiss, your tongue pressing into his mouth.

There is an initial hesitancy, but soon his kisses met your forcefulness and his hands pull against your back firmly. Your tits were  pressing into his chest.

Your hands slip from his face down to his broad, strong shoulder. You trail your fingers along his chest and slide down his body until you reach his belt buckle. You keep your lips firmly pressed to his and undo his belt. You slip your hand inside his jeans and boxers, wrapping your hand his hard cock.

Stroking slowly and firmly, you whimper a bit as Niall pinches at your nipple. You flick your wrist a little and move your hand faster as his hands travel down your body and goes to massage your bum. You bite a bit on your lip and run your thumb over the head of his dick. He moves his fingers to run over your soaking pussy. “Jesus, girl.” He teases.

Niall spreads his legs apart a little, making your legs part. His fingers press at your opening, brushing over your clit gently before spreading your wetness around and teasing you into a state of heightened anticipation. You move your hand more quickly on his cock as he continued to tease. He starts to groan and rock his hips to meet your movements.

He pushes a finger into you and you let out a soft whimper, tightening around his finger as a hot wave crashed through you and down your legs. His lips left yours and he tucks his face into your neck, biting and sucking as he grips your ass with one hand and keeps working his finger in and out of you, his rough palm rubbing against your clit.

You cum unexpectedly, moaning loudly and arching back, hitting the horn again. But neither of you noticed that you did so, nor were you worried about all of the walkers that were gathering. You keep moaning towards the ceiling of the car as your hips twitch and pussy tightens around his fingers. When you finally calmed down, Niall’s hands move to his jeans. He brings his hips up and he wiggles out of his jeans, bringing them down his thighs.

Niall grips his cock for you, keeping it steady, and rubbing the head along your clit and teasing your pulsing opening. You are ready to push down on him and ride him for all that you were worth. However, his expression causes you to pause. Concern etched his features and you turn to see what he was looking at. Four walkers groaning their way towards the glaring headlights.

“We’ll make it quick.” You breathe out and push yourself down onto him. He moans loudly and you whimper out.

Grabbing hold of his shoulders, you tug him against your body and begin to grind your hips, enjoying the feel of his dick in you.

“Condom.” Niall gasps out, trying to find the square package in his pocket, but you weren’t having it. You weren’t going to ruin the orgasm because some fucking freaks decided to ruin an intimate moment. You lock your hips down on his and continue rolling and grinding your hips.

Niall’s hand slap against the driver side of the window that had covered with fog in the last few minutes due to your panting breaths had filled the air and clung to the windows. His fingers, still gripping the unwrapped condom, drag across the glass, leaving a clear mark in the fog.  

“Fuuuuck.” He moans as you begin to bounce on his cock, purposefully tightening yourself around him.

You let out a loud squeal followed up with a loud moan, your hips rocking a bit as your clit catches on his pubic bone. You start to cum again, moaning and whimpering. His hips rut up into you, he pants out your name softly. You felt him throbbing in you and the condom dropped from his fingers.

When you both finally stop, you squeeze him close to you, your hands rubbing along his sweat covered back, both of you trying to catch your breath.

“Fuck.” You giggle and look at him.

“Fuck is right. We need to be better about condoms.” He chides but kisses the corner of your mouth, “Dunno what the fuck I am gonna do with you.” He teases and kisses you on the lips.

You just flutter your lashes innocently at him, “Dunno what you’re talking about.” You murmur before hugging him tight to you.

Niall’s dick twitched inside of you and you bite on your lip, wanting to go again and if you could. But the shifting side to side of the Honda, without your movements, made you keep your mouth shut. You wipe the windows and peek through. There was a walker covering every inch of glass, groaning and clawing at the glass. You hadn’t even realized. “We should get going.” You murmur to Niall.

You pull off of him and you both get redressed quickly and Niall mows straight the cluster of walkers.

“Back home.” He murmurs and smiles fondly at you.

“Home.” You smile back at him, lacing your finger with his. 


	49. This Town

[ **[x](http://www.vevo.com/watch/USUMV1600413?isrc=USUMV1600413&share_location=ingestion)** ]

Niall wakes up, doing the familiar motion of rolling over to give you a good morning kiss… But nobody was there. He sighs and rolls back over, staring at the ceiling. It had been up to a year since you left him. But the smell of your perfume was still stuck in the air… It’s hard.

* * *

 

Every piece of you remained with him, it haunts him—it lingers. Just yesterday, he thought he saw your shadow running around.

Nothing ever changes. Especially in this small town.

This is where you two met and where you two broke up. Niall is trapped here, so far from the stars. All he wants to do is tell you everything… Especially the words he was never able to tell you the first time around.

_You’re beautiful. Breathtaking. Kind. Thoughtful. Loving._

All those words were always on the tip of his tongue. The ones he wished he could tell you now. Wish he could tell you tomorrow… The ones he should have said then.

The memories of you weren’t going anywhere… Ever. He remembers from when the two of you were children, playing in the fairground. Times were easier. Holding hands, sneaking kisses… Niall wishes that you both were living in that time, letting it be on repeat.

Niall sits up and runs his hand through his hair, his thoughts making him want to stay in bed.

He isn’t over you. Not even a little.

_“Niall, I can’t do this anymore.” You said quietly, eyes brimmed with tears, “You are all I know—“_

_“Is that so bad, Y/N? I am lucky to have you as one of the only women I know.” He replied quietly, his own tears escaping, tracing down his cheeks._

_“I need to get out of here. Get away. Experience the world. I can’t just be the girl who never left Mullingar, going to the same pub over and over, and being with the same man forever. There is the_ entire world _waiting for me!” Your voice was thick; you were trying hard to swallow so you didn’t cry in front of him. Make it harder. “I’m moving out. I’m moving back in with my parents and I am going to see the world.”_

Niall still tries to understand you, understand your choice. Even with your desire for the world, he’d find you anywhere, drive over highways and byways to be there with you. Let the whole world dance while he dances with you. Everything comes back to you, it was the only truth.

He gets up, padding over to his to bathroom. He sighs as he takes in his tired face. You are with someone new.  Seven months. It took you 200 days to get over him, to move on…

_“Mate, she’s back home.” Harry said quietly, looking up at his sad-eyed friend._

_You had been gone for five months, traveling to America and over Europe and Asia. During all of that,_ _Niall couldn’t bear to look at any forms of social media, seeing your eyes… Your smile. It just would drive the knife deeper._

_“Home?” Niall asked, distractedly._

_“Yeah… But, Niall—look at me.” Harry spoke lowly. Only when the big blue eyes met his, he continued, “She’s dating Matt now…” You had been since you got home from your international travels. You didn’t even tell Niall. Like you had promised him you would. So the two of you could pick it up where you two left off._

_Niall blinked slowly, “Matt… Matt Goulet?” He was more of an acquaintance to Niall, which only made it worse._

_“Yeah buddy.” Harry nodded. “I’m so sorry.”_

_After staring at Harry for a bit, Niall nodded in return. “Good for her.” He said, voice cracking._

_Harry swallowed thickly, “Want to call up Deo and get drunk tonight?” He asked, gripping his best friend’s shoulder._

_“Let’s get fucking lit.” Niall nodded. He would forget the memories of you two being together. It didn’t help that you two have been together since you were children._

That night was the first of many drunken nights, purposely choosing different pubs than the one you and Niall would go to. He wouldn’t say that he had a problem with the bottle, but he preferred the drink to being sober. Easier to not remember or realizing how hard it was.

Because, what kind of childhood best friend turned girlfriend would leave someone high and dry? Maybe it is time for him to finally move on too.

##  **_200 Days Later_ **

In the last seven months, Niall did several things: he took a job in London to get out of Mullingar, he let his hair go completely brunette, growing out his scruff, and he got over you. Yes, you would always serve a special place in his heart, best childhood friend, first girlfriend, first love… But, you would stay there. You had moved on, so had he.

But sometimes… He couldn’t help but wonder, _what if_?

He kept his small home in Ireland so he could visit as often as he may—even though it wasn’t frequent. Home is still home. And it was the perfect get away from London for a lad’s weekend. 

Niall wakes up, taking a deep breath before rolling over and burying his face in his pillows. The familiar smell of clean sheets calms him.  He left his window open so the smell of grass and land would be in his room. 

Better than any perfume.

“Niall!” Harry grins, hugging him close. Harry stayed in Mullingar but visits Niall frequently in London.

“Hey Haz.” He hugs him back before leaning over and hugging Deo, “Deo,” He says quietly and squeezes him.

“Ni,” Deo squeezes back.

“How about we hit Danny Brynes Pub today, boys?” Niall grins and looks between the two. Niall hasn’t been for over a year. Since the break up and since the move.

It was time.

After they both agree, the three of them talk the short drive to the pub for a pint, cheesy chips, and good conversation.

The conversation was light. He told them about the handful of women that he is between—mainly the ones he met at pubs and clubs. It was a whole new energy in the big city. When it isn’t talk of women it is talk of work.

The door opens and Niall glances up. His heart is in his throat, his pulse quickens, his palms grow sweaty. It’s the fairground all over again, when he realized that he loved you—he wishes to go back.

_“I bet you a kiss, I can win you a stuffed animal by the end of the night.” Niall boasted, his chest puffed with pride. But really, he just wanted a kiss for you._

_“Fine. I bet that you can’t.” You stuck your tongue out at him and giggle._

_All he was now was determined._

_By the end of the night, Niall won you six stuffed animals going through the entirety of his allowance for the week._

_“All right, Y/N. I believe I get six kisses from you.” Niall smirked and winked at you._

_“I am sure that it was only a kiss if you won me a stuffed animal. I don’t remember a kiss an animal…” You blushed deeply._

_Niall plopped on the corner of the gate. “Are ya gonna kiss me or not, Y/N?”_

_With a huff, you gave Niall Horan your very first kiss. Leaning in, tasting the popcorn on his chapped lips._

_“I get five more,” He insisted, grinning ear to ear._

_“Maybe tomorrow. Me mum is going to want me home!” With that, you ran off before he could coerce more kisses from you._

_Niall knew then, he loved you. Probably forever._

Everything comes back to you.

Niall watches Matt follow closely, his arm tight around your waist. _Fuck._ Niall kept his eyes intent on the two of you as you sit down. A small peck here, a neck nuzzle there. _Ouch. This is so hard. So fucking hard._ His mind goes to everything that he should have said.

_Don’t go. Let’s make it work. I love you. I have always loved you and always will._

If it was up to Niall, with the whole pub watching, he will still dance with you. Matt or no Matt. He would drive anywhere to meet you the moment that you called. Because the only truth at the end of all of this? Everything comes back to you.

Nerves settle in Niall’s stomach. He didn’t know that you would still make him feel that way when you walked in. The butterflies that seemed to have gone dormant over the last year came alive. They made him feel full and light. Niall wants to laugh, he hasn’t felt this since he last saw you.

 _I can’t move on,_ Niall bites on his lip as he thinks. There is just something about you… He would walk through the desert, he would swim over oceans just to see you smile.

You would always be there. Everything will always come back to you, because of this town.


	50. True Outlaw

You sit in the clubhouse, looking out the window. There was one man you were waiting for. He was brunette with sun bleached hair, tall, broad, and the very reason why you were seen as a 'clubhouse whore'. Those girls who were waiting, and waiting, hoping to be picked up by one of the Irish Brothers of Mayhem, becoming an 'Old Lady'.

That was always the end goal.

That's why you were there, wearing tiny ass leather shorts, fishnet stockings, a small tank top, with their patch and name. Your tits were out and your make up was a bit overdone, your hair curled to perfection.

You had your eye on Niall Horan. The one who worked his way up so far he was now the right hand man to the president.

Girls were thirsting after him. They were what they all wanted. But so far, he had only eyes for you.

However, it didn't stop him from drunkenly rolling into bed with a different girl when he saw fit. You wanted to be the drunken whore he rolled around in bed with. But you never were.

Your heart skips a beat when you hear the growl of the Harley's rolling up. It might have skipped a beat before but now it was in overdrive. Pounding and pattering fast and hard.

The familiar blonde hair was poking out from underneath his helmet.

* * *

 

If there was one thing Niall loved more than pussy, it was his bike, his club, and his brothers. Soon, his Old Lady would be added-but he actually had to find one he felt for.

He parked his Harley on the right of the president, Harry O’Malley (due to being his VP and his best friend), and Liam Kelly was on the other side. Louis Tomlinson, or O'Tommo-was Niall's other best friend  (only seen as Irish since his English fuck father dipped out. His Irish mum raised him right there in Ireland).

"Boys, I dunno about you, but I'm ready to go drown in booze and pussy." Louis stretches.

Niall chuckles and shakes his head, "You all know which one is off limits."

Liam rolls his eyes, "Oh cmon. She is prime pussy and hasn't been touched since you told the club to back the hell off."

"Yeah, mate, I've been meaning to tap that for a long while. And I can't. But yet you're burying yourself in other gashes." Harry gives you a look.

"Oh lay off it! You have your Old Lady, and you love her!" Niall pushes into him and laughs.

Harry and Ana had been high school sweethearts. She was that sweet, innocent school girl-looking damn fine in those Catholic school uniforms. While he was the bad boy-she couldn't help herself. They were hitched a year ago.

And she has  taken to being an Old Lady rather well. Especially to the president no less.

"I do. But i won't be able to hold off on others-"

"She's just not around for fucking. Y/N is Old Lady material. I'm just-"

"But a wee bit shy, aren't ya Nialler." Louis shoves Niall.

"Oh shuddup." Niall flames at the cheeks, going into the club house. He glances over at you and his heart skips a beat and his stomach filled with butterflies.

 _Fucking pussy_. He forced his eyes away and winks at another biker whore before going to pour himself a triple shot of Jack. He sips on it slowly and shoots shit with the rest of his brothers. About girls, about work, and towards each other.

You knew he had glanced at you, your heart squeezed in that moment. But it was ever so fleeting as he turned his attention to another girl. Which hurt you a bit. But what could you do? You had all ready approached him once before. And he had said now. And since then... You being laid by _anyone_ was not a possibility. You got looks. But no one touched.

You were afraid of what that was saying for you. You were no longer seen as... Desirable. Soon you wouldn't be needed by the club. And you'd be out.

Ana walks out of the office and calls Harry to the back. A smirk dances on his lip as he follows her and the door slams.

Niall laughs and shakes his head.

You fight the 'aw' and sigh. That's all you wanted. Now, you might not even get it.

You pull on a sweatshirt over your small tank top and head to the roof for some time on your own. You flirted enough for one day. And people were starting to fuck and you just wanted your time. You lean back against the vent and sigh.

Niall had the same thought, going up to clear his mind, clean, crisp air is all he wanted. He didn't realise you were there.

He walks to the edge and pull out his pack of fags out of his cut and light one up.

"Can I bum one of those?" You ask after you realise it's Niall on the roof with you.

Niall jumps and turns around swiftly, hang going to his knife at his hip.

Your hands go up immediately, "It's just me. I'm sorry." You say quickly.

He chuckles breathlessly, "I'm sorry." He hands you a fag. "There you are, petal."

That was hands down the sweetest thing you've ever been called ever-and especially since you took part in being a club whore. "Thanks." You do your best to not squeak out.

He lights his lighter and waits for you to lean in. You do so and keep your eyes on his as you puff the cigarette up.

You take a drag and blow the smoke away. "How are you?" You ask softly and go to sit against the vent.

Niall snorts a bit and takes a few long drags and puffs. "How am I?"

"Well... Yeah? That's a normal question-"

"I am not normal." He says softly and shrugs.

You arch a brow and take a long pull on the fag,  "Hm?"

"I uh... Kill people for a living, run whore houses, and oh yeah-push drugs and guns. So, how am I? Stressed all the time." Niall laughs and takes a seat.

You follow suit and glance at him. "That's fair. Feelings are personal. I get it." You shrug and finish your cigarette. "Share what you see fit." With a slight nod, you recite what girls have been telling you is the key to being good Old Lady. You don't press.

"How are you, Y/N?" Niall asks quietly and looks at you.

You shrug, "I am fantastic.” Biker whores were always fine. Regardless if they were or not.

Niall keeps his eyes on yours, studying yours. You meet his gaze, unwaveringly. Even his blue eyes make you weak in the knees. “Right.” He nods slightly and shrugs. “Well, I think I have some club business to attend to this evening.” Niall bites on his nail for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow night up here?” He asks and raises his brows slightly.

“If that’s what you want.” You murmur and nod, fighting the smile that was begging to be let out.

“It is. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stands up and stretches a bit before leaving the roof.

You let a huge grin cover your face and you cuddle further into the hoodie he left behind. Niall seems interested and you honestly couldn’t believe it. Especially with the way things had been going on.

* * *

 

Niall heads down to the meeting room and sits at the right hand of Harry.

“Where ya been Horan? We’ve been waitin’ on you. We have the fucking Slovakians breathing down our neck and you’re smoking away on the roof.” Louis roll shis eyes at you.

“Well are we going to get them their guns or no?” Niall rolls his eyes and sits down. “It’s not rocket science.”

“Mates, relax.” Harry says seriously and raps his knuckle on the desk a few times.

The table falls silent as Harry takes a sip out of his glass of whiskey. “So, the Slovakians and Russians… The Laks are killing the Russians, the Russians are putting it on us because they are “our guns”. We are selling to those who are selling to those who are reselling.” Harry rubs his forehead and sighs. “We need to put the English in check, because they are the ones causing us problems with the others.” He nods.

Various club members nod and knock on the table.

“Great. Liam, Louis, go take care of the English, take Deo, Nick, and Ollie.” Harry nods a bit and glances towards Niall, “You’re with me. We are going to go have a chat with the Laks. We will bring some to have our back.” He nods again and bangs the gavel on the table.

Everyone from the table gets up and starts on their own situation. Harry walks with Niall out towards their bikes, “So did you get some pussy or some shit?” He asks as he lights up a cigarette.

Ana comes out before Niall could answer, “Be safe out there, baby.” She murmurs and leans in to give him a gentle kiss. “I love you.” She smiles and starts towards her Escalade.

“Love you, sweetheart.” Harry waves and glances back at Niall. “So, pussy or no?”

“No. But as you so kindly put it, I did ‘grow a pair’ and went to go talk to Y/N.” He rolls his eyes.

“Did she suck your—“

“No, we shared a fag and a chat then I came to our damn meeting.” Niall interrupts, buckling his helmet onto his head.

“So she’s officially off the market for all to fuck.” Harry stares at Niall, buckling his own helmet.

“She has been for awhile.” Niall shrugs and starts his bike.

“Just make it official all ready. Nobody is saying marry her. But start down that path if you want that with her.” Harry starts his and rumbles away before Niall can respond.

Niall sighs as he thinks about what Harry was saying. Maybe he should. It’s been a couple of months since he made that ban for anyone to sleep with her. Since they respected that you should make a move on it… Before someone just didn’t care and went for it.

He keeps close to Harry, watching the random curls that were coming out from underneath his helmet dance in the wind. He knew that his wife loved those stupid curls—but so did Niall. That is his best friend, Harry’s curls were apart of who he was.

They are brothers by club and by bond, this is what they did best.

##  **_6 Months Later_ **

Niall didn’t make it that next night. But he was there the night after. And the night after that… And the one after that. Soon, the nights turned into mornings and shortly after that, it turned into nights all the way until the next evening.

The courting started soon after spending most of your guys’ time together. Most of those nights were spent between the sheets, legs tangled. You will never forget what he told you, when you both were being particularly loud, “ _I am going to fuck you until your knees are shaking and the neighbours know my name_.”

Three months into it, you were now seen as his ‘Old Lady’. Now, there was an expectation for you to dress a bit more “modestly” (as modest as one could be as a biker’s girlfriend). For that, Niall was thankful. He liked being the one to look at you for what you had for him, in private.

The situation between the Russians and Laks was only worsening. Harry was severely stressed out, which was reflected not only on the rest of the club, but the spouses and families as well.

Harry had thought he had fixed the situation between the different clubs rather well, but that was not the case. It quieted down for a couple of months, but as time went on, it started to blow back in all of their faces.

* * *

 

You watch Niall and Harry ride off, flanked by the rest of the club, only the prospects staying behind to protect the girls that were staying back.

You glance at Harry’s wife, Ana. “So… What do you think this means? They’ve been going on a lot of club rides to deal with the bull shit between—“

“That’s not our job to worry about that. Our jobs are to worry about making sure their balls are empty, stomach are full, and they feel like they are the best god damn club member that’s here.” Ana says, reaching for her keys off the desk.

Even though she was blasé about it, you see through the front she put up. There is worry etched in her eyes.  

“Can I go back to yours? I don’t like waiting alone at the flat.” You ask softly.

She nods, “Let’s go.” With a smile, she gets into her Cadillac.  You get in with her and both of you enjoy the soft music coming from the speakers. After a bit, Ana clears her throat, “So, you and Niall? How’s that going?”

You can’t help the grin on your lips, “It’s going really well. I am extremely lucky to have him.”

“Do you see yourself being a proper Old Lady?” She asks as she changes lanes and looks at you.

You shrug, “Well, I don’t know. That’s up to him—“

“No, Y/N, it’s not up to him. That’s up to you. You need to make sure he knows that loosing you will be the worst thing ever in his life.” She says confidently and nods at you, “Make him—“

Two bright lights coming from the front distract both of you from the conversation. The metal screeches as it gets crushed, the glass popping, tires squealing… Your face starts to sting and burn from the powder from the deployed airbags. Your head snaps back and hits against the window. Ana lets out a scream that is quickly stopped.

The doors are ripped open and you feel yourself being manhandled out of the car.

The prospect that was escorting the two of you to the house opened fire on the people who were going to take you both.

He only managed to hurt the one dragging Ana.

You’re shoved into the back of a van and promptly gagged and tied up. Tears were stinging your eyes as your consciousness slowly fades.

* * *

 

Harry speeds up to the front office, putting the bike on the kickstand and running inside. Ana is lying on the couch, an icepack on her head, bandaged up from one of the prospects. “Baby, baby, are you okay?” He gasps out.

Niall is on his heels, looking around. “Where is she?” Niall asks, breathlessly.

Nobody answers. Harry and Ana were in their own world. His tattooed and heavily ringed hands were cupping her cheeks, murmuring softly to her.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?” Niall roars and shoves a prospect into the wall.

He stammers, his eyes going round. Louis comes up and pulls Niall off, “Oi, oi, mate. Relax. Please.”

“They took her.” The prospect stutters out, afraid to look at Niall.

“You let them take her?!” He snarls and starts after the prospect, Louis stops hims again.

“I tried to save her, but I got the one who was taking Ana. I was trying to get her too. But there was only one of me to provide them detail to get them home and to guard the house!” He explains, nervous that he has fucked up to the point of no return.

“Who took them?” Niall growls out, trying your phone over and over.

“I think it was the Russians. It looked like their type of car. And when I shot the one, he cursed in assumingly, Russian.” He avoids Niall’s eyes at all costs.

“We are getting her back.” Niall speaks with finality in his tone, slamming the door to the office and heading to the table for a club meeting to get you back.

You were his and they took you. Over his dead body was he going to leave you there. You were his Old Lady.

Nobody takes what is Niall Horan’s.

* * *

 

You start to come around, your head is pounding, and various parts of your body felt like they were going to fall off. You feel like shit. You sit up, your mouth dry from the sock that is shoved into your mouth. Your wrists were rubbed raw from the rope that kept them bound together.

You are shivering in the shorts and tank top that you had worn for the day. Your face feels swollen and you let out a soft whimper.

The two men, who were arguing in Russian, stop immediately. The short, fat one comes over to you. He grips you under your arms and forces to stand. His body odor assaults your nose and you try to hold your breath.

“You’re the VP’s ‘Old Lady’, yes?” His breath is hot in your face.

Straining your head back, “No.” You muffle out.

He rips the sock out of your mouth along with the duct tape, “What?” He asks again.

“I said, ‘no’.” You glare at him.

“We saw you.” The other man that is there snaps out at you. “You have been in and out of his house.” He saunters over, giving you a once over. “If you’re not his lady, you’re just a typical biker whore.”

You set your jaw, ignoring the blood in your mouth. You were not just a whore now. You were Niall’s. But nothing is set in stone.

“Kill her.” He says simply, gently caressing your face, smiling. “Make it messy. We are sending a message.”

The fat man looks up at him. “Viktor, Can’t I fuck her—“

“No, Abraham. We didn’t take her to fuck.” Viktor interrupts, sounding bored.

“But you said she was jus a whore.” Abraham almost whines.

“I said—“

“I am Niall’s Old Lady.” You say softly, frightened. But doing your best to not show it.

“There it is.” Viktor gives you a shit-eating grin. “You’re not a very good liar.” He tsks and shakes his head. “Such a shame. You’re going to bring Niall right to us.” He sighs, pretending to be sad.

Abraham laughs and you just stay quiet, mentally willing Niall to not come after you. Anything they had for you, you could handle it. But the world wouldn’t be able to survive without Niall.  

“Get naked.” Is all Viktor says.

* * *

 

Niall leads the pack of bikers, his bike roaring through the quiet towns as he heads down towards the docks four towns away. The others could feel his anger as he rode, nothing the others would say could sway him.

He is saving you, whether it meant he’d come out of it dead or alive.

Everyone pulls up to a stop a block away from their headquarters. If the Russian’s wanted their attention, they had it. They made sure that their guns were loaded and there were extra bullets on hand.

Harry took stance at the front, his hand on Niall’s shoulder, “All right, brother. You need to be prepared for whatever we find. You need to go about this with a level head.” He says seriously and nods. “I have your back, I am right behind you. This entire way.” Harry hugs him and Niall gives him a brief squeeze.

Niall and Harry make their way down to the warehouse. Louis and Liam followed them close behind, guns drawn. The rest of the members were taking their spots around the warehouse, poised and ready to kill who they have to.

Harry shoots the door knob where the lock clicked and kicks in the door open. Niall is the first to go in, his eyes looking for you.

Abraham and Viktor were sitting there at the table, sipping on their glasses of vodka. “We’ve been expecting—“

Viktor couldn’t finish his sentence; Niall’s hand was tight around his throat, Viktor’s face pressed to the concrete. Harry had a gun pushed into Abraham’s mouth.

“Where. Is. She.” Niall growls out, snarling in his face.

Abraham starts to laugh, giggling against the barrel of the glock.

“Fucking tell me.” Niall snarls, scraping his face along the concrete.

“Look in my back pocket.” Viktor says through his bloodied mouth. Niall fishes his hand in his pocket, pulling out panties. “Familiar?” He sneers.

Niall picks up him up by his shoulders and slams him back down into the concrete. He stands up and calls out your name loudly.

* * *

 

They had made you strip down and stand in a shipping container. If you were cold before, you were absolutely freezing now. You bang on the sides of the container and scream out for Niall.

You fall silent when gunfire starts, your heart stopping for a beat. You were afraid for Niall, you didn’t know why, but you knew it was him out there.

It felt like hours before the gunfire ceased and you went to pounding on the side of the container. Your fists were bruised and being naked didn’t help with your comfort.

There was a gunshot outside of the container. The door creaked open and Niall poked his head in, “Y/N?” He asks cautiously, biting on his lip.

“Niall!” You gasp out and cover yourself. “I need a jacket. Please.” You whimper and nod.

“Here. And here are your shorts.” He nods, coming into the container with you, handing you the jacket and shorts.

You throw your arms around his neck, hugging him close. You didn’t care that you were naked. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. “Thank you.” You whisper. Niall wraps his arms around your waist and keeps you tight against him.

“Get dressed so I can take ya home.” He murmurs and put the jacket around your shoulders.

* * *

 

Niall doesn’t let you walk to the house, he couldn’t bear to be too far from you. He carries you inside and locks the door. “I would like you to move in. I’ll have them bring everything of yours to mine.”

You stay quiet, your arms tight around his neck. “I’m not moving in with you unless we are at engaged.” You say softly, your face burying in his neck.

“Well consider that my engagement. I can’t have you not be safe. Y/N… I was ready to fucking tear apart all of Ireland for you. I need you close to me.” He lays you in the bed and take one of his club rings off and pushes it onto your left ring finger. “I want you to be mine forever. Be my Old Lady, please.”  Niall murmurs, kneeling next to the bed and kissing on your fingers gently.

With a faint smile, you nod. “Of course I will.”

“I almost lost you. I-I can’t loose you like that again. I love you so much.” He says softly, his hands cupping your cheeks gently. “I love you.” He whispers and leans in to give you a kiss.

His scruff lightly scratches against your chin and you pull him to get into the bed with you. He lays against you gently, biting at your bottom lip, hands cautiously going up your shirt.

Niall’s ands were the best thing you’ve ever felt. You needed to forget those beady, Russian eyes on your body. His hands squeezed your tits gently, causing you to whimper. He pinches gently at your nipples.

You move your kisses to trail along the soft skin of his neck. “Y/N…” Niall groans out in your ear, biting gently on your earlobe. You respond with a bite on his neck and Niall gasps.

He sits up and unzips the jacket he had you put on after he saved you. He covered your chest in kisses, nipping and biting on occasion. Niall pulls down your shorts slowly and panties, “Let’s get into the tub?”

“No.” You whisper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you. Right now.” You murmur and nod.

“Now?” Niall asks, carefully shimmying out of his jeans, pushing down his boxer briefs quickly.

“Mhm.” You murmur and reach down between the two of you, gripping his cock in your hand. You move it slowly, your eyes on his. “I love you.” You nod, biting on your lip.

“I love you, baby.” Niall’s fingers massage against your clit lightly. “I’m need you in my life.” He murmurs and kisses you lightly. Your move his dick to be lined up with you, your eyes still open and on his.

He slowly pushes into you, his fingers not stopping. The sounds of content sighs are mixed together. You felt full and whole, Niall felt like he would explode with happiness and adoration.

The two of you stayed like that, not moving, just kissing and light touches. “I love you.” Niall says softly, starting to move his hips.

Digging your heels into your calves, you arch slightly, closing your eyes, “I love you, so much.” You whimper, digging your fingers into shoulders. His movements quicken slightly, his lips find yours, keeping it achingly sweet.

This was the first time you two had made love. And it was totally different than what you had ever felt before.

Niall felt like he was glowing, you were making him feel alive. Feel like a man. Your soft noises in his ear told him you were going to cum. He rubs at your clit a bit more, going to kiss at your sweet spot behind your ear lightly.

As you start to cum and together around him, Niall lets himself do the same, releasing into you.

Niall stays in you, collapsing on top of you, rolling to the side, keeping you with him. “Fuck.” He whimpers and presses a chaste kiss to your temple.

“Same.” You smile and look up at him. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me either, baby. Me either.” He whispers, kissing your lips this time.

##  **_18 Months Later_ **

“James! Get back here!” You chase after the brown haired toddler, running away from you—stark ass naked.

The toddler giggles and screams as he runs through the house. Niall walks through the door, leaving his Adidas at the door (as were the rules of the house now). He plucks up the naked baby and blows raspberries on his stomach.

You come into the living room and smile at your two boys. “Hey baby, welcome home.” You smile and hold the footie jammies and diaper in hand. You come over and give Niall a long kiss. “Dinner will be ready after you put this little booger down.” You smile and give him the jammies and diaper, heading towards the kitchen.

The night that Niall saved you was most likely the night you got pregnant. You and Niall planned on having the wedding the next year, but after you found out you were pregnant, you got married within by the sixth month of your engagement.

It didn’t feel rushed. It was a small ceremony, just the bike club and their spouses and kids. Niall wore his leather cut and dark skinny jeans. You wore a proper wedding dress. Niall gave you proper diamond rings and you gave him his wedding band.

The reception was wild and exactly what you would expect from marrying a club member. There was a massive send off when the two of you got onto Niall’s Harley and went to the airport.

The three weeks the two of you spent in Nice, France was amazing. To get away from everything and to just have time for the two of you before the baby was born… Niall James Junior was born early in the morning and the entire club was waiting in the waiting room. James was dressed in onesie with the club emblem on it, with a small motorcycle embroidered on it.  

There was always the worry and scared feelings in regards to being married to a club member, but you wouldn’t trade out Niall for anyone else in the world. He took care of you and James.

Coming from somewhere with no family and no support and ending up being a mother and apart of a family community… Nothing could be better than tat.

All thanks to the brunette Irishman that stole your heart with his deep blue eyes. He’s your true outlaw. He is true to you and true to his club.

That’s all that mattered.


	51. Depression is an Art

 

It has been six hours since Niall kissed your forehead, sixteen hours since Niall kissed your lips, and it had been 75 days since Niall has had sex with you.

It has been 36 hours since you last ate, eighteen days since you last washed your hair, nine days since you’ve last showered, and 25 days since you’ve left the house.

Depression is truly an art. You become something you don’t recognize, fall prey to the false thoughts in your head. It is so much more than “feeling sad”. In your darkest times, you truly believed that there was no place here for you on earth. Nobody wants a moldy heart, tearful eyes, or a hopeless spirit… You lock yourself in the room you shared with Niall, blinds closed and curtains drawn, living in the darkness you created and craved. Your body fit in the small spot you’ve made in the mattress perfectly from the hours and days you spent laying in the same spot. Most days, you couldn’t get out of bed for the day, just lying there, staring into the darkness. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you’d bury your face into the pillows and scream—make sure you could still make noise. But you were numb, words from Niall would string together in phrases that didn’t make sense. Normally, when you looked at that Irish man who had nothing but love in his eyes for you, your heart would swell two times the size and felt like it would burst. But for the last 90 days, it’s been empty.

You weren’t sure what triggered this, triggered you, but you didn’t really care at this point. You knew it was only a matter of time before Niall left you because he wouldn’t be able to handle you, your issues, and the lack of sex. You didn’t deserve him anyways. He deserved someone that was happy and bubbly and wasn’t the actual scum of the Earth.

 

 

Niall drives home in silence from the gym, not even turning on the radio. His worry for you just grew daily and he is constantly worried to come home because of what he might find. The last three months were the hardest he’s been through while in a relationship. In the year you two had been together, Niall has never seen anything like this. When he comes home, you’re either crying, asleep, or blankly staring ahead. You barely ate what he made you, only got up to pee. He kept a notebook on the timing of everything. He knew it’s been awhile since you’ve showered or washed your hair. Not even him encouraging you to get up and take a bath did anything. You were never in the mood for anything, especially sex. Two and a half months had gone by and he’s solely been using his hand and the help of the Internet. Your guys’ relationship was much more than physical, but it was also hard because you barely even wanted to give him a kiss.

He parks in the driveway and stares up at the house. He knew where you’d be. He didn’t know how to fix this issue or help you. You didn’t talk about it at all with him and it both saddened and worried him. Niall had tried, he took the first week off work when you were bedridden, but he couldn’t keep taking work off. Someone had to pay the bills, but he hated leaving you.

With a breath, he gets out of the car and walks in. It was just as he suspected, no sign of life downstairs whatsoever. “Baby, I’m home!” Niall calls out, shutting the door behind him. He tosses his keys onto the counter and listens intently for a response—not that he thinks he’ll get one.

You hear the door shut, the keys on the counter, and Niall’s voice. You take a short breath and just open your eyes, which was exhausting enough. You hear his voice call out again and you just blink slowly at the wall.

Niall comes in and sees your lump underneath all the covers. He fights his sigh and he comes to your side of the bed and crouches, “Hey baby,” He murmurs and smiles. He brushes your cheek with his hand gently. “How are you feeling today?” Niall looked for the light in your eyes, but there was nothing there. Whatever was going on had taken his girl and took you for it’s own.

“Fine.” You barely managed to get out, wanting to shy away from his touch. Niall was an angel on this earth, who cared so much more about others than himself. His blue eyes were filled with worry.

“Have you gotten out of bed today?” He asks softly, letting his fingers push through your hair. You wanted to cringe away. It had almost been three weeks since you washed your hair. You were a disgusting creature that didn’t deserve the way he was treating you. “Besides using the restroom?” He clarifies in the same soft tone.

You blink at him, taking a deep breath. “No.” You murmur and your eyes fill with tears.

Niall smiles sadly, “It’s okay darling, no tears.” He murmurs and kisses your forehead. “How about we take a shower together?”

The very act of moving seemed impossible, much less getting naked and actually washing yourself, “No, thank you.” You whisper and close your eyes.

A long sigh comes from him and guilt hits you in waves. He’d leave you soon enough. You knew it better than you knew anything else.

Niall gets up and he goes to the bathroom anyways, he turns on the tub and adds bubbles to the running water. He makes sure its not too hot before going downstairs to get a cup in order to rinse you. He comes back up. “You need to bathe, Y/N, I’ll help you.” He says softly and helps you sit up before he scoops you up and carries you into the bathroom.

Staying standing was an exhausting job in and of itself. You were thankful that Niall was undressing you. But at the same time, horrified. You hadn’t bathed in ages. You keep your eyes trained downwards. Feeling more naked, mentally, than ever. He scoops you up again and slowly lowers you into the tub gently. “Your shirt.” You murmur, worrying about the long sleeves he was in.

“It’s not a big deal love.” He says softly, getting the cup and wetting your hair. He reaches over and squeezes a huge glob of shampoo in his hand before he works it through your hair and scrubs. It feels nice, you could admit that. But it was too much to do on your own. Niall carefully rinses your hair again, smiling a bit.

You needed a good bath, Niall knew that much. But he also hoped that you would feel more like yourself if he did this. He puts the conditioner on your ends, using the shower comb to take out any knots (which you had a lot), and sings quietly under his breath. “May I help you shave?” He asks, lathering up the loofa.

All you do is nod, staring at the bath fixtures. You were fighting every piece of you that wanted to cry. And you were doing somewhat well about it too. He washes every piece of your body, being as gentle as possible. You could see the want in Niall’s eyes as he rubbed the loofa over your body.

The last time Niall washed you, you two spent an entire hour between making love and fucking in the shower. He loved touching over your silky body. He loved every moment with you. But now, washing you down… He felt the raw desire to make you feel good in a different way, relieve himself with you instead of by himself. His hands lingered over your tits as he washed, getting them a bit more ‘clean’ than he needed to. Nipple play was your favourite and it didn’t even arouse you. Even when he rubbed between your legs to wash, he paid particular attention there as well—in hopes that you would let out a pleased noise, pick up where you two left off a long time. When nothing comes from you, he sighs and kisses your damp forehead before putting the loofa aside and gently washing your face with your face wash and using a wet cloth to wipe it off.

Pushing off his frustration (both emotional and sexual), he finds your sugar scrub and covers your legs and arms in it before scrubbing it off and rinsing you. You’d be soft and smell of vanilla sugar.

“Okay, petal, hold still please.” He gets the conditioner and puts some under one of your arms and carefully shaves you before doing the other and following through with your legs. Not even a knick on you. He rinses your hair free of conditioner before helping you out and standing you on that mat.

He towels you off, slowly and thoroughly, not leaving a drop on you. He pays close attention to your sensitive spots—but still, nothing. “I’m going to get you fresh leggings and shirt.” He says softly before disappearing.

You take that moment to cautiously walk over to the mirror. You study your eyes in the mirror. There was nothing there. People say that eyes are the windows to the soul, then your soul must be dead.

Niall pauses, watching you carefully. This was the most movement he’s seen out of you, the most alive you’ve been in ages. He comes in only when he sees the tears slipping down your cheeks. He comes behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tightly to him. “I love you.” He murmurs.

 _You shouldn’t._ You think but refuse to say out loud. You let him wipe your tears and turn you around. He helps you put on your panties and leggings before pulling on the shirt over your head.

“How about we dry your hair too? I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He whispers and helps you sit on the toilet. He pulls out the blow dryer and gets the comb and gently brushes through your hair. Niall turns on the dryer and slowly works the brush through your hair with the dryer on your hair.

It takes him a long while to finish, but he does so. He combs through your hair once more before opening a tutorial on how to braid. He braids your hair back carefully and ties it off. “There you are. How about we go down and have a snack and I’ll change the sheets?” Niall keeps his tone gentle and takes your hand.

You let him lead you downstairs. You didn’t really want to but you didn’t want to upset him. And you knew those sheets needed to be changed.

He leads you to the couch and you immediately lay down, exhausted. Niall goes to the kitchen and makes you a sandwich. He cuts it diagonally and adds fruits to the plate. He helps you sit up and sits next to you. “Let’s eat up, yeah?” He asks with a smile.

Your stomach was empty, but full with misery. You didn’t want to hurt him though. You eat slowly, counting each chew you go through.

He leaves you to eat and bounds up the stairs to change the sheets.

You finish your sandwich and some of the fruit before you lay back down. The sun was much too bright, the walls were too white, and none of this was making you feel better. If anything, it was doing quite the opposite. Guilt was rolling through your stomach. You saw the way he looked at you. The way he craved you… But you couldn’t even give him a simple hand job. You needed to. You needed to show him that you loved and appreciated him. Because even in the deep pits of hatred and despair—you loved Niall with all your heart, the fact that he bathed you, shaved you, dried your hair… You needed to repay.

Niall comes down and tosses the wash in the washer before coming to you, lifting your up a bit and laying your head on his lap. “Thank you,” You whisper out and look up at him.

He smiles and runs his fingers through your hair gently, “Any time baby girl.” He whispers and leans down to kiss your forehead.

You shift so it lands on your lips, your hands cupping his cheeks. “I love you.” You whisper. “I appreciate you.” You nod, forcing yourself to sit up, your eyes on his.

He watches you carefully, smiling. “I appreciate—“ You cut him off with a kiss, your hands cupping his cheeks.

He sighs against your lips and sits still with your lips against his. You push your tongue into his mouth, his hand slowly trailing down his chest, going over his basketball shorts. “Y/N… No you don’t—“

You just kiss him again. You didn’t need to hear his protests. Your hand rubs over his semi until it was completely hard. To Niall, it was embarrassingly quick with just some hand fondling. He would lose it having you do it versus him and he was hoping that you wouldn’t be annoyed at how fast he cums.

Pushing your hand down his shorts, you grip his hard on and move your hand. You could pass out in his lap right now, this was ridiculous. But he earned this. You had to do this for him.

With all the energy and force you could muster, you sit up a bit and shift to straddle him, your hand still working his cock.

“I love you.” He moans against your shoulder gently.

You don’t say anything in return. You lean back and pull off your shirt.

“Y/N-“ Niall starts but stops as you push his head down against your tits before wiggling out of the leggings as well as you can. You get them to your mid thigh and grip his dick. Niall’s eyes widen and watch you carefully. “You don’t have to do this.” He says seriously.

“I want to.” You did. He earned this. You had to thank him as well as you can. And you didn’t want him to leave you. It’s been 75 days since you two last had sex, you knew he needed this and wanted it. You sit up a bit and sink down onto him, a soft sigh leaving you. It wasn’t one of pleasure, just… A sigh.

He moans loudly. “Oh my god,” He pants, “Baby, I’ve missed you,” Niall grips your hips and helps you move up and down, his own hips rutting up.

But it doesn’t do much for you. You knew that him hearing you made him feel better. “Oh Ni,” You try to moan out as convincingly as you can. It seems to work because he lets out another groan. He moves your hips more quickly up and down, bringing his own hips up to meet your hips.

Normally, you would cum so hard you’d see stars, but you barely felt the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. But nothing was in your stomach. Nothing was coming from you.

Niall moans louder and his hips stutter as he starts to cum, whimpering against your chest, “Oh fuck, baby.” He gasps, extremely embarrassed that he came as quickly as he did. But… two and a half months did that to a man.

With a kiss to his forehead, you pull off of him and go to the bathroom to clean yourself out and pull your leggings back up and head upstairs, collapsing in the freshly made bed. You close your eyes and sigh.

Niall frowns, you didn’t even cum! You didn’t even do post orgasm cuddles… Nothing! He gets up and pulls on his boxers, heading upstairs quickly. “Y/N? You didn’t finish!” He says and comes to kneel next to the bed, rubbing your back gently. Nor did you make noise… You didn’t do anything. Did you feel good? At all? Why would you fuck him if you didn’t want satisfaction from it either?

“It’s okay.” You say quietly. “Don’t worry.” You murmur and stare ahead, staring at nothing, the blankness behind him.

The spark Niall thought was there wasn’t. Fuck. He leans down and kisses your shoulder. “Baby…” He sighs and rubs your back gently. “I love you. I appreciate you. I want you to feel better my love.” He whispers. “I want us to be back where we started. I am doing my best, you know? I don’t fully understand this. But I fully love you and adore you and appreciate you.” He says and traces your spine through your shirt.

You take a small breath, fighting the tears. “Niall, this is… unfortunately who I am.” You mumble.

“And I love you for you—the good, the bad, and the ugly... Working through a mental illness _together_ is what people do in relationships.” Niall says and gets on the bed and lays next to you, his eyes searching yours.

You meet his eyes finally, letting his eyes search yours. You knew they were empty as fuck but Niall wasn’t seeing the emptiness. He was seeing his girl who was lost and seeing the love of his life battling against invisible demons. That broke his heart. You deserved more than what you were going through. “How about I call a doctor and get us in to see a therapist, my love?” He asks quietly and you just blink.

“Y-You don’t think I’m crazy?” You ask finally breaking the silence that filled after his question.

“No. Absolutely not.” He says sincerely, rubbing your cheek gently.

“This has been going on for a long while dear. We need you to get better. Lying in bed doesn’t help. Me doing my best isn’t helping—“

“It is. The fact you still love me.” You murmur and keep your eyes on his icy blues.

Niall leans in and gives you a gentle, slow kiss. “Nothing will ever change that.” He smiles faintly. “Let me take care of you a step farther. Let’s set you up to talk to someone about this that’s more than me.” He rests his hand on your side.

You chew the inside of your cheek. Sex wasn’t what Niall needed to feel appreciated or loved. He wanted you to be healthy. In all ways. “Okay.” You say softly. “ _But_ don’t expect it to work necessarily. Okay?” You ask, wanting that to be clear for him.

“The fact you’re willing to try… Baby, that means the fucking world to me!” Niall grins hugely—it could have been blinding.

Your lips slip into a faint smile. “I love you.” You murmur softly, sighing. This all didn’t change you right now though. You were still exhausted, you knew you wouldn’t be getting out of the bed anytime soon, and you knew you suddenly weren’t going to be “not depressed”. But… the prospect of making Niall the teeniest bit happy made you feel a something in your stomach.

The faint flutter of butterflies.

* * *

 

30 days, 8 appointments, and one pill a day for the last 14 days since the day you agreed to go to therapy again and try to beat this hard moment in life. And through the 105 days of feeling like you were drowning in the art of depression—Niall was there every single day, your biggest encourager.

 

* * *

 

One the110th day, you wake up before Niall. But you don’t feel the need to force yourself back to sleep. You roll on your back and take a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. That first breath was the best you’ve ever breathed… It was like you were stuck under the water, your lungs aching for the breath, the black spots dancing across your vision as your body begged for the gulp of sweet air.

The breath on your 110th day was the day you could breathe again.

You sit up and look around. Sleep and exhaustion was still resting in your bones. But you could do this. You slowly change out of the outfit you’ve been wearing for five days. Niall was sure to help you bathe at least twice a week (it was still hard to do the simplest things). Not today. You change and pad down the stairs, opening the blinds and let the morning light flood in.

Another deep breath.

You start on breakfast for you and Niall, exercising muscles you haven’t felt in ages. You put the kettle on and find your pills in the cupboard. Niall asked you keep them downstairs so you’d have to walk down and up.

The 19th pill.

Niall wakes up to the empty bed and frowns. “Baby?” He asks and looks towards the bathroom. You haven’t been awake before him, ever really. So he was kind of worried. “Y/N?” He calls out. He sits up and looks around and sees the leggings and t-shirt from the last time he helped you bathe and change.

He takes a breath and a faint smile touches his lips as he smells the scent of a traditional Irish breakfast cooking. The kettle whistles and he gets up, heading down the stairs. “Morning my princess.” He murmurs and leans against the kitchen bar and watches you, in fresh clothes, cooking. Fucking cooking! “How are you feeling?” You meet his eyes and his heart surges. The fucking spark was there.

You two agreed to be bluntly honest with each other—mainly because you were always ‘fine’, “I am doing… Better? I just… I feel like I can breathe? I wanted to cook. And maybe shower. But I might need a nap. But I want to do this. Today.” You speak slowly and nod.

“Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.” He reminds you. “Today is a day.” Niall smiles. He couldn’t be any more amazed. A lot of the time was hour by hour or minute by minute. Today was the first day that was a day by day situation. And the fucking spark was there.

“Day by day.” You sigh and smile faintly, handing him his mug.

* * *

 

A/N; _Hey my petals! I just want to say that mental illnesses are not things that should be romanticized or taken lightly (I did by best to not do that in this). It’s something so many battle with and it’s very serious. I deal with depression and anxiety daily and it’s hard. But do not be afraid to reach out for help, it’s one of the hardest and bravest decisions you’ll ever make. Trust me. I believe in all of you. Be kind always, you never know what someone is going through._ [**Help Lines** **Here**](http://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline)


	52. Dicking Down to Wifing Up

“Horan! Hurry the fuck up!” Harry yells through the door. “People are starting to show up!”

Niall looks in the mirror and adjusts his quiff a bit, “Coming!”  He just had the blonde redone and was more than ready for their house party.

Harry snorts from the other side, “Sure thing. Just don’t leave a mess.” He jokes and Niall hears him go down the hall.

He rolls his eyes and leaves the room. You said you were going to be coming to the party and he was looking forward to that. He had been trying to convince you for the entire semester to attend a variety of the parties that his frat put on.

Niall is perched on top of Liam’s shoulders, they are both are shot gunning beers, seeing who can be done first.

The Irishmen beat Liam, effortlessly. There was no contest. Niall is cheering from his friend’s shoulders as he sees you from across the room, coming through the front door.

A smirk graces his features as he climbs off his shoulders. You looked just as beautiful as when he met you at the beginning of the semester.

But of course, he would never say that.

* * *

_Niall was late to class (naturally) and hurried through the door._

_“Devine, Josh?” The professor called out and Niall sighed, literally moments to spare._

_Now to find a seat in an almost full class. His eyes scanned the rows of students, ignoring the eyes watching him._

_There, in the middle row, in the middle section was a single chair between a guy from a different frat and one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen. You had a great set of tits too._

_He pushed and squeezed his way through a lot of grumbly students, every one of them giving him a dirty look. He muttered ‘sorry’ until he got to you, he “accidentally” plopped down on your desk before sliding over to the empty seat._

_You rolled your eyes and picked up your pencil, Niall watched the slight bounce of your tits carefully. He bit on his lip and shifted his eyes to the front._

_You leaned back and call out here when the professor called your name. Niall repeated your name in his head a couple times before glancing at you—not subtle at all, taking in you features._

_You shift in your seat, side glancing at him. Obviously, you knew who this fake blonde was. Niall Horan, president of Sigma Chi, second largest fraternity on campus. But you mostly knew him for his persona, he would fuck anything that walked. You didn’t want anything to do with him and you didn’t want him between your legs. “Can I help you?” You asked quietly, not taking your eyes off the prof._

_“I might need a class partner in this.” He murmured, shifting in his seat to face you a bit more. “What do you think? Will you be my partner in this?” Niall chewed a bit on his lip as he watched you._

_You sighed and shifted your gaze to meet his. You understood as to why girls (hell, even guys) swooned for this guy. Bright blue eyes, a sweet smile, and he just looked soft. But that smirk and the look in those beautiful eyes said he was anything_ but _soft and caring. They looked hungry. “I don’t think—“_

_“Y/N, Y/N, love, c’mon. Who else would I ask?” He batted his lashes as he spoke. “Please?” He pouted a bit._

_His pink lips were so nice, they look so soft and kissable. Fucking hell. “Fine, Neil, is it?”_

_Niall frowned and every trace of trying to entice you was out the fucking door._

_“Niall. My name is Niall Horan.” He huffed a bit, taking your phone and putting his number in and sending himself a text._

_You had to fight the smirk. Popping that cocky balloon made you feel a bit better about it. You type his name in your phone as Neil and lock it. “Great.” You shifted to look at the professor again._

* * *

Niall makes his way over to you at the keg. “Hey, Y/N.” He smiles, leaning against the wall. Niall had a faint buzz going and he was thoroughly enjoying it.

You look up from your beer, “Neil.” You say with a knowing smirk. “Nice party.” You nod a bit as he chuckles.

“Thanks. I am glad you made it.” He looks you up and down, not caring to be sneaky about it. “You look fuckin’ hot.” Niall pours himself a beer after you finish.

A faint flush works from your chest, touching your cheeks. “Mm. Not looking too bad yourself, Horan.” You murmur and take a sip of your drink, your eyes watching him carefully.

His chest puffs in pride and his shoulders broaden a bit. “Thanks, love.” He smiles a bit at you.

You raise your brows with a smirk. You two had become close from all your ‘studying’. Don’t get it wrong, there was studying. But it went from using treats to encourage one another to using _treats_ to encourage one another.

* * *

_You tolerated the man-slut, fuck boy more often than not. He was constantly asking you out, inviting you to his frat’s parties, and then he got desperate enough to just ask for hook ups. But you agreed to study sessions only—ignoring the fact that he called it study dates. Because you knew he was doing it to piss you off._

_Niall pouted at the gummy bear, it was a red one. “I don’t knowwwww, Y/N.” He whined loudly. “Gummy bears aren’t even enough encouragement anymore.” He huffed and watched you carefully. He loved his time with you. Mainly because of your tits, but once you had caught on, you wore sweatshirts that kept it hidden. Much to his disappointment._

_“Do you want to switch to a chocolate?” You asked, leaning back against the wall, stretching your legs out in front of you._

_The two of you went together in a stairwell in your dorm, the stairwell that lead to the roof which had no foot traffic whatsoever. He would bring you tea and you would supply the gummy bears._

_He searched your eyes for a moment, biting on his lip. “I don’t think sweets will do it.”_

_“I could get beers instead? Sip if we get it right—“_

_“No. I was thinking something a bit more… Rewarding. For both of us.” He spoke carefully. It had taken him this long to get you to actually joke with him and you had finally stopped wearing sweatshirts (not that high collared, long sleeves did much for his viewing pleasure)._

_You arched a single brow, “I am not going to touch your dick. Hate to break it to you, Horan, but I don’t know how much of a ‘reward’ your dick would actually be.”_

_Niall rolled his eyes, “No, Y/N. You are not_ allowed _to touch my dick. But. What if we do kisses?” He offered hopefully._

_You blink at him, “Just answer the damn question. Don’t ask me to kiss you again.” You huffed at him._

_Going back to pouting, he struggled through the answer._

_Somewhere through his pouts (staring at those perfect soft lips) and his effort in trying to get the right answer after saying ‘No’ to kisses, you found yourself wanting to kiss him. Wanting to taste him. You nodded as he had gotten the question right and bring the gummy bear to his lips. He opened his mouth and you feed him the bear before leaning back, a light flush worked its way up your cheeks._

_You knew you were attracted to Niall, he was funny, thoughtful in small ways, but fucking hell. He was just another frat boy. You couldn’t be attracted to someone who went through girls like tissues for masturbating._

_But here you were, thinking about those lips on yours. All it is is lust, you told yourself._

_Niall watched you look at his lips, watched you subconsciously lick your lips. He glanced down and read off the next question and could tell you weren’t paying attention. His hand rested on your knee, “Y/N, do I need to repeat the question?” He asked quietly, not wanting to jump the gun with any of this._

_“Yes please.” You nodded, flushing. You looked away and listened to the question. You answered it flawlessly and Niall nodded, going to feed you the gummy but at the last second, he leans in and gives you a gentle kiss._

_“Correct.” He said as he pulled away from you, his eyes hesitant on yours._

_Your cheeks were red and you just nod. “Great. Your turn.” You stuttered and read through the_ _next_ _question, your hands slightly shaky._

_He answered it and looked at you. You lean in and give him a kiss but you can’t make yourself pull away._

_Niall pulled you closer and you shifted so you were straddling him. His hands gripped your hips, keeping you in place. Your lips were fervent against his. His tongue gently pushes into your mouth and you let him. You let out a soft sigh, knotting your hands in his always unruly hair. You tug gently at it, his grip tightening on your hips._

_You only pulled away because you felt his hand go up the back of your shirt. “Know how to ruin a perfectly good reward there, Horan.” You tried to snap at him but were much too breathless._

_He chuckled and kissed your shoulder, “You’re welcome, love.” Niall smirked._

* * *

“This is really something,” You say, glancing around the house. It is starting to get into full swing. Girls grinding on guys, a few random couples kissing, body shots, beer pong—all of it.

Niall just focuses on your face, “It’s my castle, love. What else did you expect.” He pulls you into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of tequila. “Body shots.” He nods, biting his lip.

You flush and shrug. “You first Horan. Shirt off.” You nod and grab a couple of limes and the salt.

He happily takes it off and tosses it to the side. You lick along his collar bone gently and pour the salt where you licked. You hum and put the lime in his mouth and pour yourself a shot, humming softly. His eyes were focusing on you, following your movements.

You lean forward and lick the salt off, take the shot and take the lime out of his mouth—well you would have, but he dropped the lime at the last minute so you were kissing him.

Smiling softly, your hand cups his cheek, “Cheeky fucker.” You laugh and shake your head, tapping his chest.

“Let’s go study.” He winks, taking your hand and tugging you towards the stairs.

The frat house was packed at this point, the only way to not lose Niall was to hold his hand. You also knew you wouldn’t be doing any studying—much like before.

* * *

_You pulled away, trying to catch your breath._

_Niall smirked, “I take it, I was correct?” He asked and lightly rubbed his hand over your bum._

_With a roll of your eyes, you get off his lap and nod. “Yeah. You did.”_

_“You know, Y/N, the make outs are kinda getting boring. We should-”_

_“We aren’t going to fuck.” You stated dully. “It would take too long.”_

_Niall looked at you in surprise. “Why don’t we-”_

_“No. We are study buddies. Not fuck buddies.” You leaned against the wall, letting your legs drape over his lap._

_“Can I at least touch your arse?” He rubbed your leg gently. “I need some good arse encouragement.” Niall chuckled and winked at you._

_You got lost in thought for a moment. “Fine. You touch my ass and you take your shirt off.” You bargained._

_“Be honest with yourself, Y/N, you’ve always wanted to see me without my shirt on.” He sighed and started to laugh. His head fell back and you flushed._

_You loved making him laugh, but not at your expense. “No. It’s not fair if you touch my ass. You have to do something for me.”_

_“What?! You don’t want to touch me arse?!” He feigned hurt feelings and shook his head._

_You rolled your eyes again, “Unfortunately, Horan, it doesn’t give me the same satisfaction as you.”_

_“Oh, so you’ll get satisfaction with me taking my shirt off?” He smirked and winked._

_“Oh, for god’s sake Niall, don’t you have a sorority girl to bang?” You laughed and stood up, holding your hand out to him._

_“That’s tomorrow.” He kissed your cheek. “See you in a couple days.” He wiggled his fingers and walked away, exaggerating the swing of his hips. “Enjoy it while you can, Y/N.”_

_“Damn baby, want some fries with that shake?” You called to him as you leave, going back to your room._

_You were looking forward to your next study session, like you had been the last few._

_Just like Niall had, and it wasn’t necessarily just because of the make outs. He saw you as a good friend._

_A good friend he wanted to nail._

* * *

“All right.” You roll your eyes, ignoring the racing of your heart and the nervous butterflies in your stomach. You definitely weren’t a virgin, but you have been attracted to Niall for a while now.

Niall felt the same and you knew that much.

He leads you through the crowd of people, going up the stairs and slipping into the bathroom, pulling you with him.

As soon as the door is shut, he pushes you against it and lifts you up, his lips coming rough against yours. You wrap your legs tightly around his waist and you wrap your arms around his neck.

The need between the two of you is tangible. His kisses were like drinking a glass of water after being parched and stuck in the dessert.

You hear his fingers fumble with the lock and the triumphant hum come from him as he moves the two of you away from the door. He sets you on the counter and pulls off your shirt. He murmurs appreciatively. You picked your best black lace bra and underwear particularly for this moment. You did not, however, purposely plan for this to happen.

But you both needed to be honest with yourselves—this had been a long time coming.

* * *

_You and Niall had holed up in your dorm room, his shirt was off, his hands gripping tightly at your ass._

_You two had to agree to at least finish the study guide questions before you got rewards otherwise nothing would get done._

_He moved your hips slowly, having you grind on him, moans coming from his lips. You could easily feel his boner through his jeans and the thin fabric of your leggings. When your clit catches, you gasped against his lips. Niall focused on moving you until you’re moaning._

_Shifting quickly, he moved you so you’re underneath him, his hands pulling off your shirt, leaving you in a simple white lace bra._

_“Fuckin hell, baby girl.” He kissed along the outline of your bra cups, keeping your legs spread as he grinds himself against you._

_A soft whimper of his name comes from your lips and you dig your nails into his shoulders. He lets out a soft growl and bites gently at the soft skin, his eyes looking up at you._

_Niall’s eyes were dark with lust, his eyes searching yours as he carefully pushes his hand down your pants. He shifts so he’s lying next to you, his lips tracing soft whispers of kisses along your neck before whispering in your ear, “Let me rub you through your panties. I want to hear you moan for me as I get you soaking.” Niall bit lightly at your ear lobe, his fingers pressed against your clit over your panties._

_You were already soaking wet for him. You swallowed thickly before nodding, giving him the go ahead._

_He leaned in to kiss you as he pressed his fingers against you, rubbing slowly at first before speeding his hand up._

_The heat pooled in your stomach, the deep flush went from your chest to your cheeks, and you couldn’t control the noises you were making. Niall loved every moment of it._

_You started to arch as you were about to cum when you hear the door knob jiggle. You shoved Niall off you and pulled your shirt back on as the door opened. Your roommate walked in, glanced over and blushed before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door. He started to laugh and you just turn deep red and shake your head. “Get out of here Horan. I’ll see you later.”_

_“I know we will, Y/N.” He smirked and gave you a cocky grin before leaning in to give you a sloppy kiss and slipping out._

_The next week, you got invited to yet another one of his stupid frat parties. You gave him yet another maybe, but you both knew you’d be there._

* * *

 

“Fuckin’ beautiful.” He praises and bites gently at your soft skin before unclipping your bra with one hand, his free hand grips your waist tightly.

You pull off your bra and pull his shirt up and over his head. He growls softly and leans in to kiss you hungrily.

You gasp against his lips and grip his shoulders, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“You need to get rid of these jeans. I’m going to make sure you don’t fucking see straight.” He growls.

Nodding, you try to unbutton them and he pulls them right off you. You were freshly shaven and wearing the thinnest black thong that you owned. He looks on in appreciation for a moment. He kisses along your thighs and bites here and there as he goes. He kisses you over your panties and you lean against the mirror, letting out a soft gasp.

“Fucking open the door! I need to piss!” Someone yells from the other side of the door.

Niall doesn’t break stride. He sucks lightly against your panty covered clit.

“Fucking move my panties.” You demand, not liking the teasing. He rolls his eyes and just rips the panties off you—leaving the thin fabric torn, ruined, and discarded aside. He leans in and sucks roughly on your clit, pushing two of his fingers into you. You bury your fingers in his hair, tugging him to get closer. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You whimper out.

Niall hums and sucks and a bit more roughly.

Niall moaned against you, his fingers curling. You find yourself arching and tugging at his hair. He groans and sucks harder at your clit.

You two must have been in there for a while because the knocks were getting more fervent. Both girls’ and guys’ voices calling out for you to open up and hurry, that they needed to piss.

You did start to feel a bit guilty about it but looking down at Niall buried between your legs and meeting his eyes…

There is no remorse in his blues. If anything, it is pride. He smirks and winks at you. Niall is nowhere near being done with you.

He pulls away when he feels you tightening around his fingers. He was not going to let you cum on his fingers.

You sit up and pull Niall in to kiss you, not caring that you can taste yourself on his lips-if anything it turns you on even more. You fumble with the button on his jeans and shove them down along with his boxers and grip his hard on, moving your hand up and down his dick slowly. “Condom?” You gasp as you kiss on his neck, leaving a scatter of dark purple marks. You didn’t want him to forget this.

And he wouldn’t.

He pulls it out his back pocket and you raise your brow. “Were you expecting this?”

Niall couldn’t focus. Your lips were swollen and beautiful. The taste of you lingering-his new favorite flavor. Hair mussed. Eyes dark with lust. “I wasn’t. I am just always prepared.”

“Christ, Horan, you are such a man whore.” You roll your eyes and pull him in for a kiss anyways.

He hums against your lips. He wanted you. Now. Didn’t help that he’s wanted you for a while.

Niall lets you pull away first before handing you the condom. He winks at you and rubs your back as you tear open the tinfoil of the packaging.

More banging at the door. You look up at him, guilt clouding your eyes.

“Fuckin ignore them.” He shrugs and gives you a kiss. With a nod, you pinch the tip of the condom and roll it down his dick carefully. He lets out a content sigh and you look up at him to give him a kiss and he pulls you to the edge of the counter, lining himself up before pushing into you.

You moan against his lips, pulling him closer, if possible.

“Fuckin’ tight.” He gasps against your lips before starting to fuck in and out of you. Your head tips back and you let out a loud moan. He bites and sucks on your neck-giving you a dark purple love bite. You beg him to thrust harder and soon he is going hard and fast, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing quickly. You gasp and cry out his name as you feel yourself start to get closer.

Niall caught his own eye in the mirror and smirks at himself. Finally nailing his study buddy.

What he wanted, what you needed. And now you two were doing what he wanted.

He could hear the pounding on the door and the groans of people when they hear you moan.

 _Good. Leave us the fuck alone._ He kisses you and groans into your mouth as you dig your nails into his back and drag down.

“Cum.” He demands and bites down on your neck.

You whimper loudly, pulling him closer. Niall bites a bit harder and his fingers are a blur on your clit. You start to cry out Niall’s name loudly.

Niall feels you tighten around him and he moans loudly, spilling into the condom. You rest your head against his shoulder. “Fuck.” You whimper out.

His head was tipped back and he lets out a breathless laugh. “Yeah. Let’s finish this in my room? Let me take care of you properly through the night?” He asks and nuzzles your neck after a moment.

“Fucking please.” You gasp and pull him in for another kiss.

He kisses you back for a moment before pulling out and taking the condom off and knots it before tossing it in the trash.

You toss your panties in and pull your jeans back up as Niall gets redressed. You shove your bra in your purse and pull your shirt back on. You toss Niall his t-shirt and he puts it on quickly. You try to smooth your hair and he doesn’t care about his. He takes your hand and leads you out of the bathroom. Everyone waiting in line was glaring except for the few who were busy making out with someone. Niall leads you to his room and locks it the moment you walk into the room. He comes over and takes off your shirt, tossing it to the floor. You do the same to him. He unbuttons your jeans and pushes them down to gather round your ankles as you step out of them, tugging Niall’s down as well. He pushes you back onto the bed and you pull him closer, meeting his lips eagerly.

* * *

* * *

Throughout the rest of the semester, you and Niall fucked regularly. You didn’t feel like your friendship with him was at stake either. You two kept it extremely casual.

If you both were honest with yourselves, it was the best fucking either of you had ever had. It was dirty and it was rough. Sometimes Niall would finger you in class, only when you would wear a skirt and you both sat in the far back with your turntables turned up and over the lap. Sometimes he would trap you in an empty classroom and you’d eagerly drop to your knees.

Studying stopped being studying and just you two spending time together between making out and having sex

You weren’t that dumb to think that this frat boy would ask you to go steady and be his sole fuck. Because, no matter how much time you two spent together and how often you fucked, how often his fingers were in you, how often his dick was in your mouth—Niall is still a frat boy with only one thing on his mind: a good fucking.

Once summer started, things didn’t let up between the two of you. You only lived an hour and a half away from each other, so you’d go up for a weekend of partying and fucking with Niall or vice versa. It was not a summer romance.

It wouldn’t be a romance of any sort. Ever.

He was a fuckboy, man slut, frat brother.

Fall came too quickly for you and for Niall. You both liked the freedom of what was going on. And with your guys’ new schedule being completely opposite, the fucking started to only happen on the weekend, much to both of your dismay.

You hurry into class, running late from a quickie with Niall—which was almost pointless because now you were late.

A bright blue eyed boy waved you to the open seat next to him and you hurry to sit down. You knew you reeked of body spray poorly masking the scent of sex. Your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, and a few love bites barely masked by makeup.

“Thanks.” You breathe out and try to smooth out your hair.

“No worries.” He chuckles and hands you the check in sheet. “I was just about to turn it in.”

“Oh, bless you.” You say in relief and sign the sheet quickly.

You were so frazzled and in your own head, self-conscious about what had happened and what was happening, that you didn’t notice this other student was watching you carefully before shifting his eyes away.

You hand it back to him and say another thanks. He leans over and introduces himself, “Hi, I’m Louis.”

“Hi.” You smile at him, “I’m Y/N.” You nod.

“Nice to meet you.” he murmurs and goes quiet as the professor starts to talk.

You were packing up when you saw Louis lingering. “I know this might seem weird. but I like to exchange numbers with people in my classes to have a contact for emergencies or something. Would you want to exchange numbers?” He asks, raising his brows.

“Oh yeah! Of course,” You hand him your phone to put his number in and he sends himself a text.

“Should I save you a seat next class in case you’re late?” He chuckles a bit.

You laugh. “Sounds perfect. If I beat you to class, I’ll save your spot.”

You two were walking out together at this point and he nods. “Sounds great, love.” He laughs

“I’ll see you around, Louis.” You wave and head out of the building and towards your dorms.

He watches you go and turns to leave as well.

You found yourself being with Louis more and more. You two were always sitting next to each other.  Louis started to bring snacks to share, sweets and crisps.

You two were sharing a bag of gummy worms, whispering jokes about the prof and his lecture. You two had been studying together as well but not like the way you and Niall did.

Your time with Niall was getting even more less at this point. You missed the constant fucking.

So did Niall. He talked to Harry about it occasionally. But Harry’s response was for Niall to just find a new regular fuck. All that would be more work for Niall and not like he’d admit it to Harry, but he liked that it was _you_ that was his regular fuck.

You two were able laugh and joke about things. Your friendship wasn’t ruined by sex. And he also enjoyed that you didn’t care about making things more than they need to be.

He and Harry were heading to the dining hall, still chatting when Harry points you out. “Isn’t that Y/N?” He asks.

Niall looks at you, standing with another guy, laughing and heading towards the parking lot. “Yeah.” He nods, tilting his head to the side.

“Who is that?” He asks.

Niall couldn’t answer. You never mentioned seeing another guy. “I don’t know. Probably a friend from class.” The two of them watch Louis open the door for you and hurry around to get in. “Maybe getting lunch or something.”

Harry raises his brows a bit at him, “Lunch? What is she going to be eating, his dick?”

Niall punches his arm, “Oh shut up. We aren’t in a relationship.” He points out. “She can see who she wants.”

“What if she’s going to fuck him? Then you’re not the only one screwing her.” He hums and adjusts his beanie on his head.

Niall pulls his snap back a bit snugger on his head, hiding his blonde tips. “Then she’s fucking two guys. I fuck other chicks all the time.” He rolls his eyes. “We are not exclusive.”

Harry shrugs and pops a piece of gum into his mouth.

Louis was taking you to one of his favorite burger joints in town. “Okay, tell me more about your childhood. Like what did you do growing up?” He asks.

You shrug a bit. You weren’t used to answering as many questions about yourself as you did with Louis. He wanted to know about you. Know who you were, what you were about.

Louis liked you, plain and simple.

* * *

As the fall semester went on, the fucking with Niall was less and less as you spent more time with Louis. Soon, you started kissing him, cuddling him. Everything but stuff under the clothes.

Finally, it came down to the choice at hand.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Those five little words that ultimately shocked you but made your heart soar at the same time.

“Yes.” You could not fight the grin on your lips as you say yes to Louis.

“Really?” He asks, his brows raising a bit.

“Really!” You laugh and lean in to give him a small kiss. He wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close to him as he deepens the kiss.

You pick at the paper on the coffee cup as you waited for Niall in the hallway where this all started.

He comes bounding up, putting the cup in your hand on the window ledge, pushing you gently against the wall. Niall leans in to kiss you, but you turn your head so the opened mouth kiss hits your cheek. “Y/N…?” He frowns and grips your hips a bit more tightly.

“Ni… I’m sorry. But I-I’ve found someone.” You say awkwardly, pushing him off you gently.

“Found someone?” Niall says a bit confused.

“I have a boyfriend now. I can’t be fucking around with you anymore. Literally. We can still be friends. But we need to cool it.” You say softly and pick up your tea again.

Niall feels a bit betrayed. He feels like you were his best friend. Well, best fuck buddy really. “Oh good. This was getting boring.” He shrugs and takes his tea that you brought. “I have a fuck waiting for me actually. I was going to hit that after you. But guess I can move that up.” Niall say’s callously.

It hurt you more than you would like admit. So, you wouldn’t. “Oh, okay. Well, I had fun while it lasted, Niall.” You nod and lean in to kiss his cheek and leave the stairwell, going to meet Louis at the library.

* * *

* * *

Louis and you lasted through the rest of university, moving London and getting a flat together. Niall fucked his way through the rest of his university experience, always keeping a side eye on you. But as you and Louis got closer, the more Niall forgot about you. Just like you forgot about Niall.

You had to admit, Louis was good in bed, but the whispers of Niall that were always with you that were never going to leave.

It was the same for Niall, but not like he would necessarily admit that. After he graduated, he also moved to the capitol, but on the other side of town. He didn’t know where you went off to, nor did you know where he went. Not that either of you cared.

Niall had his short-term girlfriends here and there. Nothing serious. The latest girl, he had to break up with because she wanted to move in after a couple months. He met up with his old frat brother’s, Harry and Liam, frequently down at the pub. That was a brotherhood that was never lost.

Niall was enjoying his bachelor life while you loved life being involved with Louis.

Marriage was always in the works between the two of you. Louis wanted it and you wanted it, but there was just always something holding it off. The entire relationship just grew stagnate the more you two waited to take the next step.

One day, you came home after a long ass day. You kick your heels off in the doorway and start towards your room. You stop when you see Louis sitting at the kitchen table, alone, and a beer in front of him.

He was picking at the label of his beer. You frown and come over to him, “Baby?” You ask cautiously, rubbing his shoulders gently.

Louis shrugs away from your touch. “Don’t.” He sighs and shakes his head.

You frown and look at him, going to sit across from him. “What’s wrong?” You say in a concerned tone.

“I went out to lunch today and uh… I ran into an old flame.” He says, a frown puckering his face.

“Uh, okay?” You say, a bit confused on what he was trying to get at. “What happened?”

“It was Eleanor.” He looks up as he speaks, his tone dull.

Your heart sinks. Eleanor. The infamous girl that broke Louis’ heart. Here she was, coming back into his life. “Oh.” You were always worried that would be the reason why you two never got married. Being together for six years, one would assume there would at least be an engagement.

“I-uh. We ended up having lunch today.” He speaks slowly and finally looks up, meeting your eyes. His eyes were blood shot and there was heartbreak there. “One drink turned into two. Two drinks turned into a lot more… We ended up at her flat and uh—“ He couldn’t finish. He shakes his head. “I was unfaithful to you and I realized I still have feelings for her, Y/N… We want to try again since we’ve had room to grow. And-And you don’t deserve someone who did what I did to you. I am so sorry. You deserved more.” He sighs.

You had never felt your heart break and your blood run cold at the same time. This was the first time you’ve experienced this so fully. You shake your head, fighting the sob bubbling up in your chest. “I uh. I want to say I understand. But I can honestly say I don’t.” You choke out a bit. “I just think you’re selfish.” You say honestly. “Fuck you. Fuck off. I can’t—I can’t deal with this right now.” You stand up, your hands shaking, tears streaming down your face. “I’m going to my parents. I expect your shit to be out by the morning.” You wanted to fight for this, but it was pointless.

“I’m sorry—“  

“Fucking don’t. Just-Just go.” You hurry out the door, keys in hand and putting on slippers. Fucking Louis’ slippers you kept there to run out the door. God damn it. You know what? Screw it.

These were your slippers now.

* * *

* * *

It had taken you about a year to truly get over Louis, but this’d forever hurt you. It’ll dull with more time though.

You moved flats and eliminated any evidence of Louis from your life. You couldn’t be there anymore. You lived more towards the center of the city now, surrounded by nightlife to get you out of the house and actively taking part in something other than being home and moping.

Sitting at the bar, you order yourself a cocktail. You wore the same clothes you wore earlier to the office, skirt, blouse, and heels. Like any other Friday night, Niall and his brothers came into the pub, taking their booth in the back. Harry makes his way to the front to buy the first round of pints for the table. He leans against the bar, just a couple feet away from you. You had your back turned to him, chatting with a gentleman who offered to buy you your next drink. You politely turn him down and turn forward, your eyes going to the man to your right. You would recognize that head of curls anywhere. He was a norm at the frat house—Niall’s best friend. You turn your body back to the man immediately. But it was too late, Harry had seen you.

“Y/N? Is that you? It’s me, Harry.” He grins and closes the small gap.

You turn to look at him, giving him a faint smile. “Yeah. Harry! How are you?” You ask, putting your drink down and giving him a hug back.

He nods, “I’ve been great! Thank you.” He murmurs. “Niall is here too, by the way.” He motions with his head back towards their table.

“Oh, how nice. I was just going though. Maybe next time.” You down the rest of your drink and nod at him.

Harry frowns and hollers across the bar, “Niall!”

You could have hit him.

Niall sees you look back and his heart skips a beat.

His best college fling. The one who left when it was just getting good. He gets up and Harry dances away with a pint for himself and Liam, leaving Niall’s pint at the bar.

“Y/N, long time no see.” Niall murmurs, coming beside you, his hand resting on the small of your back to draw you in for a hug.

You hug him back, ignoring how well you still fit against him. “Yeah.” You smile. “How have you been?” You ask, waving forward another cocktail from the bartender.

“Oh you know. I am pretty good. Just doing the ol’ work and grind. I’ve been moved up so I am under the president now, which is nice. What have you been up to? Are you and Louis still a thing?” He asks and looks around, searching for Louis.

“Oh no. We’ve been done for about two years.” You say, taking a long sip off your fresh drink. He is married now. You got an invite to his ceremony with Eleanor. You remember almost being sick from the shock of that.

“I’m sorry.” He says sincerely, his head working. If the two of you just broke up, that meant you two were together for a while. “I hope you were the one—“

“I wasn’t.” You shake your head and take another gulp. “Enough about that. What about you? Anyone special?” You ask with a smile. He looks just as hot as he did in uni. But now… he was sexier. He has matured (obviously). What you loved and hated was how he let his bleached blonde hair go and now he was an all-natural brunette.

“Not really. Just enjoying my bachelor life.” He shrugs and sips on his beer.

You laugh, “Didn’t you enjoy enough of that in your fraternity.” You tease him and he shrugs.

“It’s a different game now, Y/N.” He murmurs and searches your eyes. “Can’t just ask to go study.” He jokes and starts to laugh.

You laugh and flush lightly. “Oh Horan, you haven’t changed.”

“Neither have you, L/N.” He laughs and bumps hips with you. “How’s your job going?” He asks, his eyes on yours.

You needed to focus on the words. Not how deep his blue eyes were, not the minty, beer tainted breath fanning your face. You are praying that your perfume is still strong and your lipstick is still in place.  “It’s great. I have changed jobs to a better one in the middle of the city. So I had to move and everything. But it’s all working out extremely well for me.” You nod as you speak, eyes on Niall.

When you take another sip, he looks you up and down. You still had it. Fuck. “That’s great.” You even smelled as good as you did at school.

What Niall would do to get his hands on you.

“Want to sit with us at our table?” He offers, glancing back.

You shake your head. “No. I have to get home. I have an early appointment. Thank you, though . It was great seeing you.” You smile and toss back the rest of your drink.

He raises his brows. “You’re not driving, right?” He asks.

“I walked here from my flat.” You explain and stand up.

Niall gets a better look at you as you settle your tab. He is not going to let you walk home alone. “I’ll walk you home.” He nods and chugs down his pint.

You glance at him, “I can call a cab.” You smile. “Thank you anyways.”

“Aw, c’mon, Y/N. It’s a beautiful night. I would love to walk you home.” He says softly, a faint smile on his lips.

You bite your lip, thinking for a moment. What is really holding you back? You two aren’t in uni anymore. You’re both grown, jobs, flats, the whole nine yards. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Niall grins and helps you put your jacket on and leads you towards the door, grabbing his jacket from the booth. The boys all make noises and you fight your eye roll. He flips them the bird and opens the door for you.

The walk was spent genuinely catching up. The odd little stories here and there, laughing with one another until you’re in front of your flat building. You fiddle with your keys for a moment, “Want to come up for a glass of wine? Or a cup of tea?” You add the tea part on quickly.

Niall nods without having to think twice. “I would love to.”

You feel like the two of you had never lost touch. It is a bummer that Niall decided that being friends was totally off the table when you said you two couldn’t just have random sex anymore.

Niall did regret those last few words that were traded between the two of you. You deserved an apology for that.

He takes off his shoes before going to sit on the couch as you head to the kitchen. “Tea or wine?” You call back.

“Wine, please. Red if you have it.” Niall nods and gets up, looking around, searching the photos. A lot of family and friends in the pictures, interesting art around.

You watch him for a moment before coming over with the glass of wine. “I still have a couple pictures of us from that one summer.” You say as you hand him his glass and take a sip off your own.

“Where are they?” He asks and looks at you.

“In a box under my bed full of uni stuff.” You murmur and nod a bit. Next to the box full of memories with Louis. It was getting smaller and smaller as time passes.

“Oh nice.” He nods, going to go sit again.

You sit across from him, eyes on him. “I—“

“Y/N,” Niall breathes out, looking down. “I need to apologize to you.” He says and looks at the red liquid swirling in his glass.

You frown a bit, “Ni, that’s so—“

“I shouldn’t have made it out that you didn’t mean anything to me. You were my friend. I did care about you that way. I was angry then. I just, I am sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” He finally looks up, searching your eyes.

You nod and bite on your lip, “Thank you. I appreciate that, Niall. I forgive you, of course. It was years ago.”

“It wasn’t nice.” He sighs.

“It wasn’t. But hey, we are older now. Forgive and forget.” You smile and raise your glass towards him.

Niall smiles, “Thanks, love.”

You two talked until the wee hours of the morning. Niall checks his phone and his eyes widen, “Y/N, I’ve got to go. It’s super late.” He yawns.

You check your phone and your brows come up. “Let me call you a cab to get home.” You take out your phone and phone for one to come pick him up. “They will be here in ten.”

“Great. Thanks.” He goes to the door and you follow to walk him out.

The two of you go down the lift, standing somewhat close. Stepping into the cold, you wrap your arms around yourself. “I’ll wait with you.” You smile.

“You really don’t have to. It’s cold.” He says, wrapping an arm around you and rubbing your arm gently.

“I’ll be fine.” You murmur and relish in the warmth he was giving you.

You watch the cab pull up and you pull away from him. You hug him before he goes. But he takes your phone. He enters his number in your phone and sends himself a text. “We should do dinner sometime.” He says softly and searches your eyes.

“That would be nice.” You smile and nod, taking a couple steps back. “Let me know when you get home.”

Niall nods and gets into the cab.

This was your sixth date. You decided that you would go to his flat when he offered, like he did the last few dates. He wasn’t impatient nor was he pressing for more. Did he want to get laid? Yes. But this wasn’t about getting laid. This was about being with you. In a new way.

Like before, there was no pressure to date you, just like before; no pressure for anything more than when you two were having sex. But Niall was someone else, you were someone else. And this was entirely different.

You pull on your thigh high stockings, connecting the latches from your garter belt. You wear the matching bra to the set and clip the back together. You slip into the black dress that clung to you in all the right places. If you bent over, the lace at the top of your thighs and straps to your garter belt would be put on display.

* * *

_You sat down at the table, Niall pushed in your chair and sat across from you. It was casual. You wore jeans and a nice top with heels. He wore black skinny jeans and a jumper. Catching up was one thing but meeting up for dinner was another._

_“I’m thinking the steak? What about you?” He asks as he skims the menu._

_“I am feeling like the salmon.” You murmured. “With a glass of Chardonnay.”_

_“I want a Guinness.” He chuckled and closes his menus. “You look beautiful.” Niall spoke in a gentle tone._

_You looked down, flushing. “Thank you. You’re looking rather handsome yourself.”_

_He grinned and reached across the table to hold your hand. “I am glad that you decided to do dinner with me tonight.”_

_“Me too.” You admitted and squeezed his fingers._

* * *

Niall picked nice slacks and a button-down shirt that he tucked in. His sports coat is on the bed and he finishes mussing his hair a bit. He honestly couldn’t believe that he had you back in his life. He loved how easy it was to be with you and how easy it was to fall into a sort of… routine. He called you on his way home from work to just chat. There were a few times he’d come over for a movie with a bottle of wine or take away. But nothing like when he took you out—he loved taking you out, showing you off. Maybe not as his girlfriend, but as someone he was dating.

* * *

_This time, Niall took you to a place with a view. And it was gorgeous. He kept his eyes on yours, studying you for a moment. “Thanks for coming.” He smiled shyly._

_You shrugged, being brave and taking his hand across the table. “You don’t need to thank me for coming on a date with you. I enjoy your company, Ni.”_

_He laughed a bit, “I enjoy yours. But I was also kind of a prick and didn’t end things—“_

_“That was college. It’s not a problem.” You shook your head at him, leaning over to peck his cheek. “I forgive you, remember?” You asked, brows coming up._

_Niall hummed and turned his head so your guys’ lips were mere centimeters apart. “I do. And I’m thankful for that.” He looked from your eyes to your lips. He leaned in slightly and you met him in the middle for a gentle kiss._

* * *

You put on red lipstick, making sure it outlines your lips perfectly. You straighten from the mirror and put more perfume on—the one he complimented on the third date. You put in earrings and put on a necklace. You slip into your heels and move some things from your purse to your clutch, your stomach churning. You were so nervous. Unnecessarily so.

* * *

_Niall hugged you close for a moment, “I love that perfume. It smells so nice.” He smiled and looked down at you, leaning in for a gentle peck._

_“Oh thank you. It’s new.” You smiled, returning the kiss._

_He wanted to take you on a breakfast date this time. And you absolutely adored that idea. He took you to a little French cafe. Niall looked like he had just woken up a few moments ago. You’d remember that sleepy face anywhere. You wouldn’t be able to forget it._

_He pulled your chair to his side of the table and draped an arm around you as the two of you browsed the menu._

* * *

Niall brushed his teeth and heads out the door, shrugging on the sports jacket. He chews slightly at his thumb nail as he drives to your flat. His heart is racing. He is so nervous. Just like every other date the two of you have been on. Ever. Not for any of the girls he had been with over the last few years. He rings the buzzer at your flat and bites down on his lip.

* * *

_“Niall! I don’t think I can do this!” You laugh and shake your head as he dragged you inside towards the biggest roller coaster._

_“Oh c’mon darling! It’ll be so much fun. I’ll buy you cotton candy after and win you a stuffed animal!” Niall tries to convince you, pouting as he takes you to rollercoaster that went from 0-100 in 7 seconds._

_He held your hand through the ride and bought the picture at the end of it. It was a terrible photo. But he loved it._

_And he won you that stuffed animal and bought you your cotton candy._

* * *

You jump when you hear the buzzer and grab your clutch and a scarf to use as a shawl. You give yourself a once over in your mirror before locking the door and heading down to Niall, smiling when you see him. “Hi.” Your stomach was full of butterflies still, they only got worse seeing his brown locks and blue eyes.

_“A Thames River cruise?” Your brows come up, laughing a bit._

* * *

_“Yeah! I think it will be fun! There’s a small restaurant on the boat. And it’s ours for the afternoon. Sooo.” He smiled and kisses your forehead. “It’ll be a grand time!” He laughs and helps you onto the boat._

* * *

Niall looks you up and down and takes your hand, twirling. “Damn baby. You’re looking beautiful.” He murmurs and rests his hands on your waist, pulling you in for a kiss.

You kiss him back, your hands resting against his chest with a hum. “Thank you.” You murmur and look up at him, wiping the bit of lipstick that was left on his lips.

“Can we have the doorman take our photo?” He asks, pulling out his phone.

Your brows come up a bit, “Of course.”

He poses with you, arm around your waist, holding you close. The doorman takes a few. Your favourite was the one where Niall was looking fondly down at you. The other when you two were laughing with one another.

There was nothing like candid’s.

* * *

_“This is a good old fashion pub crawl with me best girl.” Niall announced and got up off your couch as you come out of your room._

_“Oh?” You raised your brows and grabbed your bag, slipping into your flats._

_“Yeah. Through a small town. It will be cool. I promise not to get drunk. And I’ll take the best care of you!” He laughs and wraps an arm around you as you two walk to the lift. “Besides I need to show off my best girl.” He nodded._

_You flushed and laughed, turning to give him a kiss. “You’re pretty good at this dating thing, Horan.”_

_“You deserve the best.” He shrugged._

* * *

 

He had booked this date after you said yes the first date, to make sure the reservation would go through. There was a small waitlist. But he got the two of you the best table in the restaurant, the one with the view. Again.

The sexual tension was palpable throughout the meal, Niall was never not touching you, his heated glances made you wet at the table. When food came, he settled in, making sure your legs were touching. You two shared the chocolate mousse for dessert, and Niall insisted on feeding you every bite.

He settled the check and put his jacket over your shoulders and keeps his hand on the small of your back as he leads you out of the restaurant.

“Let’s go down to Westminster, wander a bit.” He murmurs, not quite ready to end your time with him.

“These aren’t the shoes for walking.” You laugh a bit. “How about we… Go back to yours?” You ask, looking up at him.

Niall’s brows come up, you had never offered to come over. He nods, “Watch a film?” He asks, handing the ticket to the valet to bring his car around.

You liked going to yours so often because it was your environment and you controlled it. “Yeah. Sounds good.” You let Niall open your car door and help you in. He goes around and rests his hand on your upper thigh, humming softly to the radio.

You rest your hand over his and lean your head back, smiling softly.

Niall put on movie and you come out of the bathroom. You had taken the pins out of your hair because they were hurting your head. You come to sit next to him on the couch, cuddling up with him. Your head rests on his chest, arm wrapping over his stomach. His flat was exactly what you were expecting it to be. It was simple, clean, and just screamed Niall.

He buries his face in your hair and kisses the top of your head gently. You turn and look up at him, smiling softly. You lean in and give him a slow kiss. He returns it, his hand pressing into the small of your back.

It was the slow burn type of kiss, slow but hungry for more. You shift so you can straddle him down to the couch. He hums in surprise, his hands going to grip your hips. You break the kiss and shake your head. You move his hands to your bum and he squeezes. You press your chest against his, pushing your tongue into his mouth. He lets out a soft noise and grips your ass a bit tighter.

You could feel his hard on through his trousers and you grind down against him, he lets out an audible groan. You smirk and break from his lips to kiss hungrily down his neck. You bite gently and suck a mark into his neck—it would fade by the morning.

Niall spanks you, “Fuck, baby.” He whispers and lets his head drop back. “Should I take us to my room?” He asks and pulls you closer so he can kiss on your neck, biting harshly.

“Yes.” You nod shifting to get off him but he holds you closer and picks you up, his lips coming to yours. You cup his cheeks before knotting your fingers in his hair. He kicks the door of his bedroom shut. He lays you on the bed and looks at you. His mind goes to all the time he’s ever had you laying on the bed before him.

But this was something different.

The two of you were different.

You look up at him, your breathing a bit erratic. This isn’t the first-time Niall had you feeling this. This was so entirely different in such a lovely way.

“You’re beautiful.” He breathes out, his eyes slightly hooded.

You flush and sit up slightly. “Come here.” You take his hand and pull him closer to give you a kiss.

You both knew tonight there wouldn’t be a fucking.

“Let’s get you undressed.” He says softly and pulls you onto your knees so he can pull off your dress. He lets out a groan.

You matched your panties and bra on purpose. Because it was finally time for you two to go past the threshold of the bedroom door. There was a quote forever engrained in your brain, ‘when a woman matches her panties, it wasn’t the man who decided to have sex’.

By your actions and words, Niall also knew you were ready. But he wouldn’t have a problem if you asked to stop—he respected you. “You look utterly amazing.” He sighs out and looks you up and down, biting his lip.

You lay back on the bed and watch him hurriedly undo his buttons and pull of his slacks.

Niall leans down and kisses you again, another slow burn. You pull him close enough to wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close. He shifts a bit to pull down your thong, his lips not moving from yours. Niall only breaks the kiss to reach over to the side drawer for a condom. You take it from his fingers and put it on for him. You look up at him with a faint smile.

He returns the smile and brings his lips back to yours, pulling your bra straps down. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you up a bit to unclip it. He tosses it down to the pile of clothes that you two had made. He looks down at you for a moment, nothing had changed. You might have gotten a bit softer, but no real change. He leans in and kisses along your chest before kissing on your tits, sucking slightly at the nipple.

You gasp and arch into his touch. The feelings that were running through you were entirely new. You had never felt this with him before. Nor with Louis. You cup his cheeks and make him kiss you again, drawing him close.

Niall grips his dick with one hand, teasing your entrance with the head of his dick before pushing into you.

You whimper loudly, your head going back to the pillow. He groans and buries his face in your neck. “You feel so good.” He pants and bites gently at your neck causing you to whimper again. He starts to move, picking up a slow, loving rhythm.

You grip his shoulders, digging your nails in, heels digging into his calves. One hand gripped his head board so he wouldn’t put all his weight on you, the other hand went between the two of you and rubbed your clit.

Niall had always been generous in bed—even in college (with you at least). He had only gotten better.

You find yourself moaning his name as you feel the warmth fill your stomach and your inner thighs were shaking, your fingers digging into his shoulders. His breath gets a bit heavier, his moans becoming more frequent as you start to tighten around him.

You let out a louder moan as you cum, your body tensing up, pulling him tightly against you. He isn’t quite there yet. And he wanted you to cum again. He wanted you to be the only thing you’d remember about the night.

He changes his pace to go a bit faster, he meets your lips and moans against your mouth. You reached your hand down between the two of you and let his balls rub against your hand with every movement of his thrusts. He breaks the kiss as he groans out your name and spills into the condom. He thrusts a few more times before resting against you.

You two were a pile of sweaty limbs and heavy breathing. You look up at him and smile, before laughing a bit breathlessly. “Woah.” You breathe out.

He nods and pulls out, pulling off the condom and knots it. “Yeah.” he tosses it into the trash and lays on his side to look at you. “Want to go again in a bit?” He asks and kisses gently along your shoulder.

“Yes.” You murmur and shift to lay to face him.

You fell asleep with Niall’s arms around you. And you were content sleeping here with him, comfortable in his arms. You didn’t wake up when he got out of bed in the morning. You didn’t wake up while he cooked you breakfast.

Niall comes back in the room, setting the tray with the breakfast on the night table. He comes over and rubs your back. His fingers dance up and down your spine, “Y/N…” He whispers, kissing on your neck.

You wake up to the kisses and smile immediately. “Hi.” You turn to bury your face into the pillows and stretch.

“Good morning, love.” He smiles. “I made you breakfast.”

You look up at him, your brows coming up in surprise. “Really?” You ask, smiling sleepily.

“Really.” He chuckles and hands you a t-shirt of his to put on so you can eat.

He eats with you and you two have easy conversation through the morning.

“I’ll go clean up.” You offer and start to get out of bed.

Niall shakes his head, “Nope. I’m not cleaning up until later. For now, let me just kiss on your neck, allll morning.” He pouts and pushes you to lay back into bed, leaning in to kiss on your neck happily.

You smile and turn your head to the side. “We can do that.” You hum and close your eyes.

**_Two Years Later_ **

“I do.” You say, searching Niall’s eyes, your hands in his.

“And do you, Niall Horan, take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

“I do.” Niall grins and winks at you.

“You may now kiss the bride.” The priest nods and Niall takes you into his arms, dips you back, and gives you a long kiss. “I present, Mr. and Mrs. Niall Horan!” The priest grins and claps.

Niall takes your hand and leads you up the aisle and out the door to the waiting car to take you to your wedding reception. After that, you two were off to Australia for a few weeks for your honeymoon.

He went from being a frat fuck boy to the man you are going to be spending the rest of your life with.

You couldn’t be any happier. Neither could he.


	53. Even Though You Don't Mean It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prologue is found Part 13: And I Write Again, I Love You

 

Niall watched his phone, anxiously waiting for your response. It had been exactly 170 days since you walked out of his life. He was sure that you were forever gone. Ten days ago, he texted you.

_Have you read the letter?_

He didn’t think you were going to respond at all. But two days later, you responded.

_Yeah._

You weren’t going to respond, you didn’t think that you should. But honestly, it would be cruel if you didn’t. So you thought.

In the last six months, you were slowly getting over him. You had your first date coming up in a week. You were excited for it because you finally felt confident enough to take that step. But your response to Niall opened the floodgates of talking.

But… Your stomach didn’t fill with butterflies when he texted you. Not like it used to. Your heart didn’t race, your palms didn’t sweat, and you didn’t smile.

It was like a chore.

Not for Niall. The moment his phone went off with your personalized text tone, his heart jumped to his throat. He could barely get his thumb to scan over his home button to unlock his phone. Only one word. But that word, for some reason, gave him hope.

_Has anything changed for you? Nothing has changed for me._

His response was instantaneous, even though he wanted to be coy and wait to respond, he couldn’t bring himself to do so.

The message made your stomach twist, feeling sick. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond. At least… Not yet.

You went on your date. His name was Josh and you thought he was nice. You two agreed on a second date.

 _Has anything changed for you?_ His question echoed through your mind. It had been a week. You needed to respond. _What do you mean?_

Niall woke up to your text tone beeping, heart racing. You finally responded. His heart squeezed at your response. _I am still in love with you. I am waiting for you to come back._ His thumb hesitates over the send button before taking a breath and sending it. _I’ve not stopped, Y/N. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up and my last thought before I go to bed. I love you._

You bit hard on your lip. Did you love him? Oh yes. With everything you had. He was your first love, your first boyfriend you lived with… All of it. You would always love him because of the special place he held in your heart. But… Were you in love with him?

You weren’t sure, if you were honest with yourself. For the last year of your relationship, he had turned into a selfish being, really only focused on himself and his problems. It broke your heart. You started falling out of love with Niall more than six months ago. You were falling out of love with him for the last year, minimum. The break up solidified it.

You couldn’t answer him now.

 

Another two weeks passed, two more dates with Josh, and still no response to Niall.

Niall was second guessing himself constantly in those two weeks. He came to the conclusion that he should not have sent any those text’s. It was heart breaking that you never responded. He couldn’t get you out of his head during his press conferences in Australia. Niall was excited for it, but with no response couldn’t stop thinking of you.

He saw the pap pictures too. That stupid Josh fella. Holding _his_ girl’s hand, paying for _his_ girl’s meals, kissing _his_ girl’s cheek.

But that was the thing… You weren’t _his_ girl anymore.

Three more days pass and still no response. _Don’t worry about it, darling. Best of luck_.

You shake your head at your phone as you read his message, your own heart breaking for him. You knew that he saw the pap pictures. You were trending on twitter. Not very nicely either.

You stayed awake, waiting until you were sure he would have gone to sleep before replying. You were curled up on the window seat in your one bedroom flat. The moon was hung high in the sky, the clouds starting to hide the stars. You knew you were going to cry through this.

Your fingers hesitated over the screen but ultimately, you had to send the text.

You both needed the closure.

 _Niall, I will always love you. You were my first love. My first boyfriend I moved in with. My first for quite a lot. And most definitely, my first heartbreak._ You leaned your head back, closed your eyes and tried to reach into your heart to what you were feeling six months ago when you left him, how you felt falling out of love with Niall. _But honestly? I started falling out of love with you long before I left and we broke up._

You took another breath, biting on your lip. _Everything has changed for me. And I will not apologize for that, Ni. Because that’s where our relationship lead and ended. I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m sorry that this will hurt you._ It took you a few moments to gather the courage to press send for the message.

Niall was still getting over the jet lag from being in Australia and was wide-awake when you responded. His heart jumped again. But as soon he read the message, he felt his eyes mist over with tears. He reread the words, praying that they would change on the screen and say that you were still in love with him and that you would move back in with him.

 _What happened?_ Niall needed to know.

 _Do you really not know?_ Bull shit. In his letter he owned his shit. Did he forget in the last six months what he wrote? Why was now any different, nothing had changed for you. Nothing took away the bull shit he put you through.

_You wrote me a letter owning exactly what was happening, Niall._

Niall sighed and shook his head slightly, trying to remember what he wrote. He recalled mentioning how the lack of communication and being selfish, focusing too much on himself. But if that’s what it was—why was it still making you so upset? _The miscommunication and selfishness? Just that?_

 _JUST those two things?_ You responded with. _Niall, making your problems seem like they are the only problems that matter because you’re famous and because you are popular makes me feel insignificant and worthless and not worth your time. Those are important things to be worried about!_

Niall sat there, taking in what you said. You were right, naturally. He just thought it was the one thing about making his problems be the only problems—but he did not once think about how it would make you feel. You felt like shit while you were with him. Of course you left.

He tried to blink back his tears, only now did he see how much he had hurt you during the relationship.

How could he ever think that you would want to come back to him? _I did not think of it like that, love. I am so, so, SO sorry that I put you through that shit. You did not deserve any of that. You deserve so much better. I hope you find that with whomever you’re with. I hope you can forgive me for the shit I put you through. I love you, Y/N._

You tried to keep your own tears at bay but failed horribly. You started to cry at his message. He didn’t realize until now? You shake your head and wipe your tears off your cheeks. _Of course I forgive you, Ni. But it doesn’t mean much more than we can be cordial to each other._

Niall sniffed and buried his face in his pillow for a moment. _So this is it then? The end? For good?_ He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what you were going to say in response.

 _For good._ You responded simply. You started another message to him, _This is good bye. You and I had our chance, had our run, but it didn’t work out. I had a good time with you for the time that we were together, Ni, don’t get me wrong. But this is for the best. You are doing great things and you will continue to do so, good luck with everything in your life and everything you planned on doing… I’m going to block you so you can have a fresh start._

You stopped typing, shaking your head a bit. You didn’t need to send him all of that. What did it matter? Nothing was going to change. You didn’t love him then and you didn’t love him now. This wasn’t going to be easy on him regardless of what you said. You needed to make sure that you wouldn’t come up again in his life. You delete the entire message before sending, _I’m going to block you okay_

Niall held his breath as he read that, watching the text bubble still be there as you were typing.

 

Niall lied to you saying it wouldn’t hurt him more. He needed to hear it. He needed it more than he needed to breathe air. You could block him all you wanted, but he wasn’t going to delete the messages.

You might have fallen out of love with him. But he was still very much in love with you.

Niall never got the chance to fall out of love with you.

With time, he would.

He hoped.

 


	54. Slow Hands

You had spent a lot of the evening in the arms of this brunette with the eyes that were like an infinity pool—never ending.

Be it shots, on the dance floor, or sneaking smokes out back in the space that was not even an arm lengths away, you and Niall were inseparable from the moment you two first danced the last time you two met.  

This was a planned meeting, meet up at the bar for some drinks, let things go as they may… But this was getting boring, Niall was such the gentlemen, being gentle and not pushing boundaries. You wanted to get laid, you could tell by the bulge in his jeans he wanted to get laid.

You wanted him bad.

“We should take this back to my place.” You say, looking up at Niall, eyes searching his.

Niall tried to hide his shock and surprise, you had just said that right to his face. You were echoing his thoughts. When you two agreed to meet, this was all he could think about all day and he had be hoping you felt the same because he wanted you bad.

He smirks and his hands grip your hips, your hands going to his chest.

_Slow._

His hands massage your hips for a moment before going to the small of your back and the top of your ass. Your eyes didn’t move from his as your hands gently trailed down his shirt.

_Slow hands._

You could feel the sweat through his shirt and you were sure he could feel yours through your dress. Niall leans in and kissing you, gently at first but he loses any shyness he was feeling earlier. He pulls you closer, his hands gripping your waist and keeping you tight against him. “No-no chance that I’m leaving here without you.” His Irish accented words were mumbled against your lips.

You smirked, “There’s no stopping now.” You whisper and kiss him again. You had plans and those plans involved making it all slow— _slow hands._

Niall calls a cab and you two are in the alleyway, hands gripping at each other, your lips feverish against each others.

You pull back to catch your breath and let out a sigh of relief and rest your head against the wall, panting. He smirks and kisses you again, “Done all ready?”

“Fuck no.” You shake your head and trace the exposed bit of chest gently with your fingers and he lets out a hum.

“Where the fuck is that bloody cab?” Niall growls and grips your leg and hooks it onto his hip. He pushes against you and kisses you again. You respond to the touch and the guidance instantly. You pull him close, hands knotting in his hair. His starts to phone buzzes and he growls. “Isn’t here when we need it most and comes when things get good. C’mon petal.” He hums, taking your hand and to the cab.

But once you two started to climb into the cab, you couldn’t keep your hands or lips off of him.

Niall had to fight his noises of approval, but it was hard to do so when you were kissing and sucking on his neck as he climbed into the back seat with you. He wasted no time, he didn’t want to have too much foreplay at the house.

He wanted to fuck you.

Niall shifted you so you are straddling him down to the seat, hands knotting in his hair all over again.You are actually able to grind down onto him, causing a gasp from you when your clit catches on the crotch of his jeans. He smirks and pushes his hands up your dress and traces your sweat-damp skin. “Think you can cum like that?” He asks and guides your hips to grind on him again, making you bite your lip and close your eyes, your hips try to take over what he was doing but he wouldn’t let you. “No no. Nice and slow.” He says seriously, guiding your hips so you’re going slow and grinding.

He makes your hips move and grind, more sweat beading along the spine of your back, the sweat dripping down the now dirty laundry you were wearing. Your breathing turns into short gasps as you feel the pool of warmth grow in your stomach and you let out a soft whimper of his name in his ear as you cum. It wasn’t earth shattering, but it didn’t need to be. The cabbie was just in the front seat and that alone was dangerous and sexy enough.

* * *

You two were glued together, close and unbreakable as you two stumbled up to your front door. Niall picks you up and presses you against the door, his lips warm against yours. “Inside. We have a bed.” You gasp, pressing the keys into his hand.

He gets you two through the door but you two are on the ground in your entryway, Niall pressed flush against you, your legs spread so he can fit. He kicks the door closed and you start to unsteadily undo the buttons on his shirt. He smirks and pushes your dress up and pulls down your panties with a single hand and a hum. “Babe, these are drenched.”

“And you’re about to bust through your jeans.” You retort back, pushing the shirt off of his shoulders and you just stop for a moment. You lean back on the hard floor and trace his shoulders and chest, biting gently on your lip.

Your fingers trace down his torso and Niall shivers.

You were fucking driving him crazy. He wanted you. But he wanted you to control this, after all… You were the one who said to come back and it was your home.

There was a hunger and softness in your eyes that made Niall feel warm and he smiled a bit. “Let’s go to your room, yeah?” He asks, moving your slow hands to be pinned above your head.

“Yeah.” You nod and you let him help you up. You pull your dress down over your bum and leave your panties in the hall before leading him to your room.

Niall’s eyes were glued to your hips swaying as you took him to your room. You were intoxicating. This was dangerous.

You make him sit on your bed and he watches you pull the dress off, eyes running up and down your naked body. He couldn’t help but admire the shape of your waist and how soft you were. You looked fucking gorgeous, the barely there light setting an intimacy.

“What are you looking at?” You ask with a flush.

“I like watching you.” He smirks at you, his eyes still looking you up and down, admiring.

You bite on your lip and tried to stop the butterflies that were coming alive in  your stomach. You threw your dress playfully at his face. But Niall was faster. He caught it and tosses it carelessly to the floor. He didn’t want to miss a moment of what you were doing.

You get close enough for Niall to touch, his hands reach out, moving them slowly along your soft skin, gripping your chest, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples.

You gave him a hungry look and push your hands through his hair, eyes on his. The brunette locks were soft and such a rich colour.

Niall almost closed his eyes but he forced them open to watch the way you straddled him to the bed. His hands move up your back slowly, enjoying the curves as he leaned up for a kiss.

But you stop him by puling his head back by his hair, covering his neck in kisses and leaving light lovebites.

“Please…” Niall’s voice was barely a whisper as his hands went down to grope at your ass, pulling you against him.

You bit your lip again, eyes closing as you rub Niall’s neck and down his chest, loving the warmth of his skin and how Niall was reacting to every touch. Niall leaned in and pressed a hot kiss to your chest, taking a deep breath to beg again, “Please…”

You met Niall’s eyes and felt yourself melt. You kissed him and let out a soft noise as he dug his fingers into your back.

He exhaled, letting your tongues meet as he tightened his grip on your hips tightly. There needed to be more than all of this. You moved back and pulled off his pants and boxers, and toss them aside, pushing him back onto the bed and getting back on him, pressing your lips together. You began to grind against him again, moaning and relishing in the feeling of bare skin against bare skin.

This was getting boring for you, so you shift off of him and kneel next to him, holding your hair back. Without hesitation, you took Niall into his mouth, taking him in all the way and savoring the way he tasted. You pull away with a slight gasp before running your tongue up the length, just to take him in again, working Niall in and out of your mouth slow in the motion. His moans are muffled and you look up to see him watching you, brows knitting as he bit his lip, just loving how your tongue ran across the sensitive spot of his head over and over again.

“Fuck, stop, stop, stop.” He stops you and leans his head back panting. “You’re driving me crazy. Don’t want the party to be over without you.” He gasps and pulls you in for a kiss and flips you over. “I’m going to treat you so good.” He winks.

He shifts down and spreads your leg for him, his head burying in your thigh, kissing and biting at it. Your reactions of loud moans made him smirk, causing his dick to throb. He bit gently at it before tailing his kisses up towards your soaking pussy.

“Ni, hurry—“

“Hush. Slow. Don’t want to rush.” He murmurs but places his mouth on you anyways, licking up and down and sucking on your clit. The pleasure rattled like electricity through your veins and you knew this wouldn’t last very long at all.

Niall worked fast, his tongue working in phenomenal ways that had you begging for more. Your hips rolled as pleasure took control, your whole body arched as Niall pushed his song into you, nose nuzzling along your clit. He slid his hands beneath your ass, holding you in place. You started to pant and and moan his name over and over, praising his talents. “Fuck!” You cry out as you start to cum, arching and panting. He smirks, coming up after you ride out your orgasm, licking his lips.

“Well then.” He chuckles, leaning down to kiss the bottom of your stomach.

You let out another whimper before looking up at him. “I want you bad.” You whisper and bite down on his lip, pulling gently.

“Then let’s stop fucking around.” Niall nodded.

You push him away again before straddling him down, your lips finding his, your tongue trailing along Niall’s bottom lip as you sink down onto his hard length. He lets out a shake breath, his hands pushing into your hair, keeping your steady as the two of you make out. He moves his hips in and out of you at a steady pace.

“Fuck…” You breathed against Niall’s mouth, his hans moving to your chest as you press your head against his neck. You sit up and sink fully down onto him with a loud moan before beginning to ride Niall. You find a rhythm and pace and keep it going.

This had been what you two had built up over the could nights at the club and it was as good as you expected.

You began to pant as Niall bucked his hips at the even pace and you tried to go faster but your legs began to shake. Niall noticed and flipped the two of you without a second thought.

Your lips met again as Niall begin to rolls his hips, thrusting into you faster. The two of you were quickly distracted from the kiss as the pleasure was growing. At this point, your kisses were messy and all over the mouth and neck.

Your fingers gripped tightly onto Niall’s shoulders as he moaned into your ear. Your lips met again as you started to cum, breaking the kiss to moan out his name, hands tugging at his hair. Niall growled and thrusted harder and faster, starting to cum, letting out moan into your neck.

After a moment, he pulls out and lays carefully on top of you. The two of you sweaty limbs and panting heavily. “Fuck.” You whisper, your fingers going to trace the muscles on his back, trying to ignore the raised skin where you dragged your nails down his back.

“Mm. Agreed.” He says sleepily, his lips finding yours in a lazy kiss before pressing his face into your neck. “Don’t stop doing that thing wth your hands. It feels nice.”

You smile and press a chaste kiss to his damp temple and kept running your hands slowly over his back.

_[Slow Hands](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DIyjO8IsxG6U%26list%3DPLLOBSr5iJ90433_kG7wSzCSaSZr4TagER&t=NDQ0YmVmZDk3MTI4YTQzOWU4MTc5ZmVlNWI0YzMwZDllNjcxZGIxNixNclVyRlptaA%3D%3D&b=t%3AwcQrLFm7rs2k6sFoVAbKFg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetniallofmine.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160307437807%2Fslow-hands&m=1) _


	55. The King's Princess || Narry

"Daddy, can we get ice cream on our way home?" The soft voice of Niall's almost five-year-old daughter was quiet but completely audible to his trained ear. He glances over at her, trying to not smile at her eyes doing the best puppy dog pout.

He searches those big blue eyes for a moment. A giant, dramatic sigh comes from him. "How can I say no to such a face?" He smiles and pulls his young daughter into his arms, rubbing her back. "Daddy only has a bit left to do and we can get going." He smiles at her, kissing her forehead. "Finish your coloring so we can hang it before I go." He murmurs and kisses her head again before letting her go to color. He turns back to the files and finds himself hurrying through them to get out of the office more quickly.

He was lucky that his boss let him come in on Saturdays to make up what he missed when leaving early because of Lily.  He sets them in the outbox file and sighs. He turns in his chair to look at his brunette, pudgy child. This little girl was the light of his life, the reason for a lot of his happiness. He was lucky to have her.

Regardless of what happened with her mother.

He smiles as she focuses on her scribbling. He clears his throat, "You all done, princess?"

Her head snaps up and she looks at her father. "Yes daddy! Let's hang it up!" She brings it to him. Niall chuckles and he pins it next to the others she's drawn him and by her first school photo. "Daddy, daddy! Ice cream now, right?"

"Yes, yes, yes." He chuckles and tickles her, enjoying the sounds of her squealing and giggling.

She grabs his hand as they leave the office and that turns into her hugging his leg as he locks up before taking her hand again. Niall lets her skip as he walks next to her. How could her mum walk out on the two of them, he would never know. She was only a few months old and Niall was crushed... but he was more stressed out about how this would affect the tiny baby that now only relied on one person to care for her. Lily was the sweetest little girl and honestly, a perfect daughter.

Her mother was missing out and wouldn't have the privilege to be in Lily's life.

"Daddy! Here it is!" She claps her other small hand around the larger, calloused hand that was holding hers.

Her excited voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Yes darling. It is." He grins at his daughter who was squealing and bouncing in place, hand gripping his more tightly. Niall chuckles and sees the ice cream trolley at the entrance of Hyde Park. "What do you want?" He asks as he leads her closer.

She thinks, head resting against Niall's hip. "I think I want a drumstick, daddy." She nods and turns to press her face into his thigh before standing straight.

Niall nods and order the drumstick and orders himself a magnum. He lets go of Lily's hand just for a moment to get his wallet out and try to find the notes that are shoved behind the picture of Lily. Niall thanks the gentlemen and takes the ice creams from him. "All right, Lil-"

Every parent’s nightmare... his brunette daughter is not at his side. His heart pounds so hard he can keep count of how many beats are happening. His stomach sinks, he feels sick. "Lily!" He yells out, glancing around quickly. He chucks the ice creams down and looks around again.

Niall tries to ignore the looks the other parents and children that are in line. He yells for her again before looking at the parents that are now holding their children closer to their sides. "Have ya seen her?" He can barely understand himself. His accent is coming out thick with the fear that is taking over his mind. "Smol, brown hair. Long. Blu' eyes. Wearing jean trousers and a pink jumper with a kit'en on it." He spits out as he walks backwards. All the parents shake their heads and Niall's starts a jog through the park, shouting Lily's name.

-

The one downfall of this very independent four year old. She liked doing things by herself without necessarily checking with her father. Not because he would say no, but because she was _almost five years old thank you very much._

She had seen the ducks in the water from the spot at the ice cream trolley. She let her little legs carry her as fast as they would go she could to see the ducks and the ducklings in the water.

-

Harry is reading and journaling simultaneously. He will always be grateful for his sister that got him the unlined, leather bound journal. He would read through the poems and if it made him feel deeper than just being neutral, he'd journal.

This is his bench and his moment to take a break from the business of the world and his job of managing the bakery.

Harry is pulled from his thoughts when there is a high-pitched squeal and giggles to follow. He glances up and sees the child leaning close to the water, trying to touch the baby ducks. He rolls his eyes and looks around trying to find the adult that is responsible for watching her.

There is nobody really around and that causes worry to seed in Harry's chest. "Hey, you," he calls to the wild haired brunette. "Come away from the water a bit."

She snaps her head back to him, blue eyes regarding him carefully. "You're not me boss." Her accent is predominately English but Harry detects a hint of something else. Most likely Irish with how defiant she seems n

"I'm not," he laments, "but if you fall in, your father or mum would not be happy and your kitten sweater would be ruined." He points out and brows come up. "I have some bread you can feed them. But you need to come away from the edge to do so." Harry puts his stuff in his messenger back and pulls out the old bread from the bakery.

"Daddy's told me not to talk to strangers." She responds with a scornful look towards this tall, skinny, curly haired man.

Harry nods, "Very good then. But don't sit close to the edge." He comes over and drops the bread near her and goes back to his bench, eyes on her as he pulls out his phone to call the police to report a lost child. "Where's your mum?" He calls to her as he dials.

"I dunno. Somewhere in Ireland I 'spose." She keeps feeding the crusts and bits of bread to all the ducks, humming to herself.

Harry frowns. "Okay... what about your dad, hm?" He asks as he starts to call.

"He was... getting ice cream for us." She stands up and looks towards where the trolley was. "He's not there." She says a bit surprised before a worried look took over her features. "Daddy?!" She calls out, tears filling her blue eyes and she walks to the bench.

Harry frowns a bit. "What's your daddy's name?" He asks as he starts to speak to the dispatch on the other end. "Hi yes. I have a four or five year old girl who left her father at the park and we can't find him. We are at-"

Lily tunes out the curly haired man and stands on the bench and starts to scream out for Niall, "daddy" is echoing through the park. People are turning and looking, Harry blushes and keeps speaking Ito the phone, giving the person as many details.

Niall is sweating from the nerves and how fast he is sprinting around the park yelling out Lily's name. He pauses when he hears that shrill little voice. He straightens and listens carefully before taking off towards the scared voice, he could hear the fear in her strong voice. He thanks god for the set of lungs that she has. He sees her on the bench, tears on her cheeks. Niall takes into account the brunette man on the phone hushing her. Niall's eyes narrowed and he sprints to her and Lily held her arms open for Niall, actually sobbing now, not able to scream anymore.

"I got ya, I got ya." He scoops up his small daughter who seemed to shrink in size as he held her. Sweat trickles down his neck and down his spine. He has his daughter and she is safe.

"Oh the father found her. No need to send anyone. Yes I'm sure. Okay. Okay. Thank you." Harry hangs up and looks at the adult, male version of the girl that is so defiant. "She came down to see the ducks. Almost fell in. I was calling emergency to come." Harry explains, worried how it would come off that the little girl was screaming so loudly for him and crying on a bench next to a stranger nobody knew.

Niall regards the guy with narrowed eyes before nodding. You could never be too careful. "Thanks." He pants, tightening his hold on his little girl. "She's pretty independent." Niall mumbles and rubs his back of the still crying Lily.

"I'm sorry daddy," she hiccups and presses closer.

Harry clears his throat. "Dunno if you are planning on staying, I can't imagine so. But I have a bunch bread for the ducks you guys can have. I have to run." He stands and sets the paper bag on the bench and packs his messenger bag to leave.

Niall thanks him and just takes the bag. "Thanks for calling emergency too. I was scared." He says and shifts Lily to his hip.

"Don't worry about it. It's something any decent human should do." Harry slings the leather messenger over his shoulder and smiles at the two and waves before leaving.

Niall starts to whisper gentle reprimands in Lily's ear as they walk the opposite way back to his car. She needed to understand that that wasn't okay and she was all ready distraught as is.  

-

"I want chocolate and raspberries and more chocolate." Lily muses with her head on Niall's stomach as he writes down the ideas she is talking about for her party. "Oh! And pink. I want pink balloons, flowers, and, and, and-" she takes a breath as she speaks excitedly, "Diamonds! Princess theme daddy!"

Niall chuckles. "I thought as much, petal," he circles the word princess. "Daddy will make sure you have the most princess-y-est birthday ever." He runs his fingers through her damp hair.

"You have to dress up as my prince, daddy." She looks up at him and nods, seriousness in her big blue eyes.

"Can't daddy be the king? This is our castle after all." He gestures around the flat.

She thinks for a moment, "Fine, but you're my king." She nods.

Niall smiles softly. "Just like you're my princess. Always." He says softly and sets the notebook aside and pulls her up to cuddle before singing to her as he stands and carries her to bed. He finishes her song and kisses her head and turns on her night light before going to sit on the couch with a bottle of Guinness and the match he had missed earlier playing.

All ready to be five, where did the time go?

-

He had arranged for the day off so he could stay home and decorate, letting her sleep in. Last year of pre-k before kindergarten, Niall isn't even close to being ready-Lily is his little flower.

Niall had bought her a special princess-like dress for the day and an actual princess dress for her party, tiara with paste jewels and all. Pink streamers and pink balloons (he and Liam spent the entire evening blowing up by mouth) are scattered around the entire house as well. He had gotten a giant silver helium 5 for her chair which he had decorated to look like a throne. Pancakes dyed pink with sprinkles were waiting for her on her plate, a sparkly cup for her morning milk.

Nobody could ever say that he didn't love his daughter. She would be always the number one lady in his life.

He got his guitar, let Liam and Sophia in with their pups and started to play his guitar as loud as he could, the three of them singing a loud Happy Birthday as they entered her birthday. He let Sophia bring in the crown.

She sits up straight in her bed, her sleepy eyes sparkling as she grins tiredly at her people. "G'morning daddy." She yawns hugely and Niall strums his guitar quickly as they finish the song and he puts aside his guitar with the pink streamers hanging off of it.  

Niall gives his daughter a tight hug and kiss to her forehead before Liam lets go of the dogs and they jump on her bed and cover them both in kisses. Niall groans and gets off the bed and Sophia comes over to put the crown on her head. "Princess Horan, today I am going to take you to get the princess treatment. Hair done, nails done. Just me and you!"

Lily touches the crown on her head and her eyes widen in amazement. It is enough time for Niall to make the final touches for the party.

"This is the best day ever! C’mon Auntie Phi-Phi!" She jumps out of bed and gives a quick hug to Liam before rushing out of the room, scream giggling at all the balloons and streamers.

So far so good.

-

Harry comes into work for the day and started to assign cakes to everyone.

One of the newer girls, Taylor, is on the edge of being fired.  She shamelessly flirts with Harry, no matter the entire bakery knows he is gay and she keeps fucking up the cakes.

Blondes.

"Oh for fucks sakes! Swift, get in here!" Harry snaps and looks at the cake that is basically mush at this point.

She comes in, her blue eyes sparkling and lips as red as ever, excited her boss was calling her back.

"What the bloody fuck is this?" He gestures to the smooshed cake.

She raises her brows, "I-I dunno."

"Did you not make this yesterday?" He asks, arching a single brow, twisting a ring on his finger.

"I did." She answers, twirling a piece d her blonde hair on her finger.

"Then what the fuck happened?" Harry snaps and folds his arms.

"I don't know Harry, I'm sorry." She pouts her red lips.

Harry just shakes his head and sighs. "You're done. Just go. Now I have to rebake and tell them I'm going to deliver because it won't be ready by the time we said we would've done with it." He is livid, "Just. Take your things and go. I'll have your last check put in the post, okay? Now get out."

She blinks twice before stiffly leaving the fridge and leaves her apron on the counter.

Harry curses to himself and tosses the cake. He looks at the ticket again. Chocolate fudge frosting, raspberry filling, sparkles, and 'Happy Birthday Princess Lily' in pink frosting.

A simple fucking cake. He shakes his head and pulls down mixing bowls and gets to work.

Half way through he calls the buyer to explain how he had to drop it off. "Hello, this is Harry with Styles Bakery and there was a mishap with the cake so it won't be ready at the time you were given. But I will personally deliver it to your home."

There is a sigh on the other side. "Please before three or I'll have an army of angry four and five year olds."

Distinctly Irish.

Harry chuckles, "I totally wouldn't want that for ya mate. I'll have it there as soon as I finish it."

"Thank you, see you soon."

The phone clicks and Harry sets to work, cursing Taylor in his head the entire time.

-

His daughter came back with her hair down up with her tiara set in it. She got pink sparkly nail polish on her toes and nails. And against Niall's wishes, Sophia got some pink lip-gloss on her lips. He just shook his head and had Sophia change her into the pink princess dress he got for the occasion.

Liam and Niall spent the day picking up the finger foods for the kids and setting up the goody bags.

At twenty till three, parents started to show up with their children slowly filling Niall's flat.

"Where the fuck is that bloody princess cake at?" Niall mutters to Liam, tugging at his sash. He had found a prince costume that made Lily squeal in delight when she saw it.

_"Like a real king daddy!" She clapped, her eyes sparkled._

_"I am a real king because you're a real princess." He murmured and let Sophia take pictures before the party._

Liam bites his lip and shrugs. "Want me to step out and make a call?"

Niall glances at his watch. Cake was supposed to be at 430 and it was creeping up on four. "Give it fifteen more minutes and call in."

-

Harry fucked the first cake. He was so wrapped in his thoughts that he added too much sugar and the cake just... wasn't up to his standards.

But now he was late, cake in the box and carefully secured in the back of his car. He drives as carefully but quickly as he can, it was almost four and he had promised the man he'd be there at three.

At a few minutes after four, Harry is impatiently standing in the lift waiting for the doors open. His eyes stare at the numbers until they got to the floor. He knocks on the door and he can hear music from kid movies playing and a lot of screaming and laughter.

Harry smiles at the man who opens the door before he almost dropped the cake.

Is was the man who had lost his child.

But this time, he isn't sweaty, angry and panicked looking, and he's dressed as a prince. Harry feels a familiar tug in his stomach.

_He is handsome._

Niall smiles before his eyes widen, "You're the man from the park!" He says, a different sort of smile lighting up his face. "Shite, man, come on in." He opens the door. "There's a cake stand on the table."

Niall watches Harry walk in. This time is different than that first run in. Niall is able to really look at this tall, brown haired man.

Growing up, Niall had suppressed his sexuality and after she left... he felt no reason to do that anymore. He enjoyed men as much as he did women.

Niall shuts the door and follows Harry into the home and watches him place the cake on the stand and a look of pride that takes over his face.

Harry looks up and smiles at Niall, "There we go!"

Niall comes over and nods. "It's lovely. Lily is going to love it!"

A faint blush works its way over Harry's cheeks. "Ya sure? I don't know if I put enough sparkles on it." He chuckles a bit and looks at the cake.

"She's five. Not hard to impress. But I'm always extremely impressed with it. It looks like a real princess cake." Niall grins and calls for Lily.

She comes skipping in with her friends. "Daddy! My cake! It's perfect!" She gasps and steps up to table. "I love it!"

"Be sure to say thank you to ah-oh sorry mate, what did you say your name was?" Niall looks at Harry.

"I'm Harry." He says with a slight smile.

"Thank Mr. Harry for your cake." Niall squats and rubs Lily's back.

"Daddy, that's the man from the park!" Lily widens her eyes. "He made my cake?!"

"Yes darling. Now say thank you." Niall murmurs and kisses the side of her head.

"Thank you Mr. Harry, it's perfect!" She smiles shyly and claps.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you like it. Anything for a princess on her birthday!" Harry smiles at her.

She turns and buries her face in Niall's chest shyly. "Go play. Cake soon darling." He pays her bum and she runs off. "Feel free to help yourself to some of the food. We have a lot here." Niall waved his hand.

Liam comes over and glances at the cake. "It's finally here! Great. It looks awesome!" His arm drapes lazily over Niall.

Harry smiles a bit tightly. Of course the blue-eyed brunette is taken by the taller brunette with the quiff. But as soon as Harry was ready to write Niall off as a loss, a gorgeous girl comes over and wraps her arms around the bigger ones waist, resting her head against his shoulder.

"The cake looks lovely. Did you decorate it?" She asks and looks at Harry. Liam shifts off of Niall and hugs the girl back, kissing the top of her head.

"I did yeah. I own the bakery." He smiles. "The girl messed up the first cake and I baked and decorated this myself." Harry sighs and looks at the cake for a moment, not feeling the blue eye stare from Niall.

"I bet it tastes as good as it looks!" Sophia smiles and nods.

"You all look great, by the way!" Harry gestures to the three adults. Liam was dressed as a prince but not as nicely as Niall was and Sophia is also dressed as a princess. "Wish I could have gotten the memo!" Harry laughs.

Liam shakes his head. "Things we do for our best mates, yeah?" He adjusts his sash as Sophia laughs and smooths out her dress.

"Harry, would you like a plate?" Niall asks. "I got catering and obviously the kids aren't going to eat it all. Please feel free to help yourself." He smiles.

Harry swallows and shrugs. "Oh I don't want to be any-"

Lily comes over with a crown. "This is for you for bringing the royal cake!" She smiles and bats her eyelashes up at him.

Niall almost face palms but settles for rubbing his forehead.

"Looks like someone has a crush." Sophia murmurs to Liam and Niall. Liam chuckles and Niall groans.

Harry squats down and smiles at her. "Oh my. Thank you." He bows his head slightly and she places it carefully poised it on his head.

"You're welcome!" She smiles. "Just like a prince!" She sighs and bats her lashes again.

Niall comes over and puts his hand on her waist. "Princess, go get your friends. It's time to sing happy birthday." He murmurs and kisses the side of her head.

She smiles and skips off. Niall and Harry meet eyes and Harry notes the colour on his cheeks as does Niall of Harry's. "Sorry. She's a very forward and independent girl."

"No it's okay. Don't be sorry. She is very funny and her independence is admirable." Harry says, his green eyes on Niall's. "She's seems great."

"She is." Niall smiles and looks away flushing at the praise for his daughter.

After a moment they both stand up and Liam and Sophia are studying them, whispering to each other.

Lily and all the other children file in, giggling and screaming. Parents were still milling about, watching the fun the kids were having.

"Please stay if you can. You've been knighted by the princess." Niall says before turning to the kids. "Okay! Let the king grab his guitar and we will sing to our princess before we feast on cake!"

Harry stands back and glances to Sophia and Liam. Sophia hands him a pink paper plate with a smile and Harry nods before going to load it up with the food. He leans against the counter and watches Niall hold up the decorated guitar and start to strum and sing Happy Birthday. Harry was a bit in awe at the Irishman's voice and couldn't stop the smile as all the kids sang.

-

Everyone had gone home but Liam, Sophia, and Harry.  Harry offered to help clean up and wouldn't take no for an answer.

"We will leave the balloons and streamers up and her chair decorated for the rest of the weak." Niall murmurs as he takes all the wrapped presents into the living room for her to open tomorrow.

Harry is picking up random food plates around the flat, Liam is cleaning the kitchen, while Sophia washes dishes. Sophia and Liam agree and Harry just keeps quiet, just making sure everything is picked up.

-

After everything is picked up, the four adults properly exhausted. Niall changes into trackies and a tshirt along with Liam and Sophia. "Okay guys, let me get you each a beer. Sophia I have wine for you. Then I'll let you all be on your way." He murmurs and grabs three bottles from the fridge and pulls down a wine glass.

Harry stands there a bit awkwardly but actively conversing with Liam and Sophia.

It is all casual and not forced.

Niall hands the guys beer and the wine to Sophia. "That was the most successful birthday party thus far." Niall yawns and takes a long gulp from his bottle.

Liam nods and Sophia shrugs. "I liked the three year old party. There was like. Two kids and no real theme."

"For a theme party, Soph." Niall sticks his tongue out at her. "And Harry, thank you so much for helping out. You honestly didn't need to at all."

Harry shrugs. "After being crowned, couldn't very well leave now could I?"

"Can't believe you got her swooning, she's five!" Liam laughs and Niall glares.

"It's the curls, babe." Sophia giggles and leans into her boyfriend.

He pouts at her and she just smiles and gives him a kiss.

"Lets be real it's because I brought her the cake." Harry jokes and sips on his beer.

Niall laughs. "Well as long as me girl is happy I'm happy."

Niall and Harry walk with Sophia and Liam to their car and Niall hugs them both, promising them a dinner out to say thank you.

Harry shakes Liam's hand and Sophia pulls him in for a hug.

Niall walks Harry to his car. "I really, really appreciate it." Niall's says again. "Helping clean up and delivering the cake. I'm sorry the girl messed it up initially."

Harry shrugs, "Not your fault. She needed to be fired and it gave me a good reason to do so. Sorry your daughter is keen on me." He laughs a bit. "She'll be rather disappointed to know I prefer kings over queens. But she is one of the cutest kids I've ever seen." Harry laughs again.

Niall glances at him as he chuckles. "Kings to queens?" His brow comes up.

Harry nods, eyes trained to the pavement. "Yeah."

"Both are pretty good in my book." Niall says and glances shyly at Harry from the corner of his eye.

They stop at his car and Harry looks at Niall. "You like kings too?" He leans against the car.

"Mhm." Niall glances at the flat. He knows Lily is asleep at home and he isn't more than thirty feet from the flat building. "I do." He smiles at Harry.

Harry nods. "I know you need to get back inside. So I'm going to be frank. I would like to see you again." He bites on his lip.

Niall blushed deeply and nods. "I would like that too."

"If you want Lily to come, that is fine." Harry smiles.

His heart warms and he nods. "That really means a lot."

"I want to get to know you. And I know she's your life too. So. Package deal. It's not a date, just hanging out for now." Harry explains softly.

Slow. Like the way Niall likes it. "Great." Niall hands Harry his phone. "Ring yourself and we can plan something."

Harry puts his number into the phone and calls himself. "Sounds good, Niall. See you around." He smiles and gets in his car.

"Let me know when you get home." Niall waves and waits until he buckles up before walking inside. His phone buzzes and his heart jumps. It is just Liam.

' _Did you score his digits?_ '

Niall rolls his eyes, ' _What makes you think I did?_ '

' _He is not straight and obviously into you_ '

' _I did. Now leave me alone_.'

' 


	56. The King's Princess || Female POV

"Daddy, can we get ice cream on our way home?" The soft voice of Niall's almost five-year-old daughter was quiet but completely audible to his trained ear. He glances over at her, trying to not smile at her eyes doing the best puppy dog pout. 

He searches those big blue eyes for a moment. A giant, dramatic sigh comes from him. "How can I say no to such a face?" He smiles and pulls his young daughter into his arms, rubbing her back. "Daddy only has a bit left to do and we can get going." He smiles at her, kissing her forehead. "Finish your coloring so we can hang it before I go." He murmurs and kisses her head again before letting her go to color. He turns back to the files and finds himself hurrying through them to get out of the office more quickly. 

He was lucky that his boss let him come in on Saturdays to make up what he missed when leaving early because of Lily.  He sets them in the outbox file and sighs. He turns in his chair to look at his brunette, pudgy child. This little girl was the light of his life, the reason for a lot of his happiness. He was lucky to have her. 

Regardless of what happened with her mother.

He smiles as she focuses on her scribbling. He clears his throat, "You all done, princess?" 

Her head snaps up and she looks at her father. "Yes daddy! Let's hang it up!" She brings it to him. Niall chuckles and he pins it next to the others she's drawn him and by her first school photo. "Daddy, daddy! Ice cream now, right?" 

"Yes, yes, yes." He chuckles and tickles her, enjoying the sounds of her squealing and giggling. 

She grabs his hand as they leave the office and that turns into her hugging his leg as he locks up before taking her hand again. Niall lets her skip as he walks next to her. How could her mum walk out on the two of them, he would never know. She was only a few months old and Niall was crushed... but he was more stressed out about how this would affect the tiny baby that now only relied on one person to care for her. Lily was the sweetest little girl and honestly, a perfect daughter. 

Her mother was missing out and wouldn't have the privilege to be in Lily's life. 

"Daddy! Here it is!" She claps her other small hand around the larger, calloused hand that was holding hers. 

Her excited voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Yes darling. It is." He grins at his daughter who was squealing and bouncing in place, hand gripping his more tightly. Niall chuckles and sees the ice cream trolley at the entrance of Hyde Park. "What do you want?" He asks as he leads her closer. 

She thinks, head resting against Niall's hip. "I think I want a drumstick, daddy." She nods and turns to press her face into his thigh before standing straight. 

Niall nods and order the drumstick and orders himself a magnum. He lets go of Lily's hand just for a moment to get his wallet out and try to find the notes that are shoved behind the picture of Lily. Niall thanks the gentlemen and takes the ice creams from him. "All right, Lil-" 

Every parent’s nightmare... his brunette daughter is not at his side. His heart pounds so hard he can keep count of how many beats are happening. His stomach sinks, he feels sick. "Lily!" He yells out, glancing around quickly. He chucks the ice creams down and looks around again. 

Niall tries to ignore the looks the other parents and children that are in line. He yells for her again before looking at the parents that are now holding their children closer to their sides. "Have ya seen her?" He can barely understand himself. His accent is coming out thick with the fear that is taking over his mind. "Smol, brown hair. Long. Blu' eyes. Wearing jean trousers and a pink jumper with a kit'en on it." He spits out as he walks backwards. All the parents shake their heads and Niall's starts a jog through the park, shouting Lily's name. 

-

The one downfall of this very independent four year old. She liked doing things by herself without necessarily checking with her father. Not because he would say no, but because she was _almost five years old thank you very much._

She had seen the ducks in the water from the spot at the ice cream trolley. She let her little legs carry her as fast as they would go she could to see the ducks and the ducklings in the water. 

-

You are reading and journaling simultaneously. You would always be grateful for the unlined, leather bound journal. You would read through the poems and if it made you feel deeper than just being neutral, you’d journal. 

This is your bench and your moment to take a break from the business of the world and your job of managing the bakery. 

You are pulled from you thoughts when there is a high-pitched squeal and giggles to follow. You glance up and see the child leaning close to the water, trying to touch the baby ducks. You roll your eyes and look around trying to find the adult that is responsible for watching her. 

There is nobody really around and that causes worry to seed in your chest. "Hey, you," you call to the wild haired brunette. "Come away from the water a bit." 

She snaps her head back to you, blue eyes regarding him carefully. "You're not me boss." Her accent is predominately English but you detect a hint of something else. Most likely Irish with how defiant she seems.

"I'm not," you lament, "but if you fall in, your father or mum would not be happy and your kitten sweater would be ruined." You point out and your brows come up. "I have some bread you can feed them. But you need to come away from the edge to do so." You put your stuff in his messenger back and pulls out the old bread from the bakery. 

"Daddy's told me not to talk to strangers." She responds with a scornful look towards you. 

You nod, "Very good then. But don't sit close to the edge." You come over and drop the bread near her and go back to your bench, eyes on her as you pull out your phone to call the police to report a lost child. "Where's your mum?" You call to her as you dial. 

"I dunno. Somewhere in Ireland I 'spose." She keeps feeding the crusts and bits of bread to all the ducks, humming to herself. 

You frown. "Okay... what about your dad, hm?" You ask as you start to call. 

"He was... getting ice cream for us." She stands up and looks towards where the trolley was. "He's not there." She says a bit surprised before a worried look took over her features. "Daddy?!" She calls out, tears filling her blue eyes and she walks to the bench. 

You frown a bit. "What's your daddy's name?" You ask as he starts to speak to the dispatch on the other end. "Hi yes. I have a four or five year old girl who left her father at the park and we can't find him. We are at-" 

Lily tunes you out and stands on the bench and starts to scream out for Niall, "daddy" is echoing through the park. People are turning and looking, you blush and keep speaking into the phone, giving the person as many details. 

 

Niall is sweating from the nerves and how fast he is sprinting around the park yelling out Lily's name. He pauses when he hears that shrill little voice. He straightens and listens carefully before taking off towards the scared voice, he could hear the fear in her strong voice. He thanks god for the set of lungs that she has. He sees her on the bench, tears on her cheeks. Niall takes into account the woman on the phone hushing her. Niall's eyes narrowed and he sprints to her and Lily held her arms open for Niall, actually sobbing now, not able to scream anymore. 

"I got ya, I got ya." He scoops up his small daughter who seemed to shrink in size as he held her. Sweat trickles down his neck and down his spine. He has his daughter and she is safe. 

"Oh the father found her. No need to send anyone. Yes I'm sure. Okay. Okay. Thank you." You hang up and looks at the adult, male version of the girl that is so defiant. "She came down to see the ducks. Almost fell in. I was calling emergency to come." You explain worried how it would come off that the little girl was screaming so loudly for him and crying on a bench next to a stranger nobody knew. 

Niall regards you with narrowed eyes before nodding. He could never be too careful. "Thanks." He pants, tightening his hold on his little girl. "She's pretty independent." Niall mumbles and rubs his back of the still crying Lily. 

"I'm sorry daddy," she hiccups and presses closer.

You clear your throat. "Dunno if you are planning on staying, I can't imagine so. But I have a bunch bread for the ducks you guys can have. I have to run." You stand and set the paper bag on the bench and pack your messenger bag to leave. 

Niall thanks you and just takes the bag. "Thanks for calling emergency too. I was scared." He says and shifts Lily to his hip. 

"Don't worry about it. It's something any decent human should do." You sling the leather messenger over your shoulder and smile at the two of them and wave before leaving. 

Niall starts to whisper gentle reprimands in Lily's ear as they walk the opposite way back to his car. She needed to understand that that wasn't okay and she was all ready distraught as is.  

-

"I want chocolate and raspberries and more chocolate." Lily muses with her head on Niall's stomach as he writes down the ideas she is talking about for her party. "Oh! And pink. I want pink balloons, flowers, and, and, and-" she takes a breath as she speaks excitedly, "Diamonds! Princess theme daddy!" 

Niall chuckles. "I thought as much, petal," he circles the word princess. "Daddy will make sure you have the most princess-y-est birthday ever." He runs his fingers through her damp hair. 

"You have to dress up as my prince, daddy." She looks up at him and nods, seriousness in her big blue eyes. 

"Can't daddy be the king? This is our castle after all." He gestures around the flat. 

She thinks for a moment, "Fine, but you're my king." She nods. 

Niall smiles softly. "Just like you're my princess. Always." He says softly and sets the notebook aside and pulls her up to cuddle before singing to her as he stands and carries her to bed. He finishes her song and kisses her head and turns on her night light before going to sit on the couch with a bottle of Guinness and the match he had missed earlier playing. 

All ready to be five, where did the time go?

-

He had arranged for the day off so he could stay home and decorate, letting her sleep in. Last year of pre-k before kindergarten, Niall isn't even close to being ready-Lily is his little flower. 

Niall had bought her a special princess-like dress for the day and an actual princess dress for her party, tiara with paste jewels and all. Pink streamers and pink balloons (he and Liam spent the entire evening blowing up by mouth) are scattered around the entire house as well. He had gotten a giant silver helium 5 for her chair which he had decorated to look like a throne. Pancakes dyed pink with sprinkles were waiting for her on her plate, a sparkly cup for her morning milk. 

Nobody could ever say that he didn't love his daughter. She would be always the number one lady in his life. 

He got his guitar, let Liam and Sophia in with their pups and started to play his guitar as loud as he could, the three of them singing a loud Happy Birthday as they entered her birthday. He let Sophia bring in the crown. 

She sits up straight in her bed, her sleepy eyes sparkling as she grins tiredly at her people. "G'morning daddy." She yawns hugely and Niall strums his guitar quickly as they finish the song and he puts aside his guitar with the pink streamers hanging off of it.  

Niall gives his daughter a tight hug and kiss to her forehead before Liam lets go of the dogs and they jump on her bed and cover them both in kisses. Niall groans and gets off the bed and Sophia comes over to put the crown on her head. "Princess Horan, today I am going to take you to get the princess treatment. Hair done, nails done. Just me and you!" 

Lily touches the crown on her head and her eyes widen in amazement. It is enough time for Niall to make the final touches for the party. 

"This is the best day ever! C’mon Auntie Phi-Phi!" She jumps out of bed and gives a quick hug to Liam before rushing out of the room, scream giggling at all the balloons and streamers. 

So far so good.

-

You come into work for the day and started to assign cakes to everyone. 

One of the newer guys, Taylor, is on the edge of being fired.  He shamelessly flirts with you, no matter the entire bakery knows you don’t date your employees and he keeps fucking up the cakes. 

Blondes.

"Oh for fucks sakes! Swift, get in here!" You snap and look at the cake that is basically mush at this point. 

He comes in, her blue eyes sparkling and lips turned up in a smile, excited his boss was calling him back. 

"What the bloody fuck is this?" You gesture to the smooshed cake. 

He raises her brows, "I-I dunno." 

"Did you not make this yesterday?" You ask, arching a single brow, twisting a ring on your finger. 

"I did." He answers, running his finger through his hair. 

"Then what the fuck happened?" You snap and fold your arms. 

"I don't know Harry, I'm sorry." He pouts. 

You just shake your head and sigh. "You're done. Just go. Now I have to rebake and tell them I'm going to deliver because it won't be ready by the time we said we would've done with it." You are livid, "Just. Take your things and go. I'll have your last check put in the post, okay? Now get out." 

He blinks twice before stiffly leaving the fridge and leaves his apron on the counter. 

You curse to yourself and toss the cake. You look at the ticket again. Chocolate fudge frosting, raspberry filling, sparkles, and 'Happy Birthday Princess Lily' in pink frosting. 

A simple fucking cake. You shake your head and pull down mixing bowls and get to work. 

Half way through you call the buyer to explain how you had to drop it off. "Hello, this is Y/N with All About that Cake Bakery and there was a mishap with the cake so it won't be ready at the time you were given. But I will personally deliver it to your home." 

There is a sigh on the other side. "Please before three or I'll have an army of angry four and five year olds." 

Distinctly Irish. 

You giggle, "I totally wouldn't want that for ya mate. I'll have it there as soon as I finish it." 

"Thank you, see you soon." 

The phone clicks and you set to work, cursing Taylor in your head the entire time. 

-

His daughter came back with her hair down up with her tiara set in it. She got pink sparkly nail polish on her toes and nails. And against Niall's wishes, Sophia got some pink lip-gloss on her lips. He just shook his head and had Sophia change her into the pink princess dress he got for the occasion. 

Liam and Niall spent the day picking up the finger foods for the kids and setting up the goody bags. 

At twenty till three, parents started to show up with their children slowly filling Niall's flat. 

"Where the fuck is that bloody princess cake at?" Niall mutters to Liam, tugging at his sash. He had found a prince costume that made Lily squeal in delight when she saw it. 

_"Like a real king daddy!" She clapped, her eyes sparkled._

_"I am a real king because you're a real princess." He murmured and let Sophia take pictures before the party._

Liam bites his lip and shrugs. "Want me to step out and make a call?" 

Niall glances at his watch. Cake was supposed to be at 430 and it was creeping up on four. "Give it fifteen more minutes and call in." 

-

You fucked up the first cake. You were so wrapped in your thoughts that your added too much sugar and the cake just... wasn't up to your standards. 

But now you were late, cake in the box and carefully secured in the back of your car. You drive as carefully but quickly as your can, it was almost four and you had promised the man you’d be there at three. 

At a few minutes after four, you are impatiently standing in the lift waiting for the doors open. Your eyes stare at the numbers until they got to the floor. You knock on the door and you can hear music from kid movies playing and a lot of screaming and laughter. 

You smile at the man who opens the door before you almost dropped the cake. 

It was the man who had lost his child. 

But this time, he isn't sweaty, angry and panicked looking, and he's dressed as a prince. You feel a familiar tug in your stomach. 

_He is handsome._

Niall smiles before his eyes widen, "You're the woman from the park!" He says, a different sort of smile lighting up his face. "Shite, love, come on in." He opens the door. "There's a cake stand on the table." 

Niall watches you walk in. This time is different than that first run in. Niall is able to really look at you. 

Niall shuts the door and follows you into the home and watches you place the cake on the stand and a look of pride that takes over your face. 

You look up and smile at Niall, "There we go!" 

Niall comes over and nods. "It's lovely. Lily is going to love it!"

A faint blush works its way over your cheeks. "Ya sure? I don't know if I put enough sparkles on it." You laugh a bit and look at the cake. 

"She's five. Not hard to impress. But I'm always extremely impressed with it. It looks like a real princess cake." Niall grins and calls for Lily. 

She comes skipping in with her friends. "Daddy! My cake! It's perfect!" She gasps and steps up to table. "I love it!" 

"Be sure to say thank you to ah-oh sorry, what did you say your name was?" Niall looks at you. 

"I'm Y/N." You say with a slight smile. 

"Thank Miss Y/N for your cake." Niall squats and rubs Lily's back. 

"Daddy, that's the lady from the park!" Lily widens her eyes. "She made my cake?!" 

"Yes darling. Now say thank you." Niall murmurs and kisses the side of her head. 

"Thank you Miss Y/N, it's perfect!" She smiles shyly and claps. 

"You're welcome, I'm glad you like it. Anything for a princess on her birthday!" You smile at her. 

She turns and buries her face in Niall's chest shyly. "Go play. Cake soon darling." He pats her bum and she runs off. "Feel free to help yourself to some of the food. We have a lot here." Niall waved his hand. 

Sophia comes over and glances at the cake. "It's finally here! Great. It looks awesome!" Her arm drapes lazily over Niall. 

You smile a bit tightly. Of course the blue-eyed brunette is taken by this gorgeous girl. But as soon as you were ready to write Niall off as a loss, taller brunette with the quiff comes over and wraps his arms around her waist, resting his head against her shoulder. 

"The cake looks lovely. Did you decorate it?" Liam asks and looks at you. Sophia shifts off of Niall and hugs the the man back, kissing his cheek. 

"I did yeah. I own the bakery." You smile. "The girl messed up the first cake and I baked and decorated this myself." You sigh and look at the cake for a moment, not feeling the blue eye stare from Niall. 

"I bet it tastes as good as it looks!" Sophia smiles and nods. 

"You all look great, by the way!" You gesture to the three adults. Liam was dressed as a prince but not as nicely as Niall was and Sophia is also dressed as a princess. "Wish I could have gotten the memo!" You laugh. 

Liam shakes his head. "Things we do for our best mates, yeah?" He adjusts his sash as Sophia laughs and smoothes out her dress. 

"Y/N, would you like a plate?" Niall asks. "I got catering and obviously the kids aren't going to eat it all. Please feel free to help yourself." He smiles. 

You swallow and shrug. "Oh I don't want to be any-" 

Lily comes over with a crown. "This is for you for bringing the royal cake!" She smiles up at you. 

You squat down and smile at her. "Oh my. Thank you." You bow your head slightly and she places it carefully poised it on your head. 

"You're welcome!" She smiles. "Just like a princess!" She sighs and claps. 

Niall comes over and puts his hand on her waist. "Princess, go get your friends. It's time to sing happy birthday." He murmurs and kisses the side of her head. 

She smiles and skips off. Niall and you meet eyes and you notes the colour on his cheeks as does Niall of yours. "Sorry. She's a very forward and independent girl."

"No it's okay. Don't be sorry. She is very funny and her independence is admirable." You says, your eyes on Niall's. "She's seems great." 

"She is." Niall smiles and looks away flushing at the praise for his daughter. 

After a moment you both stand up and Liam and Sophia are studying the two of you, whispering to each other. 

Lily and all the other children file in, giggling and screaming. Parents were still milling about, watching the fun the kids were having. 

"Please stay if you can. You've been crowned by the princess." Niall says before turning to the kids. "Okay! Let the king grab his guitar and we will sing to our princess before we feast on cake!" 

You stand back and glance to Sophia and Liam. Sophia hands you a pink paper plate with a smile and you nod before going to load it up with the food. You lean against the counter and watch Niall hold up the decorated guitar and start to strum and sing Happy Birthday. You are a bit in awe at the Irishman's voice and couldn't stop the smile as all the kids sang. 

-

Everyone had gone home but Liam, Sophia, and you.  You offered to help clean up and wouldn't take no for an answer. 

"We will leave the balloons and streamers up and her chair decorated for the rest of the weak." Niall murmurs as he takes all the wrapped presents into the living room for her to open tomorrow. 

You are picking up random food plates around the flat, Liam is cleaning the kitchen, while Sophia washes dishes. Sophia and Liam agree and you just keep quiet, just making sure everything is picked up. 

-

After everything is picked up, the four adults properly exhausted. Niall changes into trackies and a tshirt along with Liam and Sophia. "Okay guys, let me get you each a beer. Sophia and Y/N, I have wine for you. Then I'll let you all be on your way." He murmurs and grabs three bottles from the fridge and pulls down a wine glass. 

“Could I have a beer instead?” You ask shyly and Niall nods.

You stand there a bit awkwardly but actively conversing with Liam and Sophia. 

It is all casual and not forced. 

Niall hands you and Liam a beer and the wine to Sophia. "That was the most successful birthday party thus far." Niall yawns and takes a long gulp from his bottle. 

Liam nods and Sophia shrugs. "I liked the three year old party. There was like. Two kids and no real theme." 

"For a theme party, Soph." Niall sticks his tongue out at her. "And Y/N, thank you so much for helping out. You honestly didn't need to at all." 

You shrug. "After being crowned, couldn't very well leave now could I?" 

Niall chuckles, “Rightly so!” He smiles.

 

Niall and you walk with Sophia and Liam to their car and Niall hugs them both, promising them a dinner out to say thank you. 

You shake Liam's hand and Sophia pulls you in for a hug. 

Niall walks you to your car. "I really, really appreciate it." Niall's says again. "Helping clean up and delivering the cake. I'm sorry the guy messed it up initially." 

You shrug, "Not your fault. He needed to be fired and it gave me a good reason to do so.” You bite your lip for a moment, “Lily is one of the cutest kids I've ever seen." You smile.

Niall glances at you and smiles, “I’m glad to hear that.” He murmurs.

Niall looks to the flat. He knows Lily is asleep at home and he isn't more than thirty feet from the flat building.

You nod. "I know you need to get back inside. So I'm going to be frank. I would like to see you again." You chew on your lip. 

Niall blushes deeply and nods. "I would like that too."

"If you want Lily to come, that is fine." You smile. 

His heart warms and he nods. "That really means a lot."

"I want to get to know you. And I know she's your life too. So. Package deal. It's not a date, just hanging out for now." You explain softly. 

Slow. Like the way Niall likes it. "Great." Niall hands you his phone. "Ring yourself and we can plan something." 

You put his number into the phone and call yourself. "Sounds good, Niall. See you around." You smile and get in your car. 

"Let me know when you get home." Niall waves and waits until you’re buckled up before walking inside. His phone buzzes and his heart jumps. It is just Liam. 

' _Did you score her digits?_ ' 

Niall rolls his eyes, ' _What makes you think I did?_ ' 

' _You two were obviously into each other’_

' _I did. Now leave me alone_.' 

'


	57. Starving Perfection

_**Trigger Warning:**   **Extreme**  Eating Disorder Scenes (including vomit, force feeding, hospital scene, self hatred)_

You wipe your chin from staring at the now orange tinted water, ignoring the chunks at the bottom. You flush quickly and and lean against the tub, head tilted back to look up at the ceiling. Anything to avoid looking at your stupidly big thighs.

_One thousand one. One thousand two. One thousand three._

_Up._

You stand up and brush your teeth quickly and wash your hands from the vomit and salvia.  You check your glittering watch.

Twenty minutes to go and he’d be home

-

You head downstairs and grab a slice of the pizza you just finished purging. You bite and chew. You fight the want of your stomach begging you to swallow.  _Skinny_. You spit out the chewed up food into the garbage disposal. You finish the pizza, ignoring the shaking of rumbles in your stomach, each bite going down the disposal.

Now your breath didn’t smell like you freshly brushed. He wouldn’t taste it when he kisses you.

You finish the roast dinner and potatoes for Niall, humming softly, trying to ignore the pounding in your head.

He fell in love with you at this weight. You had to stay here at this weight.

He is already ready to leave you. You gained so much fucking weight.

You blink back your tears as you set table for two, knowing full well you’d have water and the celery from the stupid roast.

-

Niall sings to the radio as he drives home, excited to come home to you. He hated that you had the day off and he couldn’t manage to get it either. But that was almost perfect because you managed to cook the most incredible meals.

He parks in the garage and comes in, taking a deep inhale of the flavours that were in the house. “Darlin’ I’m home.” His voice carries through the comfortable sized home.

“Welcome home, baby!” You call a back, cracking a Guinness for him.  _Too many carbs-empty. All of it._

He comes in and smiles at you, putting the beer on the counter and giving you a loving kiss, wrapping his arms around your almost too small frame. He loves that you’d rather wear his oversized hoodie and sweats. It is nice to see his best girl comfortable in his clothes.

“Did you all ready eat?” He pouts and kisses you again, tasting the pizza on your lips.

You blush. “I was so hungry. I’m sorry. But I made you roast.” You smile and rub his sides gently.

“I can smell. It smells lovely, my little chef.” He smiles and kisses your forehead before picking up his beer again. He sips on it as you finish serving the plates.

The sweatshirt slips off one shoulder, exposing the soft skin to him. He looks at it for a moment and a soft frown touches his face. Your bone was pretty predominate. He comes over and stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing the sharp spot where your bone was protruding. “I think you’re so beautiful you know?” He asks softly and rubs your hips.

Your sharp hips.

While he touches you, you try to not wiggle out of his grasp. He is touching all this fat and fuck. He is going to leave you once he realises you’re a fucking whale.

You finesse your way out of the cuddle. “Save the touches for the bedroom.” You giggle and peck the tip of his nose. You sit down and he takes the seat across from you. “How was work today?” You ask, nibbling on the carrots that were on your plate.

He digs in right away, his eyes focused on his plate.

You squish a lot of your vegetables due to how soft they are. When you have a chance, you shove them into your napkin. Cleared plate, water empty.

Water is important. It makes you feel full and is you drunk too much of it, it’s easily thrown up. Doesn’t hurt.

Niall finishes and you get up to grab him another beer, tossing the napkin of food in the trash can. You crack the bottle and bring it to him and he pulls you into his lap. “So my darling. What did you do with your day off?” He asks with a smile, kisses along your neck and on your cheek.

You lean into him and hum for a moment. “I cleaned the house, changed the sheets, did laundry.” You nod and rub his arm. “Worked out.” You shrug. That took up four hours of your morning. On your days of work you worked out between projects in your office along with the gym afterwards.

“How was the work out?” He asks and bites at the sweet spot on your neck.

You shiver and shift to stand up before straddling him down to the chair. “It was good.” You smile, leaning in to kiss him, hands on his cheeks.

His hands go to grip your ass, a soft hum coming from him.

“Dessert?” He smirks and starts hungry kisses down your neck.

“Yes.” You breathe out.

Niall carries you, the light feather you were, straight up to your guys’ room. He lays you in the fresh covers and kisses you roughly.

“Light.” You gasp out, breaking the kiss.

He groans but gets up to turn off the light as you carefully undressed, getting under the covers.

He had seen you naked before. But the mirror on the side of the room made you sick when you saw yourself naked. Let alone fucked or made love… you knew you’d throw up.

You hated when he carried you. You were so fucking heavy, you were thankful he was so strong. But he was only strong because he had to carry your fat ass up the stairs.

You try not to dwell on it as Niall gets into bed, kissing you. You wrap your legs around his waist and hold him close.

-

Niall is laying next to you, his fingers trailing along your arm gently, a smile on his lips, hair sexed up.

“Want to put on the footie match before you miss too much?” You ask, shifting to lay on your stomach and pushing your fingers through his mussed locks.

“Fuck what did I do to get such a girl?” He grins and leans in to kiss you lightly. “Come watch with me please.” He murmurs and gets out of bed and pulls on boxers and hands you his sweater from earlier. “Forget the panties.” He winks and you blush, pulling on the sweater.

**

Your alarm goes off and your turn it off quickly. You glance at Niall and smile as he doesn’t move. You lean in and give him a gentle kiss and go to take a shower.

You pull the scale out and strip down. You try to avoid looking in the mirror. You didn’t need to see the fat sagging your body down.

You look at the number.

100.

You try to blink back tears. Triple digits. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK. You were under 5'5 you should be within the double digits.

88 was your goal. And it was so far off. You get into the shower and cry silently. You had ten minutes to get your shit together then you had to head to work and then go to the gym and then make dinner for Niall.

You get out, shit together as you get dressed. Slacks and a button down, hair pulled back in a pony tail. You head down and make Niall lunch for work with a note. You eat two slices of apple and take your iced green tea as you head out the door.

Starve until you’re perfect.

-

You usually ate the rest of the apple for lunch along with half a granola bar. So you forgo the granola bar and just chug water.

You did countless squats, wall sits, and leg lifts through your day.

Once you go to the gym, you spend an extra hour there then usual.

Cardio. Running. Sweating.

You ignored the dizziness in your head.

For dinner you had half a granola bar and mentally prepared yourself to purge whatever meal you’d be making for Niall.

’ _Baby, what do you want for dinner?_ ’ You text Niall as you shut the garage.

’ _Can you make chili?_ ’

’ _Not good for your acid reflux._ ’

’ _Fiiiiiiine :( grilled chicken and greens?_ ’

’ _Of course darling. Anything for you x_ ’ You head inside and start to cook for Niall, ignoring the growing growl in your stomach and the salivating of your mouth.

Like clock work, Niall walks in, you hand him his beer with a kiss and dinner starts.

You eat.

And you’re in heaven. It’s the best fucking thing you’ve ever tasted.

Not because you’re a good cook.

But because you’re fucking starving. Literally.

 _Good_ , you think, you were always eating. No wonder you were a fat ass.  _Oink, oink_.

“Babe?” Niall looks at you, brows coming up. He has been talking at you for the last couple of minutes and all you were doing was staring intently at your plate before muttering an ‘oink’.

You look intently at Niall, “Yeah?” You ask and raise your brows.

“Why did you say oink?” He chuckles a bit and reaches his hand over to hold yours.

You squeeze his face, flushing. “I was lost in thought, love.” You force a laugh and shrug.

“About pigs?” His brows come up.

You giggle again, blushing a deeper red. “Yes,”

“How-”

“I don’t even know darling.” You shake your head. “Are you done?” You ask and stand to take your plate.

When he nods you take his plate as well. “Thanks sugar bum. I’m going to take a shower.” He murmurs and clears the rest of the table. “Care to join me?” He asks and wraps his arms around your waist, squeezing you close.

You could feel his hands digging into your fat. You turn and look at him. “I need to clean up down here. But I’ll come up and suck your dick on the balcony before bed.” You bargain, smiling sweetly at him.

He pretends to think for a moment, “Okay, okay. Thank you for dinner. I’m so lucky to have you.” He murmurs and leans in to give you a loving kiss, his arms squeezing you gently in a hug.

You kiss him back, hands delicately resting on his shoulders.

You felt loved, appreciated, and adored by Niall. All very undeservingly.

He deserved someone skinny and pretty and smart and-and-and… so much better.

He kisses the tip of your nose before kissing your forehead and going upstairs to shower. You patiently wait for the shower to start and his singing to pick up before finishing the dishes.

You stare into the clean, porcelain sink. You take a deep breath, mouth all ready watering-your body anticipating this purge all ready.

You shove the freshly washed spoon down your throat, really moving it around. You almost trained yourself to have little to no gag reflex. You needed to trigger it and it usually meant a sore throat from banging the spoon around.

-

You spray out the sink and wash it quickly. You put a couple slices of lemon in the disposal and grind it away. Not a whiff of puke could be detected.

You sprint up the stairs and change quickly into your pajamas before going into the bathroom as Niall turns off the water. You start to brush and smile as he gets out.

“Want to watch a movie tonight?” He asks, coming to kiss your sweater covered shoulder.

You nod before to rinsing your mouth out. “Sounds good.” You smile at him as he tosses the towel on the rack to dry. He struts out of the bathroom towards the walk in, making his moves exaggerated. You roll your eyes but don’t take your eyes off his peach of a bum.

How you got such a perfect man to love such an ugly creature, you’d always be dumbfounded.

It truly was Beauty and the Beast.

* * *

You always dreaded summer. The shorts, the tanks, the bikinis, all of it.

Niall on the other hand was wild for it. He loved it-especially because your freckles came out and you always had lightly pinked cheeks from the sun.

He is buzzing on his drive home, he has resisted every urge to call you and tell you the exciting news he had.

He got two tickets to Glastonbury from his boss. Working as a sound technician really had its perks and he was happy it paid off for this reason.

Once he’s home, he runs inside, “Y/N! Y/N?! Baby! Where are youuuuu?!” He calls out loudly, running upstairs.

You were rinsing your mouth out with listerine. You went a bIt wild at your 'snack time’ and ended up eating all the left overs. You spit and start to wash your hands as you hear Niall calling for you.

“In the loo!” You call back, thinking about the number on the scale in the back of your mind. You lost ten pounds through the spring.

Thank fucking god.

Niall waits outside the bathroom, bouncing on his toes. He grins when he sees you open the door. “Guess who got us two tickets to GLASTONBURY!” He yells and picks you up and spins you around.

He had noticed you getting a bit bonier but he also knew you worked out a lot. You were shorter so he knew you would be smaller. He didn’t like mentioning it because the last time he mentioned weight, it sparked an argument that lasted a few days.

But he saw you eating at dinners and you took your lunch box everyday. So he knew you were eating. Maybe it was just your natural body shape?

“Yay! That’s going to be fun! Shall I look into hotels for us?” You ask and kiss his face all over.

It was a bit odd, through the spring time you didn’t shower or take baths with him like you had done so before and you always undressed in the bathroom. Maybe you were upset with him? But your sex life was mostly the same. He didn’t get it.

“Please, darling.” He murmurs and kisses you on the lips lightly. “Let’s go out to dinner? To celebrate?!” He grins and searches your eyes.

You smile, fighting the anger in your heart st this. You hated throwing up meals from when he took you to dinner. You were only two pounds away from your goal. You could treat yourself this one time. “Yes lets go eat. Let me change into something.”

He grins and kisses you again.

* * *

Niall kept looking at you as you two walk into Glastonbury.

You were wearing a tank top and bralette with shorts. These shorts used to be a bit snug but he loved it because your ass looked like a fucking snack. But now they were barely on your hips, the belt was drawn tight. Your knees protruded a bit. But what was the most concerning was the tank top. It was cut up and he could literally count your ribs and the vertebrae.

You had only had a fruit and greens smoothie for breakfast while he ate a full breakfast.

He leans in and kisses your temple, his worry for you steadily increasing.

-

You were walking into your next concert, holding onto each other’s hands tightly.

Your head was pounding and your stomach was hurting. Anytime you cheered too loudly you felt as if you were going to pass out.

You pull Niall closer and rest your head against his shoulder. You feel his lips brush your forehead and you saw black dots sprinkle across your vision.

Niall noticed you walking slowly but determined. You weren’t entirely enthusiastic with being there but you had no problem dancing with him. But you just stuck to clapping instead of cheering.

When you rested your head on his shoulder, he suggested to get something to eat but no response to you. He looks down at you, concern forming in his eyes. Your eyes were empty and they were slowly closing. “Y/N?” He pauses and you faint right there in front of him. He catches you before you slam into the dirt. “Help! We need a medic!” Niall yells out and kneels down, putting your head in his lap. “Help!” He calls out and a lady standing in the crowd runs to get a medic. He brushes hair out of your face, saying your name over and over, trying to wake you up.

The medics come over, carrying a board to strap you into. They ask for your name and basic medical questions.

They get you to a tent and hook you up to an IV. “We don’t think it’s dehydration. We think it’s exhaustion. How much does she weigh?” He asks and presses the stethoscope to your chest. Your heart was fluttering from overworking. The medic makes a note and looks at Niall.

“I dunno 110?” He says nervously, hand holding yours tightly.

“No way in hell. With how protruding her collarbones are and sunken in her cheeks are? This woman is emaciated. We need to get her to the hospital now.” He calls for a dispatch.

Niall runs his fingers through his hair, anxiety starting to push in on him. “Emaciated?”

“Does she have a history of eating disorders?” The medic says and puts a blanket over you.

“Eating disorder? No. She eats all the time. We have dinner together every night.” Niall shakes his head, eyes on your too thin legs and sharp bones protruding out of your shoulders.

The girl he fell in love with was wasted away, gone. His heart was hurting for you. You were his best friend and the love of his life, and you were half starved? Was he such an idiot to not see you literally wasting away in front of his eyes? How could he be so ignorant? “I’m so sorry.” He whispers and kisses your bony knuckles. “So so sorry my love.” He smooths your hair back again and the ambulance has come and he gets in the back with you, hand staying tight in yours. “Are you going to wake her?” Niall asks softly.

“No. We need to get a feeding tube in her first. She’ll fight it tooth and nail.” The EMT says as he takes down more vitals. “Especially if she is battling an eating disorder…”

Niall nods and just watches you carefully. “How long will she be out?” He asks, not looking from you.

“We aren’t too sure, but her vitals are stable.” The EMT mutters and watches Niall.

Niall kisses your knuckles gently again and sighs.

“She’ll be put in a psych ward after she gets stabalized in weight.” The EMT warns.

Niall blinks back the tears and nods.

-

It was the morning after when you finally come to. You blink and look around, confused. It was a bit hard to breathe. You bring your hand to your face, a feeding tube was in your nose, you could feel it. You glance down and see the needle in your hand, and firm, warm hand holding onto yours.

Your panic settles a bit. It is Niall sleeping, hand in yours. His head resting against the bed and your hip. You reach over with your free hand and stroke his hair gently.

He stirs a bit and settles again. You reach up and call for a nurse, still feeling like you were choking on this obvious tube they had shoved up your nose.

You blink a couple of times. Tube up your nose.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK_. They were feeding you. Your heart monitor picks up and you let go of Niall’s hand to tug at the tube.

Niall wakes up a bit and a nurse comes in, running over to you.

Niall pins your hands down gently. “No, Y/N. You need it.” He says gently and the nurse comes over to gently explain everything to you.

“The doctor has diagnosed you as anorexic as well as bulimic due to the state of your mouth and oesophagus. You will be admitted to psychiatric care once a certain level of weight is reached.”

Your eyes fill with tears. They wanted you to be fat. Even Niall.

“Darling, please don’t cry.” He begs softly. “I’ll be here until the move you and I’ll visit when you’re allowed visitors. But you need this.” His eyes glossed over with tears. “Please, my love. You’re at least 35 pounds under weight. You’re going to end up worse and-and-and I can’t lose you.” Tears slip down Niall’s cheeks. “I love you. So much. Please.” He begs softly.

You pull out of his weak hold and wipe the tears from his cheeks. You nod a bit, hands cupping his cheeks.

Niall sniffles and turns his face so he can kiss the palm of your hand. “I’m here for you through this baby. But you need to do this for you. Not me.”

You blink and nod again. Seeing Niall cry killed you. But being fat was even worse. You’d play along for as long as you could.

Then you would lose the weight again. You were all ready massive.

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, so you just nod again.

He wipes his tears and kisses your forehead before kissing your palms.

-

You were forcing down each meal. They were just smoothies. But they had the same calorie content as normal meals and that killed you.

Niall was there through every meal, lovingly and encouraging you through the smoothie.

Today you had to go and be admitted to the psychiatric ward.

“I love you. I am here for you. I won’t be leaving you.” He says softly, hands cupping your cheeks. They were still hallow and thin still and it killed Niall. But you looked to have have a bit more energy about you. Which made him feel better.

You were tearing up, sniffing.

“Darling petal. Don’t cry.” He whispers and kisses your nose.

That pushed you over the edge. You weren’t a petal, you weren’t delicate, or pretty, or soft. You start to sob uncontrollably.  

He wraps his arms around you and sings softly. That doesn’t help. You sob harder and cover your face.

The doctors pull you off of him and pull you towards the elevator. You see Niall wipe his face and waves before blowing you kisses with choruses of 'I love you’.

-

90 days later. You were 120 pounds. Ten to fifteen under what they wanted you to be. You would be checking in with your therapist monthly and if you were losing too much weight.

Over the last three months, Niall went through his own classes. The classes helped him learn how to be able to best help you and to notice if you were relapsing.

Niall was anxiously waiting in the lobby, hands full of flowers and a balloons. You were coming home and he couldn’t be anymore excited for this moment. He had seen you as often as he could and as often as you would let him.

You were nervous. You put on the clothes Niall had brought for you. Simple leggings and a tank top with a zip up hoodie.

Your hair had gotten a bit thicker and you combed it back and tied it up into a high pony tail. Your eyes searched the figure in the mirror.

You were so fat.

You run your finger along the line of your jaw and down onto your shoulder and along the fat covering your bones.

Niall was going to leave you soon enough. He would see the monster that you really were and wouldn’t want you anymore. And you wouldn’t blame him.  

You walk out carefully, clutching your bag of little belongings.

Niall was watching the hall carefully, chewing the fuck out of his lip. He had bitten his nails down to the quick. He breathes out in relief when you walk out. You had filled out a bit more and his heart flutters and stomach flips.

You see Niall with balloons and flowers and you frown slightly.

This was too much.

“Y/N,” Niall smiles and wraps his arms around you, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You look so utterly beautiful.” He whispers and rubs your back gently.

You stay stiff in his arms, letting him hug you. “Can we go?” You ask as you pull away.

Niall nods. “Yeah of course darling.” He wraps his arm around your waist and leads you to the car. You were horrified he was touching you.

He buckles you in with a kiss to your cheek before driving the two of you home.

He has decorated the home with rose petals and made salad for dinner with chicken.  

He lights candles as he goes, leading you upstairs to a bubble bath.

Guilt wracked your entire body, why in the world would he do this for you. You didn’t deserve any of this.

“I’ll let you get undressed.” He murmurs and kisses your lips gently before disappearing.

You start to undress with shakey fingers. You go to glance in the mirror when you notice it’s covered with a scarf. You sigh and get into the bubble bath. “I’m in the bath.” You call out and Niall comes in.

“Hi.” He sits next to the tub. “How’s the water?”

“Perfect.” You murmur and play with a rose petal that was floating in the tub.

“You’re so beautiful.” He murmurs and rubs your cheek gently.

You turn your head away and sigh.

“You are. Now, may I bathe you?” He asks and holds up a sponge.

You blush deeply and nod. “If you want.”

He smiles and starts to wet your hair.

* * *

**Four Months Later**

You were five pounds away from being your typical weight for your size. You had many up and downs, the amount of fits you threw over meals… they were many and Niall was there through every single fit, episode, mini relapses.

Tonight was not any different.

You were glaring at the plate of food that was set in front of you. Chicken, asparagus, and mashed potatoes along with a dinner roll. You sniffle and shake your head. “No. Absolutely not.”

You had a couple weeks where your eating was fine. Between the smoothies and the meals Niall was making for you… meeting you at your office for lunch.

You had struggled to get out of bed, but you two were spending the day at home with a movie and then going out in the evening.

Dinner before you two went to the movies.  

“Darling, its chicken.” Niall nods, eyes on you. “We can eat it as slow as you need to.” He murmurs gently and rubs the back of your hand.

“No. I’m not eating.” You get up and get ready to storm away. Niall catches your hand and pulls you into his lap.

“Bite by bite.” He murmurs. “And you only have to eat half now.” He bargains, cutting up your food for you-small pieces.

“No.” You struggle and he keeps you snug in his lap.

“Y/N, eat half and we will eat half later. But you and I need to eat or we will miss out movie.” Niall points out.

You feel tears prick your eyes. “I’m fat. I shouldn’t eat this before we go out.”

“Have a bite.” He murmurs and holds the fork to your lips. You whimper and shake your head. “Eat the bite. I’ll eat one right after.” He soothes.

You take the bite, starting to actually cry. He rubs your side and takes his own bite, chewing with you. He waits until you swallow and calm down before offering you another bite.

You purse your lips and close your eyes, turning your head away from him.

He kisses your lips. “Another bite.” He wipes the tears from your face. “There’s not terribly many left, my love.” He murmurs.

After fighting tooth and nail, tears streaming, and cursing, half of the meal was eaten.

“Well done, my petal.” He soothes and kisses away the last bit of your tears. You hiccup, burying your face in his neck, embarrassed.

“Ready to go to the movies?” He asks softly and smiles, searching your eyes.

You nod, sniffing.

“Very well. Let’s go get you fixed up.” Niall stands and wraps his arm around your waist and leads you up the stairs. He gets a warm cloth and gently wipes your face free of mascara and snot. He didn’t mind it at all. You were eating and that was the most important thing to him at the moment.

-

Niall gets you both some waters and a box of candy to share. He notices you eat a couple and smiles to himself but doesn’t say anything.

You guys come home and you both sit down for the rest of the meal before cuffing into bed together.

“I’m sorry I am so difficult. You deserve so much more than this.” You whisper wiping your cheeks.

Niall runs his fingers through your hair. “You’re not being difficult. You’re going through a difficult time. And I love you. For you. For everything you are.” He nods, resting his forehead against yours.

“I love you.” You cry softly and Niall just holds you tightly. “I don’t deserve you.” You whisper.

“You deserve the world.” Niall whispers and lean in to kiss you lovingly.

You kiss him back and relaxing a bit.

Everything was good to be okay.

* * *

**One Year Later**

Niall came home, a grin on his lips, even though his heart was unsure and worried. He got another set of festival tickets.

You were doing so well. Therapy was slowly being stopped, doctors appointment weren’t as frequent, and you were close to a healthy weight.

You were cooking dinner and Niall just watches for a moment. “What’s cooking for tonight?”

“I’m making Sunday roast.” You murmur and turn to look at him.

“My favorite and it’s even better because…” he smirks a bit and raises his brows. “I got us festival tickets again.”

“Really?!” You ask excitedly. “Baby that’s great! It’s a celebration!” You clap and he comes over to wrap his arms around your waist.

“Indeed.” He leans in to kiss you. “Are you making biscuits?” He sniffs the air.

“What else would go with pot roast?” You ask and kiss his nose.

“Nothing else would be better.” Niall kisses you lightly.

“Ready to eat?” You ask and search his eyes.  

He nods and sets up the table, pouring a beer for himself. “Want a beer?”

“Please.” You murmur as you bring the food out to put on the table and serve the plates.

You both sit down and slowly eat. You chewed for a long while and you still didn’t eat a lot. But you were eating.

Niall smiles fondly at you as he eats.

“What?” You ask, blushing.

“You are fucking amazing. So fucking perfect.” Niall breathes out, kissing your fingers gently. “And I am lucky to have you.”

Perfect… You study his eyes for a moment. His opinion of you and your own is what really mattered. Starving to be perfect for others was a waste of time, emotion, and was killing you.

“I am too.” You smile softly.

This is good. This is healthy. This is happiness.

This is perfection.

* * *

* * *

_A/N; _Hey my petals! I just want to say that eating are not things that should be romanticized or taken lightly (I did by best to not do that in this). It’s something so many battle with and it’s very serious. I suffered from an eating disorder for my high school career and the first year or so of college-I still struggle with it reguaraly. But do not be afraid to reach out for help, it’s one of the hardest and bravest decisions you’ll ever make. Trust me. I believe in all of you. Be kind always, you never know what someone is going through. You all deserve to be healthy-always._   **[Eating Disorder Help](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fteenlineonline.org%2Fyouth-yellow-pages%2Feating-disorders%2F%3Fgclid%3DCjwKCAjwqIfLBRAkEiwAhtfH64DzAFB6dfraFg6ZAP7h9txyL9dJgvajoWZVQSMKyNRICja9YbFNIhoCN04QAvD_BwE&t=ZDBmMjllZjcwNWNmZDFiMGExNWZjY2FhYTQ3YTgwZjZjMzZiOTY0MSxEeFBnMUhiMA%3D%3D&b=t%3AwcQrLFm7rs2k6sFoVAbKFg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetniallofmine.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162958022323%2Fstarving-perfection&m=1)**_


	58. Pre-Show Rituals

You had your head resting against his shoulder, hand rubbing his thigh gently. “Nervous?” You ask softly and look up at him.

He glances down at you, “Me? Nervous?” He scoffs and kisses your forehead. “Absolutely not. Besides you’re gonna be there. How could I be?” He hums and covers your hand with his, squeezing your fingers.

You flush a bit and smile. “I’m glad I get to be  there to support you.” You murmur and lean in to kiss his chin gently.

He smiles and rests his head back. “Got me best girl, nothing can go wrong.” He murmurs and laces his fingers with yours.

* * *

Pulling up to the venue is wild as always-girls waiting, screaming. Niall watches the commotion while you focus on your catnap, cuddling into him. You heard the people through the windows. You sit up when the car slows and Niall smiles at you, leaning in to give you a kiss on your forehead.

He helps you out of the car and his hand is tight in yours as he leads you to the green room.

Pre-show cuddles.

His favourite and yours.

He lays with his head in your lap. You are slightly leaned over, eyes on his deep blues-both of you trying to keep the smiles back. You two were muttering sweet nothings back and forth.

_I love you._

_I love you more._

_You’re the light of my life._

_You make me so happy._

_I’m lucky to have you as mine._

_I’m yours always._

_You’re hot._

_You’re hotter._

_Can I have kiss?_

_You can have all the kisses._

You lean in to give him a light kiss on the lips, your hand resting on his soft tummy. One of your favourite parts of him (it was the best place to kiss).

He sighs against your lips and smiles. He doesn’t let you pull away, he pulls you in for another kiss. He lets out another sigh and kisses you a bit more deeply, slowly sitting up.

Your lips don’t break as he shifts to fully sit up. He pulls you closer, hand resting on your back.

You break the kiss so you can straddle him to the couch. Your lips find his and your fingers were tight in his hair, soft sounds of approval coming from both of you.

He squeezes your waist a bit more, pulling his kisses away from your mouth and trails them gently down your neck.

“Horan! You’re on!” There is a knock at the door and you both jump.

“Well got 10,000 people waiting for me.” He whispers and kisses you gently. “I gotta fix me hair.” He moves you from his lap and goes to the mirror and brushes his teeth quickly. He runs wax through his hair quickly before putting aftershave on.

He dashes out the door and your raise your brow slightly before shaking your head. You fix your hair and adjust your top before walking out of the room, heading down to the corral to watch.

Niall nods to the boys in the band before pausing. “Hold on.” He turns on his heel and runs back. “Y/N! Y/N!” He calls for you and smiles when he sees you waiting.

“Forgetting something?” You ask, winking at him.

He hums and shrugs, coming over. “I’m off to the stage now! Where’s my kiss?” He turns his head to bare his cheek to you.

You let out a soft hum at the smell of his aftershave and lean in to kiss his cheek, liking the feel of his light scruff against your lips and chin. “I love you. Now go.” You smile and pat his bum as he goes. He blows you a kiss and heads to the front and you walk down to side of the stage to watch him perform.

Pre show rituals were your favourite.


	59. All the Love || Narry

They came out and said their thanks and bowed. Niall clung to Harry a bit tighter in the hug.

Harry likes it. He feels at home in Niall’s arms. Not that he is ever admit that.

Niall feels the same, not like he would say that to Harry though. Or to anyone… except for Louis. Which seemed to be a bad judgement call on his part.

The person Niall feels closest to is Harry, his close second (aka the person he talked to about his feelings towards Harry) is Louis. Which isn’t a mistake but it isn’t easy on Niall and she should have known better.

Louis is constantly trying to meddle. His smirks last too long in Niall’s and Harry’s direction whenever Harry would do anything slightly affectionate towards Niall. All Niall could do is flip Louis off behind Harry’s back.

_

Louis huffs as he flops down on the green room’s couch. “Lads, I don’t think I can make it out tonight.”

Liam lays across Louis with a groan, squishing him into the couch. “I’m fucking knackered. That shit was top notch tonight.” He yawns, cuddling into the whining Louis.

Niall pouts a bit. “Oh c’mon lads.” He sits next to Harry, letting his head rest against Harry’s shoulder.

Harry glances down at the blonde, “I’m down to still go.”

Niall smiles, “There’s a lad!”

The other two were now wrestling because Louis is tired of being squished and Liam is letting himself be deadweight.

“I’ll let Paul know.” Harry pulls out his phone to send the message to Paul.

Niall picks at the thread on his jeans, eyes watching Harry’s long fingers. He bites into his lip, eyes tracing over the various tattoos and veins, gaze lingering on his long fingers.

Louis notices before Harry does and throws his sweaty balled up socks at Niall. Niall jumps and looks to Louis, glaring but knowing full well why sweaty socks were thrown at him.

“I’m going to shower up.” Harry stands and nods, heading towards the showers. Niall watches him walk off.

“I should too before we go out. Otherwise I would smell like Louis’ sweaty ass socks.” Niall laughs and follows Harry. Louis makes a noise and Niall glances back and shrugs.

_

Harry and Niall were in the club, arms wrapped around each other as they scream sing whatever bop was going on in the club. Their drinks are spilling over the rims of the glasses, soaking their fingers and making them sticky. They didn’t care that their  **£** 12 cocktails were soaking the floor.

They were having a good ass time and that was all that mattered.

Harry stops his liquor so he doesn’t puke his guts all out on the dance floor. And someone has to take care of dear Nialler—who didn’t look like he was stopping anytime soon.

Harry slowly sobered up and watched Niall dance with various girls and drink whatever was put into his hand (which was water most of the time courtesy of Harry).

Niall didn’t mean to get so fucked, he is just enjoying himself. Anytime a girl got too close, he would excuse himself for another drink. He isn’t looking at getting with a bird for the night, not when he had an evening with Harry to himself. Which technically isn’t to himself since he is sharing the time in a club with who knows how many others.

Niall watches Harry from the corner of his eye the entire time, briefly remembering him coming up to put another drink in his hands. Niall is that gone to not be able to tell it was water that he is chugging.

“Last call!” Niall glances towards the bar as the DJ calls it out over the speaker, his eyes trying hard to focus on where to settle his tab.

Niall is stumbling to the bar to either get another drink or close his tab. All that Harry knew was that Niall is a bit too fucked up to do more than one thing at a time.

Harry comes up and wraps his arm around Niall’s waist and chucks a few pounds down that would cover the tabs and leave a decent enough tip. “Let’s get home, yeah?” His words slip out slowly.

Niall blinks at him for a moment, “Home.” He slurs out and nods.

Harry hums and texts for the guards to come in. Niall leans heavily into Harry, face burying into his neck. He takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of Harry. “Haz.” Niall sighs out.

Harry doesn’t answer and tries to ignore the shiver down his spine. He just helps get Niall into the car and adjusts him so the his head is resting in his lap. His long fingers pushes through the blonde tufts. “You went hard tonight, mate.”

“‘m Irish, what else do ya expect.” Niall’s accent is thick and Harry can’t help but find it endearing.

“Nothing less.” He smiles and leans down and presses his lips gently against the drunk boy’s forehead.

Niall smiles, not sure if he’s asleep and dreaming or what, but he was enjoying this time. “Where we going?” His words come out sloppy.

“Home.” Harry soothes, his rings getting slightly caught in Niall’s hair.

Niall lets out a soft gasp and turns his face to press into Harry’s thigh. Harry apologizes and rubs Niall’s back. “Let’s just go to Niall’s. He’s going to need me there for the night.”

-

Niall is still every bit as drunk when they left the club as they are now as they pull up to the house.

Harry helps Niall out of the car and thanks the guards before half carrying Niall into the house. “Let’s get to your room.” Harry is half panting, trying to keep the stumbling and slurring Niall upright. “Get you into pajamas.” Harry breathes out.

“I sleep naked.” Niall laughs and flops onto the bed.

Harry puts his hands on his hips and looks at half passed out irishman. “Babe, you gotta at least take your jeans off.”

A frown slips over Niall’s face, “You—you’re so good to me.” He says easily, honestly.

Harry bites his cheek to keep from chuckling but he can’t keep the faint smile off his lips. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re comfortable to sleep.”

“Yeah, and tha’s… you’re so nice, so good,” Niall can’t stop his words from coming out. He nods to himself, “And I just love you. Do you know how much?”

Harry shakes his head, full on smiling at the irishman struggling to take off his skinny jeans laying in the bed.

“Ask me how much.” Niall prompts, stilling, drunkenly glazed eyes focusing hard on Harry.

“How much do you love me?” Harry asks, biting on his lip. The butterflies that filled his stomach makes him feel stupid. Niall is drunk, he didn’t know what he is saying.

Niall forces himself to sit up, he reaches out and takes Harry’s hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “All of it.” These words come out of Niall’s mouth solemnly… soberly.

A laugh comes from Harry, “All of what?” Harry can’t keep himself from rubbing the back of Niall’s hand with his thumb.

Niall pulls Harry closer to him, “The love, Harry,” Niall says simply, “All the love.”

Niall’s blue eyes stares hard into Harry’s, his hand staying tight on the ring clad fingers. He looks up at Harry, eyes dropping down to his stupidly moisturised lips.

Harry feels himself lick his lips as Niall stares at his lips. Niall tugs him closer, eyes moving back to Harry’s.

Harry feels his breath catch in his throat, “Ni…”  _Niall is drunk_ , he reminds himself.

“Haz,” Niall sways a bit as he stands, pulling Harry closer. Their chests touching, “I want to kiss you.” His words were soberly spoken. “Can I?” He asks, a bit unsure.

A slight nod comes from Harry, “Yeah,” he murmurs, teeth finding his bottom lip.

Niall cups Harry’s cheek, running his thumb over his cheek. He leans in slowly, pausing right before their lips touch-wanting Harry to finish the kiss.

And he does.

Harry’s lips meet Niall’s, his hands gripping the blonde’s hips.

Niall sighs and presses his body closer, craving the warmth Harry’s is giving off. Niall nibbles on Harry’s lip, licking into his mouth.

A soft noise comes from Harry, his hands tightening on his hips. Niall’s hand moves from his cheek to knot in Harry’s hair.

For Niall, the kiss ended too quickly. But it left him breathless and he can’t fight the pride of noticing Harry is just as breathless. Niall rests his head against Harry shoulder.

Harry wraps his arms around Niall, “I’ll stay.” He murmurs.

Niall grips the bottom of the Harry’s shirt and pulls it up and over Harry’s head. “Gotta make sure you’re comfortable to sleep.” His head isn’t swimming with liquor, it’s is swimming with Harry. His lips, his taste, his smell, his warmth. Harry.  

Harry laughs softly, “Got to make sure of it.” He helps Niall’s shirt off.

-

Harry lays still, watching Niall’s back rise and fall with each breath. He should put his jeans and shirt back on and leave. He doubts Niall would remember anything.

With a sigh, he shifts to get out of the bed and Niall grips him more tightly, whimpering softly. “Haz,” Niall breathes out.

Harry freezes and glances down. “Sorry love. Just trying to go.”

Niall frowns and looks up, sleep covering every piece of his face. His stupidly cute face. “Go where?” He yawns and runs his hand through his ridiculous looking hair. “Don’t you have a hang over?” Niall asks, trying to ignore the dry mouth and rough headache.

“I’m thirsty and could use an aspirin.” Harry whispers to Niall.

“And a good greasy breakfast. Beans and toast and sausage.” Niall lays back down and presses his face into Harry’s side.

“I’m assuming you remember last night.” Harry says sheepishly, looking down at Niall.

Niall shrugs, ignoring the flush that takes over his cheeks. “I love you. And you deserve all the love.”

Harry smiles softly. “No regrets?”

“None.” Niall smiles and Harry cuddles back down with him, tangling their legs.

Harry grabs his phone and tweets out, “All the love .xx” before tossing it aside and cuddling up to Niall, his face burying into his bare shoulder. He trails gentle kisses along the soft skin. 

Niall looks up at him with a faint smile, “Missing my lips, Styles.” 

Harry hums and leans in, his lips pressing gently against Niall’s. 


	60. Too Much to Ask

**Part 1 is found: Ch.** **13: And I Write Again, I Love You**

**Part 2 is found: Ch. 53:**   **Even Though You Don't Mean It**

* * *

 

Niall waited for you to come back. He tried to not remember the door shutting him in the house, the door shutting him out of your new flat… he only tried to remember how it was when you two were together. How no matter what was going on and happening around the two of you, all you had to do was look back at him and smile. Your face lit up the sun and brought Niall to life. 

  
Your smile haunted him, frequently. He closed his eyes your grin was painted on the inside of his eyelids.   
  
He needed to stop waiting for you and needed to start waiting there for someone else.   
  
That in and of itself was impossible.   
  
It was getting fucking sad. He would see other women look his way but all he could do was study their features and find your likeness in them. The blonde had your smile, the brunette had your kind eyes, the black hair had your smile… he didn’t see the woman as potential ladies in his life. He saw pieces of you.  
  
Niall pulled out his phone and stared at the text chat you two had. His eyes traced over the “I love you” even though you didn’t mean it.   
  
He knew you’d blocked him and he knew you wouldn’t get the messages, but it didn’t stop him. “Love, do you feel this rough? Why’s it only you I’m thinking of?” He watched the message send, but never deliver.   
  
It was pitiful, really, every time his phone went off his heart would jump, every buzz caused him to hold his breath, and every photo that he had of the two of you in his photo stream made him tear up.   
  
Niall locked his phone and shook his head. He blinked back the tears and stood up, the lamplight casting a warm glow around the room. It should feel warm, it should feel loving, and homey. But all he can focus on is how he can see his shadow, only his, dancing around the room without you.   
  
Niall turned off the light quickly and started down the hall to his room, his heart hoping you’d walk in tonight. That you would tell him that you regret leaving, regret moving on…  
  
Because if he was honest with himself, Niall wasn’t over you yet.   
  
It was cold and quiet. The absence of you was deafening. It left him fumbling in the dark, trying to forget the space you made for yourself in his life. Forget the touch of your lips, taste between your legs, forget the way you looked at him when you said you loved him.   
  
Niall laid in bed, eyes staring at the ceiling. Why couldn’t he move on? Get over you? You obviously had done so, so why was this so hard for him?  
  
He watched headlights flood over his window and settle on the back wall. He sat up, eyes watching the movement from outside, the lights coming down the drive, but they only paused at the sign. Then they were gone.   
  
That happened way more than he liked to admit. He would see the headlights approach the house or hear what he thought was your car.   
  
But it was never you and the feeling of disappointment washed over him each time and it was ridiculously pathetic.   
  
With one last check of the phone, just in case you responded, Niall laid down and turned onto his right shoulder. He tucked your pillow against him, cuddling it. It smelt of you and sometimes when he closed his eyes, he would forget you’re not actually there.  
  
Did you ever think of him?   
  
Because all he could do was think of you.

-

He was restless in his sleep and woke before the sun came up. Niall was on his back again-he never had that problem when you were there. Your side of the bed was cold, your pillow’s scent was slowly being overtaken by his scent. Niall was not only losing you, but losing himself.  
  
He couldn’t sit too long in the kitchen because his mind would draw up memories of you singing and baking… he couldn’t properly watch a footie game without imagining you bringing him a beer and cuddling in his lap… he couldn’t get a proper shower in because of amount of times Niall held you up against the wall and made you cum so loud, the neighbors called in a complaint… he couldn’t even wank properly without getting teary eyed, because he had to think of you. He couldn’t eat, barely slept, his phone was his constant companion, because he never knew when you’d finally come back. If you would-he prayed you would.   
  
After wrestling with his thoughts he tried to force sleep to comeback to him but it wasn’t happening. He cursed to himself and fixed himself a cup of English breakfast tea. He forced himself to his porch and sat outside, watching the sunrise.   
  
Niall checked his phone out of force of habit, hoping you’d respond. He sighed and stared at the undelivered, blue messages before sending another. “Don’t it feel fucked it we’re not in love?” He bit on his nail. “Because to me, it’s fucked.”   
  
He sighed as the sun washed over him. He watched the warm sunshine engulf him, but he felt cold. His shadow was still there, mocking him as it danced without you, he’d still be hoping you’d walk through that door when night came, he’d still be hoping you’d tell him everything you regret, all because he wasn’t over you yet.   
  
That’s all Niall wanted, was to be over you, starting with someone new.   
  
Is it too much to ask?   
  
[ _Too Much to Ask_](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fm.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4cfL9nTNugM&t=MDUyZTk1YzRkOTRmMDYyM2ZmZjkxMjhiZDA1M2FhNjViZDFmYjU5YyxhWTVuTHRRNQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AwcQrLFm7rs2k6sFoVAbKFg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fsweetniallofmine.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F165442376227%2Ftoo-much-to-ask-part-1-2-niall-waited-for-you-to&m=1)


	61. Awards and Rewards

There are a bundle of nerves set in his stomach, the only thing that kept him calm was your hand firmly in his. 

  
You peek up at him, his eyes are watching out the window and you could see the nerves that are making his usual calm demeanor troubled and intense.

“Breathe.” You remind him gently, squeezing his fingers gently. “You are going to go in there and come out of there. If you don’t win you’re not worse than you are before. Yeah?” You remind him, even though you knew in your gut that he was going to win. How could he not? 

Niall brings your hand up to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles. “I know.” He sighs. He really did know that. But it was almost more than just winning this. He knows he is successful at what he was doing. The charts prove that much, the other awards that he had won prove that, but this is different. 

This is solidifying all of his successes he went from 6 seconds of solos and being told he was ugly to being signed as a model and being extremely successful as a solo artist. 

He also knows other deserve it too, Post Malone, Julia… 

Niall is going on with no expectations. No worse off than he was before.   
-  
His hand stayed glued to your waist, he was constantly touching you, you are anchoring him down from the anxiety attack that was ready to go off at any moment. 

Even during the photographs, he didn’t let you leave even when the cameramen asked. 

Right now, his hand is on your hip, his other hand holding onto the microphone.   
“So Niall, you’re a model now we’ve heard?” 

“What me? No.” He jokes, a smile in place. 

You roll your eyes. “It’s all he can talk about nowadays. ‘Baby check this model out’ ‘Y/N, how does it feel to date a model?’ ‘No beer? Haven’t you heard I’m a model now. I need more Guiness.’ His excuse for everything! Can’t take out the trash or do the dishes.” You tease him as you speak  into the microphone and giggle, looking at Niall with fondness in your eyes. 

Niall blushes. “Well yeah. At least I make taking the trash out look good,” he mumbles and kisses your cheek. 

You smile and squeeze his side. “That you do.” 

* * *

  
Finding your seats is effortless. But the constant people stopping the two of you to take a picture with Niall made it more difficult to get there. 

Once the two of you are sat down, Niall has Mark post up in front of the two of you to stop any selfies from being taken. 

After he starts to chew his thumbnail, you reach out to hold his hand in yours. “None of that, darling.” Your whisper and bring his hand to your lap, rubbing the back of his hand. 

* * *

  
The award show should have been more fun to watch and experience but you could feel the tension rolling off of Niall. With him being so nervous, you had a hard time enjoying yourself. It didn’t bother you too much though, this is what you were here for, what you did for the people you cared about. 

He knows you aren’t really enjoying yourself but that is one of the reasons why he brought you to rehearsals this morning. He leans in and kisses your temple. “I’m sorry this isn’t enjoyable.” He sighs.

“Don’t worry about me, my love. We are here for you. And I like being here with you.” You smile and look up at him. He smiles and shifts his eyes towards the stage and you do the same.

* * *

  
  
Nick Cannon is on the stage, getting ready to announce the new artist of the year. 

Niall’s hand is gripping yours and you could feel him holding his breath and you are too.

Niall can’t hear anything over the sound of his heart thumping in his chest. His stomach is in bits and his heart is in his throat. The only thing that kept him halfway calm is your hand in his. His eyes are trained on Nick. 

“… is Niall Horan!” Nick yells. 

Niall didn’t quite hear him. It was you jumping and turning to look at him, a grin on your face that tells him he won. 

“You did it!” You say as you both stand up. 

His arms are around your waist and he buries his face in your neck, taking a deep breath of your familiar smell. You both pull away enough to kiss each other before he heads up the stairs to collect his AMA. 

You watch, pride beaming on your face as he gives his acceptance speech.   
Niall felt like he is tripping over his words as he spoke. He wants his sincerity to be heard, his gratefulness. He needs his fans to know that he was genuinely grateful and appreciative of every single one of them. “And last of all, thank you to my lovely girlfriend for being with me tonight and her unending support. Love ya babe.” He blows a kiss to you and smiles warmly. He starts to walk down the cat walk and turns around last moment, “Wait. My girlfriend,” he says to  Nick. 

“Oh don’t worry we’ll have her get to the back.” Nick reassures and follows Niall backstage.

Niall pulls out his phone and texts you immediately. ‘Mark is coming to get you then we can leave.’ He paces for a couple of moments and grins when he sees you walk back. 

“Baby!” You squeal and throw your arms around him and press into him. “You did it! Congratulations!!” You smile and kiss all over his face, kissing his lips every so often. 

He kisses you back as much as he can before they ask him to take some photos with his award.

“Well I’m a model now, in case you haven’t heard. I can definitely do that.” He says happily and the two of you walk to where he’s to photographed. You laugh and shake your head as he strikes a dramatic pose. Your heart skips a beat every time he smiles and you take some of your own photos of him with his award. 

He comes over and wraps his arm around your waist and leans his head close to yours. “Let’s head home.” He murmurs and kisses the shell of your ear.   
You hum and squeeze his sides. “Let’s.”   
-  
Your dress has been dragged up your body, gathered at your hips. Your bare legs on either side of Niall, keeping him pinned to the leather of the blacked out Escalade. 

The buttons of his shirt has been undone as far as you could get them, bare hands gripping your ass tightly and keeping you firmly in place. 

His lips are rough against yours, your hands tugging at his hair. “Fuck,” you breathe raggedly against his lips. 

“How does it feel to make out with the New Artist of the Year?” Niall asks as his lips travel down your neck. Just that thought got him a bit harder. All his hard work paying off. 

You grind down a bit into him. “Bet it’ll be better to fuck him.”

He gasps and bites down on your shoulder, “Fuck,” he breathes against your warm skin.

This is all he wanted after the win. He wanted to celebrate himself, you, the both of you.

“‘’m gonna get you off ‘fore we get home,” He whispers as he sucks a mark into the soft flesh where your shoulder meets your neck. He grips your hips roughly and adjusts you on him. He had you straddling his thigh.

“No. I don’t want to ruin your pants.” You shift off of him.

He huffs and grabs the slip from under your dress and puts it against his thigh. “Grind on that, Please.” He breathes out and kisses the spot under your ear.

“But this is Armani.” You whimper out and grind against his thigh anyways.

“Dry cleaning is a thing that exists.” He argues and pinches your nipples over your dress.

You let out a breathy sigh and grind against him slowly. He watches your eyes closely. Getting you off is one of his favourite things to do and it is always a treat to watch your come undone by his doing.

Niall grips your hips and guides your movements, bouncing his leg every so often. You bite your lip to keep any noise coming from you and dig your fingers into his shoulders.

He presses his thigh up more firmly against you and forces your hips down, moving them faster. Your clit is rubbing harshly against the fabric of your slip and the firmness of his thigh. You bury your face in his neck and move your hips faster, letting the white hot feeling fill your stomach.

“Cum for me baby,” Niall whispers in your ear and takes your earlobe in his mouth.

You dig your nails into his shoulder and a soft noise come from you as the warmth in your belly spreads and you cum.

He smirks and rubs your sides gently. “Very good.” He teases gently and kisses your bare shoulder.

You laugh breathlessly and pull back to look at him with hazy eyes, your orgasm still fresh on your face and reflected in the dopey grin, “Thanks.”

Niall reaches up and cups your cheeks, thumbs tracing your cheek bones. “Anytime love.” He whispers and tucks you against his chest, rubbing your back and getting you through your post orgasm.  

* * *

He helps you out of the car and thanks the driver, thankful for the divider.

Niall is unlocking the door and you unceremoniously shove your hand down his pants. You grip his dick and bite on his shoulder. “Hurry,” you whine softly, moving your hand.

His hand stutters and he drops the keys. “God dammit, baby, please wait.” He gasps and rubs your arm before gently pulling it out of his pants. “I’ll be all yours once we get through that door.” He teases and bends down to pick up the keys.

You spank his bum gently. “Well hurry, Horan. You didn’t hype yourself up to be the New Artist of the Year and a model in the car for me to simply not have a dick in my mouth by the time we got home.” You huff and whine softly.

He unlocks the door quickly and you push past him, grabbing his hand as you two go inside. You shut the door and push him against it, lips finding his in a rough kiss. Your hands go from tugging his hair and trail down his neck and shoulders before carefully unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Niall breaks the kiss and watches you unbutton his shirt and undo his pants.

“Tonight is about you.” You say softly and push the shirt off of his shoulders and watch it fall to the floor. “I’m going to make you feel so good.” You whisper, lacing your fingers with his, smiling. You lead him to the room and stand with your back to him. “Unzip me please.” You ask him sweetly.

Niall watches your body as you lead him to the master room, how your body moved under the evening gown, how your bare feet sounded against the wood floors, how your perfume made him felt like he was home. “Anything for you.” He whispers and kisses along your shoulder as he pulls the zip down before trailing kisses along your spine. His fingers hook into the soft satin of your panties and drags them down your legs, kissing the back of your thighs. You fight the shivers but fail, your eyes close in bliss and you let out a soft sigh when he leaned back. His hand smacks against your bare ass and you bite down on your lip.

“I like with this dress you didn’t have to wear a bra.” He hums and stands, wrapping his arms around you, his hands cupping your boobs gently, finding your nipples and pinching gently.

You tip your head back to rest against his shoulder. “You know, this isn’t about me. But I appreciate the body worship my love.” You cover his hands and put them on your hips and you turn to face him. “But I wanna ride the fuck out of the New Artist of the Year and my model boyfriend.” You say and pull off his undershirt and toss it aside.

He bites his lip as you praise him for his win for the evening, pulling you roughly against him. “Say it again.” He breathes out as you pull down his slacks and boxers, getting on your knees.

You look up innocently at him and take his dick in your hand. “I want to ride the fuck out of my New Artist of the Year and model boyfriend.” You end in a whisper and take his dick in your mouth. You moan softly and lower your mouth over him, eyes fluttering close.

Niall’s eyes close and he lets out a loud moan, “Fuck.”

You choke on his dick before pulling off and looking at him. “Should have let me sucked you off in the car.” You say with a look at him before standing.

He smirks and pulls you in for a kiss. “I love you.” He murmurs.

“I love you.” You say and push him onto the bed. “I am so proud of you.” You murmur and straddle him down to the bed, resting on his thighs.

He smiles softly and reaches to rub your hips gently.

You shift up and slide down onto his dick with a moan, your head tipping back. Niall’s hips buck up slightly and he lets out his own moan. “Fuck, baby.” He get out gruffly. You stir your hips for a moment before starting to move up and down, riding him.

Niall’s hands grip your hips to keep him grounded. His eyes go between watching your face to watching your tits bounce.

The pace was getting too not be enough for you so you start to bounce a bit more quickly, wanting to just be fucked on his dick.

A loud moan comes from Niall and he starts to fuck his hips up into you, causing you to cry out his name loudly. You feel the warmth pool in your stomach, your head tips back a bit. Niall’s calloused fingertips find your clit and rub quickly, his hips not losing the rhythm you two had created.

Fingertips putting on a show echo in your mind as he rubs at your clit, causing you to moan his name again, your hips stuttering in rhythm. You feel the sweat bead on your upper lip and Niall enjoys the sheen that has coated your body. “Cum for me.” Niall pants out, enjoying the sound of his balls slapping against your ass. He was working up his own sweat, he could feel it drip off his temple.

You shake your head, “You won,” you pant out. “You’re a model,” you laugh breathlessly. You push your hands onto his chest, moving your hips faster, chasing your orgasm.

Niall groans loudly, “Fuck, baby just like that.” He turns his head and moans loudly.

You go faster, your toes tingle, your thighs start to shake, you scream out his name as you come undone.

His hands keep tight on your hips to keep you moving as he fucks into you until he comes, your name leaving his lips like an uttered prayer.

You carefully pull off of him and lay against his flushed, sweaty chest. “I just fucked the new artist of the year.” You tease him gently, pressing a chaste kiss to his chest.

“And a model, don’t forget that.” He breathes out and wipes his forehead before rubbing your back and pulling a sheet over the two of you.

“How could I?” You ask softly, rubbing his chest gently.

“Thank you for being there tonight, darling. I needed you. And you were there. I appreciate it.” He says genuinely, carefully taking the pins out of your hair as he speaks. “You’re so good to me.” He takes the last one out and massages your head gently.

You let out a soft moan, “That feels nice.” You say before looking up at him, “Anything for you. I am glad to be here and your support. That’s what girlfriends are for.” You smile lovingly.

Niall lenas in and presses a light kiss to your forehead. “Thank you.” He murmurs.

“Anytime.” You whisper back and lean in to kiss him gently.


End file.
